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Help getting over a totally stupid fear

KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
edited March 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
I know I've been making a lot of stupid threads, probably to the point where you think I'm a troll, but this'll be the last one, promise.

Ever since first seeing Donnie Darko in 2001 I've been totally terrified of the character of Frank. Now this in itself wouldn't be a problem, but the fact that it is a really, really good film annoys me in this context because now I can't even watch the film withou either having to hide or just cover my eyes, or block my ears, cause his voice weirds me out too.

This fear is to the extent that when we watched the film in Film Studies at college last year I had to leave the room during his longer scenes because I just couldn't stand sitting there with him on the screen.

And even through my paralysing fear of him, I don't regret watching that film because as well as a fear of a fictional guy dressed as a low-budged demonic bunny rabbit I also got a severe love of Duran Duran from that film. Mostly it's the ridicule I want to stop, because I'm always beeing taken the piss out of for being scared of him, even to the point that on Halloween one of my classmates actually went out and goy a full Frank costume and stood in the corner of the class, staring right at me, while everybody else pretended not to even notice he was there.

I've heard of people confronting their fears by facing them again and again, but trying to do that for me involves watching the film, and whenever I do that my fear only seems to get worse.

So if there's anybody with any ways to cure a totally irrational fear like this that hopefully doesn't involved going to see a therapist, I'll be glad to know. Thanks

KeyScourge on
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    Post BluePost Blue Redmond, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I guess this thread is preferable as the alternative to having your classmates posting thirty "I Need a Life" threads. Some people are just deeply disturbed by things, and it would be nice if people could just leave them be with their idiosyncrasies. It's not your fault that they can't muster a more worthwhile outlet for their energy.

    Post Blue on
    Moments before the wind.
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    THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well you could always start by listening to the music with his scenes or hang a photo of him in an everyday setting.

    Just get used to the fact that he exists.

    THEPAIN73 on
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    KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    THEPAIN73 wrote: »
    Well you could always start by listening to the music with his scenes or hang a photo of him in an everyday setting.

    Just get used to the fact that he exists.
    I've got the poster for the film in my room. You know, the one that has all the character aranged so it looks like Frank's face. But that has no effect.

    KeyScourge on
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    THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    KeyScourge wrote: »
    THEPAIN73 wrote: »
    Well you could always start by listening to the music with his scenes or hang a photo of him in an everyday setting.

    Just get used to the fact that he exists.
    I've got the poster for the film in my room. You know, the one that has all the character aranged so it looks like Frank's face. But that has no effect.

    Make/Find a new one.

    THEPAIN73 on
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    urahonkyurahonky Resident FF7R hater Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Also, don't really think this is a stupid fear. Fears are just that: fears. No matter how trivial the object/idea is, it's still something that gets a reaction from you.

    Believe it or not I'm terrified of balloons. I don't know why. I hate when I go to parties and there are balloons. I can usually suck it up and deal with it, but if they start rubbing them I get all freaked out and leave.

    I guess my point is that you shouldn't really be hard on yourself for being scared of the bunny. It happens. This post doesn't really help your situation, though, so I'm sorry.

    urahonky on
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    BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Have you considered seeing someone about this? Maybe the problem isnt with frank but a deeper pschological problem that youve been associating with the image of him, even on a subconcious level.

    Hell maybe its just that you are afraid of going crazy like donnie did and frank symbolises that the most in the movie, that on the surface would be pretty rational. Just not to the extreme you seem to be taking it.

    Bedlam on
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    TaximesTaximes Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I have a friend who's afraid of toothpicks. And, while I'm not afraid of them, I get a nails & chalkboard shiver down my spine every time I think about frozen M&Ms.

    At least a character in Donnie Darko isn't an everyday item that you're likely to encounter. I really wouldn't worry about it. :P

    Taximes on
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    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Fear of balloons is fairly common, but fear of toothpicks is a new one. And frozen M&Ms, too.

    There is always a reason you're afraid of something. It's likely that it's something completely normal and not traumatic, and it's also likely you'll never really find out why. Often it seems that we reinforce our own fears by thinking about it as something that is feared.

    I would suggest that you yourself try dressing as Frank for Halloween, or a costume party, or something. I know a few people who stopped being afraid of the xenomorphs in Aliens when they got to play as them in the video game.

    Aside from that kooky suggestion,confrontation and exposure is the best way to get over a fear.

    Evil Multifarious on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    urahonky wrote: »
    Also, don't really think this is a stupid fear. Fears are just that: fears. No matter how trivial the object/idea is, it's still something that gets a reaction from you.

    Believe it or not I'm terrified of balloons. I don't know why. I hate when I go to parties and there are balloons. I can usually suck it up and deal with it, but if they start rubbing them I get all freaked out and leave.

    I guess my point is that you shouldn't really be hard on yourself for being scared of the bunny. It happens. This post doesn't really help your situation, though, so I'm sorry.
    You're scared of them because they're a fucking bomb, waiting to go off at any moment, with absolutely zero warning, with a loud, ear-piercing "pop." There's nothing at all irrational about it. And if anyone tells you there is, kick their ass.

    To the OP: meh. Is it really worth worrying about that much? Everyone has fears. If you really want to get over it, your best bet is to just sit down and force yourself to watch the movie over and over again. Or pull up YouTube's of the scenes that disturb you the most, and repeatedly watch them, until you get bored. Then watch them some more.

    Thanatos on
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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    OP,

    As far as fears go; this one isn't too bad. While I can't say this is a fear of mine I do happen to find feet to be the most revolting thing ever. Hows that for stupid? I can't the sight, but I get especially grossed out if I am touched by them. Even commercials featuring foot models make my stomach turn. Anyway the point I'm trying to make is that be glad that what you are scared of is a rarity and something that you can somewhat control by walking out of the room and so forth.

    Also I'm sure there is a clip somewhere on youtube that I don't feel like looking for about this guy who is deathly afraid of peaches (as in the fruit).

    brandotheninjamaster on
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    witch_iewitch_ie Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    One thing that could help is to learn more about Frank - what he actually is, not what he represents. Research the actor's biography. Learn how the costume was made and what became of it. Break Frank down to the simplest level so that you can understand him from a rational point of view. I don't think you can completely remove irrational fear through understanding, but it can help you deal with it.

    Also, your classmates are asshats. In the future, I recommend you not share your fears with people like this. I know it was somewhat unavoidable given your film class, but you didn't have to tell them why you kept getting up to leave the room. Until you told them what was going on, for all they knew, maybe you had some narly tacos the night before.

    witch_ie on
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    SarcastroSarcastro Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Carry a picture of Frank around with you and watch it while you eat.

    Course, then you'll be 'that crazy dude obsessed with Frank' instead of 'big weiny afraid of Frank', but like most, I feel that would be a step up.

    Sarcastro on
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    TaximesTaximes Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Fear of balloons is fairly common, but fear of toothpicks is a new one. And frozen M&Ms, too.

    There is always a reason you're afraid of something.

    With the M&Ms, I know exactly why - it's the horrible feeling of my teeth grating along the frozen candy shell instead of releasing the delicious chocolaty goodness inside, which was reinforced by the fact that my parents would always freeze candy if they didn't want me to eat it. Somehow they knew I was too impatient a child to wait for it to thaw. :P

    Taximes on
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    Post BluePost Blue Redmond, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Taximes wrote: »
    Fear of balloons is fairly common, but fear of toothpicks is a new one. And frozen M&Ms, too.

    There is always a reason you're afraid of something.

    With the M&Ms, I know exactly why - it's the horrible feeling of my teeth grating along the frozen candy shell instead of releasing the delicious chocolaty goodness inside, which was reinforced by the fact that my parents would always freeze candy if they didn't want me to eat it. Somehow they knew I was too impatient a child to wait for it to thaw. :P
    I always hate it when people ask if I want to put M&Ms in my icecream. It makes them taste like cold, dusty gravel, and I have to suck on the things for thirty seconds to restore them to anything close to a palatable state.

    Post Blue on
    Moments before the wind.
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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Post Blue wrote: »
    Taximes wrote: »
    Fear of balloons is fairly common, but fear of toothpicks is a new one. And frozen M&Ms, too.

    There is always a reason you're afraid of something.

    With the M&Ms, I know exactly why - it's the horrible feeling of my teeth grating along the frozen candy shell instead of releasing the delicious chocolaty goodness inside, which was reinforced by the fact that my parents would always freeze candy if they didn't want me to eat it. Somehow they knew I was too impatient a child to wait for it to thaw. :P
    I always hate it when people ask if I want to put M&Ms in my icecream. I tastes like cold, dusty gravel, and I have to suck on them for thirty seconds to restore them to anything close to a palatable state.

    YES! I know what you mean. My step-dad does that all the time.

    brandotheninjamaster on
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    MadpandaMadpanda suburbs west of chicagoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    As mentioned earlier, watch the youtube videos of frank scenes, however in the backround have silly ass music or something else that makes you laugh going. After a while you will probably form an association with the two and most likely the humor part will prevail. Watching the scenes in fast forward to the benny hill theme sounds about right.

    The other possible outcome is you will be now terrified of whatever humorous soundtrack was played over the frank scenes.

    Madpanda on
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    Post BluePost Blue Redmond, WARegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Madpanda wrote: »
    As mentioned earlier, watch the youtube videos of frank scenes, however in the backround have silly ass music or something else that makes you laugh going. After a while you will probably form an association with the two and most likely the humor part will prevail. Watching the scenes in fast forward to the benny hill theme sounds about right.

    The other possible outcome is you will be now terrified of whatever humorous soundtrack was played over the frank scenes.
    Yeah, I imagine having a meltdown anytime Yakety Sax comes on wouldn't do any favors for a sense of humor.

    Post Blue on
    Moments before the wind.
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    TychoCelchuuuTychoCelchuuu PIGEON Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    You're not a troll, you're just completely nuts. As for getting over the bunny, instead of putting silly music in the background while you watch the YouTube clips, I'd load the YouTube clips up and play through them minimized a few times so you get used to the sound. Then just start watching them straight up, a little bit at a time. Eventually I'm pretty sure you'll be able to watch Frank no problem.

    Or just, like, ignore it. I mean if I was scared of the sound cats make when they claw through waffles I don't know if I'd bother divesting myself of the fear. Then again if you have a whole school full of assholes willing to exploit your fear I can sort of see the point.

    TychoCelchuuu on
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    ED!ED! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I have a phobia (not a fear, more like a disgust) or plastic shirt buttons and old-timey cloth buttons. Really just buttons in general (and jewelry). I "got over" the idea of plastic shirt buttons because well, they're like computers, you have to use them. The others, not so much. As someone said, just keep exposing yourself to it. Eventually your mind will have to reconcile the fear. Now if someone did something bad to you while dressed as FRANK and you buried it, and your subconscious fabricated this reality for you - yea, thats a whole nother can of worms.

    ED! on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    You people should post more irrational fears, this comedy gold!

    Me? I'm affraid of really mundane things like spiders popping up unexpected.

    If i know it's there, i'm actually quite fascinated by them, but getting one on me when i don't expect it makes me freak out a little.

    bwanie on
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    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    bwanie wrote: »
    You people should post more irrationall fears, this comedy gold!

    Me? I'm affriad of really mundane things like spiders popping up unexpected.

    If i know it's there, i'm actually quite fascinated by them, but getting one on me when i don't expect it makes me freak out a little.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSCotdOh5WY

    OP: considering how creepy Frank is, your fear is normal compared to this one.

    Evil Multifarious on
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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    brandotheninjamaster on
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    urahonkyurahonky Resident FF7R hater Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Thanatos wrote: »
    urahonky wrote: »
    Also, don't really think this is a stupid fear. Fears are just that: fears. No matter how trivial the object/idea is, it's still something that gets a reaction from you.

    Believe it or not I'm terrified of balloons. I don't know why. I hate when I go to parties and there are balloons. I can usually suck it up and deal with it, but if they start rubbing them I get all freaked out and leave.

    I guess my point is that you shouldn't really be hard on yourself for being scared of the bunny. It happens. This post doesn't really help your situation, though, so I'm sorry.
    You're scared of them because they're a fucking bomb, waiting to go off at any moment, with absolutely zero warning, with a loud, ear-piercing "pop." There's nothing at all irrational about it. And if anyone tells you there is, kick their ass.

    Haha you know, I never thought of it that way. I always thought I was weird to have that fear just because it seems so mundane. But yeah.. Thanks Than. :P

    urahonky on
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    FerdyFerdy Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    witch_ie wrote: »
    Break Frank down to the simplest level so that you can understand him from a rational point of view. I don't think you can completely remove irrational fear through understanding, but it can help you deal with it.

    This is the closest thing that worked for me. I was terrified of the black rabbit from Watership Down and had been ever since my parents decided that animated film = film for children, no matter how many times I had nightmares afterwards. It got so bad I started getting a little freaked out when I saw things out of the corner of my eye which looked black, pointy and stylised, so I bought the film and watched it a load of times, looked at pictures of it often, kept telling myself "it's only a drawing" - I still find it a bit disturbing, but no more nightmares.

    Ferdy on
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    Psychotic OnePsychotic One The Lord of No Pants Parts UnknownRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Its fairly normal that a fear no matter how rational will affect you. Its a simple matter of training to change the way you react to it. Kinda like how military/secret service/what have you train to go into kill mode rather than panic if they hear a gun shot.

    I'd say work towards it. Start with a picture and once a day stare at it. I mean daggers at it and repeat its a fictional character and can never harm me. When you can stare it down in the face and it not make you want to run from the room you can escalate this. Get a punching bag/bopping clown/MMA dummy and tape its picture on the bag/clown/dummy head and work out some aggression on it. You'll start to transfer it from a thing to fear to something else.

    Psychotic One on
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    KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    Ferdy wrote: »
    witch_ie wrote: »
    Break Frank down to the simplest level so that you can understand him from a rational point of view. I don't think you can completely remove irrational fear through understanding, but it can help you deal with it.

    This is the closest thing that worked for me. I was terrified of the black rabbit from Watership Down and had been ever since my parents decided that animated film = film for children, no matter how many times I had nightmares afterwards. It got so bad I started getting a little freaked out when I saw things out of the corner of my eye which looked black, pointy and stylised, so I bought the film and watched it a load of times, looked at pictures of it often, kept telling myself "it's only a drawing" - I still find it a bit disturbing, but no more nightmares.
    So we have two people know who find fictional rabbits disturbing. Awesome. And to be honest my Frank phobia has gotten a lot better since 2001. More accurately since about last year tbh, cause until last year I'd never properly seen the film. I got spooked my him in the damn trailer and for months kept thinking "if I go round this corner he's gonna be there." Totally stupid, but that's what I kept thinking. Him in the actual film wasn't as bad, except when he just appears behind Donnie in the bathroom and in the therapist's office. So I guess you could say it's not a full-blown fear any more. I just get severely unnerved and freaked out by the concept of a demonic-looking, 6 foot tall, hallucanegenic, time-travelling bunny rabbit that can make people flood schools and burn down pedophile's houses

    KeyScourge on
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    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I know a lady who really is terrified of pickles. She had the phobia even in elementary school and she's not the lady from Maury.

    DasUberEdward on
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    KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    I know a lady who really is terrified of pickles. She had the phobia even in elementary school and she's not the lady from Maury.
    That pickle lady on Maury is hilarious. Totally ridiculous phobia

    KeyScourge on
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    bwaniebwanie Posting into the void Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    oh shit i just realised i was terrified of the demon-rabbit that got pulled out of a hat in the twilight zone movie ( the story about the omnipotent kid, send you to the cornfield and what not)

    in my defense i was like twelve when i saw it.

    bwanie on
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    cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    see the movie with friends? riff on it MST3k style?

    cooljammer00 on
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    projectmayhemprojectmayhem Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I would just like to ease your brain a bit.

    I am afraid of plants. Deathly afraid.

    Plants. Any of them.

    projectmayhem on
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    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I would just like to ease your brain a bit.

    I am afraid of plants. Deathly afraid.

    Plants. Any of them.

    you must have a difficult life.

    have you been outside?

    i don't even see how this is possible.

    Evil Multifarious on
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    darklite_xdarklite_x I'm not an r-tard... Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I would say, jerk off while watching scenes of Frank on Youtube.

    Bear with me here. How serious are you going to be able to take Frank if every time you see him it reminds you of you of spanking it?

    darklite_x on
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    Aoi TsukiAoi Tsuki Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    That thing in the crate in the first Creepshow scared me to tears the first time I saw it as a kid. My dad encouraged me to beat the shit out of it in my head, which helped a lot.

    It's worked on the lady from Ringu to some extent, too (see it, tense up, then think, "FUCK YOU, CROAKY DEMON LADY" and imagine an RE4-style shotgun blast directly at her goddamn freaky face). Never mind that bullets would probably just irritate her: it makes me feel a little less powerless.

    That bear-suited guy from the very end of The Shining still terrifies me, though. I can only shotgun those fucking hollow eyes for a second at a time before my mind bails in terror. :/

    Dunno if desensitization through imagined violence is your thing, though. Sure is mine!

    Aoi Tsuki on
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    brandotheninjamasterbrandotheninjamaster Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    darklite_x wrote: »
    I would say, jerk off while watching scenes of Frank on Youtube.

    Bear with me here. How serious are you going to be able to take Frank if every time you see him it reminds you of you of spanking it?

    o_O what?

    brandotheninjamaster on
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    KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited March 2009
    darklite_x wrote: »
    I would say, jerk off while watching scenes of Frank on Youtube.

    Bear with me here. How serious are you going to be able to take Frank if every time you see him it reminds you of you of spanking it?
    I don't know what's more scary. Your advice or the fact that it actually makes sense...

    KeyScourge on
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    ArgusArgus Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I'd suggest looking up some behind the scenes stuff. If I remember correctly, the Director's Edition has that stuff on the second DVD. It shows the actor who plays Frank in normal lighting with the head of the costume off, making him look just like what he is--a guy in a giant bunny costume.

    Seeing the character of Frank without the movie enhancements (background scary music, scary lighting, stuff like that) might help to realize that the thing isn't scary.

    Argus on
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    TheDragonTheDragon Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    If you smoke weed regularly, that might make you more susceptible to paranioa and fears. If you find that smoking weed makes you paranoid and anxious, you are more prone to these emotions later even when you're not high.

    TheDragon on
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    Indica1Indica1 Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    KeyScourge wrote: »
    I know a lady who really is terrified of pickles. She had the phobia even in elementary school and she's not the lady from Maury.
    That pickle lady on Maury is hilarious. Totally ridiculous phobia

    I always figured that girl got raped with a pickle. Is that really how phobias work or is it pop psycology nonsense?

    Indica1 on

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    DisDis Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The secret to overcoming is fear is getting used to it.

    Dis on
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