Booze, and Unexpected Lady Visits

Popices

Well hello there once again,

This past Saturday I was at a get-together where some friends were invited, and alcohol was present. I ingested a fair amount as guests were arriving (vodka, to be more specific) and did so on an empty stomach without really thinking about it (I don't drink often so I didn't think twice about not having eaten in awhile...a mistake, I now know). A bunch of people were over, we were shooting the shit, and all was well...After about an hour and a half, a friend, who is a lady arrived (did not know she would be there), and by that point I already had more than enough. I stopped drinking, but unfortunately due to not having food in my stomach, the alcohol really blindsided me and knocked me on my ass. Essentially, I had a 'blackout' and do not remember much of anything past a certain point, something I don't think I have ever experienced before.

I have a somewhat moderate attraction toward said female; she is in my classes at school and I've considered her to be a friend for quite awhile...smart, funny, attractive...all that jazz, though I wouldn't ask her out to be in a relationship. For one, she is not the type of person I would date, and for two, I don't think she is interested in me in that manner either. From what several people at the get together have told me, was that I was wayyyy too open about how i felt (I didn't really think I felt that strongly about her) about her+was razzing her pretty good about how I was attracted to her, etc. I do not know the specifics of what I said, and no one there would really go into detail about it, but I can't imagine it was that great. A bit later, another male friend who I know she is attracted to showed up+I was told that I was giving him a hard time about 'being in the way', so to speak. I shot him a message the next day apologizing, and he messaged me back saying I was hilarious and he didn't think anything of it.

The lady, however, has really not talked to me since that night (only two nights, I know, but in class she didn't make any effort to talk to me when we usually converse pretty naturally). I sent her a message early in the morning after I woke up+realized that I was a real big dick to her, and she responded with 'I'll consider forgiving you, but you were really out of line'. I sent one more message profusely apologizing, as it was totally out of character for me to get that drunk+lose all of my better senses, but got nothing back. Basically, I am wondering if I should talk to her about it in person and say I'm really sorry (I don't plan to drink around her anymore....not that I planned on her being there anyway, but she came, which was unfortunate for me), or if I should go on living my life and if she continues to ignore me, well, then thats my own fault. The only problem is that she is in quite a large social circle of mine+I am afraid that I'll be left out of some activities because of that.

Edit: Keep in mind, I really am a genuine kind of guy who tries to put my best foot forward on all accounts. I make the usual funny stupid joke, but I am well-liked and respected by most people...I really do go out of my way to not be a douchebag, and really do feel awful about the whole situation.

TLDR: I blacked out from booze, apparently acted like a jackass when a good lady-friend showed up unexpectedly, and sent out an apology which didn't really get accepted. Do I try to avoid the whole subject in the future, or do I try to talk to her about it and apologize in person? Keep in mind she is part of one of my circles of friends I see regularly at school+occassionally outside of school. Also keep in mind that it is pretty rare for me to drink at all, especially to the point of intoxication.

I'd Fuck Chuck Lidell Up

offer to take her out for... well not drinks... lunch possibly.

tell her you are sorry for anything you might have said or done and hope for the best.

if she really is a good friend she'll forgive you for one night of being awful

Popices

Well, is it something I should do in person, or something I should relegate to an IM/text? I'm thinking I should apologize in person so she can see that I'm not blowing smoke+would know that I really feel bad about the whole situation...but I have been wrong in the past.

Fireflash

Well you already apologized twice to her. If you keep pressing the issue it might just make her annoyed at you. She already told you 'I'll consider forgiving you, but you were really out of line' the first time you apologized. I don't think there's much more you should do for now, other then wait a bit.

Nocturne

Sounds like she needs to understand that blackout drunk people do crazy shit if she is going to be going to parties. She should have laughed it off like the other guy did and accepted your apology. Unless you did something bad enough like repeatedly try to touch her or something. But if you were just coming on to her strong... that's what fucking happens when you get that drunk, and anyone who parties should understand that and be able to just have a laugh about it.

My 2c

Synthetic Orange

Call her up or meet in person. Apologizing in text is basically the laziest way of expressing regret.

Folken Fanel

Wait a few days, if things don't look up, do what Lidell suggests. Regardless of if she accepts, forget about it, learn from your mistake.

I once got wasted after not eating anything all day too. I went to the hospital that night. Things could have been worse for you!

Eat it You Nasty Pig.

Without knowing what you said, this doesn't sound like a big deal.

You got drunk, you said some dumb shit. This isn't something that an honest apology shouldn't fix if you two weren't on the outs anyway.

acidlacedpenguin

you sound young.

This shit happens all the time, unless you blackout-whipped-it-out or something it'll get forgotten about in a week.

Honestly if she holds it against you for any longer than that I think she needs to apologize.

PeregrineFalcon

Since no one here really knows what was said or done - including you - it's only the reactions of others that we can go off of.

Judging by the fact that the guy she's attracted to said you were hilarious and he didn't think anything of it, you were probably just "party drunk" and being loud, boisterous, uninhibited. You probably teased her a bit, which is what guys do to girls they like in grade school - and face it, when you're shitfaced, that's about the level of mental function you revert to. :P

The "I'll consider forgiving you" bit of her response also rubs me the wrong way, like you should be groveling and kissing her feet in order to be so lucky as to receive Her Majesty's mercy. o_O

Edit - Yeah, unless you whipped your junk out and dropped a pearl of wisdom like "It's not going to suck itself, now is it?" That might be a dealbreaker.

JHunz

Sounds to me like she was comfortable with the previous status of the relationship, i.e. you are someone friendly she can talk to who is not trying to stick his dick in her. Post-party, she has found out that you can be a big jerk when you're drunk and that you're (apparently) very attracted to her physically. She's probably just uncomfortable. Give her a few days, and apologize face-to-face if she hasn't thawed by then.