mully-thread - easter card #2 - crits please!

mullymully Registered User regular
edited April 2009 in Artist's Corner
Fire Awaaaaaaa-aaaay.

cosmo.png

I think you guys will agree this is pretty far from the kind of stuff I normally do.

Tear it apart. What do you like? What don't you like? Is it okay that the mirror doesn't have a stand? Could you see this in a ladies' magazine? Is the red too bright? Do you hate brunettes? Is it too centred? Do you get the "message"?

Thanks.

mully on
«13

Posts

  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I think I get the message... the angle on the "reflection" seems a bit wonky, though that might just be the shape of it.

    KalTorak on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    mully wrote: »
    What do you like? What don't you like? Is it okay that the mirror doesn't have a stand? Could you see this in a ladies' magazine? Is the red too bright? Do you hate brunettes? Is it too centred? Do you get the "message"?

    It's snazzy. It seems off-center somewhat, like off-balance is what I'm thinking. Yes. Yes. It's a bit bright, but that's not really the issue, it seems more to me that the skin is too pink because of it. I love brunettes, they are much better than blondes. Apparently I don't think so. Yes.

    NotASenator on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Highlight on the dress on the left leg looks odd. Also the white lines on the mirror could stand to be more vertical, give it a little more perspective.

    I get the message (I think), but I'm not sure about the pose- shouldn't the woman be looking at the mirror, rather than doing "sexy pose"?

    also I hate you for getting that song stuck in my head now.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    point is she has struck a sexy pose and didn't like what she saw (and now is looking at her own ass), we see sexy but then we see in her reflection that she thinks she looks (her definition of) terrible.

    i took out the highlight on the left leg -- didnt mean to upload it with that, actually. you are too fast, bacon. TOO FAST.

    okay @ mirror lines, i will giver' a shot.

    mully on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Well, I mean I get that she's supposed to be striking a sexy pose, but the fact that she's not reacting directly to the mirror with her head makes it a little weird. Take a little longer to figure out why she's crying because the eye isn't drawn to the mirror butt immediately.

    But if you turn the head around to look at the mirror, my gut feeling says stream of tears coupled with it may be a little too strong.

    (ref: that one scene in The Incredibles)

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    cosmo2.png

    better, for mirror shine?

    mully on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Yes, much.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    radical

    i am thinking over your comment about the looking at the mirror/looking at the butt comment - i know what you mean, but to me, the mirror is only there as a prop to show us what she is seeing in her mind, from looking at her butt..

    ...but yeah looking at the mirror would make more sense i guess

    haha if i moved the mirror in front of her right arm it'd look like she had her butt pressed up against it!

    mully on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Well if you insist on her not looking at it, 'sexy pose' doesn't make sense. Another pose that's less 'hey look at my sexy' could still work.

    I mean if you're checking yourself out in the mirror, and you didn't like what you saw and started getting all mopey, you wouldn't remain in mirror-posing pose while you moped, probably. You'd get in a mopey pose.

    I know this because I am an expert at making sexy mirror poses and then being roundly disappointed

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Well, it makes perfect sense to me.

    The way it read to me is that she made the sexy pose, looked at herself in the mirror, saw something she didn't like and then turned away from it, crying.

    NotASenator on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    but the image remains
    like a ghost
    ooo

    it is super difficult being the kind of girl that i am and trying to make something that might appeal to a fashion magazine

    mully on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, I get that, but it's sort of unnatural to move just your head and maintain the entirety of the rest of your body in a rigid "sexy" pose, rather than moving your head as well as relaxing the rest of your body.

    As a single illustration it may be fine, since it does get the point across. I'm just naturally inclined to look at poses from an acting/animation point of view more than anything, and that's where my critique is coming from.
    mully wrote: »
    it is super difficult being the kind of girl that i am and trying to make something that might appeal to a fashion magazine
    Hard drinking, sailor-cursing biker lady?

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    mully, you should try drawing while wearing a dress.

    NotASenator on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    precisely! ohhh the cursing i do. and the biking!

    no i mean more in the way that i generally dislike the kind of people that follow this crap

    also if i drew while wearing a dress i think it would come out full of angst

    mully on
  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    In that case I suggest changing the pose so she's strung up by the rafters instead.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    i just made girly-girl paler, to get rid of that "pink" look
    i realized i could make her any ethnicity very easily! oh man the possibilities.

    mully on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2009
    I would try and see how she looks with her head pointed down, since that conveys the shame very quickly and the body pose is more indicative of a 'sexy pose' than the tilt of the head.

    Munkus Beaver on
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  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    There needs to be a shadow...or something where the dress ends and the legs begin.

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
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  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    okay so i added a gradient on the leg, and i added in a beavoish square background just to see if it tied it together better -- what do you guys think?

    cosmo3.png

    also, tried the head down ... not sure which i like better, honestly. (this is just a mock up which is why its pixely)

    cosmoheaddown1.png

    mully on
  • NibCromNibCrom Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I like head down much better.

    NibCrom on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    anyone else have a preference for head up v head down?

    mully on
  • Forbe!Forbe! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Down.

    Also, not sure about the gradient on the calves.

    Forbe! on
    bv2ylq8pac8s.png
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Forbe! wrote: »
    Down.

    Also, not sure about the gradient on the calves.

    what if i made it more rounded to emphasize the top of the calves?

    mully on
  • NarcolepsyNarcolepsy Registered User
    edited March 2009
    I don't work with any medium other than video, but I really like this piece. I do think it was better without the gradient, but the head down pose is more vulnerable, I think.

    Narcolepsy on
  • MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Down indicates more insecurity. Nobody that is insecure walks with their head up high.

    MagicToaster on
  • crawdaddiocrawdaddio Tacoma, WARegistered User, ClubPA
    edited March 2009
    I can't really speak with any authority, but my beef with the gradient on the leg is that it seems too red, like she's got a strange sort of sunburn. Maybe a cooler color?

    EDIT: Also, head down

    crawdaddio on
    Try putting your donger in a dishwasher and see how that comes out.
  • KalTorakKalTorak One way or another, they all end up in the Undercity.Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I do like the head down, and the paler skin looks a lot better. The gradient on the legs seems off.

    KalTorak on
  • Forbe!Forbe! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    crawdaddio wrote: »
    I can't really speak with any authority, but my beef with the gradient on the leg is that it seems too red, like she's got a strange sort of sunburn. Maybe a cooler color?

    EDIT: Also, head down

    Yeah, tone it down or drop it. There really isn't a gradient in the whole piece that is that intense. Maybe it would work if the color weren't so saturated.

    Other than that, the changes you have made really strengthen it.

    Forbe! on
    bv2ylq8pac8s.png
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    okay, i took off the leg gradient, put the head down properly

    cosmoheaddown2.png

    ....and then i also changed her race because it seemed like it might be fun.

    cosmodark.png

    mully on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Instead of a gradient, do the same thing you did to accentuate the spine and stuff. Just a line of a shade darker or something.

    Otherwise I really like the head down.

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • Forbe!Forbe! Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, the line created by the dress looks a bit awkward, especially on the white one. With the skin made darker, the line isn't nearly as bad. Try doing what Veretas suggested.

    Forbe! on
    bv2ylq8pac8s.png
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    berklikesit.png


    will do, you guys, and thanks a lot! (here's a happier one because this is all so depressing. women! buh!)

    will put the lines on ze legs now..

    mully on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    cosmomirrorcolourchange.png

    so i changed the mirror colour to see if it made a difference ... do you guys like the blue better?

    added the leg shadows, changed the shadows to a less pinkish colour...

    mully on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    The shadow is aces, I don't like the blue.

    Leanna says 100% head down. She's an art history major, so she knows about this stuff. :p

    NotASenator on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    haha okay, cool, THANK YOU LEANNA.

    you dont like the blue, though?

    as soon as i put down the black mirror i was like "man blue looked so much better"

    anyone else?

    (also i have to say i am incredibly overly happy that no one is nitpicking the anatomy because i did it from my head without a sketch! i think it was a fluke though.)

    mully on
  • bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited March 2009
    Head down yes. Also I would try to move the reflection line or the butt crease so there's not a tangent there.

    Haha, butt crease.

    bombardier on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    whoops, yes, blue mirror is great.

    Black mirror is not great.

    NotASenator on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    okay i moved the butt crease!
    and back to blue.
    think im done with this drawing for today .. will probably start using this as a dumping grounds though

    mully on
  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Instead of a mirror, make it a portal, and fat her is trying to drag her over.

    NotASenator on
  • mullymully Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    that would be a whole new level of meanings
    i dont think girl magazines need anything deeper than "do i find myself pretty or not"

    mully on
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