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Best way to meet people and socialize at college?
Spunkyjoe
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm 19 and a Senior taking 21 hours at the University of Georgia. Since I'm kind of young for my class year, but don't really fit in with the freshmen either, I've found that I'm having a hard time getting used to the social scene. (I just recently came back from Japan.) I try to go to clubs or meets to hang out and meet people but so far that's been kind of unsuccessful. Any suggestions for how to meet people outside of classes?
Appreciate the advice!
Appreciate the advice!
Spunkyjoe on
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How about this: start up say a video-game tourney. Pick something that you can obviously play, but don't dominate (until you find a rival :P). Post ads around your dorm, and just around your dorm. Keep it small. You can just pick something like Smash Bros or whathave you, play it on a TV either in someone's larger dorm, or in the commons. This would be info you'd put on a flyer, along with either pull tabs of your cell number or at least your room number so people can drop you notes. Just organizing something small like this both puts you in contact with people with similar interests along with becoming a more socially-recognized individual.
Also, friends will come along. It seems to be more of an effort to AVOID people, especially in a school your size, than to take the occasional "Hello, how's your day?" and run with that into a conversation. Give it time, don't let it completely stress you out.
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Also, if you like any sports, you can join a sports team. If you're not good enough to get into varsity, you can always go for intramurals. Personally, I think intramurals are much more fun. There's like no pressure, and pretty much everyone there is out just to have fun.
THIS. You have no idea how many people I met just by leaving my door open and popping my head in other doors (if, for example, I heard them listening to awesome music and wanted to ask about it). Fortunately, most of the other folks on my floor did the same, so eventually, we had this massive floor of friends, all going to the dining hall together and what not. We knew of the few kids that kept their door closed, but hardly anyone actually became friends with them. And I'm the kinda guy that has a very hard time talking to new people, so I can say for sure this will net you some friends if your floor is any level of social.
Beyond that, I would chime in again on the club idea. Same type of people in the same place. Or in class, ask your neighbor a question or something, start small. I'm a chem engineer, so I'm with basically the same people in a few classes for each year, and it wasn't until this year (3rd) that I really started to talk and befriend the folks in my class.
The thing is, people are busy. Most people I've found are content to go to class, sit through it, and leave. On the bus, everyone's doing their own thing, plugged into their iPods or talking to someone they already know. It can get really frustrating, and I feel for you.
Additionally, since it's relevant to meeting new people, a few friends and I are conducting an ongoing social experiment on the bus. When we get on, we use different doors and sit or stand a bit apart. We greet eachother and start talking as if we don't see eachother that often, so stuff like "what classes are you taking?" "see any good movies lately" etc. The thing is, the topic has to be specific enough to have a real answer, but vague enough that it's not limited to our personal relationship. You'd be suprised at how many times other people will chime in with this more open exchange (as opposed to being close, talking about inside jokes, etc. like you normally would with a friend). A week or two ago, one friend and I ended up having a conversation about metaphysics with three or four random people, and outside of that a bunch more were quitely listening. So, it's worth a shot for meeting totally unrelated people.
Yep. Unless you're specifically doing something that can't be interrupted (homework, sleep) or that you don't want people to see (use your imagination), leave your door open. You'll meet people almost automatically. Some of them will be assholes, but some will be really cool.
Also, clubs clubs clubs. Join a club that you're not very familiar or comfortable, or a sport. Even if you're not into that sort of thing, most schools will have some sort of non-competitive/friendly sport clubs, Ultimate Frisbee or softball or whatever
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I guess I sort of miss that, having failed out of that school and now living back at home and going to a community college. Yay me. :-(
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one thing I would note though is that you are taking 21 hours of coursework in a single semester, and that means you have very little time to devote to social pursuits if you want to do well
this means you really have to prioritize and make time for socializing... don't just join a club, sit around, and then go home... join a club, participate, stick around, and accept invitations to other social events (parties, bra crawls, etc) and try to use the "I have so much work to do" excuse as little as possible
the general rule of thumb is that a person will only invite you out a handful of times and only accept a handful of refusals before he or she stops offering
really, on top of making the effort to meet people with an open door or a club, you have to make the effort to hang out with them... and of course you're in college for an education, so that should come first... so organize your time appropriately and don't cheat yourself out on a night out by procrastinating and doing other things when you could've been clearing up your homework and are stuck playing catch-up
also, consider volunteer work... there are always ample volunteering opportunities on campus and off, in the university community or that in the town in which you live, and you are likely to find people who relate to you just because you all care about whatever issue it is you have devoted your time to
finally, you recently came back from Japan, so join some clubs that'll put you in the same boat with Japanese students, people who are interested in Japan, people who like to travel, even people who like Asian food, etc... there's almost always a club that suits you or at least contains people who share your interests, you just have to take the time to explore them
Which dorm do you live in? Leaving your door open when you're just hanging out in your room is a great suggestion that I will second. I mostly met jackasses when I lived in the dorm, but the thing to remember is... those jackasses have friends that may not necessarily be jackasses. Just cast a wide net, you're bound to pull something in.
Back when I was living at school, I knew a couple of radio guys. Cool guys, had lots of fun.
Now that I'm commuting to a CC, can't really do that anymore. I don't want to be there longer than I have to each day.
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I'm going to get some flak for this, but I made a shitton of friends because I started smoking cigarettes around the same time. After that I ended up spending all my time outside, hanging out with the smokers. "Hey, can I bum a smoke?" Made me quite a few friends, all really great people. We'd sit outside, joke around, and play guitar all day.
Other then that, yeah, leave your door open whenever you're listening to music or playing some video games or whatever. The great thing about Dorms is if you befriend someone who easily makes friends, you get to reap the benifits.
Holy crap, this helps so much. Get one or two of these, and you'll meet infinitely more people. Basically, go for the talkative ones on your floor, the ones that you see stopping to talk to a bunch of different folks, and befriend these guys first. They're also the easiest to become friends with anyway with a personality like that.
More than that, actively seek out the people who live in the 2 or 3 rooms right next to yours. If anything they at the very least will want to be cordial because you pass by each other all the time.
Perhaps a hookah instead of cigs. People flock to hookahs.
I know it's been said already, but this is maybe the one thing no one ever brings to college that everyone should have.
Doorstop I think.
Stole mine from a chinese all you can eat buffet >.>
If you have shit that would devastate you if it got stolen, lock it up somewhere or find somebody you can infinitely trust and leave it with them. (I say this as we stole some lawn ornaments from some girl's party last weekend. We were drunk and stupid. It happens.) Basically though look at it this way, if you're going to make an omelette you're going to break some eggs.
The make friends with the social person is another great one. Learn from them and don't be afraid to talk to people. I find that 80% of the time that I start talking to somebody they're relieved that they've got somebody cool to talk to instead of standing around nervously.
If you can have a car on campus. Get one. This helps - A LOT. Just don't let yourself get constantly used to run people around on errands, have fun with it.
Party on dude, it's the right time for it.
For example, I joined Boat club and Mountaineering club this year. There is at least one social every week for these two alone. There are plenty of non-sporting equivolents here too. Whatever you like - there will be others with the same tastes at uni. Anime soc, poker soc, etc etc. And if it doesn't exist - MAKE IT!
Door open is a good thing.
I also spent a lot of time in my first year hangning in the communal kitchen - everyone uses it and you'll end up chatting about all sorts as the occupants drift in and out.
Get phone numbers, give phone number. If you want to be included in stuff, people need to be able to contact you when that great Idea of having trolley races down the booze isle comes up.
Set stuff up. Plenty of people like watching films - so offer to put a laptop playing something in a suitable space, be it your room or the kitchen etc and see if anyone fancies joining in. Also - can be done with sit-coms etc if the mood and like exists.
Get involved. Even outside your comfort zone. I am not very good at this myself - though it has had many good results in the past.