The Ghost Upstairs -- Original song based on Long Day's Journey Into Night

joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
edited March 2009 in Artist's Corner
Please let me know what you think of this song I wrote for my American Literature class. I am well aware the recording isn't the greatest, what I'm more interested in is if the composition is good. Most of the instruments are finalized but due to latency need to be moved into their place so they line up correctly. The vocals are scratch tracks.

Here's the song.

As I said in the OP title, it's a creative response based off of Long Day's Journey Into Night.

Here are the lyrics:


The days are long
But the nights are endless
There's a sound that keeps her awake
In the fog you'll hide
Where no one can witness
Or point fingers at your mistake

And from above a sound will wear out your resolve

And it goes

Ooh, ooh, ooh

There's a ghost upstairs in the spare bedroom
And she's wailing for her dreams gone by
We could just pretend that it don't exist
But she's playing that piano and she's
Acting like she has already died

So take a pull
On that bottle of whiskey
Forget the ghost that is your spouse
To take all the blame
Is far too risky
There's more than one kind of spirit in this house


Thanks for the feedback in advance.

joshofalltrades on

Posts

  • NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited March 2009
    I like it, mostly it sounds good (I was going to comment about the mixing on the vocal tracks until I reread your post).

    A small critique, the lyrics in the verses seem, I don't know, a bit blocky. The Chorus is good though. The verses just don't have the same flow.

    All in all it's good though.

    NotASenator on
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    edited March 2009
    Yeah, I have a tendency to shoehorn lyrics into verses for some reason. It's too late for me to retry it with this piece (due Tuesday) but maybe I'll try again after all is said and done. I'm generally happy with the work which is why I need new ears, I guess.

    joshofalltrades on
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