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I think I fucked up and put everyone into a world of hurt.
EliteLamer
__BANNED USERS regular
__BANNED USERS regular
Yeah it is over a girl that likes me. Pretty much I knew this girl liked me but I wanted to just chill with her and see what I think. Cause I really don't know her at all and I just don't know. I am so confused if I want to date this girl or not. Anyways I went out last night to chill with her and some friends. While there one of her friends ask me if I like her and I didn't know what to say really. Was not really a no or yes question for me but spur of the moment I said yes. Well of course they go off into the bathroom together and have a little chat. Anyways now I feel like I am locked into this...
SEGA
EliteLamer on
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"Will you be my boyfriend"
"No"
"But you said you like me"
"I like milk too, but I'm not fucking it."
Learn to say no to people if you have no want to be together. If you want something salvageable feel free to toss in a "Not right now."
Second of all, who knows, going on a date could be fun. First dates usually don't mean a whole lot, and they are certainly not something to get incredibly worried about like this.
Deep breath.
Then deal with the consequences of your actions. This is a better skill in the long run.
I think you need to step back and gain a little perspective here man.
Didn't mean to title it like that but wasn't sure what to call it.
I pretty much know if she gets hurt over this I am going to lose some friends.
Exactly....
How old are you? I thought this kinda shit happened in HS at a "parents gone for the weekend" party.
Critical Failures - Havenhold Campaign • August St. Cloud (Human Ranger)
Who is in control here, them or you? You don't have to do anything you don't want. Do the stuff at your own pace and don't be afraid to let them know that you have a backbone.
There are plenty of people I like that I don't really have any interest in dating. Did she ask you on a date? Did you ask her on a date? No? I don't see where the problem is, and I don't see why anyone should be hurting.
I mean really.
Just stop.
Take her on a date. Or don't. You're crippled by considering infinite "what if" situations.
This is what you have to deal with, so pony up and deal with it.
The only way to win in this type of scenario is to be honest.
Don't do anything you don't want to do. If someone says "why don't you ask her out, I thought you liked her" you say "none of your damn business." or that you aren't looking for a relationship, or that you don't want to ruin the friendship or upset the group dynamic.
What you DON'T do is ask her out, date for two years, propose, get married, have kids, and eventually divorce all because you turn to jelly when you get put on the spot.
Holy shit thats it. I love the chase more than anything and now there is none
:^:
Just make sure you get a prenup. Unless she is rich, then don't let her talk you into signing one. Or do sign it. I don't know what you're looking to get out of this relationship.
The men and women I work with are equally as bad, if not worse, about high-school dating drama. I can attest to this comment.
Ditto.
I guess it breathes life into their otherwise dull lives.
Couple options (there are many more, your not trapped)
1. You don't want outside pressure from friends to affect how the relationship develops but you'd like to get to know her better (go on first date)
2. Your not ready for a serious relationship and it wouldn't be fair to risk ruining the friendship (girls say stuff like this all day long, no reason you can't use it)
Bowen's lines are hilarious, but run a high risk of getting you slapped :P
Another problem solved. Good work team. :^:
I have been slapped twice by a girl.
You should look into that.
I think his problem is forethought not social interaction. Think about what you are going to say/do before say/do it Elite. You will avoid a lot of problems that way.
I think this would solve 99% of the threads he starts here.
I agree. I don't handle things well when it comes to social things.
Yeah the problem is I used to be like that. I didn't say much at all. I rather say everything that comes to mind than nothing at all.
True. But a part of social interaction is not agreeing to something you don't agree with. And also not getting slapped. It's not hard to go through life not getting slapped.
let alone twice.
Oh yeah I know and people some people hate me for it. I have had 3 people say I act exactly like dwight from The office. American version... I think it is funny as fuck because of how much of an asshole he is to people.
What do you mean. You used to say too much and piss people off?
Sometimes, or I would just go out of my to super polite and wind up annoying people that way too, or I would just panic and start saying the first thing that came to mind and then I was thought of as an attention whore. After all of that I would lock up (socially) and not speak unless spoken to.
Like I said I have a hard time with just about every aspect of social interaction and I had to sit down and literally study other people to find out what I was doing wrong. After which I just imagined a social encounter as action, reaction. I guess another way of putting it is "I learned the weight of my words."
Wow that sounds like me but I have not been super polite guy in a long time because for me this is far better. Being like this has attracted girls too. If I was just the guy that sat in the corner then how would I get girls.
Did some really bad stuff happen before you found a balance?
No. I just had no friends.
Edit: I should probably clarify:
I had no friends and I was tired of being "the weird guy who sits by himself and doesn't talk to anyone."
You'd be surprised what you can get away with saying so long as: you phrase it right, you don't say it angrily, you smile, and you don't get all defensive if people get offended by what you say or call you out on something stupid/ignorant/insensitive you just said.