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Guy troubles ( *Solved* )
Talkc
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I know some of you are looking at my previous thread and think im crazy.
Thats fine. But this is the situation im in.
Sunday evening i met Howie. Cute guy, likes a lot of the same things... sweet guy.
For 2 years ive known this waiter. We will call him Dustin. He called me up last night asked if i wanted breakfast today.
Howie is an average looking nerd. Dustin is a gorgeous black haired fem.
Me and howie both like science channel. Me and Dustin both like food network.
I had breakfast with Dustin this morning. It ended with a kiss.
Howie instant messaged me and asked if i wanted to go bowling, just me and him... i accepted. I go friday.
Dustin is coming over for dinner sunday.
Trouble is, i dont find it morally acceptable to date both of them, and both have made it clear their intntions are to date.
But who do i choose? The gorgous beautiful skilled guy? Or the geekish nerd who i play DnD with?
Im leaning towards beauty. Does that make me shallow?
Another difference... Howie is a year younger than me... Dustin is 4 years older. Howie is in college, Dustin is a professional waiter.
What should i do? Any tips on how to make this decision?
Please refrain from commentary on my emotional or mental ability to be in a relationship.
Thats fine. But this is the situation im in.
Sunday evening i met Howie. Cute guy, likes a lot of the same things... sweet guy.
For 2 years ive known this waiter. We will call him Dustin. He called me up last night asked if i wanted breakfast today.
Howie is an average looking nerd. Dustin is a gorgeous black haired fem.
Me and howie both like science channel. Me and Dustin both like food network.
I had breakfast with Dustin this morning. It ended with a kiss.
Howie instant messaged me and asked if i wanted to go bowling, just me and him... i accepted. I go friday.
Dustin is coming over for dinner sunday.
Trouble is, i dont find it morally acceptable to date both of them, and both have made it clear their intntions are to date.
But who do i choose? The gorgous beautiful skilled guy? Or the geekish nerd who i play DnD with?
Im leaning towards beauty. Does that make me shallow?
Another difference... Howie is a year younger than me... Dustin is 4 years older. Howie is in college, Dustin is a professional waiter.
What should i do? Any tips on how to make this decision?
Please refrain from commentary on my emotional or mental ability to be in a relationship.
Talkc on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Just eventually, one or both are going to want you more and more often, thus you are going to have to make a choice. Either one, or none.
I'm not going to tell you which guy I think you should go with. I don't know you or them well enough.
I know it's hard to quantify, but who do you like more?
We aren't qualified to tell you who you should be dating.
If you are going to do this, make sure they don't know about the other, there is something called jealousy that can make people violent.
There's no valid reason you can't date both of them. The first one who gets pissy about you socializing independently with two different men, however innocent, is probably the one you want to be wary of, and my money is on that it will be Dustin.
we also talk about other random shit and clown upon each other
Eh, in regards to relationships and dating I'd give the same advice as if it were hetero. Same emotions involved and all of that...
Only you know who you really want to be with and no amount of suggestions will change your thoughts on the matter.
In the end you will choose who has more in common with you, who you get along with more and who matches more of what you are looking for.
It's not shallow to go for looks. Being attracted to a partner is important in any relationship. If you aren't attracted physically, then you likely won't be 100% into it for the duration of the relationship.
But, that said, if the person has a personality that you can't get along with or you despise then even the best looks wont save them.
You've got a choice, make sure to put some thought into it. You might not get a chance at both if one goes bad.
My 2c
This is pretty much the worst advice. Immoral and a sure way to ruin both relationships.
Traditionally, people dated multiple suitors before settling on somebody. Alternatively, many people enjoy serious and committed relationships with multiple partners. The OP has expressed a preference for monogamy even at the casual level.
on the one hand you'll definitely know him better at this point but is dating him worth risking your relationship that you have right now?
if you aren't afraid that it will end horribly then date him and tell the other guy you plan on hanging out a bit more with him before you start dating him (and are also dating someone else at the moment) and let him know you want to get to know him better
The light wonderful tone of his voice.... the way he called me Sug ( short for sugar ). And the delight in his voice when he said he was so glad we finally hooked up.
So i called howie. Told him id still go bowling, but id prefer if dave and others came... he asked "no longer a date?" And i told him i just connected with Dustin.
He said cool.. and then said "THAT DUSTIN!?!??" He congratulated me.
So that felt good. Problem solved... thanks everyone.
Please don't jump to conclusions, I am not teaching him how to be immoral, or how to destroy anything.
In addition, you recognise that many people have dated multiple suitors. People are complicated, I just don't want drama like the ones I have seen in cops.