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getting over inconsequential theft

SamSam Registered User regular
edited April 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
today i spent quite a bit of time at a coffee house working on a paper.
First theft- a 72 year old-looking man swiped a fresh pack of cigarettes. I'd left them on a table outside because i was sitting out there with them and went in to get a cup of coffee. this happened in the space of less than 5 minutes.

Second was my laptop charger. I'd left it where I was working and took my charged laptop out with me to sit and work outside for a bit.

Guess what happened.

I was left with a nearly completed paper to submit and no battery, and someone took the charger.

A fucking charger. I'm inclined to believe that this was done out of spite. Who the fuck needs to steal a charger? do you need to be stealing if you can afford a macbook?

I seriously think whoever did it did so to jeopardize my work and screw me over. There's really no point in swiping a charger, none that I can think of.

Here's the thing. I have a spare charger at home. I managed to find a girl nice enough to let me juice my dead laptop back to life so I could finish and submit my work. I bought another pack.

So why am I ruminating over this and constantly thinking about ending that decrepit old fuck's over extended life? and the same goes for the charger thief.

Sam on

Posts

  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Don't fucking leave your stuff out there if it's getting nicked.

    People who steal often steal just for the thrill of it. Doesn't matter if it's worth much.

    DarkPrimus on
  • FagatronFagatron Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Stop leaving your shit lying around all over the place so you don't have to deal with it again in the future I guess?

    Fagatron on
  • wasted pixelswasted pixels Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Sam wrote: »
    A fucking charger. I'm inclined to believe that this was done out of spite. Who the fuck needs to steal a charger? do you need to be stealing if you can afford a macbook?

    I'm assuming this was a 60w MagSafe charger? If it's any consolation, they stole it because those things sell for $60 used, not for spite.

    wasted pixels on
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    You're beating yourself up because you only have yourself to blame. You may think otherwise, but your brain is telling you so.

    Just take the experience and learn not to leave anything that you feel that you can't live without unattended.

    Seattle Thread on
    kofz2amsvqm3.png
  • FightTestFightTest Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Another in the ring of "stop leaving your shit unattended."

    FightTest on
    MOBA DOTA.
  • Stevie2SxcStevie2Sxc __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    I think the lesson here is not about how to kill the elderly thief and the charger-swiping person, but it's more about how not to leave all your shit lying round in plain sight of people that could steal it. If you leave something that sells for $60 lying around, odds are somebody is going to grab it. Think dude

    Stevie2Sxc on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • BlindZenDriverBlindZenDriver Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Go to a nicer place. Seriously something like this does not happen everywhere.

    BlindZenDriver on
    Bones heal, glory is forever.
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm sorry your stuff got stolen, but you were asking for it.

    I just find it really strange someone would leave stuff laying all over a coffee shop. I wouldn't even consider the cigarettes a theft since they were left outside, unattended. The power adapter was theft, but just one of opportunity. They may have known what is was ,or they may have just seen your shiny Apple product and decided they wanted it.

    Probably not the H/A you were looking for, and no, it shouldn't happen, but it does so I'd start keeping a closer watch on your stuff in public.

    MichaelLC on
  • SpongeCakeSpongeCake Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I'm pretty sure the OP is after advice on how to deal with the emotional frustration he's feeling about getting his things stolen, not advice on how to stop getting his things stolen, which let's face it is pretty damn obvious.

    To the OP, I was in a pretty similar situation a while back where I was the victim of a petty assault, rather than theft and the feeling of personal indignation was so much greater than any physical damage or any concerns for my safety. I was furious for days that these people would just randomly assault a complete stranger for no reason. I went over the event again and again in my head, each time getting angrier and more incensed about what had happened.
    You say in your post that this happened today, so let me assure that you will get over it. You'll be pissed for a while probably, but that's perfectly natural. Make sure you realise that whoever did this wasn't doing it out of spite against you personally - one of the reasons people are able to carry out random acts of theft and violence is precisely because they don't think of the effect it will have on the victim.

    This wasn't an attack aimed at you, it was a randomly fired shot which hit you mostly out of bad luck. Talk it over with your friends and family, have a few cathartic rants and leave it a few days.

    This is natural and it will pass.

    SpongeCake on
  • RazielRaziel Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    ^ Seconded.

    Realize that you weren't victimized because of who you are, but rather because you presented a very clear opportunity. Do something to vent this frustration, but you have to realize that it's an isolated incident and as long as you're careful it won't happen again. Try and find the humour.

    Raziel on
    Read the mad blog-rantings of a manic hack writer here.

    Thank you, Rubacava!
  • saltinesssaltiness Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Buy a new pack of cigarettes and a new charger and get over it. Also, get over yourself. This isn't a conspiracy, people steal shit all the time.

    saltiness on
    XBL: heavenkils
  • KeyScourgeKeyScourge __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    Theft happens every day. Several million times a day. If everyone that had a pack of fags nicked came on a forum and bitched and moaned about it we wouldn't ever talk about anything else. Hell I had my damn cigar case pick-pocketed from me on Oxford Street yesterday, but i'm not making threads about "how to deal with it". You said you've got a backup charger, yes? Then the charger nicking is totally unnaffective of you. And is it so damn hard to spring a couple of quid (or dollars) for a new pack of fags? No!

    Sorry if this seems harsh but I've been innendated with messages from a friend of mine about his iPod being stolen today, so I've not got a great deal of sympathy for people that bitch and moan about stuff getting stolen.

    In short: It happens. Get the fuck over it!

    KeyScourge on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Don't ever leave your stuff lying around. The kind of people who steal things like that have no remorse, may well be doing it entirely out of spite, and will continue to victimize you if you're not super careful.

    I just keep all my shit on me at all times and try to report or stop any thievery I see. And that's really all you can do.

    Fandyien on
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  • ThylacineThylacine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    My cell phone was stolen a few days ago. I was pretty irritated and frustrated about it that day(well, the next day when I realized it was gone for good), but you just replace your shit and move on.

    It's also likely that if you just left your stuff in those places unattended, someone felt they had been forgotten. I think it's easier for people to rationalize stealing if they think someone left something behind. "Well, someone lost this...there's no name on it. They probably wouldn't find it anyway. I guess I might as well take it."

    I wouldn't even call the cigarettes theft...they are such an insignificant amount of money in the grand scheme of things that the old guy probably thought someone forgot or lost them, and they're so cheap that it honestly isn't worth the effort of going back and searching where you've been for them.

    Did you leave anything else with your items to make people think they were attended? Individual items with nothing else around them are much easier to assume they've been forgotten.

    Thylacine on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    A pack of cigarettes isn't an inconsequential amount of money anymore. Which is probably why that dude stole them.

    Fandyien on
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  • TarantioTarantio Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    One theory, for you to take or leave, is that you've been programmed to not get over this sort of thing by ages of social evolution. You want to kick the old man out of your village, and it would probably be better for you if you never interacted with this person again. Aside from maybe getting your charger back somehow.

    If this helps you understand why you are bothered, perhaps it will also help you to let it go.

    (Yeah, and don't leave your things unattended. And don't smoke.)

    Tarantio on
  • ascannerlightlyascannerlightly Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    did you check with the employees of said coffee house? someone might have seen it and picked it up to turn in to them to avoid it's being stolen. i do this all the time with cellphones. i won't personally expend the effort to track down the owner but i also won't just leave it there to get stolen, either.

    ascannerlightly on
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  • oldsakoldsak Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    You can't get over itt because having shit stolen sucks. I'm going to agree with others and say leaving stuff unattended outside while you go inside is not the smartest thing to do, but it's not necessarily flat out stupid. It really depends on the place. First of all I wouldn't leave anything terribly valuable visibly out, but next time you have to step away for a quick minute, ask someone who looks settled to keep an eye on your stuff.

    oldsak on
  • ThylacineThylacine Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    A pack of cigarettes isn't an inconsequential amount of money anymore. Which is probably why that dude stole them.

    I still think it's fairly inconsequential. What are they now, $5-6 bucks? It's annoying, but it doesn't hurt the bank if you can afford to buy them in the first place. I still don't even know if I'd call it theft if the guy just thought someone left them behind. I doubt the guy was going out of his way to steal or hurt the OP...he probably just didn't think about the OP much. It doesn't make things much better, and it was inconsiderate of him...but I don't think it was a malicious act.

    Thylacine on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Do you want our advice on how to de-construct whatever faith in humanity you may have? Or on how to avoid this happening in the future?

    Look, there are petty, malicious, selfish, and mentally-ill people all over the place. If it's any consolation, these folks probably didn't do it specifically to spite you, they're most likely completely indifferent to your existence, if they were even thinking of anything beyond their own immediate desires.

    If you have property you care about, don't leave it laying around in public places where you don't know and trust and everyone likely to be there.

    Corvus on
    :so_raven:
  • illigillig Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    i don't understand why you'd leave your stuff unattended? anything that has any value (i.e. anything but your partially chewed food, written on-paper, or used tissues) will grow legs and walk off if you leave it unattended long enough in any public place

    i still laugh at idiots who leave brand new laptops unattended while they use the bathroom at starbucks

    illig on
  • jdig79jdig79 Registered User new member
    edited April 2009
    Most of these replies are nonsense (although a few of you, like SpongeCake, actually do get it). Someone said that the OP has only himself to blame - WRONG! Whatever happened to "don't steal"? The thief is the one at fault here, and the OP has every right to be pissed off. No one "asks" to be treated poorly - I don't care how easy it is to victimize someone. Don't do it! Use your intellect, and override your gut-level animal instinct to prey upon those weaker than yourself.

    The OP does not need to "get over" himself. Also, "get the fuck over it" does not work because everyone has pride. You really think that anyone with any fragment of self-respect will accept a vicious verbal lashing like that? No!

    A better thought to have is that, one of these days, the thief/thieves will likely get thrown in jail and/or punched in the face for their thefts. What comes around goes around, as they say. Who knows, it just might happen.

    And one would have to be sick to find any humour in this.

    jdig79 on
  • saltinesssaltiness Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    jdig79 wrote: »
    Most of these replies are nonsense (although a few of you, like SpongeCake, actually do get it). Someone said that the OP has only himself to blame - WRONG! Whatever happened to "don't steal"? The thief is the one at fault here, and the OP has every right to be pissed off. No one "asks" to be treated poorly - I don't care how easy it is to victimize someone. Don't do it! Use your intellect, and override your gut-level animal instinct to prey upon those weaker than yourself.

    The OP does not need to "get over" himself. Also, "get the fuck over it" does not work because everyone has pride. You really think that anyone with any fragment of self-respect will accept a vicious verbal lashing like that? No!

    A better thought to have is that, one of these days, the thief/thieves will likely get thrown in jail and/or punched in the face for their thefts. What comes around goes around, as they say. Who knows, it just might happen.

    And one would have to be sick to find any humour in this.

    Where did you buy those glasses? That rosey tint is just lovely.

    saltiness on
    XBL: heavenkils
  • Al_watAl_wat Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    This is how I deal with shit like this. Most recently when my car fucked up, leaving me with $1500 worth of repairs and a few weeks without it.

    First of all you have to accept personal responsibility for what happened. Second of all, learn from your mistakes and don't let yourself down in the future.

    When bad things happen you can either feel bad about it, or learn from it.

    Lesson: don't be so forgetful; and don't treat a public domain like it is your own.

    Al_wat on
  • Penguin_OtakuPenguin_Otaku Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Haven't read all of the replies, but I can see where the OP is coming from. I leave stuff around and out when I'm going to be just a bit away. I'm sorry man, you just gotta keep on going. I had my car busted out and my cellphone charge and some other minor things stolen and it scared me.

    I still leave my door unlocked to my apartment and my car for the most part though. I don't know. I can't imagine being stolen from or anything and if I am, well the person obviously needed it more than me.

    Penguin_Otaku on
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  • LiquidSquidLiquidSquid Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I still leave my door unlocked to my apartment and my car for the most part though. I don't know. I can't imagine being stolen from or anything and if I am, well the person obviously needed it more than me.

    No offense man, but I can't imagine my house catching fire, and I still own smoke alarms.

    LiquidSquid on
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I still leave my door unlocked to my apartment and my car for the most part though. I don't know. I can't imagine being stolen from or anything and if I am, well the person obviously needed it more than me.

    No offense man, but I can't imagine my house catching fire, and I still own smoke alarms.

    I have C02/smoke detectors, but I use an electric stove and live on the 4th floor.

    No, stuff shouldn't be stolen, but leaving your door open is asking for it. I have a wireless router at home that has WEP. I know it's not strong security, but someone would have to choose to break into it to get access. Leaving your door open is inviting someone to take your stuff, just like having an open network.

    MichaelLC on
  • KidDynamiteKidDynamite Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Man... I feel you.

    I stupidly left my car unlocked one morning after working super early and getting back home around 7:30 am. Probably just tired and didn't think about it.

    Some stupid crackhead rifled through the entire thing.

    What did they take?
    My gym bag full of kung fu pads, and boxing gloves. That I had sweated and worked out in for over 3 years. I can't imagine the thought process that resulted in the decision to take them. Not worth a whole lot but just replacing it all is a hassle. That had duct tape and everything. Or the other time my GF's car was broken into and they took her tanning stuff (lotion, glasses) I mean really WTF?

    so yeah, I hate thieves alot.

    KidDynamite on
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