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stupid bullshit in my crew of friends
DarkSymphony
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
long story short:
someone called a friend of mine and left a pretty aweful message on her voicemail. Now, one of the people (out of 3 on the message) sounded vaguely like me. However it was not me and I am now in the process of making this information into proof. I have alibies for my whereabouts from when the call was made and it was a general opinion that the message is something completely uncharacteristic of me.
enter the shitty friends part.
they assumed it was me right off the bat because it sounded like me sort-of. (same speech mannerisms different pitch in voice). I am now fighting to prove my innocence to people who are flat out refusing to use logic and reason to deduce a problem/situation. The girl the message was said to has apologized and realized the error of her ways. Her 2 friends she was with when she got it have not seen things this way. I've used my best ammo in terms of defense and proof to no avail. They are simply ignoring the severe magnitude of reasons why it wasn't me (uncharacteristic of me, I have alibies, the number that called is not mine nor do I know who the hell it actually was that did call, I'd have nothing to gain in any manner, etc.).
my only real problem is that I want I'm not sure what I should do at this point. I've made my point and given several very believable and extremely logical reasons as to why I wasn't involved.
would it be right to outright demand apologies for such an insult to my integrity?
someone called a friend of mine and left a pretty aweful message on her voicemail. Now, one of the people (out of 3 on the message) sounded vaguely like me. However it was not me and I am now in the process of making this information into proof. I have alibies for my whereabouts from when the call was made and it was a general opinion that the message is something completely uncharacteristic of me.
enter the shitty friends part.
they assumed it was me right off the bat because it sounded like me sort-of. (same speech mannerisms different pitch in voice). I am now fighting to prove my innocence to people who are flat out refusing to use logic and reason to deduce a problem/situation. The girl the message was said to has apologized and realized the error of her ways. Her 2 friends she was with when she got it have not seen things this way. I've used my best ammo in terms of defense and proof to no avail. They are simply ignoring the severe magnitude of reasons why it wasn't me (uncharacteristic of me, I have alibies, the number that called is not mine nor do I know who the hell it actually was that did call, I'd have nothing to gain in any manner, etc.).
my only real problem is that I want I'm not sure what I should do at this point. I've made my point and given several very believable and extremely logical reasons as to why I wasn't involved.
would it be right to outright demand apologies for such an insult to my integrity?
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Don't sounds much like friends to me. It's one thing to play it up a little, but since you sound pretty upset and obviously don't want anyone to think it was you, they've carried it too far. You're sure they're not just stringing you on?
If you are this bothered by them, state it once (and only once) that either they beleive you, or you're done with them.
Thank you, Rubacava!
If it comes up in conversation again, I'd just simply tell them once again that it wasn't you and leave it at that. An apology isn't going to change much at this point, but I'd be certainly remembering what these people have said and I wouldn't be trusting them with anything important in the future.
The easiest thing to do would be to simply IGNORE them, i mean completely. Give it a few days/weeks and they will come to you themselves and apologize(hopefully). Just don't demand an apology. That might just aggravate the situation.
I'm so angry about the simple fact that, these 2 girls are ignoring ALL the logical reasoning. How can someone sit there with extremely good evidence and just say "no" to it all?
it all started when one of the 3 girls involved with this whole thing told me I was uninvited to a party we're all having and that she couldn't tell me why (fucking retarded thing to say). I had to sleuth my way into it and find out what happened through numerous other people. When I finally found out what happened (and yes, the message that was left actually was pretty terrible for a few reasons outside the obvious) I mentioned to them that I couldn't possibly help *them* figure anything out, if they didn't tell me and that there was no reason to have hidden it from me.
In any case. They've insulted my integrity and have shown me that they do not trust me.
Yes they have insulted you and your integrity and it's a horrible thing for people who you thought were your friends to do. The fact that they couldn't be up front about why you weren't invited to the party (or address the issue directly to you) just proves everything that has been said so far in this thread.
What you have to realise is that it's okay to be angry and pissed off. I've also learnt from experience that it's pointless to keep harping on the apology route because it's not going to be satisfying at all, they would be apologising to appease you and not because they've learnt anything from it. What you need to do take what you now know about these people and run with that. You know they aren't good people, they can't be up front with you and they can't be trusted, so as I said before now you know, you can do something about it or begin finding people that you can trust and rely on when you need to.
Go to the search function here and query for "ebay paypal scam?," with Help/Advice Forum selected as the Forum. Go ahead, I'll wait....
Don't stress about it anymore, it's not worth your time to figure these people out. They're not going to change.
I'm just so pissed and I wouldn't normally be this furiously pissed off if it weren't for a couple of reasons. Me and the girl that got the call had a slight argument from a party the previous week about something else that involved other people. We talked a few days later and decided it was stupid to be mad at each other over something that seriously just doesn't matter. We have also hung out since this time period and had great times with each others company. I had specifically taken a week or 2 off from seeing this crowd of friends and I had expressed to them (before this message was given) that the reason was because I wanted arguments to chill out and people to come back after a small break away from each other. We had hung out and partied so much as a group that things we wearing thin. So, at the end of this break from the crowd is when I get the alarming news that I had made this phone call and left the message during my interim break.
that's what really confused me. I had no part of this and they seriously had the lack of foresight to realize I'm the last person out of anyone we know that would do something like that. The thing that was said has never once been said by me to another human being.
I honestly thought they would have automatically assumed it wasn't me because of my statement above. In any case, I agree that from this point forward these are going to be people I cannot trust and that have shown me such poor decision making and lack of judgement.
sorry for making such a bitch thread about this. I'm just really fucking angry.
Beyond that, I'd just stay away from these people. It's hard to do sometimes, I mean I'm 21 and I'm just learning that drama is so...tiring and that you should cut dramatic people out of your life (this being the hardest part). Don't worry about them anymore, you know you didn't do it and you're not being sent to jail over this.
If the girl who got the call believes you, she should put in a word to her other friends to STFU and stop pulling childish acts such as "You're not invited to our party and I can't tell you why".
They'd still say "no". People are going to believe only what they choose to believe. You could present any proof, even travel in the past with them and show them where you were, they're STILL going to say it was you.
I know you deserve an apology, but this is real life, and not an ideal world. The best you can do is deal with it. Now you know the 2 friends of that girls are not good people, and certainly not to be trusted for anything. Move on with your life armed with this new knowledge.
EDIT: If the girl who got the call believes you, that's all you need. She's the only victim of the voicemail, and that she knows you didn't do it is good. She's the only person you really had to prove yourself to (well, actually, you had to prove yourself to nobody if you didn't do it, but she's the only one you should feel you have to prove yourself to).
That is it right there:!:
I don't mean to be sexist but in my experience logic and the fair sex is not sometimes like oil and water. On the up side that usually mean they are more in touch with their feelings and more sensitive to the people around them. However once in a while it is really bad.
Just move on and remember who is really your friends.
Also, if it wasn't you, and people won't believe that, then they've pretty much shown you they're not your friends.
get used to it
I had an argument with one of the 2 girls at a party recently and within a few days after that, we got things settled, hung out and had a good time. Fast forward a week after me and that girl got back into good times and she gets the call while I'm out with my buddies drinking and playing magic the gathering. The buddies I was with are the kind who wouldn't even allow a friend to make a call like that without disowning them.
So since I don't know 100% of everything and neither do they (none of us know who the people who called are), my assumption is these 2 kids know her from class or through another friend. They thought it was me because it sounded like me and I happen to know 2 people with their first name. On the message, they said their names (ryan and nick something). I know both a Ryan and a Nick. they are in my band. The thing is, the number was a Burlington, VT number and not a North Hero, VT number (which is where the nick and Ryan I know, are from).
Didn't OP say he had all this proof that it wasn't him, and his problem is that these girls are being dumb?
Anyway OP, fuck em. The main one knows it wasn't you, so just let it go.
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the dust has settled on this situation. My name is cleared, I left them to apologize should they so feel the need and (being that they haven't) I can now move forward. They no longer have my trust and the 2 side people involved no longer have my friendship.
Problem solved. Thanks for the info, I just needed help in figuring out what to do past that point and I agree they are just not worth being that involved with.
Exactly what proof does he have? The only one mentioned was an alibi that he was out drinking with friends, but that's a good alibi for a murder case not a phone call.
I can see those girls being suspicious if the evidence seems flimsy and circumstantial to them. Was there anything else to the defense? Did they catch the number that called in (i.e. is it listed on the phone bills or whatnot)?
Edit: Oh well cutting them off without convincing them is another solution. Disregard the post.
In what respect?
You answered your own question, really. If they don't believe you there's not much you can do. Also there's no need to "defend" yourself over something you did not do.
So. No more defening yourself, more questioning why the fuck they're being so completely antagonistic over a fucking voice mail. Or just ignore them.