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Solved.

WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
edited November 2011 in Help / Advice Forum
Solved.

Wezoin on
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Posts

  • TroubledTomTroubledTom regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    So me and this girl have been having sex since the summer... Always used condoms. Every time after I've squeezed the condom to see if I could find any leaks, and I haven't found any.

    We had sex about 2 weeks ago, and her period was due 7 days ago. I hadn't heard anything about it until just tonight, and she said she's late, and she's freaking out. I told her tommorow we'd go get her a test, and that I'm sure it's nothing.

    So bassically, I wanna know, what are the chances shes pregnant? And how can I calm her down?

    If the condom didn't break, then it's unlikely that you got her pregnant. Nothing is going to make her/you feel better besides a test though. Has she been with any other guys in the last 2 weeks?

    TroubledTom on
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  • DynamiteKidDynamiteKid Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Firstly, calm her down? Do you not need calming yourself? When this happened to me I could have literally shat myself.

    Okay that probably didn't help, so advice.

    As far as calming her down, I'm not sure there's much you can do. Just be with her. Go with her to get the test, wait outside the door as she does it, hold her as you wait to see if it's positive or negative. Be there.

    As far as calming yourself down, just try not to think about it until the time.

    The chances, I don't know about, and frankly it's not really relevant because it'll make no difference to what the result ends up being. Clearly it's enough of a concern for you to get a test, and that's all you need to know really.

    If you can get one positive you can get out of this experience, make it that you will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER have unprotected sex unless trying for a baby. I realise you didn't have unprotected sex in the first place, but this way you pretty much have a guarantee.

    DynamiteKid on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Thanks guys, and yes, I am freaking a little bit, just because she was like "I think I might be pregnant" but then I rationalised it all and realised theres pretty much no way. The test is bassically just to calm her down, because I'm already pretty sure theres no way.

    Wezoin on
  • st0ned messiahst0ned messiah Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    The chances are incredibly slim. Even if they were high worrying now won't accomplish anything. The best thing you can do is just stay calm yourself and go get a test with her. You being calm will help her. There are tons of reasons that a period can be late (or missed altogether) and the test will help things a lot.

    st0ned messiah on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Next question, if it turns out she is pregnant, whats the best way to abort it without having to let our parents know? (we're in canada, if that makes any difference)

    Wezoin on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Next question, if it turns out she is pregnant, whats the best way to abort it without having to let our parents know? (we're in canada, if that makes any difference)
    I'm sure Canada probably has some version of Planned Parenthood (very possibly just Planned Parenthood) you can go to, who can advise you on what you should do next.

    Thanatos on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Thanatos wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    Next question, if it turns out she is pregnant, whats the best way to abort it without having to let our parents know? (we're in canada, if that makes any difference)
    I'm sure Canada probably has some version of Planned Parenthood (very possibly just Planned Parenthood) you can go to, who can advise you on what you should do next.

    They can advise on how to abort and stuff?

    Wezoin on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Thanatos wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    Next question, if it turns out she is pregnant, whats the best way to abort it without having to let our parents know? (we're in canada, if that makes any difference)
    I'm sure Canada probably has some version of Planned Parenthood (very possibly just Planned Parenthood) you can go to, who can advise you on what you should do next.
    They can advise on how to abort and stuff?
    They can advise on all of your options. It's what they do.

    Thanatos on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?

    Wezoin on
  • JakeSJakeS Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?

    This could also just be her nerves, my guess is that it is on her mind a lot right now and she's really nervous about what could be. I know I've been in situations where myself or others were so nervous they pretty much made themselves sick.

    JakeS on
  • ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    JakeS wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?
    This could also just be her nerves, my guess is that it is on her mind a lot right now and she's really nervous about what could be. I know I've been in situations where myself or others were so nervous they pretty much made themselves sick.
    This is much more likely.

    While I'm no expert, I really, really don't think people get morning sickness within a week of conception.

    Thanatos on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Is it possible that shes got some illness that is responsible for both the sickeness and the late period?

    Corvus on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Corvus wrote:
    Is it possible that shes got some illness that is responsible for both the sickeness and the late period?

    Actually, yeah, I seem to remember her complaining about feeling sick alot a little while ago...

    Wezoin on
  • st0ned messiahst0ned messiah Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?

    No. This is not morning sickness.

    st0ned messiah on
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  • Mr_RoseMr_Rose 83 Blue Ridge Protects the Holy Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Thanatos wrote:
    While I'm no expert, I really, really don't think people get morning sickness within a week of conception.
    whilst that is unlikely, three to four weeks is entirely possible and what seems to be the time fram..MetaEDIT: going back and re-reading, it seems that we are actually talking about two weeks, not three, silly me...

    However, I would like to point out that the timing of morning sickness is more or less completely random and is more to do with the genetics of the mother than actually being pregnant, in that some mothers get it really early, some don't get it until the third trimester (very rare) and a number just don't get morning sickness at all. Similarly, some women can experience symptoms similar to morning sickness when they start on the pill/change the dosage of their pill... Has your girlfriend recently started on the pill?

    Mr_Rose on
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  • mooshoeporkmooshoepork Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    the sick thing is just her being stressed. Same thing happened with my girlfriend.

    mooshoepork on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Mr_Rose wrote:
    Thanatos wrote:
    While I'm no expert, I really, really don't think people get morning sickness within a week of conception.
    whilst that is unlikely, three to four weeks is entirely possible and what seems to be the time fram..MetaEDIT: going back and re-reading, it seems that we are actually talking about two weeks, not three, silly me...

    However, I would like to point out that the timing of morning sickness is more or less completely random and is more to do with the genetics of the mother than actually being pregnant, in that some mothers get it really early, some don't get it until the third trimester (very rare) and a number just don't get morning sickness at all. Similarly, some women can experience symptoms similar to morning sickness when they start on the pill/change the dosage of their pill... Has your girlfriend recently started on the pill?

    Nope, only protection we use is a condom.

    Wezoin on
  • bone daddybone daddy Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?
    If she's not pregnant, which is probably the case, she should speak to a gynecologist asap. There may be something like cysts going on that should be checked out.

    bone daddy on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    bone daddy wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    Just got some more info apparently she woke up about 5AM, with sharp pain in her stomach/side/abdomen, almost threw up, and felt really sick.

    Is that what morning sickness is like? Is it at all possible this would be a good reason to believe she may be pregnant?
    If she's not pregnant, which is probably the case, she should speak to a gynecologist asap. There may be something like cysts going on that should be checked out.

    I'm actually pretty sure that this pain is the only reason she even considered she might be pregnant... Anyway, I guess the reason you consider it doesn't really matter as once you do you'll freak out until you take the test (which she's doing tommorow on her work break.)

    Wezoin on
  • bone daddybone daddy Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    I'm actually pretty sure that this pain is the only reason she even considered she might be pregnant... Anyway, I guess the reason you consider it doesn't really matter as once you do you'll freak out until you take the test (which she's doing tommorow on her work break.)
    The only real way to go from what you just described to pregnancy is if you're afraid of an ectopic pregnancy or the miscarriage of a heretofore unknown pregnancy. That is not a normal symptom of pregnancy.

    Does she have a gyno? If she doesn't, she should get set up with one. Annual pelvic exams and pap smears are a pretty basic part of women's health if they're sexually active, over 18, or have any sort of condition that needs watching. She wouldn't need to broach the sexually active bit with her parents in light of the missed period and the pain; all she needs is a visit to a general practitioner, who will very likely refer her to a gynecologist.

    Once you guys get this knocked out of the box--again, her chances of actually being pregnant are very low--you should encourage her to see a doctor about her symptoms. The earlier a problem is caught, the easier it is to deal with. In the meantime, just be there for her and reassure her that, whatever happens, you'll handle it together.

    bone daddy on
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  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Is there a chance she's pregnant? Yes. Is it likely? No. The odds are in your favor on this one.

    Get her tested asap. Pick up a home pregnancy test, and prepare for the most suspenseful 10 to 15 minutes of your life.

    AbsoluteZero on
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  • Kewop DecamKewop Decam Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Is there a chance she's pregnant? Yes. Is it likely? No. The odds are in your favor on this one.

    Get her tested asap. Pick up a home pregnancy test, and prepare for the most suspenseful 10 to 15 minutes of your life.

    Ah man... those 10-15 minutes are pure torture! Seeing that negative sign makes you feel like you won the superbowl. I mean, I never won a superbowl but that's how I'd imagine it feeling like :wink:

    Kewop Decam on
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  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Is there a chance she's pregnant? Yes. Is it likely? No. The odds are in your favor on this one.

    Get her tested asap. Pick up a home pregnancy test, and prepare for the most suspenseful 10 to 15 minutes of your life.

    Ah man... those 10-15 minutes are pure torture! Seeing that negative sign makes you feel like you won the superbowl. I mean, I never won a superbowl but that's how I'd imagine it feeling like :wink:

    Hells yes. On that note, I've won the superbowl twice.

    AbsoluteZero on
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  • LiveWireLiveWire Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    I wish you had posted this in SE, 'cause man I got a good one.

    LiveWire on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    LiveWire wrote:
    I wish you had posted this in SE, 'cause man I got a good one.

    By all means, feel free to pm me whatever you woulda said, I could use a good laugh. I'll post the results when I find out tonight (shes doing the test at work, so I likely wont find out until she gets back around 5:30)

    Wezoin on
  • arcangelusarcangelus Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    LiveWire wrote:
    I wish you had posted this in SE, 'cause man I got a good one.

    By all means, feel free to pm me whatever you woulda said, I could use a good laugh. I'll post the results when I find out tonight (shes doing the test at work, so I likely wont find out until she gets back around 5:30)

    Good luck man.

    arcangelus on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    arcangelus wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    LiveWire wrote:
    I wish you had posted this in SE, 'cause man I got a good one.

    By all means, feel free to pm me whatever you woulda said, I could use a good laugh. I'll post the results when I find out tonight (shes doing the test at work, so I likely wont find out until she gets back around 5:30)

    Good luck man.

    Thanks, although it kinda seems dumb now that everyone's said theres no way what she had was morning sickness, and seeing as she was sick at the time her period was supposed to arrive, and bassically every possible thing points to no... But I guess it's better to be sure.

    And ugh, this has turned into the longest day ever... I shoulda gone and met up with her for the test so I could know right away and calm down.

    Wezoin on
  • CangoFettCangoFett Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    You mentioned an Abortion, and seemed pretty on the ball, ready to do that. Has she mentioned a desire to do the same thing? Cause i'm somewhat sure she has a say in it, and if she hasnt mentioned it, saying, "oh, Ill pay for the abortion," would be a bad idea.

    CangoFett on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    CangoFett wrote:
    You mentioned an Abortion, and seemed pretty on the ball, ready to do that. Has she mentioned a desire to do the same thing? Cause i'm somewhat sure she has a say in it, and if she hasnt mentioned it, saying, "oh, Ill pay for the abortion," would be a bad idea.

    Yeah, I know, I definately wouldn't bring it up like that... Though she already mentioned she's semi-against it. But as we're in Canada, I do believe abortions are covered on the public system (Hell, they ought to be seeing as you can get breast implants on it.)

    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..

    Wezoin on
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    CangoFett wrote:
    You mentioned an Abortion, and seemed pretty on the ball, ready to do that. Has she mentioned a desire to do the same thing? Cause i'm somewhat sure she has a say in it, and if she hasnt mentioned it, saying, "oh, Ill pay for the abortion," would be a bad idea.

    Yeah, I know, I definately wouldn't bring it up like that... Though she already mentioned she's semi-against it. But as we're in Canada, I do believe abortions are covered on the public system (Hell, they ought to be seeing as you can get breast implants on it.)

    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..

    This is probably not the best thing to do, considering the stress is probably just going to keep her wired and keep her period from coming.

    Sheri on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Sheri wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    CangoFett wrote:
    You mentioned an Abortion, and seemed pretty on the ball, ready to do that. Has she mentioned a desire to do the same thing? Cause i'm somewhat sure she has a say in it, and if she hasnt mentioned it, saying, "oh, Ill pay for the abortion," would be a bad idea.

    Yeah, I know, I definately wouldn't bring it up like that... Though she already mentioned she's semi-against it. But as we're in Canada, I do believe abortions are covered on the public system (Hell, they ought to be seeing as you can get breast implants on it.)

    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..

    This is probably not the best thing to do, considering the stress is probably just going to keep her wired and keep her period from coming.

    I realise that, but I dont really want to push her for earlier and stress her out even more.

    Wezoin on
  • CangoFettCangoFett Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Well, as someone brought up in another thread, it's gotta be really embarrasing for her to get a pregnacy test. Imagine how embarrasing it would be for you. Now imagine that time a sideways 8.


    Offer to go get one for her.

    CangoFett on
  • DynamiteKidDynamiteKid Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    'Offer' being the opportune word. Going to get one and making her do it is a bad move.

    DynamiteKid on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    CangoFett wrote:
    Well, as someone brought up in another thread, it's gotta be really embarrasing for her to get a pregnacy test. Imagine how embarrasing it would be for you. Now imagine that time a sideways 8.


    Offer to go get one for her.

    I did, I essentially said "Well, if I go pick one up right now would you do it?" and she said no, she wants to wait a while

    Wezoin on
  • DynamiteKidDynamiteKid Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Of course, the longer you wait, I suspect this will get worse. You are stuck between a rock and a hard place here. I know I said don't make her do it, because that's a bad move, but maybe go and buy one and have it on reserve just in case? Possibly even suggest that if she feels ready at any point she knows it's there and where it is.

    DynamiteKid on
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  • AbsoluteZeroAbsoluteZero The new film by Quentin Koopantino Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Sheri wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    CangoFett wrote:
    You mentioned an Abortion, and seemed pretty on the ball, ready to do that. Has she mentioned a desire to do the same thing? Cause i'm somewhat sure she has a say in it, and if she hasnt mentioned it, saying, "oh, Ill pay for the abortion," would be a bad idea.

    Yeah, I know, I definately wouldn't bring it up like that... Though she already mentioned she's semi-against it. But as we're in Canada, I do believe abortions are covered on the public system (Hell, they ought to be seeing as you can get breast implants on it.)

    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..

    This is probably not the best thing to do, considering the stress is probably just going to keep her wired and keep her period from coming.

    I realise that, but I dont really want to push her for earlier and stress her out even more.

    Holy crap. Just go out and buy one for her. They are, what, 20 dollars at most? All she will have to do is pee on a stick.

    She has to realize that refusing to find out if she is pregnant does not make her automagically not pregnant.

    Don't forget this is your problem too. You have a right to know.

    AbsoluteZero on
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  • Kewop DecamKewop Decam Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    CangoFett wrote:
    Well, as someone brought up in another thread, it's gotta be really embarrasing for her to get a pregnacy test. Imagine how embarrasing it would be for you. Now imagine that time a sideways 8.


    Offer to go get one for her.

    Yea, you should go buy it. I bought it when my girlfriend and I were going through this.

    EPT all the way baby!!!

    EDIT - Also buy a bottle of Gator Aid because when it shows up negative you'll want to douse either her or yourself with it and you know why.

    Kewop Decam on
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  • bone daddybone daddy Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2006
    Wezoin wrote:
    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..
    O_o

    If she's ill, the last thing she needs is another five days of freaking out about something this big. Beyond that, the sooner you guys know if she's pregnant or not, the sooner you can either start dealing with the pregnancy in one way or another or she can talk to a doctor about her other symptoms. You could try persuading her to take it earlier by saying that pregnancy is unlikely, but you're worried about what her symptoms could mean if she isn't.

    bone daddy on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    bone daddy wrote:
    Wezoin wrote:
    Also: quick mention, she came home, she didn't get the test, I think shes nervous of the result and wants to push it back... I got her to agree that friday night if she still hasn't gotten her period we're going down together to get one. I figured setting a date for it would mean less ability to make up exuses..
    O_o

    If she's ill, the last thing she needs is another five days of freaking out about something this big. Beyond that, the sooner you guys know if she's pregnant or not, the sooner you can either start dealing with the pregnancy in one way or another or she can talk to a doctor about her other symptoms. You could try persuading her to take it earlier by saying that pregnancy is unlikely, but you're worried about what her symptoms could mean if she isn't.

    Good idea, thanks, I'll try that

    Wezoin on
  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited December 2006
    HOLY SHIT OMFG IM SOOOOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!!!

    FUCKING HELL! SHE GOT HER PERIOD TODAY!!!

    Holy shit, I never thought I'd be happy to hear her say that.

    Wezoin on
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