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American TV isn't even slightly retarded.

RagixRagix Registered User regular
edited April 2009 in Social Entropy++
Not one fucking bit.

....

I turned on the TV today to give my eyes something to focus at, and I had the [dis]pleasure of watching some really filthy shit.

ugly-tyra-banks.jpg

I mean, this shit

tyrashow.jpg

What the hell? does anybody actually watch her retarded mind-corrupting show?

She spent 30 minutes or so, bitching about men while receiving a standing ovation from the crowd of multi-cultural feminists who carry ungodly amounts of hatred towards men and penis-carriers.

Also, her jokes aren't funny and they engulf me in a fume of fermented vomit. Mentally.


And then they showed this crap

e_logo_apprentice.jpg

The show is boring and uninteresting, but I don't have a problem with it. It's just that this sack of shit kept coming up, sitting in his big, red leather chair..

donald-trump-picture-1.jpg

..and proceeded to fire a single team member every 5-10 minutes ever so harshly..

the_apprentice_s2_d3-95.jpg
"My show, fuck off!"


I couldn't hold myself from re-imagining the chain of thoughts that went through his self-centered head, ending in the establishment of this show.

"I'm a self-proclaimed eccentric fuck, and I have money. Therefore, I'll make a show where I torture poor youth workers and fire them one by one, randomly, while sitting in my big, red leather chair."

"Also, my Mercedes SLR has to appear behind me at least once per episode, followed by a view of the tower holding my name. Twice."
1210_03_77---Trump-Tower--New-York-City_web.jpg


"And I'm not bald or remotely fat."


tldr; bitch about American shows that sucks.

Ragix on
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Posts

  • Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TV THREAD TONIGHT!

    (TONIGHT!)

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
  • edited April 2009
    I think donald trump's buildings should be designed with a parking space in the lobby that is reserved for MR TRUMP 24/7. He just pushes his garage door opener and drives right in.

    Richard M. Nixon on
    chevy.jpgsteve.jpgmartin.jpg
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    To me, the appropriate allegory for American TV is the cloaca. Sure, most of the time unbroken torrents of faeces will stream onto your face and into your mouth as punishment for for even looking at it, but sometimes, when the stars are right, something new, something of quality, will come through that very same canal.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DON'T YOU EVER DISS AMERICAN TV! IT IS THE BEST!

    USA!

    USA!

    i don't think i can live without ______ of love and ANTM and SYTYCD and supernatural and real world/road rules challenge and top chef and hell's kitchen and etc etc etc. basically, if its on vh1/mtv/bravo/cw, i'm willing to give it a shot

    lostwords on
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  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    sounds like the US apprentice is pretty similar to the UK one then

    Nuzak on
  • Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    has the UK had a celebrity Apprentice yet?

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
  • RagixRagix Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    I think donald trump's buildings should be designed with a parking space in the lobby that is reserved for MR TRUMP 24/7. He just pushes his garage door opener and drives right in.

    I bet on his 80th birthday, someone will give him a golden, floating bathroom with his name on it.

    He'll drive his SLR every morning right through the Trump building, pull down his pants, and take a shit right on top of the reception table.

    In the cute receptionist's face. In her face.

    Ragix on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    also, any tyra banks show episode involving fat suits is good times

    lostwords on
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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    also, tyra has a message for the OP

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fJ3HE1ksAY

    lostwords on
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  • DrZiplockDrZiplock Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Lost...check your damned PMs.

    DrZiplock on
  • KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Let's all watch british TV instead.

    I have a great idea for a show.

    It's called "Man in women's clothing"

    It'll be a declaration of the purest form of british comedy

    Khavall on
  • FugaFuga Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Fuga on
  • KrunkMcGrunkKrunkMcGrunk Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    God damn lostwords, you have the worst taste in TV

    KrunkMcGrunk on
    mrsatansig.png
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Japanese TV may be arguably stupider.
    However, it manages to surround educational concepts! Somehow!

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Recommended Tyra episodes:

    The one where she was homeless
    The one where she was fat
    The one where she was a man
    The one where she went to prison
    The one where she freaked out over a hedgehog or some animal I forget

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Redeemer wrote: »
    Recommended Tyra episodes:

    The one where she was homeless
    The one where she was fat
    The one where she was a man
    The one where she went to prison
    The one where she freaked out over a hedgehog or some animal I forget

    The Tyra episode about vaginas was classic too.

    Hunter on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    DrZiplock wrote: »
    Lost...check your damned PMs.


    sorry dude, reply sent :winky:

    lostwords on
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  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    for all the shit they produce american TV is still probably the best in the world

    FAQ on
  • RagixRagix Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Fuga wrote: »

    Yeap. A typical Tyra Banks episode.
    lostwords wrote: »
    also, tyra has a message for the OP

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fJ3HE1ksAY

    That bitch..


    By the way, is her name even real? Tyra?
    My spellchecker keeps automatically fixing it into Tyre.

    Ragix on
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    While in Australia I met a man who took part in inventing Big Brother . I told him straight up I thought he was a piece of shit for doing it. He agreed and his girl friend was ultra hot, like damn.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2009
    Japanese TV may be arguably stupider.
    However, it manages to surround educational concepts! Somehow!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYjR2tcq8c

    NSFW language and explicit actions, although no nudity

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    the only TV that I even remotely enjoyed that had Tyra Banks in it were late episodes of The Fresh Prince.

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Hunter wrote: »
    Redeemer wrote: »
    Recommended Tyra episodes:

    The one where she was homeless
    The one where she was fat
    The one where she was a man
    The one where she went to prison
    The one where she freaked out over a hedgehog or some animal I forget

    The Tyra episode about vaginas was classic too.

    Yes

    Any episode where Tyra discusses bodily functions, even

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9YRt_QMZmA

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • Me Too!Me Too! __BANNED USERS regular
    edited April 2009
    The only shows I watch anymore are NCIS, Law and Order and spin-offs, and Burn Notice

    And Rescue Me but that hasn't been as good this season

    Me Too! on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    the only TV that I even remotely enjoyed that had Tyra Banks in it were late episodes of The Fresh Prince.

    she was in the classic episode where will challenges a football dude to a drinkining contest and got too drunk and they left him in a cemetery and he saw the ghost of people killed by drunk drivers and pride and whatnot. thats when big willy learned about the dangers of alcholism wooooo

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    also fond memories of Carlton being locked in a cage unable to take his rightful spot as the football team mascot.

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Japanese TV may be arguably stupider.
    However, it manages to surround educational concepts! Somehow!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYjR2tcq8c

    NSFW language and explicit actions, although no nudity

    This woman comes from good stock.

    Peter Ebel on
    Fuck off and die.
  • edited April 2009
    FAQ wrote: »
    for all the shit they produce american TV is still probably the best in the world

    i think probably the proportions are roughly the same everywhere (say 1 good show in 20 produced) but they produce so much of it it looks better.

    Richard M. Nixon on
    chevy.jpgsteve.jpgmartin.jpg
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    or carlton being rejected from a frat for not being black enough, and will standing up for his cuz.

    or when will and his fiance ended up being step siblings. awkward

    lostwords on
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  • RagixRagix Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    lostwords wrote: »
    Ness445 wrote: »
    the only TV that I even remotely enjoyed that had Tyra Banks in it were late episodes of The Fresh Prince.

    she was in the classic episode where will challenges a football dude to a drinkining contest and got too drunk and they left him in a cemetery and he saw the ghost of people killed by drunk drivers and pride and whatnot. thats when big willy learned about the dangers of alcholism wooooo

    vivian-banks.jpg

    Ragix on
  • edited April 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    also fond memories of Carlton being locked in a cage unable to take his rightful spot as the football team mascot.

    my favourite is probably the earthquake one

    stuck in a basement
    sittin' on a tricycle
    girl gettin' on my nerves

    thought she was fine
    goin' out of my mind
    don't know if her body is hers
    :whistle:

    Richard M. Nixon on
    chevy.jpgsteve.jpgmartin.jpg
  • Ness445Ness445 Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    NEW AUNT VIV VERSUS OLD AUNT VIV

    FIGHT

    Ness445 on
    4445.gif
  • MonkeyfeetMonkeyfeet Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Come on Toshi, come on

    Monkeyfeet on
    sig1.jpg
  • RedeemerRedeemer Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Ness445 wrote: »
    NEW AUNT VIV VERSUS OLD AUNT VIV

    FIGHT

    The new Aunt Viv was boring and not sassy at all

    Redeemer on
    25jyxzr.jpg
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    Japanese TV may be arguably stupider.
    However, it manages to surround educational concepts! Somehow!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPYjR2tcq8c

    NSFW language and explicit actions, although no nudity

    I found out what show this is from! It is indeed meant as sarcastic comedy, sorry to break anyone's bubble there. The show is called Vermilion Pleasure Night and it is meant to be watched alongside a heavy dose of whatever drugs you've got.
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    This woman comes from good stock.

    All the chicks on the show are ridiculously bangable. It's good stuff.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited April 2009
    ...can you get me dvds of it or something? it'd make a fantastic birthday present for the girl who introduced me to it

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    FAQ wrote: »
    for all the shit they produce american TV is still probably the best in the world
    Agreed. With the exception, maybe, of nature programmes (as the UK does still have David Attenborough)

    Janson on
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    ...can you get me dvds of it or something? it'd make a fantastic birthday present for the girl who introduced me to it

    I'll take a rook-see.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
  • scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited April 2009
    It's also on Netflix for instant viewing, but here's the Amazon link.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
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