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Feedback on my comic about cats

P-FrankP-Frank Registered User regular
edited May 2009 in Artist's Corner
I've been making comics with my girlfriend for almost 5 years now. A few months ago we started making this comic. We've received a few critiques on the earlier comics about the bright palette and awkward pacing, which I think have been remedied later on (too much background detail, no room to breathe). I am still trying to get the hand of being punchy and less wordy with my writing, but I am happy with the flowery language that I use in it. Four panel grids are also an interesting beast that I am still getting the hang of.

2009-03-13-more-regrets.jpg

2009-03-27-tigerbuttah-understands-autumn.jpg

It has been a really rewarding experience working on the comic thus far, I've learned more in 3 months than in 3 years. I remember posting my other comic work here years and years ago and it got pretty much torn to shreds, but I am game enough to give it another shot.

If theres something here that doesn't conform to the rules of the forum, let me know. Thanks!

P-Frank on

Posts

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Really really nice arts!

    My only crit would be to maybe tone down some of the colors. On your website there is so much color going on that while it is visually grabbing, it is also hard to focus on anything. The toolbar at the top of the page for instance, is hard to make any of the tet out on top of the images.

    This also seems to carry over to the comics. The colors look great, but in comic form they make it kinda hard for my eyes to progress though the panels. I think it may be mostly in the earlier comics...

    Still though, to see a classy old fashion style in webcomic form is a refreshing change. And it's not about 2 dudes playing videogames in an apartment. (You totally win the internets)

    earthwormadam on
  • Stupid Mr Whoopsie NameStupid Mr Whoopsie Name Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited May 2009
    Yeah, these are gorgeous! So I've got to ask... what's your process like when making these?

    Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    oh my god, yes it's you!
    I totally love your stuff.
    i added you on deviantart about a month or so ago

    i don't know if i read correctly, but i was under the impression that these are done with real paint

    beavotron on
  • P-FrankP-Frank Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    beavotron wrote: »
    i don't know if i read correctly, but i was under the impression that these are done with real paint

    Quite right, the comic is painted and inked with a brush :) You also added Becky on Deviantart, I just write it. She is looking over my shoulder the whole time on the forum though, so she says thanks!
    My only crit would be to maybe tone down some of the colors.

    Thanks for the kind words! The colours are part of the style, drawn from old Mary Blair paintings, retro art, golden books. Part is due to the paint we use (barely diluted gouache, which is very bright) and partly due to choice. We had a bit of background clutter and a lack of contrast early on, which made the colours a problem. Now, not so much in my opinion, but I respect those who believe otherwise. It seems pretentious to say so, but we aren't so much into letting people breeze through the comic, there aren't a lot of words and the plot is slow, so you may as well take in the paintings :)
    Yeah, these are gorgeous! So I've got to ask... what's your process like when making these?

    Thanks! First we made colour sheets with instructions on how to mix each characters paints. We keep mixing to a minimum as well as the number of colours. Despite the bright look, there are very few colours (especially in comparison to most webcomics).

    Then the comic is pencilled out, usually two at a time, so they can be painted at the same time (so blue on both comics is painted, then black etc...). When the painting is done, which takes at least 10 hours, I write the tight script. Becky plays off my script, then I play off her drawings (and she does some great animated expressions, so its easy to play off). I print the dialogue out in blueline and then its penciled over, scanned back in and the boxes are erased, then we up the contrast so it looks darker. Gives it a hand drawn look. The bubbles are overlaid as blue squares in photoshop, then printed out, penciled over. Sometimes we take the lines out, so its a sketchy white box, or we leave them in.

    P-Frank on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    oh yes i did, she is also fabulous
    the two of you combined are a force

    and i straight up love everything you do
    the comic design is so unique, the story is interesting, you have thumbs up all around from me, but some of the critics around here are a bit harder to please.
    which isn't a bad thing, it's good to get harsher criticism amongst the asspats i guess haha ;)

    beavotron on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    The font works well on the bottom one, because it looks like a greeting card. However, a serif font it is too mechanical looking for use in word balloons.

    I dig the art though. Makes me think of 50s/60s jazz cartoon illustrations, like the backgrounds for the early Pink Panthers.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    contrary to what manovan says, I am going to say the serif font works perfectly in the comic.
    Simply because the style is a throwback to old 50s style children's book illustration style
    think dick and jane:

    spot.jpg

    sans serif fonts then to give a more "modern" mechanical feeling
    the serif font adds to the old fashioned feel of the illustration
    making it sans serif would detract from that charming old fashioned style
    so i say keep the font.

    beavotron on
  • bowenbowen Sup? Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    heh come dick, come, come

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    in those old illustrations, the font isn't crammed into a word balloon; it has room to breathe. which is why i said i felt it worked in the bottom comic and not in the top.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    in those old illustrations, the font isn't crammed into a word balloon; it has room to breathe. which is why i said i felt it worked in the bottom comic and not in the top.

    then the answer would be to expand the text bubble or decrease the font size, not to change the font.
    a sans serif font would not work as well with the illustration style.

    beavotron on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    agreed.

    now that i think of it, I think Eisner used some hand-drawn serif fonts inside of some of his work, maybe it was in A Contract with God. I'll see if I can find some scans.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    found it. it has nothing to do with this really, because it has a completely different feel. so I won't bother posting it.

    however, I think slightly larger balloons, or even having the dialog like a caption for each panel both could work well. Generally, the rule of thumb is to have enough white space around your text to fit an "M" from whatever font you are using.

    I think the worst I've ever seen published was Mouse Guard, though. That text is like needles in your eyes- too much white space between the letters, and too little around it.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • PojPoj Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Wow, these are awesome! I am really a terrible sucker for bright colors, but the website is a tad bit distracting/busy. I actually think the image you're using for the page background is causing most of the trouble... like maybe it should be a plain dark color instead?

    Oops, here I am critiquing the web design again. I guess what I'm getting at is the comic itself is delightful.

    Poj on
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  • GodfatherGodfather Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Wow, this is some top quality stuff! This style of yours reminds me of those much later episodes of Dexter's Lab or Samurai Jack.

    I've got nothing to add here. Keep it up!

    Godfather on
  • MustangMustang Arbiter of Unpopular Opinions Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Oh fuck yes, this is great! The art is unique as hell for a web comic, you have my full approval.

    Mustang on
  • KochikensKochikens Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Oh, holyshit. Real paint? Holyshit. Some serious admiration and adoration of your character designs right here.

    Kochikens on
  • P-FrankP-Frank Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    beavotron wrote: »
    it's good to get harsher criticism amongst the asspats i guess haha ;)
    Agreed! Besides, if everyone liked it my head would get even bigger than it already is, both physically and metaphorically. Thanks for your kind comments, it is always rad to hear nice things about the writing especially. Does my poor ego good.
    However, a serif font it is too mechanical looking for use in word balloons.

    I dig the art though. Makes me think of 50s/60s jazz cartoon illustrations, like the backgrounds for the early Pink Panthers.

    We felt upper and lower-case fonts were required, we soften it by hand-tracing the printed font, but I understand it can still be rigid for some (see: Achewood).
    in those old illustrations, the font isn't crammed into a word balloon; it has room to breathe. which is why i said i felt it worked in the bottom comic and not in the top.

    Agreed, we're going to try be a little smaller with the font, a little bigger with the bubbles. Becky has already begun drawing things a little smaller and giving the text more breathing room. Not her fault really, I am just a wordy bastard.
    Poj wrote: »
    Oops, here I am critiquing the web design again. I guess what I'm getting at is the comic itself is delightful.

    Thanks! Let us compromise by darkening the background tile image a few shades. I just did it, I will upload it in the next couple days.
    Godfather wrote: »
    This style of yours reminds me of those much later episodes of Dexter's Lab or Samurai Jack.
    We are big fans of Genndy Tartakovsky, the man behind those shows. I am looking forward to his new Cartoon Network show. You should check out the Golden Books he worked on, as the art is beautiful.
    Mustang wrote: »
    Oh fuck yes, this is great! The art is unique as hell for a web comic, you have my full approval.

    Thanks!
    Kochikens wrote: »
    Oh, holyshit. Real paint? Holyshit. Some serious admiration and adoration of your character designs right here.

    Awesome! I have yet to hear someone talk about the designs, so that is really refreshing and makes me rather happy, as there were a few months on and off of designing those characters.

    Thanks to you all for the kind comments and very fair criticisms. If there are anymore questions, comments or critiques I'd be glad to hear them.

    P-Frank on
  • JohnTWMJohnTWM Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I don't think anyone else mentioned this, and it could just be me, but the cat in the "leaf drawing class" one didnt immediately read as a cat for me. I mean, I figured it out quick enough, but my first though was actually moth. Which I know sounds weird, but the combination of giant pupiless blue eyes and the big ears looked like wings. I think maybe doing the eyes a little more.. catlike would fix that though.

    JohnTWM on
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