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I am terrified of baby spiders eating my dick.
Kazhiim
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A couple nights ago, I think I was bitten on the inner thigh by a spider while sleeping. I say "I think" not because a spider may or may not have done something to my special area, but because I think it might also have laid eggs inside me. There's a tic-tac sized sac of (what I hope is only) blood under my skin where I was bitten (and it feels like I could pop the fucker with just a little force) and maybe an inch and a half diameter of redness around that. The affected flesh seems to go much deeper and wider than that, however. I can feel a much larger portion of hardened flesh (think of how an area gets when it's bruised) underneath my skin by squeezing my thigh. Perhaps I can only see the tip of the arachnid iceberg.
Nothing is numb (on the contrary, I have a slight limp from rubbing the area while I walk) and nothing is rotting away, but still. I hope it's just a spider bite. I fear waking up to find an open pit in my leg and thousands of freshly born widows or recluses feasting upon my genitals.
I suppose I should go to a doctor, but he might pop it and that's gonna hurrrrrt.
Nothing is numb (on the contrary, I have a slight limp from rubbing the area while I walk) and nothing is rotting away, but still. I hope it's just a spider bite. I fear waking up to find an open pit in my leg and thousands of freshly born widows or recluses feasting upon my genitals.
I suppose I should go to a doctor, but he might pop it and that's gonna hurrrrrt.
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it's like performing 100 simultaneous abortions
shit was gross
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
In yo' junk.
wait for the birth
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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I suppose that would mean you had spidercrabs
the position of octomom has already been filled
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Bearstranaut (12:03:51 AM): down went the eggs and now they're coming out
Dubh (12:04:50 AM): out came the babies bringing out some pain
Bearstranaut (12:05:19 AM): to spread across the earth and begin the cycle again
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Fine
hahahaha
Remember to wear your safety goggles!
they eat spiders
were spiders?
this post is for smart hero because i love him
marvel would give you a year's supply of spidey comics, and john goodman would come to your house to commemorate the 20th anniversary of Arachnophobia starring john goodman
NOT YOURS!
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
everything okay now?
which one? the latest one? it was pretty bad for a few days and i was wondering if i was going to have to go to the hospital again but it eventually cleared up after i kept that shit iced for like 36 straight hours.
Seriously, it may have snowed here today, and that does definitely suck, but extreme weather like we have in Manitoba does preclude the existence of most horrible terrifying insects and other animals that want to destroy your flesh.
I should probably work for MB Tourism.
and the spiders in the area i live in are fucking pussies
i've never even been bit by a spider
well, apparently that isn't totally true
when i was a kid i went to the cottage with my family and the one morning i had this funny rash on my chest and i showed my mom and she was like "oh, that's weird. don't scratch at it, it will probably go away on its own"
it was like a dozen tiny pinpricks in little close pairs
my mother didn't speak any more about it but years later she told me she recognized what it was and went and looked around my bed and sure enough in the space between my bed and the wall there was a spider nest with hundreds of little spiders.
she killed them all and told me nothing about it at the time because she knew i'd freak the fuck out
of course when she told me about this years later i still freaked the fuck out
http://www.audioentropy.com/
pretty much being a mother is the only thing my mom doesn't consistently appear to fuck up
i know that sounds harsh
it is harsh
but that don't make it not true
i love my ma, don't get me wrong
but straight up, my parents?
they'se fuck-ups
but yeah i guess she's gotten some stuff right over the years