Funny thing happened.....
I got trashed on Friday night, and proceeded to act quite the cunt. Yes, as usual, by the end of the night total strangers were queuing up for apologies. It seems that when I drink copious amounts of booze in public, some sort of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation arises, with their roles being replaced with Dr Adam and Mr Cunt. I also seem to share with Dr Jekyll a inability to remember what my alter ego did, simply waking up the next day with a inbox full of “fuck youâ€, and the smell of beer over my clothes.
So i got very, very, very drunk on an empty stomach and blacked out. Again. I remember being a drunken mess at the pub, shouting at some poor woman who was sitting with us, inventing a drink which is simply called "Cunt" and generally being a real twat. Then the shifting sands of time descend, and I start jumping forward in my memories, instead of flowing. The last thing I hazily remember is shouting at some poor barman at the nightclub. Then the next thing I know, I have quantum leaped into myself at quarter past five the next morning. I found myself lying on the grass in my front garden, face down. I had a spastic hangover, and felt very very cold. Slowly sitting up, i looked down at my feet, and noticed, through my wet cake filled mind, that I had no shoes or socks on. Confused and disorientated, I looked around, and saw my converses a good five meters away in the grass. I duly picked up my shit, and retired to my hovel, to guzzle Solpadine and Irn Bru. What baffles me most however, more than why did I take my shoes off, or why did i choose to go to sleep literally metres from my warm bed, is this. WHERE THE FUCK DID MY SOCKS GO?
So, have any of you woke up with a head full of concrete and a hazy memory of grabbing the queens tits or something?
Posts
shame is quite pungent
super
although I laughed at your drinking game
congratulations
The next morning I was embarrased about it.
What spring does with the cherry trees.
losing your socks is about the lamest really drunk story I have ever heard
see that's much better
Or......he could have had the best night of his life, and recorded it on that tape.
another time i was drunk and then just went to bed
The potential content of the tape is more entertaining than the real content could ever be.
If we watch the tape, we collapse the waveform and will undoubtedly be disappointed by its contents.
was this a gold door?
fun story!
If only I'd remember if it was as good for me..
The last time I got drunk I ended up making out with a (on sober reflection) rather unpleasant woman. That was the last time I got drunk.
You should have told her it wasn't that great.
Then she'd get mad.
THEN you'd have the best sex of your life.
I am not ever going to do that again.
Also this one time my friend who was leaving for katimavik decided to rent a suite in a pretty classy hotel in Québec. It was gigantic and we had tons of free alcohol. I remember the first 30 minutes of the party.
I woke up the next day on the ground completely alone in that fucking gigantic suite. Was strange.
Unpleasant as a person, or unpleasant to look at?
Yeah, me to. The last time I got drunk I actually mended like three friendships.
I become a thirsty drunk when I get really drunk though. Like I'd see a female friend of mine, go in for a hug, blackout, step away from them and their expressions range from to .
And this is because I feel them up.
What spring does with the cherry trees.
there's no reason to be an angry drunk if you're not having HUGE personal problems otherwise you just bottle up
the worst I've seen are stubborn drunks
She had a treadmill in one of her rooms
My friend asked "do you think if you jumped on that thing at full speed it would launch you off with enough force to go through a wall?"
I said no. He said no.
We were wrong and I ended up in her garage.
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
Thats awesome