The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
Please vote in the Forum Structure Poll. Polling will close at 2PM EST on January 21, 2025.

Drunken douchebag shenanigans

BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
edited May 2009 in Social Entropy++
Funny thing happened.....

I got trashed on Friday night, and proceeded to act quite the cunt. Yes, as usual, by the end of the night total strangers were queuing up for apologies. It seems that when I drink copious amounts of booze in public, some sort of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde situation arises, with their roles being replaced with Dr Adam and Mr Cunt. I also seem to share with Dr Jekyll a inability to remember what my alter ego did, simply waking up the next day with a inbox full of “fuck you”, and the smell of beer over my clothes.

So i got very, very, very drunk on an empty stomach and blacked out. Again. I remember being a drunken mess at the pub, shouting at some poor woman who was sitting with us, inventing a drink which is simply called "Cunt" and generally being a real twat. Then the shifting sands of time descend, and I start jumping forward in my memories, instead of flowing. The last thing I hazily remember is shouting at some poor barman at the nightclub. Then the next thing I know, I have quantum leaped into myself at quarter past five the next morning. I found myself lying on the grass in my front garden, face down. I had a spastic hangover, and felt very very cold. Slowly sitting up, i looked down at my feet, and noticed, through my wet cake filled mind, that I had no shoes or socks on. Confused and disorientated, I looked around, and saw my converses a good five meters away in the grass. I duly picked up my shit, and retired to my hovel, to guzzle Solpadine and Irn Bru. What baffles me most however, more than why did I take my shoes off, or why did i choose to go to sleep literally metres from my warm bed, is this. WHERE THE FUCK DID MY SOCKS GO?

So, have any of you woke up with a head full of concrete and a hazy memory of grabbing the queens tits or something?

BoredGamer on
«13456789

Posts

  • ascotascot Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Original.

    ascot on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    This thread smells familiar.

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Macro9 wrote: »
    This thread smells familiar.

    shame is quite pungent

    Usagi on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    please die of alcohol poisoning next time

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    you got so drunk you lost your socks

    super

    although I laughed at your drinking game

    FAQ on
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    oh my gawd

    Dadouw on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    no matter how drunk I get I have never forgotten how the hell anything happened

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    you have a problem

    congratulations

    MrMonroe on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I mean, my only theory is that I took my shoes of to throw at a cat or something. But that's......well thats just stupid.

    BoredGamer on
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'M SOOOOOOOO DRUNK RIGHT NOW YOU GUUUUUYS~~~~~

    Brolo on
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I slept with my ex's mom once while intoxicated

    Meiz on
  • Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    This one time I got drunk and did stuff.

    The next morning I was embarrased about it.

    Viscount Islands on
    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Your sig's more interesting. What's it about?

    Platy on
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    again

    losing your socks is about the lamest really drunk story I have ever heard

    FAQ on
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    About six years back, my friend went with a group to something called Stage 13. It was, essentially, Edmonton's three-day outdoor rock concert, which of course meant a lot of alcohol and such. My friend, having a history of making poor decisions, decided to drink a whole bottle of tequila in a very short period of time. This is the last thing he remembers. He woke up the next day with his (now broken) video camera taped to his hand, lying in a field at the concert. In the video camera was a tape that, to this day, we have not watched. I'm pretty sure it'll be something tremendously disappointing but that tape haunts me.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • FAQFAQ Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Meiz wrote: »
    I slept with my ex's mom once while intoxicated

    see that's much better

    FAQ on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    About six years back, my friend went with a group to something called Stage 13. It was, essentially, Edmonton's three-day outdoor rock concert, which of course meant a lot of alcohol and such. My friend, having a history of making poor decisions, decided to drink a whole bottle of tequila in a very short period of time. This is the last thing he remembers. He woke up the next day with his (now broken) video camera taped to his hand, lying in a field at the concert. In the video camera was a tape that, to this day, we have not watched. I'm pretty sure it'll be something tremendously disappointing but that tape haunts me.

    Or......he could have had the best night of his life, and recorded it on that tape.

    BoredGamer on
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    one time i was drunk and caused $1,500 worth of damages by breaking a single door

    another time i was drunk and then just went to bed

    crwth on
    EzUAYcn.png
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    BoredGamer wrote: »
    vsove wrote: »
    About six years back, my friend went with a group to something called Stage 13. It was, essentially, Edmonton's three-day outdoor rock concert, which of course meant a lot of alcohol and such. My friend, having a history of making poor decisions, decided to drink a whole bottle of tequila in a very short period of time. This is the last thing he remembers. He woke up the next day with his (now broken) video camera taped to his hand, lying in a field at the concert. In the video camera was a tape that, to this day, we have not watched. I'm pretty sure it'll be something tremendously disappointing but that tape haunts me.

    Or......he could have had the best night of his life, and recorded it on that tape.

    The potential content of the tape is more entertaining than the real content could ever be.

    If we watch the tape, we collapse the waveform and will undoubtedly be disappointed by its contents.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    FAQ wrote: »
    Meiz wrote: »
    I slept with my ex's mom once while intoxicated

    see that's much better

    20040616h.jpg

    Brolo on
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Hahahahaha

    Meiz on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    is that a sesame stree fanfic

    PiptheFair on
  • BoredGamerBoredGamer Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    crwth wrote: »
    one time i was drunk and caused $1,500 worth of damages by breaking a single door

    another time i was drunk and then just went to bed

    was this a gold door?

    BoredGamer on
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I once woke up at the hospital

    fun story!

    Dadouw on
  • WeaverWeaver Breakfast Witch Hashus BrowniusRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Then I woke up and my pillow was gone.

    Weaver on
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I once woke up next to a girl who told me we just had the best sex of her life
    If only I'd remember if it was as good for me..

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • vsovevsove ....also yes. Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I was once involved with taking a girl to the hospital to get her stomach pumped because she had made incredibly poor decisions when it came to drinking. Unfortunately I was also drinking heavily and ended up throwing up in a hospital toilet.

    The last time I got drunk I ended up making out with a (on sober reflection) rather unpleasant woman. That was the last time I got drunk.

    vsove on
    WATCH THIS SPACE.
  • lunarislunaris Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Door breaker, do you go to Carleton? Everyone in Evans dorm got charged 60 dollars to cover a broken front door with all its security parts.

    lunaris on
  • MeizMeiz Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I once woke up next to a girl who told me we just had the best sex of her life
    If only I'd remember if it was as good for me..

    You should have told her it wasn't that great.

    Then she'd get mad.

    THEN you'd have the best sex of your life.

    Meiz on
  • babyeatingjesusbabyeatingjesus Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I got drunk and threw up two times.

    I am not ever going to do that again.

    babyeatingjesus on
    hitthatcheeseburgerfatty.gif
  • BigDesBigDes Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    One time I got really drunk then woke up the next day and apparently I had behaved very well.

    BigDes on
    steam_sig.png
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    The other day I woke up half naked in my basement next to my destroyed laptop

    Also this one time my friend who was leaving for katimavik decided to rent a suite in a pretty classy hotel in Québec. It was gigantic and we had tons of free alcohol. I remember the first 30 minutes of the party.

    I woke up the next day on the ground completely alone in that fucking gigantic suite. Was strange.

    Dadouw on
  • CrossBusterCrossBuster Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    vsove wrote: »
    The last time I got drunk I ended up making out with a (on sober reflection) rather unpleasant woman. That was the last time I got drunk.

    Unpleasant as a person, or unpleasant to look at?

    CrossBuster on
    penguins.png
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I am glad I am not an angry drunk, just a happy lets go have fun kind of drunk.

    Jigrah on
  • Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Jigrah wrote: »
    I am glad I am not an angry drunk, just a happy lets go have fun kind of drunk.

    Yeah, me to. The last time I got drunk I actually mended like three friendships.

    I become a thirsty drunk when I get really drunk though. Like I'd see a female friend of mine, go in for a hug, blackout, step away from them and their expressions range from :| to D:.

    And this is because I feel them up.

    Viscount Islands on
    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
  • Meta T. DustMeta T. Dust Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Margarita night last night

    Meta T. Dust on
    motherfuckingwar.png
  • autono-wally, erotibot300autono-wally, erotibot300 love machine Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    angry drunks are awful people
    there's no reason to be an angry drunk if you're not having HUGE personal problems otherwise you just bottle up

    autono-wally, erotibot300 on
    kFJhXwE.jpgkFJhXwE.jpg
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    never met angry drunks

    the worst I've seen are stubborn drunks

    Dadouw on
  • TasteticleTasteticle Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I was super drunk at a friends house party

    She had a treadmill in one of her rooms

    My friend asked "do you think if you jumped on that thing at full speed it would launch you off with enough force to go through a wall?"

    I said no. He said no.

    We were wrong and I ended up in her garage.

    Tasteticle on

    Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
  • Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Tasteticle wrote: »
    I was super drunk at a friends house party

    She had a treadmill in one of her rooms

    My friend asked "do you think if you jumped on that thing at full speed it would launch you off with enough force to go through a wall?"

    I said no. He said no.

    We were wrong and I ended up in her garage.

    Thats awesome

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
Sign In or Register to comment.