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In Love With Someone Who Hates Me
The Man With No Face
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The problem is in the title really.
I'm 17 and for the past 4 years I've been madly in love with someone who, to put it lightly, hates my very existence. His name's Reggie, he's the "bully" at my college. Now I'm a bit of a wuss. Well, a totla wuss actually. It's pathetic. I'm short, scrawny and can't fight to save my life. Reggie is taller than me, stronger than me and much hotter than me.
It's gotten to the point where I'm actually willing to have him kick the living shit out of me on a regular basis because even any attention at all from this dude, even violent attention, really gets me going. I know, masochist, right?
So how do I get the hell over this dude!?
I'm 17 and for the past 4 years I've been madly in love with someone who, to put it lightly, hates my very existence. His name's Reggie, he's the "bully" at my college. Now I'm a bit of a wuss. Well, a totla wuss actually. It's pathetic. I'm short, scrawny and can't fight to save my life. Reggie is taller than me, stronger than me and much hotter than me.
It's gotten to the point where I'm actually willing to have him kick the living shit out of me on a regular basis because even any attention at all from this dude, even violent attention, really gets me going. I know, masochist, right?
So how do I get the hell over this dude!?
The Man With No Face on
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Edit: Wait, really? You have people at your college who beat other people up? Or was that more of a tounge in cheek "look what I'm willing to do!" type comment?
Are you out?
Two questions; did your feelings for him start before or after the bullying, and have you been attracted (not had feelings) towards any other men?
As someone said, this is infatuation compounded by a bit of "we want what we can't have". "Love" has got nothing to do with this.
Regardless of its love or infatuation, how do I go about getting over the bastard?
If you're not out, why did you post this in another thread?
I'm getting a BS signal from this thread, like that guy who was going to let some other guy pay him money just to be single or something a few months back.
But if I'm wrong and that is your mate's problem and his one is yours, I'd definitely do as Improvalone says. Find some support group somewhere. And if Reggie beats you up as much as it sounds like, you might want to make sure he doesn't find out your in a gay support group. Bullies like that use any ammo they can get against you
You need serious professional help if you are in love with someone who not only hates you, but also beats you up.
Currently painting: Slowly [flickr]
This solves all of your problems.
Hell, get him expelled so you don't have to gaze at his dreamy face whilst he breaks your jaw every day.
So... if you're willing to let this happen, just cause you're infatuated, then that's self abuse as well. Self abuse isn't just you cutting, or punching yourself in the face, you know. It's also letting things happen to you, and not doing a damn thing about it, and just taking it.
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And if you aren't comfortable with whats going on in your life... why not take steps to change those things?
If it is not this jerkoff, it'll be some other jerkoff next time. There's councillors out there who specialize in this sort of dysfunction that can really help you become more normal but only if you want to be helped.
Currently painting: Slowly [flickr]
I strongly suggest you speak with someone about how to act on your desires in a healthy manner.
My advice is "run."
You can keep that up for a few weeks.
And wait, masochism is a bad thing?
No it's not a bad thing in resonable concentrations. Letting a bully kick the shit out of you every day is a bit on the bad/extreme side of masochism
... said the self-declared masochist.
Just stay away from the dude, realise you're not in love with him, and find a healthier way to fulfill your desires.
Define 'healthy'. Sadomasochism in a sexual context is relatively common, and as long as all persons involved give informed consent I'd question whether it could justifiably be labelled as 'bad'. It's only a problem if your desires are actually causing you distress or otherwise interfering with your day to day life.
Right now it seems like they are. Step one is to get Reggie out of your life.
And in terms of fulfilling the masochistic stuff, I don't know a lot of people willing to do sadomasochist shit with a guy that looks more 14 than 17.
That is bad.
Nobody's saying that masochism in itself is bad, it's just letting some guy beat you to shit every day is bad. See the distinction? Masochism as a sexual practise in sexual context = OK. Letting a jackass bully punch you into pudding = bad.