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Move Over Snuggie- Its the Wearable Towel!

Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
edited June 2009 in Social Entropy++
Have you fuckers ever tried to wear a towel? Its impossible. It slips. It falls-- and you en up bearing all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjdyjL0dbG8

So while watching TV today, I bumped into this atrocity. This... "wearable towel" is sin incarnate yet like the snuggie, I still cannot help myself at watching the pathetic and humiliating advertisement. From the eagerly disrobing couple @ 20 seconds, to the 40 second mark where the guy is all too happy to have a toga.

I don't think it will be too long before people start wearing these fucking things to their respective walmarts.

Lucky Cynic on
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    Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It's a bathrobe.

    Penguin Incarnate on
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    Randall_FlaggRandall_Flagg Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    shill thread

    Randall_Flagg on
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    HunterHunter Chemist with a heart of Au Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I wonder if they have a loin cloth version called the wearable jizz rag?

    Hunter on
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    QorzmQorzm Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    the Snuggie parts of that one episode of 30 Rock were the best

    Qorzm on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Penguin Incarnate wrote: »
    It's a bathrobe.

    You are insulting bathrobes now.


    Frankly I am surprised they didn't make it out of the Sham-Wow! material. But it comes in 3 vibrant colors!

    Lucky Cynic on
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    TheRealBadgerTheRealBadger Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Are towels really that difficult?

    TheRealBadger on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    so it's a bathrobe with slightly less material than a bathrobe.

    Raneados on
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited June 2009
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
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    ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I'd like to get her wet.

    So she'd have to use a towel.

    Or something.

    ChicoBlue on
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    Penguin IncarnatePenguin Incarnate King of Kafiristan Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

    Penguin Incarnate on
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    TheRealBadgerTheRealBadger Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Raneados wrote: »
    so it's a bathrobe with slightly less material than a bathrobe.

    For good reason though. Did you see how hot and uncomfortable that guy was in the robe?

    TheRealBadger on
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    DefenestratorDefenestrator Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Couldn't you just, like, buy a towel for $2 at Walmart and cut some holes in it with scissors? Or, really, you could just stop being such a prude and walk around naked like God intended.

    Defenestrator on
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    SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    My friend has a knock off Snuggie.

    It is called a Slanket.

    SirToasty on
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    T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I want to see the person that wears that to get their morning paper

    T. J. Nutty Nub on
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    RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    bathrobes are DESIGNED to be perfect

    it is literally impossible to be too hot or uncomfortable in a bathrobe

    Raneados on
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    UnreadableHulkUnreadableHulk Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    decline of civilization

    UnreadableHulk on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Raneados wrote: »
    bathrobes are DESIGNED to be perfect

    it is literally impossible to be too hot or uncomfortable in a bathrobe

    Yeah but do they come in 3 vibrant colors and can be worn in a toga fashion?


    My soul is weeping.

    Lucky Cynic on
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    T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Penguin Incarnate wrote: »
    It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

    its also a toga and its multi-faceted, unlike your bathrobe

    T. J. Nutty Nub on
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    webberwebber Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    But what about when my dog/cat get's wet? We need a wearable pet towel.

    webber on
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    HoundxHoundx Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Bleh, not even a new thing. These can be found just about anywhere. I know that I've seen them at walmart, sears and wet seal. The wife got two for $5 at wet seal (not Hello Kitty tho).

    I guess the wearable towel is at least unisex.

    Houndx on
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    T. J. Nutty Nub T. J. Nutty Nub Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Penguin Incarnate wrote: »
    It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

    its also a toga and its multi-faceted, unlike your bathrobe

    T. J. Nutty Nub on
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    Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    BTW IIRC the Slanket was out waaay before the Snuggie. I remember seeing it on Think Geek so long ago.

    Lucky Cynic on
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    HoundxHoundx Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Yes, I saw the Slanket years before I heard of the Snuggie. They were advertised as blankets that you could wear while playing video games.

    Houndx on
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    JordynJordyn Really, Commander? Probing Uranus. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    This is not a bathrobe.

    It is a towel with slits in it.

    Jordyn on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    T.J. Nutty Nub wrote: »
    I want to see the person that wears that to get their morning paper

    78472120---ken_davitian.jpg

    Centipede Damascus on
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    bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited June 2009
    The snuggie is just a fucking housecoat you put on backwards.

    bombardier on
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    Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You know what this product needs?

    Sleeves.

    Maybe a belt to hold it better.

    Sleeves and a belt would make this perfect.

    Wrench N Rockets on
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    Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Qorzm wrote: »
    the Snuggie parts of that one episode of 30 Rock were the best

    don't you have a slanket somewhere you should be filling up with your farts?

    Centipede Damascus on
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    LarlarLarlar consecutive normal brunches Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited June 2009
    Jordyn wrote: »
    This is not a bathrobe.

    It is a towel with slits in it.

    so it's like some kind of towel woman

    I hope it can't defend itself

    Larlar on
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    TanolenTanolen Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Time to invent something that you put on your face to block out the light and help you sleep better.

    Tanolen on
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    moocowmoocow Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Tanolen wrote: »
    Time to invent something that you put on your face to block out the light and help you sleep better.


    Behold the Pillmask!(tm)

    It's a pillow, and a mask! Our patented "Pillow Strap"(tm) technology holds the pillow firmly on your head while you sleep. No more waking up with your second pillow beside you or on the dirty floor! Pillmask(tm) straps directly onto your very own head so that it won't fall off, no matter how you move when you sleep!*


    *The makers of Pillmask(tm) are not responsible for smothering deaths in the case of Pillmask(tm) slipping and covering your mouth. Please do not use Pillmask(tm) while operating heavy machinery, if you have trouble waking up, or during sexual activity. Pillmask(tm) should not be taken orally or used as a suppository, it is not an actual pill.

    moocow on
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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    The first twenty seconds of any infomercial are a glimpse into a nightmare realm. Pensive music plays over low-res monochrome footage of miserable people, suffering from massive nerve damage or mental disability or both, struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable. Straining the water from a pot of noodles becomes a heroic feat comparable to Hannibal's crossing of the alps, but there are no heroes to be found. Failure is assured, and your scenery-chewing family will scorn your ineptitude.

    The vibrant color and fixed grins of the last act are a comfortable illusion. They have solved the problem of keeping a towel wrapped around themselves with their useless clublike flipper-hands, but the day has just begun. Soon, they will be required to fry eggs or remove a stain, and they are running perilously low on twenty-dollar bills. You can see the animal terror behind the eyes.

    Jedoc on
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Jedoc wrote: »
    struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable.

    picture1yse.pngpicture2ayv.pngpicture3vod.png

    #pipe on
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    JoeUserJoeUser Forum Santa Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Jedoc wrote: »
    The first twenty seconds of any infomercial are a glimpse into a nightmare realm. Pensive music plays over low-res monochrome footage of miserable people, suffering from massive nerve damage or mental disability or both, struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable. Straining the water from a pot of noodles becomes a heroic feat comparable to Hannibal's crossing of the alps, but there are no heroes to be found. Failure is assured, and your scenery-chewing family will scorn your ineptitude.

    The vibrant color and fixed grins of the last act are a comfortable illusion. They have solved the problem of keeping a towel wrapped around themselves with their useless clublike flipper-hands, but the day has just begun. Soon, they will be required to fry eggs or remove a stain, and they are running perilously low on twenty-dollar bills. You can see the animal terror behind the eyes.

    There's some hard-boiled egg device commercial that comes on and has people spilling pots of boiling water, making horrible faces when they eat "homemade" hard-boiled eggs.

    And I don't know if this is a new thing, but every infomercial now seems to give you two of whatever it is. I guess so you can give one as a crappy present?

    JoeUser on
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I love infomercials

    can I just say that

    TheySlashThem on
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Penguin Incarnate wrote: »
    It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.
    so it's the same price as a mid-quality bathrobe, then

    Mysst on
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CztvSpKdCeY

    TheySlashThem on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    At Leanna's bridal dessert, she got a towel with elastic and velcro on the top. It's just like a regular towel, it just is a bit easier and you never have to fuck with it.

    She seems to like it.

    NotASenator on
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    NotASenatorNotASenator Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ThatDudeOverThere wrote: »
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA

    That just sold me a slap chop.

    Oh the wonders of autotune.


    Related (NSFW)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfYijyWMAjo

    NotASenator on
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    TheySlashThemTheySlashThem Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    oh man some people have been answering steve porter's rap chop remix challenge

    most of them are awful but this a good one

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMTQNf-wxlw

    TheySlashThem on
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