Move Over Snuggie- Its the Wearable Towel!

Lucky Cynic

Have you fuckers ever tried to wear a towel? Its impossible. It slips. It falls-- and you en up bearing all!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjdyjL0dbG8

So while watching TV today, I bumped into this atrocity. This... "wearable towel" is sin incarnate yet like the snuggie, I still cannot help myself at watching the pathetic and humiliating advertisement. From the eagerly disrobing couple @ 20 seconds, to the 40 second mark where the guy is all too happy to have a toga.

I don't think it will be too long before people start wearing these fucking things to their respective walmarts.

Penguin Incarnate

It's a bathrobe.

Randall_Flagg

shill thread

Hunter

I wonder if they have a loin cloth version called the wearable jizz rag?

Qorzm

the Snuggie parts of that one episode of 30 Rock were the best

Lucky Cynic

Penguin Incarnate wrote: »

It's a bathrobe.

You are insulting bathrobes now.


Frankly I am surprised they didn't make it out of the Sham-Wow! material. But it comes in 3 vibrant colors!

TheRealBadger

Are towels really that difficult?

Raneados

so it's a bathrobe with slightly less material than a bathrobe.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

ChicoBlue

I'd like to get her wet.

So she'd have to use a towel.

Or something.

Penguin Incarnate

It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

TheRealBadger

Raneados wrote: »

so it's a bathrobe with slightly less material than a bathrobe.

For good reason though. Did you see how hot and uncomfortable that guy was in the robe?

Defenestrator

Couldn't you just, like, buy a towel for $2 at Walmart and cut some holes in it with scissors? Or, really, you could just stop being such a prude and walk around naked like God intended.

SirToasty

My friend has a knock off Snuggie.

It is called a Slanket.

T. J. Nutty Nub

I want to see the person that wears that to get their morning paper

Raneados

bathrobes are DESIGNED to be perfect

it is literally impossible to be too hot or uncomfortable in a bathrobe

UnreadableHulk

decline of civilization

Lucky Cynic

Raneados wrote: »

bathrobes are DESIGNED to be perfect

it is literally impossible to be too hot or uncomfortable in a bathrobe

Yeah but do they come in 3 vibrant colors and can be worn in a toga fashion?

My soul is weeping.

T. J. Nutty Nub

Penguin Incarnate wrote: »

It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

its also a toga and its multi-faceted, unlike your bathrobe

webber

But what about when my dog/cat get's wet? We need a wearable pet towel.

Houndx

Bleh, not even a new thing. These can be found just about anywhere. I know that I've seen them at walmart, sears and wet seal. The wife got two for $5 at wet seal (not Hello Kitty tho).

I guess the wearable towel is at least unisex.

T. J. Nutty Nub

Penguin Incarnate wrote: »

It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

its also a toga and its multi-faceted, unlike your bathrobe

Lucky Cynic

BTW IIRC the Slanket was out waaay before the Snuggie. I remember seeing it on Think Geek so long ago.

Houndx

Yes, I saw the Slanket years before I heard of the Snuggie. They were advertised as blankets that you could wear while playing video games.

Jordyn

This is not a bathrobe.

It is a towel with slits in it.

Centipede Damascus

T.J. Nutty Nub wrote: »

I want to see the person that wears that to get their morning paper

bombardier

The snuggie is just a fucking housecoat you put on backwards.

Wrench N Rockets

You know what this product needs?

Sleeves.

Maybe a belt to hold it better.

Sleeves and a belt would make this perfect.

Centipede Damascus

Qorzm wrote: »

the Snuggie parts of that one episode of 30 Rock were the best

don't you have a slanket somewhere you should be filling up with your farts?

Larlar

Jordyn wrote: »

This is not a bathrobe.

It is a towel with slits in it.

so it's like some kind of towel woman

I hope it can't defend itself

Tanolen

Time to invent something that you put on your face to block out the light and help you sleep better.

moocow

Tanolen wrote: »

Time to invent something that you put on your face to block out the light and help you sleep better.

Behold the Pillmask!(tm)

It's a pillow, and a mask! Our patented "Pillow Strap"(tm) technology holds the pillow firmly on your head while you sleep. No more waking up with your second pillow beside you or on the dirty floor! Pillmask(tm) straps directly onto your very own head so that it won't fall off, no matter how you move when you sleep!*


*The makers of Pillmask(tm) are not responsible for smothering deaths in the case of Pillmask(tm) slipping and covering your mouth. Please do not use Pillmask(tm) while operating heavy machinery, if you have trouble waking up, or during sexual activity. Pillmask(tm) should not be taken orally or used as a suppository, it is not an actual pill.

Jedoc

The first twenty seconds of any infomercial are a glimpse into a nightmare realm. Pensive music plays over low-res monochrome footage of miserable people, suffering from massive nerve damage or mental disability or both, struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable. Straining the water from a pot of noodles becomes a heroic feat comparable to Hannibal's crossing of the alps, but there are no heroes to be found. Failure is assured, and your scenery-chewing family will scorn your ineptitude.

The vibrant color and fixed grins of the last act are a comfortable illusion. They have solved the problem of keeping a towel wrapped around themselves with their useless clublike flipper-hands, but the day has just begun. Soon, they will be required to fry eggs or remove a stain, and they are running perilously low on twenty-dollar bills. You can see the animal terror behind the eyes.

#pipe

Jedoc wrote: »

struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable.

JoeUser

Jedoc wrote: »

The first twenty seconds of any infomercial are a glimpse into a nightmare realm. Pensive music plays over low-res monochrome footage of miserable people, suffering from massive nerve damage or mental disability or both, struggling fruitlessly with the most simple tasks imaginable. Straining the water from a pot of noodles becomes a heroic feat comparable to Hannibal's crossing of the alps, but there are no heroes to be found. Failure is assured, and your scenery-chewing family will scorn your ineptitude.

The vibrant color and fixed grins of the last act are a comfortable illusion. They have solved the problem of keeping a towel wrapped around themselves with their useless clublike flipper-hands, but the day has just begun. Soon, they will be required to fry eggs or remove a stain, and they are running perilously low on twenty-dollar bills. You can see the animal terror behind the eyes.

There's some hard-boiled egg device commercial that comes on and has people spilling pots of boiling water, making horrible faces when they eat "homemade" hard-boiled eggs.

And I don't know if this is a new thing, but every infomercial now seems to give you two of whatever it is. I guess so you can give one as a crappy present?

TheySlashThem

I love infomercials

can I just say that

Mysst

Penguin Incarnate wrote: »

It's a forty-dollar bathrobe.

so it's the same price as a mid-quality bathrobe, then

TheySlashThem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CztvSpKdCeY

NotASenator

At Leanna's bridal dessert, she got a towel with elastic and velcro on the top. It's just like a regular towel, it just is a bit easier and you never have to fuck with it.

She seems to like it.

NotASenator

ThatDudeOverThere wrote: »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWRyj5cHIQA

That just sold me a slap chop.

Oh the wonders of autotune.


Related (NSFW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfYijyWMAjo

TheySlashThem

oh man some people have been answering steve porter's rap chop remix challenge

most of them are awful but this a good one

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMTQNf-wxlw