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Chicken under my doormat

FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
edited June 2009 in Social Entropy++
So this morning, my dad was going to get the newspaper

There was a strange lump under our doormat

Someone, in the night, had placed several pieces of raw chicken beneath the mat and smoothed it back over. They were still fresh

No smell, the ants had just found it

What does this mean

reposig.jpg
Fandyien on
«13

Posts

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] regular
    edited June 2009
    The user and all related content has been deleted.

    [Deleted User] on
  • CristovalCristoval Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It means you're eatin' good tonight.

    Cristoval on
  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    someone is calling you out

    Mysst on
    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    maybe it was a cat or something

    ack on
  • AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Ah, the weekly Fandy thread.

    Antimatter on
  • RobchamRobcham The Rabbit King of your pantsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    it was me

    Robcham on
  • J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Tell me... which parts of the chicken were under the mat? We talking wings or breast here

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ALSO I WISH NEW TIMERS WOULD STOP FINDING THIS FUNNY

    ack on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    your firstborn will be taken in the aaaah hell

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • ShimShamShimSham Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You're about to get tarred and feathered.

    ShimSham on
    QcGKhPm.jpg
  • matt has a problemmatt has a problem Points to 'off' Points to 'on'Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    It means you should put some carrots under there instead, so when they come back looking for their chicken they're confused.

    matt has a problem on
    nibXTE7.png
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    see if any wiccans set themselves on fire lately

    Faricazy on
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    ack wrote: »
    ALSO I WISH NEW TIMERS WOULD STOP FINDING THIS FUNNY
    smug_obama_huge.gif

    ack on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    J3p wrote: »
    Tell me... which parts of the chicken were under the mat? We talking wings or breast here

    Both

    is this some godfather shit

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    edited June 2009
    doesn't this mean his firstborn will be safe?

    or am I misremembering Exodus?

    don't blame me, blame the Episcopalians I grew up with

    MrMonroe on
  • J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Shit man.

    Wings and breast?

    Lock your doors and hide under the bed.

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
  • Sars_BoySars_Boy Rest, You Are The Lightning. Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    save the chicken

    throw it in the pot and simmer it for a while

    toss in some veggies and baby

    you got a stew going

    Sars_Boy on
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    have you offended any voodoo priests or priestesses lately

    Centipede Damascus on
  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    J3p wrote: »
    Tell me... which parts of the chicken were under the mat? We talking wings or breast here

    Both

    is this some godfather shit

    It was your prize chicken.

    Muggins on
    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • Punsie McKalePunsie McKale Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    sounds like some hard "cluck"

    Punsie McKale on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    for some reason i picture this happening in an apartment but i don't know why

    ack on
  • humblehumble Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    thats free bbq meat

    humble on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Throwing%20Bones.jpg

    The bones will tell us.

    Macro9 on
    58pwo4vxupcr.png
  • Muddy WaterMuddy Water Quiet Batperson Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Cat poop's about the worst I've found on my doorstep.

    Muddy Water on
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    it was really probably an animal

    could you see any other way

    ack on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    You gon' get dem voodoun on ya, boy. You gotta take you the bile of a snake and fill dat serpent mouth with rum you gon' git ridda dem hex, boy.

    Metzger Meister on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Abracadaniel on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Smart Hero, did you get that from something or are you just winging it?

    Metzger Meister on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    you haven't been having weird dreams lately, have you?

    ominous chanting voices? gigantic figures looming in shadows? outlandish architecture?

    Faricazy on
  • FletcherFletcher Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    somebody broke into my house last year

    they didn't take anything

    they just left a dead wallaby in my washing machine

    with its eyes cut out and a rope tied around its legs

    and then smeared blood everywhere

    i didn't sleep for weeks

    Fletcher on
  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Smart Hero, did you get that from something or are you just winging it?

    It's an original; I think people really just want Fandy to leave the nest and get out on his own.

    Abracadaniel on
  • J3pJ3p Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Maybe it's a sign of good cluck.

    J3p on
    +./\ 50 ?. 50
  • Punsie McKalePunsie McKale Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    I had to bury a baby deer that was rotting on our lawn a few days ago

    but that's because one of the dogs tore its throat and stomach out

    :(

    Punsie McKale on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    J3p wins.

    Abracadaniel on
  • FandyienFandyien But Otto, what about us? Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Yeah, I think I'm going insane (i haven't smoked weed in three days)
    ack wrote: »
    it was really probably an animal

    could you see any other way

    Animals don't place things carefully beneath doormats, smooth the doormat over, and not gnaw on the chicken or anything at all

    Fandyien on
    reposig.jpg
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Smart Hero, did you get that from something or are you just winging it?

    It's an original; I think people really just want Fandy to leave the nest and get out on his own.

    Well, we don't want him to put all his eggs in one basket. He needs to take it slow.


    edit: yeah, pun-time over, j3p is king of puns for this thread.

    Metzger Meister on
  • ackack Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Yeah, I think I'm going insane (i haven't smoked weed in three days)
    ack wrote: »
    it was really probably an animal

    could you see any other way

    Animals don't place things carefully beneath doormats, smooth the doormat over, and not gnaw on the chicken or anything at all

    yiou live with very impolite animals

    ack on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited June 2009
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Smart Hero wrote: »
    Someone is telling you to get out more often, being cooped up in your house all day isn't healthy for you.

    Smart Hero, did you get that from something or are you just winging it?

    It's an original; I think people really just want Fandy to leave the nest and get out on his own.
    smart hero, your behavior is beginning to border on eggregious.

    Faricazy on
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited June 2009
    Fandyien wrote: »
    So this morning, my dad was going to get the newspaper

    There was a strange lump under our doormat

    Someone, in the night, had placed several pieces of raw chicken beneath the mat and smoothed it back over. They were still fresh

    No smell, the ants had just found it

    What does this mean

    Let me put it this way:

    Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's 2?

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
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