The lovely Mully made this for my demo. Feedback particularly wanted on fonts but everything welcome. The shadow under the chin that looks like part of the beard has been removed since this version.
well for starters that is an extremely awkward gesture on that figure. It is very very stiff.
here is a quick and dirty sketch of something that looks a bit more believable.
Really the only thing that makes it look like a punch is the swoosh and it took me a few seconds to realize that wasnt just an abstract type design element. He looks like hes doing this fruity little jig in front of a bleeding clown.
A Star at the point of impact on the clown would help as well.
And The type is pretty boring and placed poorly.
Play with running the type along the swoosh of the punch or Just Justify it across the top or bottom. MAke it bolder.
Also value wise I think the clown needs to be pushed back.
Try ditching the uneven starburst background and turn it all black. Just let his shirt shape fall into the bg.. pop a rim light if you need it..
It took me half way through reading ken's post and boggling at his paintover to even pick up that the clown is being punched. Even now I'm still not sure that's what it's supposed to be. Looks more like he's being elbowed in the ribs.
The arc of movement we're looking at for this punch, original or the paintover seems a bit much as well. The actual graphic of the arc put on the cover makes it even more confusing since we expect it to adhere somewhat to perspective.
Personally I would put the hatted figure facing the other direction and have his position closer to just after the moment of impact and the follow through, rather than having him whirled around facing the other direction a moment later. I would also rethink the diagonal line elements in the background and redirect them, or use some other tack in the background to help funnel the eye towards a focal point near the point of impact.
He's in the direction that he is because I wanted the "swoosh" from the punch to be the slot for the album title, and the reason he is facing us is because he is the owner of the album itself. I had to pull back the elbow in such a way because it dragged attention away from the title, in my view.
Yeah, I didn't get it was a punch either, and have spent like 10 minutes trying to figure out how that punch would work. It doesn't help that the clown is leaning backward- as if he were punched straight in the nose- but the indicated arc means the punch would have landed on the side of his head, which would make him stumble sideways. The interaction between the figures is just generally really unclear, and the 'pain stars' and swoosh do nothing to improve the readability of the situation.
Like Scos was saying, you could get the punching guy to face the camera by having it be a right-handed punch going right to left horizontally, and have it still feel natural.
Having the album title in the swoosh is a good idea, but right now it's coming at a sacrifice to the piece as a whole; I don't feel that idea as executed currently is interesting enough compositionally to justify that tradeoff.
Personally- and I know this bites since you probably have already spent a good deal of time on this- the composition could stand to be reworked from the ground up on paper, to make sure all these ideas are being brought across effectively and unambiguously to the viewer.
Mully i am a fan of your usual stuff but i don't really feel this at all.
The randomized album cover thread yielded results ten times more interesting than this.
Most of what makes it less than awesome has been mentioned but i'd like to add that the colors are not really working.
Also the way he holds his hat is very awkward. usually your fingers are on the brim and your thumb is underneath. Try and stretch your fingers in a way that would fit under the brim of a hat you are wearing.
Normally a fan of Mully's stuff that I've seen but unfortunately this is not working on a variety of levels. :?
Right off the bat this looks like clip-art.
I couldn't see that it was a punch either and it just doesn't seem compositionally sound to me.
I also can't understand what is going on with the hand that is holding the hat - I mean, I can see that the wrist is open and outwards, with the fingers under the brim - but who holds a hat brim like that? It looks very unnatural.
The clown's ruff looks awful...
Not a fan the type, nor how it's layed out...
Also, if this is to be printed and this image is inclusive of bleed - then everything is too close to the edges.
I have to agree with Bacon, needs reworking from the ground up.
i am a little overbooked, is the problem
things i keep putting on the backburner for both work and other commissions that i shouldn't keep back there anymore
..hmm maybe i could do something simpler, though
like
a silhouette of him punching the clown
pulled out, from a distance
that might look pretty good
...if i get the punching stance right, haha
That is completely incredible. Could I possible get a version resized to 120 x 120mm which (I think) is the right size for a cd case. You're awesome man.
I really think if I got a pile of demos on my desk I'd look at that one over almost anything. Especially given that most demos have a picture of a dude holding a guitar and looking sad.
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here is a quick and dirty sketch of something that looks a bit more believable.
Really the only thing that makes it look like a punch is the swoosh and it took me a few seconds to realize that wasnt just an abstract type design element. He looks like hes doing this fruity little jig in front of a bleeding clown.
A Star at the point of impact on the clown would help as well.
And The type is pretty boring and placed poorly.
Play with running the type along the swoosh of the punch or Just Justify it across the top or bottom. MAke it bolder.
Also value wise I think the clown needs to be pushed back.
Try ditching the uneven starburst background and turn it all black. Just let his shirt shape fall into the bg.. pop a rim light if you need it..
Just suggestions hope something useful.
Right now though my intial impression was.. meh.
The arc of movement we're looking at for this punch, original or the paintover seems a bit much as well. The actual graphic of the arc put on the cover makes it even more confusing since we expect it to adhere somewhat to perspective.
Personally I would put the hatted figure facing the other direction and have his position closer to just after the moment of impact and the follow through, rather than having him whirled around facing the other direction a moment later. I would also rethink the diagonal line elements in the background and redirect them, or use some other tack in the background to help funnel the eye towards a focal point near the point of impact.
Like Scos was saying, you could get the punching guy to face the camera by having it be a right-handed punch going right to left horizontally, and have it still feel natural.
Having the album title in the swoosh is a good idea, but right now it's coming at a sacrifice to the piece as a whole; I don't feel that idea as executed currently is interesting enough compositionally to justify that tradeoff.
Personally- and I know this bites since you probably have already spent a good deal of time on this- the composition could stand to be reworked from the ground up on paper, to make sure all these ideas are being brought across effectively and unambiguously to the viewer.
Twitter
The randomized album cover thread yielded results ten times more interesting than this.
Most of what makes it less than awesome has been mentioned but i'd like to add that the colors are not really working.
Also the way he holds his hat is very awkward. usually your fingers are on the brim and your thumb is underneath. Try and stretch your fingers in a way that would fit under the brim of a hat you are wearing.
Right off the bat this looks like clip-art.
I couldn't see that it was a punch either and it just doesn't seem compositionally sound to me.
I also can't understand what is going on with the hand that is holding the hat - I mean, I can see that the wrist is open and outwards, with the fingers under the brim - but who holds a hat brim like that? It looks very unnatural.
The clown's ruff looks awful...
Not a fan the type, nor how it's layed out...
Also, if this is to be printed and this image is inclusive of bleed - then everything is too close to the edges.
I have to agree with Bacon, needs reworking from the ground up.
the thing is that it was all done in a bit of a rush, on an idea tube wanted to go forth with
id have to redo the entire thing to make it even half 'good'
bah
*smokes a cigar, sniffs cognac*
if that ...makes you feel better?
things i keep putting on the backburner for both work and other commissions that i shouldn't keep back there anymore
..hmm maybe i could do something simpler, though
like
a silhouette of him punching the clown
pulled out, from a distance
that might look pretty good
...if i get the punching stance right, haha
way to make me look useless :P
(that looks awesome)
I am jealous of that goatee.
i suggested that he use mine, faded out, inside to write the titles of the songs overtop of
thanks dmac
i am learning from you and your radness, you see
yes
and here i was feeling insulted anytime someone threw the term neckbeard around.
Oh happy day!
I think it's rediculous and awesome that you fired this out so quickly, bravo sir.
I laughed out loud.
DMAC this is crazy good. I have no crits, just ass pats.