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Going clubbing for the first time - UPDATE . pg 2
jasonlester
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Going clubbing for the first time ever, in about an hour. I've never been before. I think there's a pretty good reason I haven't, and I'm fairly certain I'm not going to have a good time. Either way, I'm going. So. Uh.
I imagine talking to anyone is going to be impossible. I'm going with my girlfriend and about 20 of her friends I haven't met before. Because I haven't been clubbing, I've never danced before.
What do I do?
Teach me how to be normal PA.
How do I dance? Anything important I should know? I'm not out-going/into dancing at all, so this is going to be hard for me.
I imagine talking to anyone is going to be impossible. I'm going with my girlfriend and about 20 of her friends I haven't met before. Because I haven't been clubbing, I've never danced before.
What do I do?
Teach me how to be normal PA.
How do I dance? Anything important I should know? I'm not out-going/into dancing at all, so this is going to be hard for me.
jasonlester on
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A few drinks, if you drink, will help. Depending on the type of club, and what you may or may not do regularly, never accept anything from people you don't know or just met.
Also, if your girlfriend or any of her friends are chill people, a good first time at the club is well spent sitting, drinking and bullshitting with friends, and observing the atmosphere, to help you become more cmfortable.
This will not happen.
Thank you though. Even though what you said is probably common sense to most, it actually helps immensely
I've never been to a club with my girlfriend, so going and talking with random girls is probably out of the question for a pass time.
There are seats and stuff at said club, I've been told 90% of the people are usually dancing though.
even if you dance horrendously, there will probably be enough people trying to thriller dance and moonwalk that you won't stand out
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Do you think people on ecstasy would be better or worse are moonwalking? I mean, it would look fantastic, to them, but would it actually suck?
it all depends on if they are good at dancing. If they suck normally, they'll still suck if thats what you mean
That...that doesn't help. It won't be too bad right? Guys?
No. Enjoy yourself, have some pretend sex with the GF, just be chill and it will be ok. but do go with a few shots. it helps with the self consciousness you sound like you might be having.
i'm the sort of person that doesn't usually enjoy clubbing
partly because i hate crowds, and partly because when i dance it looks like a spider having a seizure
but the two things i find that help are either
a) go overboard and force yourself to dance like its going out of style, so you get some adrenaline pumping and it becomes fun
b) get very very drunk, and then who cares what happens (the fandyien method)
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In my opinion you might as well do it. Honestly you have a leg up on lots of the people who go to clubs because you dont have to find someone to dance with. Who knows, you might find out you really enjoy it
Yeah, maybe. The last time I was drunk enough to dance (not at a club mind you) I ended up throwing up for 24 hours straight.
Also, assuming she just decides to dance with a girlfriend, and the other guys are single and dancing with other womens, what the hell am I meant to be doing? Just dancing..?
but eh if it does happen, you could always go grab a drink, go to the toilet, dance with one of her friends (assuming you've made introductions) etc.
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I don't think this will happen. She's not some girl you're friends with after all.
Also, since you're a lightweight, or dont keep alcohol down well, just stick to like 2-3 drinks.
BUT, yeah 2-3 drinks is probably a good idea considering I haven't had dinner because I feel like shit. Anxiety stomach fail.
It's sort of a trap, but if you can get past feeling too self-conscious it won't be that bad. Clubs are pretty much for women, men just go because women are there. Keep that in mind and don't be too uptight and everything will be cool. Drink liberally if you think it'll loosen you up
You have advantage because you are with your girl like you said, so that makes it way easier.
Any time I go though, I just drink and hang out with random people. You aren't obligated to "dance", either. I promise you there will be a bunch of guys just chilling out watching all the chicks gyrate on the dance floor just shooting the shit. Been to tons of these places and its all the same.
I never really was into the club scene but I do enjoy dancing, usually takes a couple drinks to get me on the dance floor but once I am there I will dance for hours. I dont really care if I look silly dancing as I am having fun doing it and if there is good beats then even better. Just go out have fun dance with your girl and be social, nothing sucks more than being the guy sitting at a table looking grumpy because he just KNOWS he is having an awful time.
Lighten up, dont get too drunk enjoy the music and company.
Thus endeth the lesson.
Don't go clubbing.
but they're listening to every word I say
YMMV, 'course.
Before you go, drink a bottle of water or gatorade.
Drink alcohol semi responsibly at least.
Avoid slap fights. Cops and bouncers are bad! you lose.
Go home, your gf will probably be frisky, unless you are a douchebag and do not dance.
enjoy frisky gf.
make sure you both drink a bottle of water or gatorade.
water!
(the water thing is because it will be hotter than hell in a club, and you will probably sweat your ass off. add in alcohol and you are extra dehydrated)
You say it as though it's a bad thing.
Can you keep a beat? If yes then you're golden. Move to the beat. At the beginning you'll feel kind of awkward about moving your arms (if that makes sense) and you'll probably look awkward doing a sort of T-Rex arm maneuver and holding your fingers like you're going to snap them. But, as the night goes on and you kind of flush that embarrassment out of your system and start having a good time you'll start to feel more of a part of the flow and your moves will become more natural.
The best thing you can do is flush out any worry about looking cool, realize that your girlfriend will probably help you out, but that you've got to give a little too so that you can open up. And, the biggest thing that I tell people that are spending way too much time next to my booth looking uneasy, is that they need to smile like a complete retard, laugh when they're doing something seriously, and get excited when they hear a good song (or when everyone else gets excited). Some athletes have to get psyched up for the game, some people have to build up their energy to get into the flow.
Hope that made some sense.
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Oh not at all. :winky:
And earplugs have the bonus of actually letting me hear what people say fairly well without them being drowned out by the bass.
I wanted to lime this whole post, but instead I just limed the parts that made me think so fucking true. I'm not the kind of person you would expect to be dancing in any kind of scene, but the first time I was forced into it something clicked, and I had a lot of fun.
The key is to not worry about what anyone else is doing -- yes, you're going to be surrounded by a bunch of drunk and horny people who you would not usually want anything to do with, but who cares -- and to not worry about what anyone thinks you're doing -- they're all too drunk and horny to pay attention anyways. If you can relax and enjoy yourself, the adrenaline from the music and the endorphins from the exercise will put you in a very good mood.
Man, that HIMYM episode is pretty relevant here too.
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If it's a hip-hop clubscene bullshit club, there is a much higher chance of total fuckwads being there. Generally though don't fuck with people, if you bump them just kinda give em a wave and keep going. There will be people out looking to fight or who have short tempers (at the clubscene hip-hop clubs, I don't see unhappy fighters are rave scenes), so stay clear of them, because I'm sure the angry fighter kid in the bar is worrying you in the back of your head somewhere.
People getting shot and stabbed in clubs on a daily basis is a myth unless you're going to a total dirthole.
I'm glad other people are jumping in here, you're getting some pretty sound advice, but to sum it up:
1) have fun, no-one cares what you're doing as long as you're not messing with their night, and
2) don't be self-concious, it's not like you're going there to pick up a girl, so you can look like a douche if you want to.
3) drink!
If you don't like being active you are in trouble.
Uh-oh I accidentally deleted my signature. Uh-oh!!
If this bothers you or whatever, it's time to talk to her about it.
Otherwise have fun, pace your drinking. I find one double shot and one beer to start off, then a beer every hour or so to keep it going. You don't want to be the guy taking off his shirt at 8pm or something. Also, take a break and walk to a convenient store with your girlfriend to bullshit and enjoy yourselves and buy a couple bottles of water. Don't pay the 8$ for 10oz water they will charge in a club.
Anyway, have a couple drinks, do what uncle long says, try to get through it and hopefully enjoy yourself a little. You are lucky to be going with a girlfriend who (presumably) is a little more familiar with the scene, so you can dance with her at first if you are super uncomfortable.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Well, thanks guys for all the advice. We didn't end up actually going to a club because everyone was too tired. I'm actually quite glad. We went to a bar instead. It was terrible.
I pretty much got ditched the entire night with these people I haven't met before. Great. I usually have panic attacks and really bad anxiety, but I held myself pretty well. It was probably a good thing. I'm a bit pissed off though. Felt like I was more a friend than her boyfriend, I didn't really talk to her all night. Maybe I'm being a needy bitch, but still. She touched her ex-boyfriend more than she touched me.
I was fairly toasted though, ended up driving home. Terrible terrible. If we had've gone to the club, I'd imagine it would've been exponentially worse.
Feels like this H/A thread is going down another path :P
Thanks guys.