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  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Perhaps the horn I had was not big enough for you for I remember that you bent down to me face and murmured tenderly "Fuck up, love! Fuck up, love!"

    Organichu on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Feral wrote: »
    Wow, Joyce was a fart fetishist.

    Joyce was an assman in general. He was intrigued/mortified by defecation and urination in general. Think of all the ways that young Daedalus wets himself or smells the brothels in Portrait.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I don't think I've ever called a woman "fuckbird."

    But by god, I'm going to start.

    And if she complains, I'll just say, "Go read some Joyce, my uncultured fuckbird."

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Oh, are we posting it now?


    "...is a mass of slime and your body wriggling wildly."

    Nerdgasmic on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    moniker wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    I'm really enjoying having money in my pocket. It's only $7.50 an hour but it's 40 hours a week.

    I really need to just man up and sell my Macbook and camera and guitar and 360 and monitor and pay off St. John's and go back to school because I'll never, ever be happy doing what I'm doing.

    But I'm a pussy and change is scary so whatever!

    Employers suck because they take forever to let you know if they're going to hire you/accept your free labour or not.

    What the fuck, it's been 2 weeks. Why won't you let me do your job for free already?

    It's time for me to be honest and say I have no idea in the world what you're saying here. I have this job. I'm being paid for it. I'm just saying it only pays $7.50 an hour and I simply am not happy doing it (not at that payrate, anyway)... and so I want to enrich my money making ability. Ergo college.

    Organichu on
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    My sweet little whorish Nora I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I am delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora's fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also.

    MikeMan on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    moniker wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    I'm really enjoying having money in my pocket. It's only $7.50 an hour but it's 40 hours a week.

    I really need to just man up and sell my Macbook and camera and guitar and 360 and monitor and pay off St. John's and go back to school because I'll never, ever be happy doing what I'm doing.

    But I'm a pussy and change is scary so whatever!

    Employers suck because they take forever to let you know if they're going to hire you/accept your free labour or not.

    What the fuck, it's been 2 weeks. Why won't you let me do your job for free already?

    I hate employers who wait three months after you've submitted your resume to call you, and then act all pissy when you can't just drop what you're doing and see them tomorrow morning.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Feral wrote: »
    I don't think I've ever called a woman "fuckbird."

    But by god, I'm going to start.

    And if she complains, I'll just say, "Go read some Joyce, my uncultured fuckbird."

    I've called women worse, though I stopped.

    Also: Maybe he was just really into Chaucer.

    Incenjucar on
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    that's all me, from an AOL chat room in 1999 with a 15/f/tx

    MikeMan on
  • monikermoniker Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Feral wrote: »
    I don't think I've ever called a woman "fuckbird."

    But by god, I'm going to start.

    And if she complains, I'll just say, "Go read some Joyce, my uncultured fuckbird."

    So you're saying Mark Sanford could learn a thing or two about writing e-mails from him?

    moniker on
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    MikeMan wrote: »
    that's all me, from an AOL chat room in 1999 with a 15/f/tx

    I think you got it wrong. She was 15/tx/f.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Moniker, are you saying that emails from Mark Sanford regarding his mistress have been released?


    Or are you just saying that because Sanford uses the euphemism "crossing the ultimate line"?

    Nerdgasmic on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    My theory is that Joyce had a rather small dick and that Norah really loved him (by all evidence, they were more or less madly in love with eachother their whole loves -- Joyce's philandering aside) and she really played up his ability to fuck her. There's a reason his letters are so triumphant.

    Apparently, Malcolm had such a small penis that it drove him into depression, and the only way that he was ever able to write under the volcano was by the sexual encouragement his wife gave him.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    "You seem anxious to know how I received your letter which you say is worse than mine. How is it worse than mine, love? Yes, it is worse in one part or two. I mean the part where you say what you will do with your tongue (I don't mean sucking me off)"


    This will haunt me.

    Nerdgasmic on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    World needs more writers with huge cocks.

    Incenjucar on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Ok, so enough of me being self-depreciating. Throwing some thoughts around. If I were to make an appointment with a school counselor (from, say, PSU- my SAT was decent for main campus, easy entry for satellite campuses), and basically lay it out:mom and pop died right before my first year of school, I couldn't hack it. I'm in debt (none of it consumer), and I have been gainfully employed almost without pause since leaving school... I want to seek an education at your school. Is there anything you can do for me?

    Could something like this actually work or would it be "abloo abloo shut up maggot go apply and pay like everyone else"?

    Organichu on
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Guys I went mini golfing today and I lost. Now I am depressed and will write letters about angry golf sex to women and Podly will think I'm a genius.

    deadonthestreet on
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    it went something like this

    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: hey
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: hey
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: asl
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: 14/m/nj u??
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: 15/f/tx
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: wat r u wearing
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: short skirt, t shirt
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: helo?
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: The two parts of your body which do dirty things are the loveliest to me. I prefer your arse, darling, to your bubbies because it does such a dirty thing. I love your cunt not so much because it is the part I block but because it does another dirty thing. I could lie frigging all day looking at the divine word you wrote and at the thing you said you would do with your tongue. I wish I could hear your lips spluttering those heavenly exciting filthy words, see your mouth making dirty sounds and noises, feel your body wriggling under me, hear and smell the dirty fat girlish farts going pop pop out of your pretty bare girlish bum and fuck fuck fuck fuck my naughty little hot fuckbird's cunt for ever.
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: wat
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: My sweet darling girl At last you write to me! You must have given that naughty little cunt of yours a most ferocious frigging to write me such a disjointed letter. As for me, darling, I am so played out that you would have to lick me for a good hour before I could get a horn stiff enough even to put into you, to say nothing of blocking you. I have done so much and so often that I am afraid to look to see how that thing I had is after all I have done to myself. Darling, please don't fuck me too much when I go back. Fuck all you can out of me for the first night or so but make me get myself cured. The fucking must all be done by you, darling as I am so small and soft now that no girl in Europe except yourself would waste her time trying the job. Fuck me, darling, in as many new ways as your lust will suggest. Fuck me dressed in your full outdoor costume with your hat and veil on, your face flushed with the cold and wind and rain and your boots muddy, either straddling across my legs when I am sitting in a chair and riding me up and down with the frills of your drawers showing and my cock sticking up stiff in your cunt or riding me over the back of the sofa. Fuck me naked with your hat and stockings on only flat on the floor with a crimson flower in your hole behind, riding me like a man with your thighs between mine and your rump very fat. Fuck me in your dressing gown (I hope you have that nice one) with nothing on under it, opening it suddenly and showing me your belly and thighs and back an pulling me on top of you on the kitchen table. Fuck me into you arseways, lying on your face on the bed, with your hair flying loose naked but with a lovely scented pair of pink drawers opened shamelessly behind and half sleeping down over your peeping bum. Fuck me on the stairs in the dark, like a nursery-maid fucking her soldier, unbuttoning his trousers gently and slipping her hand in his fly and fiddling with his shirt and feeling it getting wet and then pulling it gently up and fiddling with his two bursting balls and at last pulling out boldly the mickey she loves to handle and frigging it for him softly, murmuring into his ear dirty words and dirty stories that other girls told her and dirty things she said, and all the time pissing her drawers with pleasure and letting off soft warm quiet little farts behind until her own girlish cockey is as stiff as his and suddenly sticking him up in her and riding him.
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: ok

    MikeMan on
  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies drinking coffee in the mountain cabinRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    Wait, does that article call Kafka Kafkaesque?

    I heard a football commentator remark that in a certain play, Jake Locker was Lockeresque.

    Powerpuppies on
    sig.gif
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    World needs more writers with huge cocks.

    They become comedians.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Should be scholarships available for you due to hardships and loans should be easy to come by?

    Incenjucar on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Podly wrote: »
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    World needs more writers with huge cocks.

    They become comedians.

    No they fuck female comedians.

    You're thinking of kids who got beat up a lot and could never grow enough muscle to defend themselves physically.

    Incenjucar on
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Spoiler that, Mike, I wasn't finished yet and now you've ruined it for me.

    Nerdgasmic on
  • PodlyPodly you unzipped me! it's all coming back! i don't like it!Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The general meme is that comedians tend to be very well endowed.

    Podly on
    follow my music twitter soundcloud tumblr
    9pr1GIh.jpg?1
  • FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    MikeMan wrote: »
    it went something like this

    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: hey
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: hey
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: asl
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: 14/m/nj u??
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: 15/f/tx
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: wat r u wearing
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: short skirt, t shirt
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: helo?
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: The two parts of your body which do dirty things are the loveliest to me. I prefer your arse, darling, to your bubbies because it does such a dirty thing. I love your cunt not so much because it is the part I block but because it does another dirty thing. I could lie frigging all day looking at the divine word you wrote and at the thing you said you would do with your tongue. I wish I could hear your lips spluttering those heavenly exciting filthy words, see your mouth making dirty sounds and noises, feel your body wriggling under me, hear and smell the dirty fat girlish farts going pop pop out of your pretty bare girlish bum and fuck fuck fuck fuck my naughty little hot fuckbird's cunt for ever.
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: wat
    l337mIkEm4nsn1p3r: My sweet darling girl At last you write to me! You must have given that naughty little cunt of yours a most ferocious frigging to write me such a disjointed letter. As for me, darling, I am so played out that you would have to lick me for a good hour before I could get a horn stiff enough even to put into you, to say nothing of blocking you. I have done so much and so often that I am afraid to look to see how that thing I had is after all I have done to myself. Darling, please don't fuck me too much when I go back. Fuck all you can out of me for the first night or so but make me get myself cured. The fucking must all be done by you, darling as I am so small and soft now that no girl in Europe except yourself would waste her time trying the job. Fuck me, darling, in as many new ways as your lust will suggest. Fuck me dressed in your full outdoor costume with your hat and veil on, your face flushed with the cold and wind and rain and your boots muddy, either straddling across my legs when I am sitting in a chair and riding me up and down with the frills of your drawers showing and my cock sticking up stiff in your cunt or riding me over the back of the sofa. Fuck me naked with your hat and stockings on only flat on the floor with a crimson flower in your hole behind, riding me like a man with your thighs between mine and your rump very fat. Fuck me in your dressing gown (I hope you have that nice one) with nothing on under it, opening it suddenly and showing me your belly and thighs and back an pulling me on top of you on the kitchen table. Fuck me into you arseways, lying on your face on the bed, with your hair flying loose naked but with a lovely scented pair of pink drawers opened shamelessly behind and half sleeping down over your peeping bum. Fuck me on the stairs in the dark, like a nursery-maid fucking her soldier, unbuttoning his trousers gently and slipping her hand in his fly and fiddling with his shirt and feeling it getting wet and then pulling it gently up and fiddling with his two bursting balls and at last pulling out boldly the mickey she loves to handle and frigging it for him softly, murmuring into his ear dirty words and dirty stories that other girls told her and dirty things she said, and all the time pissing her drawers with pleasure and letting off soft warm quiet little farts behind until her own girlish cockey is as stiff as his and suddenly sticking him up in her and riding him.
    xXxchickiegurll15xXx: ok

    Report for awesome? [y/n]

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Change mike's username to "Xx2Great2GatsbyxX" and then report it for awesome.

    Nerdgasmic on
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    (I hope you have that nice one)
    That was the best part

    deadonthestreet on
  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies drinking coffee in the mountain cabinRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Feral wrote: »

    Report for awesome? [y/n]

    n

    Powerpuppies on
    sig.gif
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The "ok" is the best part.

    Incenjucar on
  • WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Mike <3

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    Spoiler that, Mike, I wasn't finished yet and now you've ruined it for me.
    i'll ruin your face

    MikeMan on
  • deadonthestreetdeadonthestreet Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Should be scholarships available for you due to hardships and loans should be easy to come by?
    The increase in availability of student loans has served to drive up tuition at absurd rates.

    deadonthestreet on
  • OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Should be scholarships available for you due to hardships and loans should be easy to come by?

    Well, I have a consolidated federal loan (in good standing) to the tune of about $6,300, and then a direct debt owed to St. John's of about $5,200 or so. Per my understanding I need to repay the latter (and the former can go into deferment upon returning to school). If I live ascetically and pay off my debt to SJU... fuck, man. That's a year with absolutely no new possessions, no new college credits... just some college going "ok we'll release your transcript".

    But why the fuck do I even need my transcript? I received no credits!

    Man, this shit is frustrating.

    Organichu on
  • PowerpuppiesPowerpuppies drinking coffee in the mountain cabinRegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Okay nerd is correct. With the name change it becomes awesome.

    Powerpuppies on
    sig.gif
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    Well, I've reported it.

    Nerdgasmic on
  • MikeManMikeMan Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    aw yiss<3

    MikeMan on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Woo, two more games and two more victories under the belt of my dwarves.

    And more importantly a mound of casualties for the other teams in the league.

    Inquisitor on
  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited July 2009
    If I'd play Blood Bowl, I would totally play with Orcs.


    We'd be called Da Boyz

    Nerdgasmic on
  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Just noticed the one piece thread...

    Holy crap could the proportions on the women in that show be any more insane?

    Inquisitor on
  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Incenjucar wrote: »
    Should be scholarships available for you due to hardships and loans should be easy to come by?
    The increase in availability of student loans has served to drive up tuition at absurd rates.

    ...Someone needs to be injured for this.

    Incenjucar on
This discussion has been closed.