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Help me with my fear of driving.
KING LITERATE
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I am the only one in my immediate family who can't drive. I often have "bad fantasies" of me losing control of the steering wheel on a highway, and a truck or car hitting me while I'm changing lanes on a highway... And me making a ridiculously wide turn and getting my car sideswiped in the process. It doesn't help that the person teaching me is nervous and won't shut the fuck up and calm down...
What should I do, Internet? I'm 21, and I already feel like I've missed out on pretty much half my life (and possibly more) because of this fear..:(
What should I do, Internet? I'm 21, and I already feel like I've missed out on pretty much half my life (and possibly more) because of this fear..:(
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Seriously, just attend a driving school and get it over with. Its really easy.
That's the thing. Due to financial problems, I can no longer get lessons (and I truly felt like I was making progress)
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You know what else you should be anxious about? Walking. Do you know that when you're walking, you're in a nearly constant state of imbalance? That if, in your walk cycle, you froze solid at any point, you'd tip right over and injure yourself? You must be terrified about this sort of thing all the time.
Hell, in a car if you take your feet off all the pedals the worst that will happen is that you'll glide to a stop eventually.
But of course you probably don't worry about walking. Driving is not natural, it's learned. It takes a few weeks or months to do it competently and perhaps years for it to become completely natural, just like walking. However, literally hundreds of millions of people, of all ages, skill levels, and levels of coordination, do it without a thought every day. What makes you special?
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Just wait until you've got the cash for some lessons from a pro, and go with that. Or find someone to teach you that isn't a neurotic mess. Who's teaching you now, a family member or a friend? Swap out.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
Aside from that, you just have to drive the best that you can. Chances are slim, unless you're driving an old junker, that you'll lose control on your own and not be able to stop. Worst case I can think of of the top of my head is blowing a tire, but even then. If you know what to do, its no problem. You just need to stay calm.
If you're driving the best you can you only have to worry about other people being dumbasses. And there isn't much you can do about that aside from regocnizing situations and dangers and getting away from them. If you're worried about merging into another car you should practice looking over your shoulder while merging, looking in your mirrors, and keeping yourself in a place where you are aware of all the cars around you.
My.. My mom...
Go ahead and laugh it up
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My mom taught me and I had many of the same issues, the fear. Unfortunately I don't really have any helpful advice, I just kinda sucked it up and dealt with it. Oh, plus my uncle took me out driving and he's WAY more chill then my mom.
Yeah, driving is dangerous. But it's a calculated risk, and by not taking it, you're seriously handicapping yourself in many spheres of life.
Get someone else to teach you - there's got to be someone else willing to help. If not, tell your mom (as diplomatically as possible) that you need her help, but she's making it very hard for you or whatever.
Good luck.
Edit - It's been awhile since I learned to drive (and shit, now I feel all old) but I don't remember driving lessons being more than like $20-30 an hour. If that's not in your budget, I would posit that you've got more serious obstacles than a fear of driving. Shit, get your folks to loan you the money or something, especially if not being able to drive is holding you back as far as work is concerned.
Get your father, an extended family member, a friend, or someone else to teach you. Just get her out of the passenger side, since she's just making things worse right now.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
*Again, go ahead and laugh it up
EDIT:
My dad's dead.
If I could just get a job, this wouldn't be a problem.
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I'm sure you have another family member or experienced* friend that can teach you.
*The guy with more stickers than horsepower, the sideways ballcap, and 3" exhaust tip? BAD CHOICE.
The guy with the old beater sedan and no tickets? Good choice.
Can trade TF2 items or whatever else you're interested in. PM me.
Or just get some other friend or family member to teach you.
On the day I took the test, he had me drive in lunch time rush hour traffic on the busiest freeway in the area. Sometimes you just have to do it and get it over with. I had an ex who was terrified of driving on the freeways, so I convinced her to just get on and then off whilst staying in the lane for as long as it would last. Not even to merge with the rest of the traffic. She got over it eventually.
Like everybody else says, get somebody else to help you learn because your mom isn't helping things. The 'fantasies' and fears will lessen over time as you get used to how driving a car works. Some good news is that if you spent much time riding a bicycle and reading how traffic flowed, it'll help you in reading traffic whilst driving. As long as you don't develop the bad 'blinders' habit that other motorists tend to develop. Being aware of your surroundings is probably one of the most important things in driving.
Do not engage the Watermelons.
One of the major things to realize about driving is that you can only control your own actions, and worrying about everyone else is pointless. Shit happens. I've been in 3 accidents in 11 years of driving. One was caused by someone speeding while chatting to friends, another was by someone on their cell phone, and the last was a rear-ending at a stop sign. I had no way of preventing any of them, because the idiots in the other cars were distracted. As long as you take your time and pay attention, you'll be fine.
I really didn't enjoy it, but you need the lessons for simple shit like why your mirrors are set the way they are, what the dmv will test you on. It's someone you can ask questions of who wont be yelling at you and making up answers.
As with anything, your best bet is just to do it until it doesn't scare you anymore.
Instead, remind them that a certificate from a driving school will get them a reduced rate on their car insurance, and pay for itself and then some in a fairly short amount of time. This works better if you're at home planning to drive their car, but even at 21 you could still make good.
I know I have to go back.
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