Wedding Gift!

BlochWave

I guess this'll mark the first wedding I've been to of non-related people at an age where I'm expected to get something

Anyhoo, the bride moved down here at the start of the year for work and I'm probably one of her best friends in the area, so I'd like to get something that's not too generic, but I also don't know what an appropriate amount of money to spend is (I'd hate to accidentally outdo all her actual childhood friends and stuff), or, well, what to get that isn't too generic. She does like wine, but I know nothing of it. Feed me your knowledge! FEED ME RARRARGHGGH

Susan Delgado

Are they registered at any stores already? Getting something you know they want takes a lot of pressure off of finding the "perfect" gift, and you know they'll love it because ta-da! they already picked it out

BlochWave

Hah, I didn't think of that. The wedding is somewhat distant, it had just crossed my mind, so maybe not.

They are getting married on the other side of the country though...would I have to find the store over there or do they register at a chain...?

Chanus

If they registered at a chain, you should be able to shop from home.

Susan Delgado

A lot of people these days are registering at shops that have online outlets... some friends of mine just got hitched and were registered at Macy's, Crate & Barrel, and Pottery Barn...if they have a wedding website set up they'll probably have links to the stores they've registered at or at least a list. Most places like this also have a search where you can just enter the wedding party name and view what they've selected, plus it tells you if the item has already been purchased or not.

Deebaser

Go to google and put the bride and grooms names + registry into google. with minor tweaking their registry will pop up.

The standard for most weddings ive been to has been $100 gift, doubled with guest. This is subject to adjustment though.

RUNN1NGMAN

Yeah, find out where they are registered, and just get something off that. You know you're getting them something they want that way. One cool thing to do if they have a registry is buy a whole bunch of the all the little things like kitchen utensils and dish towels. People tend to overlook all that stuff because they want to get something really showy, but all that little stuff is going to get used literally every single day.

DasBoot

When my close friends have gotten married I usually get some stuff off the registry and then something more personalized to my relationship with the people. In one case I bought Settlers of Catan and Ticket to Ride for my roommate's wedding because a bunch of us used to play my copies of the games when I lived with him. For my other friend I bought him every Madden game up to 2001 so he could complete his set for his wedding. These gifts were in addition to stuff off their registry. I think I limited myself at $200 each. All in all I received praise for going outside the reg.

Figgy

It's becoming more and more common to simply give money, even when there is a gift registry.

I've been to three weddings this season alone, with three more to go. I've never seen more than two or three wrapped gifts on the table at the end of the night--the rest are envelopes dropped into the card box.

And $100 per person is the standard gift amount.

onceling

Gonna go against the grain here about giving cash. If you know the bride and groom well and they were like "man registry sucks but you gotta do it, we're just going broke with all the wedding expenses!" then yeah, cash is great.

But if a bride and groom go to meticulous detail in picking things they want for a registry, and people show up with cash it just reeks "couldn't be fucked planning an hour to go to the store for you, here's some cash from the ATM that I got on the way over".

So you know, use your discretion. There's a lot of brides and grooms that can definitely use the cash and want the cash (in fact in some cultures it's expected, my Italian friend I was a bridesmaid for is one). Especially if there was a wedding shower beforehand where a lot of the usual kitchen stuff was exchanged.

But if they have a registry that looks more than half-baked, I'd say use it, or at least compliment their choice by getting something related to it.

Figgy

Italian families definately expect cash rather than gifts, but just because there is a registry doesn't mean you need to use it. Often times, the store employee who helped the bridge/groom with the registry influenced their decisions (salespeople, after all) and half the stuff on there was an impulse click/scan.

If you give cash, chances are they will get more from you (are you going to buy $100 worth of tea towels and spatulas or just pick something around $80-$90?) Also, they can just go buy the stuff they really need, or use the cash to pay off the wedding debt.

Giving cash does not in any way say you're too lazy to use the registry. That's nonsense.

Eat it You Nasty Pig.

I think cash is fine, but tradition dictates shopping for a gift. So it probably depends on how cool you think the couple is with accepting cash vs. tradition.

Also, I've always thought that if you know them well it's more fun to get something memorable. I had two good friends getting married before going into the army, and we got them a pair of k-bars with 'his' and 'hers' engraved near the hilts.