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Advice for a Comic of humorous proportions.

SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
edited August 2009 in Artist's Corner
A freind of mine has badgered me into doing these over the last few years. things he wrote and I drew.
So I finally bit the bullet and did a couple, I'm really not good at photoshop colouring, I figure I should just practice till I get it right.

I'd love some opinions, Crits, and advice to improve.

Seeing as its a pretty relaxed project, these are more for funs sake than anything.


mandalorianaccountant1.jpg




unsungheroes3.jpg



awesomefett.jpg



As you can see I really suck at Photoshop, but this isnt my usual style.

Seiphon on

Posts

  • GrennGrenn Registered User
    edited July 2009
    Hand draw the text.

    I think you've got a decent drawing style and the text was the first thing that jumped out at me - unfortunately due to looking very much 'photoshopped on'.

    Hand draw it and i'll all look a million times better imo! 8-)

    Grenn on
  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    was that for the comic or the T-shirt design? I know either way, both should be hand drawn, hand drawn Text is almost always better.


    I forgot this one.

    clonedtokillcolour.jpg

    this was my first attempt at photoshop colouring in this "Style"

    Seiphon on
  • Radar6590Radar6590 Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    You've got fairly good drawings, and your comic is pretty funny. Though, there are so many good gaming comics already and I'm not sure if you can base all of your jokes on Star Wars. That would get repetitive.

    As you've surmised, your worst trait s your coloring. Even down to basic things, like the explosion in the second comic. Warmer fire is yellow, the warmest being blue, and "cooler" fire is red, so the yellow should be in the center, the red on the outside of the explosion. It's a common mistake, because red is such a "warm" color.

    Either your colors are flat, or when you color, you use what's called "shading to black". That is, you simply select a darker version of the "base color" or your "flat color" and airbrush it on. A better way to do it is to work shadows into "cooler" colors. Cool colors being green,, blue, and violet, while warm colors are red, orange, and yellow. There are many "in betweens". Violet is warmer than blue, incorporating red into it.

    There's a lot to color theory (hard light, soft light, color palettes, defining form, light sources, backlighting, etc), and a lot to drawing figures. I can't go over it all here, but here's a good tutorial to get you started.

    http://www.itchstudios.com/psg/art_tut.htm

    Radar6590 on
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  • KendeathwalkerKendeathwalker Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Do you have any other subjects outside of video games that interest you? If your comic focused on any of them it would immediately get much more interesting as far as writing. Your seriously just dumping more salt into the ocean with another game comic. You could take daily events from your life fabricate or enhance funny situations based upon them.....

    Kendeathwalker on
  • MaximasXXZMaximasXXZ Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I agree, I really like your artwork. I don't like more videogame/nerds comics.

    MaximasXXZ on
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  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The text in the comic just doesn't work. Handdrawn would be best, but another font would also work. And alternatively, less text - just bigger.

    Visti on
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  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    Thanks for all your responses, I'll give that tutorial a more thourogh looking over. . . . it so is a boob.

    Its meant to be more based on tabletop gaming more than video gaming, mainly because we feel that the tabletop gaming comics that weve seen are, well, more than lacking.

    But I do agree,I also think it would benefit from a few more that are not focused on gaming/tabletoping. Though I'm not a writer, at least, not a competant one.

    Seiphon on
  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    this is more what I'm used to doing...

    romane.jpg

    columbo.jpg

    candp.jpg

    candp1.jpg

    forkinthefordlow.jpg

    Seiphon on
  • sgt scruffiansgt scruffian Registered User
    edited July 2009
    I like your art, but you've got to work on your text as well as writing and templates. Others have already pointed out that the font needs to be changed. What I noticed, though, is that your comics come across as very wordy. In some places this is because you have too many speech bubbles in one panel. While in other panels you have only one bubble where two bubbles would encourage the reader to continue.

    Your layout in the second comic in particular is overly complicated. Showing the two main characters talking about the classes doesn't add anything. With two identical opinions and goals, knowing that Guy With Bad Haircut A is describing one and Guy With Bad Haircut B is describing the other doesn't provide any kind of necessary flair to the comic. You could just as easily pull those panels together and eliminate the images of the guys. This would save a lot of space and make the comic appear shorter, thus increasingly the likeliness that people will read it.

    In a comic book this might be a nice flair to prevent the reader from getting bored with the same panel layout repeated on every page, but with web comics you have to realize that each comic is being read individually. Also, most of your readers will be at work when they read your stuff and looking to spend as little time/effort on getting their daily laugh as possible.

    I didn't even read the stuff you just posted because I have no idea where to start reading or where I would go to after I started. That's bad.

    So, I'm done being wordy. You've got a good base here, roll with it, practice, etc. Don't give up!

    This has been Hypocritical Judgment On A Web Comic by a Guy Who Isn't Making Web Comics with your narrator Sgt Scruffian.

    sgt scruffian on
    randomSecondPanel.php
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Edit: I should probably elaborate on what I said a bit more.

    The first comics you posted are extremely hard to read, so in turn I did not bother to read them. It's probably a combination of the font you used, mixed with squeezing way too many words into bubbles that are too small. Readability is near the very top of the list of basic things that are required to get people interested in a comic. People will just pass on it, if it hurts their eyes to read it.

    On the subject of the comic itself, the basis of it is so done to death that it's impossible to get excited about about a comic with Star Wars geeks. Unless it's well written I guess, but this goes back to the hassle to read problem. Also, just looking at the amount of words, I can tell you there's too many. To the point is always better than needlessly wordy.

    That cloned to kill helmet struck me as both awesome and well rendered! I like it.

    I also like the art in the last post much more than the original webcomic. It's much looser and it has a nice energy. However, in comic form it's kinda hard to follow where I'm supposed to be reading because it's all over the place. Maybe a combination of the two styles of the comics you posted? The new one reminds me of the style of 30 days night, which looks cool, but I found reading the graphic novels were just too loose artistically. I don't know, it's all just preferences though.

    earthwormadam on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Yup, the text blows, I really struggled to read it and there were a lot of words, so total chore.

    The art is nice, i'm not a huge fan of the style but there are plenty of others that are.

    Mustang on
  • MindsackMindsack Registered User
    edited July 2009
    Lovin' the style, reminds me of adventure bros.

    That columbo would make a cool tshirt. I like the text done by hand in the bloody comics, but beyond looking good it's still hard to read though it might look better at a larger resolution.

    Mindsack on
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  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The style is excellent, and you have very good ideas, but there could be slightly better execution in the Mandalorian accounts comic, you could probably have a couple of mandalorian jobs comics really.

    But the text is too small, so fixing that ought to be priority

    The Black Hunter on
  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    thanks for all those responses! Going over it with my writer, he agrees on pretty much every point.

    ....the only thing that I never though of before was putting Columbo on a T-shirt, that just blows my mind.

    Seiphon on
  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I would buy it.

    Visti on
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  • JerikTelorianJerikTelorian Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Your first comic about the Mandalorian accountant was pretty awesome. It has that sort of quiet absurdist humor. Quite nice!

    EDIT: Frankly, I think a comic about a mandalorian accountant would be positively hilarious. I'd buy that shit up.

    JerikTelorian on
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  • MindsackMindsack Registered User
    edited July 2009
    Lol i just saw the "Freezing your interest rates in carbonite!" poster.

    I claim royalties on columbo shirt :D

    Mindsack on
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  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    A small update, using handwritten text, cutting down the speech and making a bit bigger. Also a more universal subject.

    ebayfin2.jpg

    colouring is still not improving, at least, not that I can see. Am I keeping it too simple? Or does that work better than if I try and do multi-levels of shading and lighting, I dont want it looking like a polished turd after all.

    Seiphon on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    No, I don't mind the art as is, but the image is kinda big for a three panel webcomic. The joke also falls really flat at the end, especially in comparison to the second panel which was at least mildly funny.

    Actually, now that I look at it, just by removing the last panel this strip becomes 150% better. And it wouldn't break the H scroll.

    earthwormadam on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    yeah, the last panel pretty much kills it.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    do you think theres anyway I can make it be funny? I'm not talking putting a gun to your head and saying "laugh bitch! LAUGH!" More along the line of changing the wording, personally I think its a funny idea, maybe I killed it in the execution?

    Seiphon on
  • ManonvonSuperockManonvonSuperock Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    I think you have a gritty quality to your work that makes me want to see something that rivals the drinking-related stories I've actually known people to go through.

    The ebay gag is just way too mundane for it. I'm expecting Adult Swim and you're giving me Zits.

    The most miraculous thing about it is the less-than-18-hour turn around time from ordering to delivery and the "ebay"-marked boxes even though ebay purchases come from individual sellers and the packaging varies drastically.

    ManonvonSuperock on
  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Yeah, I thought you pretty much had a free pass to go crazy on the last panel and it ended up less interested and humourous than any real crazy drinking story I've heard and this is fiction. With the clothes, I expected him to be in fucking China, in a panda enclosure or pulling a goddamn rickshaw or something.

    I would amp it up a bit.


    But the art is great. I really like it. Goodlooking and consistent.

    edit: Also, any reason he's holding a pen in the first panel and a shirt in the last?

    Visti on
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  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    that would be pretty hilarious, just amp up the absurdity meter a bit eh? This is based on a real event though, he really does buy crap off ebay when drunk, so maybe we can use that template and take it to another level.

    As to holding a pen, he's meant to be signing for the delivery at the door, then moving inside to holding a t-shit that he's just recieved.

    ...and I cant beleive your calling me out on the delivery time's and packaging of ebay products, thats just being anal.

    Seiphon on
  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Sure you could keep that gag, as well, but maybe he bought something totally out there instead of.. some clothes, I guess? What you have right now is pretty much an inside joke, because it's from real life, but we don't know that and aren't really interested when you tell us, because, well, we don't know the guy. It just comes off as really boring writing, even though it might be funny in real life. I'm suggesting having a foundation in a real life scenario, but push it as far as it can go. I mean, you don't even need to look further than PA to see prime examples of this.

    Basically, unless it's meant to be a diary, there's no reason to be this down to earth if you want laughs. It's a comic, you can do literally anything.

    Visti on
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  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    It kinda does make sense though. How could he have a bunch of stuff the morning he wakes up from a hangover? It's kinda a stretch.

    There is just nothing zany about getting drunk and ordering things on ebay. Drinking somebodies handwash on the other hand is totally zany. And that's why the strip peaked out in the second panel, only to be ruined by the last one.

    earthwormadam on
  • SeiphonSeiphon Registered User
    edited July 2009
    so he has to order something off ebay that is in comparisen or more zany to drinking handwash....how about a life size model of Bruce Lee kicking Chuck norris' ass in way of the dragon? Thats pretty zany...

    Seiphon on
  • MaximasXXZMaximasXXZ Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    The most miraculous thing about it is the less-than-18-hour turn around time from ordering to delivery and the "ebay"-marked boxes even though ebay purchases come from individual sellers and the packaging varies drastically.

    What has already been said is what is killing the entire thing for me.

    MaximasXXZ on
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  • VistiVisti Registered User regular
    edited July 2009
    Seiphon wrote: »
    so he has to order something off ebay that is in comparisen or more zany to drinking handwash....how about a life size model of Bruce Lee kicking Chuck norris' ass in way of the dragon? Thats pretty zany...

    Exactly, you have a good starting point, but if you were to draw a curve of excitement throughout the panels, it should top at the last one, not peak in the middle and the go down again.

    Visti on
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  • robotsintheskiesrobotsintheskies Registered User
    edited August 2009
    I'm really digging your style, it's got a nice laidback feel to it, if that makes any sense.

    As for critique, I'm not too sure I agree with the solid-color backgrounds. Maybe if you could just do like, suggestions of objects in the back, that'd be pretty sweet. Otherwise, I'm thoroughly enjoying your stuff.

    robotsintheskies on
  • MindsackMindsack Registered User
    edited August 2009
    i think the ebay gag could work if the boxes were bigger, and if some of the boxes were opened, maybe with blowup dolls or something embarrasing or ridiculous half hanging out as if he opened them frantically.

    The shirt in his hand is really confusing, because none of the boxes are opened and his shirt matches his robe, so did he buy the shirt and robe at ebay? or did he buy a matching shirt? or are neither actually from ebay? Right now the joke ends with he bought stuff at ebay, and since we don't know what any of that is, it could either be really mundane or obsurd.

    Mindsack on
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