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[Hell's] Kitchen: There was no "voila" for me

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    dlinfinitidlinfiniti Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    i wonder how much the guys actually did fuck the girls team in prep if at all
    i mean the girls seemed pretty convinced from the editing that the guys screwed them on prep
    but if it was as bad as the editing seemed to show, you'd thing one of the stronger personalities on the red team like ariel or tenneille would be like fuck this shit, cook this dish in front of me or at least brought it up to gordon's attention

    dlinfiniti on
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    MuncieMuncie Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I have just watched my last episode of Hell's Kitchen. People said it was awesome, Gordon Ramsay is awesome, the food is awesome, awesome awesome awesome. So I checked out the new season on Hulu. The best part of the show is when the contestants actually cook something, which is rare, and then they usually edit over it.

    The editing, Jesus H, what the hell are they doing? Cue the epic movie battle music and then make an edge-of-your-seat event out of cutting out shrimp anuses. That's pretty fucking ridiculous. Then they use the tried and true commercial cliffhanger to find out which team's shrimp contained the least number of anuses.

    I watched the last season since work this week has been dead, hoping that as they progress the tone will change and it will be focused more on cooking. But it's not. It's the same shit week after week. The challenge is the only interesting part of the show if they're cooking and not doing some inane garbage.

    I think the most obnoxious part of the show, though, is the Ramsay worship. Man this loud mouth is such a bad ass. He's so badass he doesn't even need to cook at any of his fifty different restaurants with his name on the door. It reminds me of James Patterson: Hack Author. James Patterson doesn't think he needs to write his own novels any more (if he ever did). He outlines a story and some underpaid asshole actually writes it. He sees his name as a brand name. People know what they're getting from a James Patterson novel! he says. People are dropping $1000 at a restaurant for the Gordon Ramsay Experience. What horseshit.

    You know as bad as reality TV gets this might be the worst. At least with American Idol you can actually see people on stage singing and Dancing With the Stars has some actual stars, you know, dancing. They should rename this show Contract Locked Sucker Undercooks a Beef Wellington One Time Out of Fifty Because Some Asshole Was Screaming In Her Face And Is Then Made To Look Like A Twit Compared To The Holy Trinity of Gordon Ramsay, The TV Chef, and the Holy @#$%;!.

    The last season was a competition to win $250,000 and a restaurant. That's a pretty big fucking deal. I was shocked they could throw around that kind of money on a mid-ratings television show. Well, as it turns out, winner Danny Veltri didn't get his own restaurant or a $250,000 check. Instead he got to sign on as a Sous Chef at Fornelletto for a year contract worth $250,000. The restaurant opened this past June in the space the audience and the contestants were lead to believe would be a restaurant headed by the winner.

    On top of that when they brought back the formerly released contestants I felt really bad for Giovanni. The dude didn't want to be there, they had his balls locked in a contract, and yet they still had the nerve to scream at him some more over stupid shit so they could ring the last bit FOX Presents People Being Exploited out of him.

    What a crock of shit. This show sucks and I was a sucker for thinking it would be about cooking rather than Mr. $250,000/episode's ego or Fox's shitty editing.

    Muncie on
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    quovadis13quovadis13 Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Wait, wait, wait, wait. People actually think Hell's Kitchen is a cooking show???? Wake up and smell the roses. Its a freak show, a train wreck and a circus all rolled into one. That's why we all watch. Nobody is going to learn a damn thing about food while watching this show. We are going to see people get yelled at and the subsequently fail under the stress. And we are going to laugh about it and it will make us feel better about ourselves. It's reality TV at its finest.


    Also, according to Wikipedia, seasons 5 and 6 were filmed over a year apart. During that time, Robert got married, had gastric bypass surgery and lost a whopping 55 pounds!!!!

    quovadis13 on
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    OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    quovadis13 wrote: »
    Wait, wait, wait, wait. People actually think Hell's Kitchen is a cooking show???? Wake up and smell the roses. Its a freak show, a train wreck and a circus all rolled into one. That's why we all watch. Nobody is going to learn a damn thing about food while watching this show. We are going to see people get yelled at and the subsequently fail under the stress. And we are going to laugh about it and it will make us feel better about ourselves. It's reality TV at its finest.

    Look no further than the show's opening for this season to prove this. It's literally the contestants being freaks (Tony is a man/donkey), a giant train wreck of people falling over and breaking shit, and they're doing it all in a circus setting.

    Omeks on
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    LightRiderLightRider __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2009
    Yes, it is a terrible show that sucks and nobody should watch it ever.

    LightRider on
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    WeretacoWeretaco Cubicle Gangster Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    LightRider wrote: »
    Yes, it is a terrible show that sucks and nobody should watch it ever.

    Pretty much.. but I can't help myself!

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    VoodooVVoodooV Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    That's ridiculous. Next you'll tell me wrestling is fake too.

    VoodooV on
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    dlinfinitidlinfiniti Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    meh if you pay attention you could pick up interesting tips about cooking and stuff
    albeit not as much as you would glean from like 30 seconds of alton brown but still :P
    most of the show is about drama and not cooking and if you're watching it for anything else, you're wasting your time

    though you're also a fool if you think gordon ramsay can't cook, guys like him don't get where they are if they can't cook. He's not your typical food network groomed celebrity chef. Sure his charisma and stuff are a good deal of his success, but those michelin stars don't just come out of nowhere.

    dlinfiniti on
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    SchrodingerSchrodinger Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Gosling wrote: »
    Have any of the contestants on this show become successes yet?
    Looking at Wikipedia:

    SEASON 1
    *Michael (winner) is looking at opening a restaurant in Sierra Vista, AZ called- what else- 'HK One'. He also has a chef's knives company called Skull and Cleavers.
    *Ralph (2nd) has a place in Sag Harbor, NY called Fat Ralph's Deli. He also has a show on some HD netowrk, Mojo, called Pressure Cook. That's apparently on Hulu.

    SEASON 2
    *Heather (winner)... well, she has a non-speaking role on Hell's Kitchen...
    *Rachel (7th) actually died in 2007. Can't find what of.

    SEASON 3
    *Rock (winner) saw his contract expire at Green Valley Ranch; he now works at Ben's Next Door in Washington DC.
    Aaron (weenie) is still a fuckwit.

    SEASON 4
    Wikipedia doesn't say anything.

    Why in the world would anyone buy a knife from Michael? Is he now an expert metallurgist now or something? Celebrity knives. Bah.

    Season 4 was a real low point in the series. It was the first season where there was absolutely no one on the show who we could root for. They weren't just incompetent, they were also completely unlikeable.

    Schrodinger on
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    OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    meh if you pay attention you could pick up interesting tips about cooking and stuff
    albeit not as much as you would glean from like 30 seconds of alton brown but still :P
    most of the show is about drama and not cooking and if you're watching it for anything else, you're wasting your time

    though you're also a fool if you don't think gordon ramsay can't cook, guys like him don't get where they are if they can't cook. He's not your typical food network groomed celebrity chef. Sure his charisma and stuff are a good deal of his success, but those michelin stars don't just come out of nowhere.

    Yeah, I looked around the net, on places like Youtube and the British station that shows his programs (Channel 4 or whatever it is) for videos of him cooking. I tried making beef wellington after watching this on Youtube.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHQNV_5wozg

    Yum.

    Omeks on
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    CervetusCervetus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Omeks wrote: »
    Yeah, I looked around the net, on places like Youtube and the British station that shows his programs (Channel 4 or whatever it is) for videos of him cooking. I tried making beef wellington after watching this on Youtube.

    There are recipes on the website if you're interested. http://www.bbcamerica.com/content/159/f-word-s1-recipe1.jsp

    Cervetus on
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    devCharlesdevCharles Gainesville, FLRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It's not a show about chefs but a show about cooking in a restaurant. You can look at interviews with his sous chefs in the past. According to them, he's like that in his actual kitchens. He learned it from the Executive Chef he worked under when he was in France. Being a cook in a restaurant is about consistency and endurance. This show reflects that.

    Gordon Ramsay is an incredibly talented chef though. He's third in the world in number of Michelin Stars. I think he knows what he's about.

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    FattronicusFattronicus Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I knew I bookmarked this for a reason.

    http://www.gordonramsayswearsatyou.com/

    Fattronicus on
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    SchrodingerSchrodinger Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    This hasn't been updated in forever, but it's still pretty hilarious:

    http://www.newsgroper.com/gordon-ramsay

    So the New York Times decided to break a story this week: it turns out that this summer, American kids are fat! Who fucking knew? And it looks like cheese-fries are the bloody culprits. You mean that when kids eat deep-fried, starchy vegetables covered in Velveeta, it's not good for them? And all this time I thought raw fruits and vegetables were to blame.

    My God, parents, is it that fucking hard to make your kids a fucking salad? Is it impossible to make them a sandwich without using Wonder Bread? It's a freakishly white, nutrient-depraved sponge-like substance that even pigeons know to stay the fuck away from. Why do you all insist on feeding your children chemical-waste? It's pretty fucking simple. If you serve your kids mutant food, they are going to look like mutants.

    Schrodinger on
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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    The show's a train wreck. I'm well aware, and I'm comfortable with that. If I want to see an actual appreciation of food, I'll go watch Anthony Bourdain. I come to Hell's Kitchen to see people fuck up dishes in hilarious fashion and then get called out for the fuckwits they are.

    Oh, yes, and I love the part where the person that gets nominated and survives always always always says something like "Oh, they are REALLY gonna have to watch out for me now! No more Mr. Nice Guy!" and in the process completely forgetting that they have no control whatsoever over another cook's performance and if they try to purposely screw someone up Gordon will just scream at them louder and may even boot them right then and there.

    Gosling on
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    VoodooVVoodooV Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Well that was what I liked, or used to like about Hell's Kitchen. The typical "reality show" rules didn't apply. I mean you had those 3 or 4 guys two seasons ago, Black Gordon Ramsey, that electrician dude and and can't remember who else. They thought they could band together and form an alliance, but Gordon just picked them off one by one because the long and the short of it was that they were bad cooks.

    Or when some nitwit thinks they have the bright idea to nominate one of the stronger cooks in the kitchen and Gordon just rolls his eyes and sends them back into the line and brings up the true idiot.

    VoodooV on
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    InterjectionInterjection Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah, Gordon Ramsey is the Seto Kaiba of reality shows.

    SCREW THE RULES I HAVE MONEY!

    Interjection on
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    GrimReaperGrimReaper Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Omeks wrote: »
    dlinfiniti wrote: »
    meh if you pay attention you could pick up interesting tips about cooking and stuff
    albeit not as much as you would glean from like 30 seconds of alton brown but still :P
    most of the show is about drama and not cooking and if you're watching it for anything else, you're wasting your time

    though you're also a fool if you don't think gordon ramsay can't cook, guys like him don't get where they are if they can't cook. He's not your typical food network groomed celebrity chef. Sure his charisma and stuff are a good deal of his success, but those michelin stars don't just come out of nowhere.

    Yeah, I looked around the net, on places like Youtube and the British station that shows his programs (Channel 4 or whatever it is) for videos of him cooking. I tried making beef wellington after watching this on Youtube.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHQNV_5wozg

    Yum.

    That's from the F Word. I'm sure you could find it in less reputable parts of the mega hyper webs.

    You can find the top ten recipes, including that beef wellington here.

    You can watch The F Word online here however I think 4od is UK only.

    GrimReaper on
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    ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    GrimReaper wrote: »
    That's from the F Word. I'm sure you could find it in less reputable parts of the mega hyper webs.

    You can find the top ten recipes, including that beef wellington here.

    You can watch The F Word online here however I think 4od is UK only.

    He also did a bunch of quick recipes in a similar style for the Times. You can find those on Youtube as well. And the F word teaches us that he's not that good a chef. He got beat by James May. :lol:

    Thomamelas on
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    UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Nothing to see here people, move along....

    Underdog on
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    SchrodingerSchrodinger Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I have to say that the F-Word ruined the entire Food Network for me. It accomplishes more in an hour than the Food Network does in a week, and it features actual reporters rather than simple fluff pieces.

    I also love the way Gordon does recipes on that show. He knows that no one is going to be writing down the ingredients list step-by-step when they can just visit the website, so instead he focuses on the essential spirit of the recipe. Instead of getting lost in the details, he focuses on the big picture.

    Schrodinger on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh gee, put the fat guy on a bike and have him peddle up a hill and expect something other than going to the hospital....

    TexiKen on
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    OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    TexiKen wrote: »
    Oh gee, put the fat guy on a bike and have him peddle up a hill and expect something other than going to the hospital....

    With a known heart condition. Don't forget about the known heart condition.

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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    And Robert officially sets what has to be a new reality show record for Most Consecutive Seasons In Which The Same Contestant Winds Up In An Ambulance.

    Just get the blasted liposuction.

    Gosling on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Did he lose any weight from last season?

    TexiKen on
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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Oh, by the way, gang: what a lesson about eating low-calorie foods!

    I'm a mean, mean person.

    Gosling on
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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    GOSLING'S BIG BOOK O' HELL'S KITCHEN ADVICE

    #1: Never get into an insult contest with Gordon.

    Gosling on
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    Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Another week of fail. One of the only good cooks goes to the hospital, and backwards hat girl is still there. They could still save it if Gordon executed the chefs using cleavers.

    Also, oh god those poor horses on "More to Love"!

    Amikron Devalia on
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    TexiKenTexiKen Dammit! That fish really got me!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    The preview for next week, it's just laughable now.

    Robert saying he doesn't know if he can continue and then they make the colors go black and white with a no-pulse beeeeeep, come on.

    And where did the chicken go? I turned my head away for 30 seconds and I didn't know if that girl really did hide it from Ramsay or what.

    TexiKen on
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    OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    TexiKen wrote: »
    And where did the chicken go? I turned my head away for 30 seconds and I didn't know if that girl really did hide it from Ramsay or what.

    I don't think she hid it. The camera would have picked up on it if she had. I bet she was lying because she forgot to put it on.

    You don't just lose a whole fucking chicken.

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    GoslingGosling Looking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, Probably Watertown, WIRegistered User regular
    edited August 2009
    TexiKen wrote: »
    You don't just lose a whole fucking chicken.
    Well, you can if it gets lost among fat cows and thick bitches.

    Gosling on
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    VoodooVVoodooV Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Amanda kinda had a nice bod there. Had a little definition in the abs anyway.

    Andy will be the next guy to go assuming Robert's heart doesn't explode. On one hand, I want to feel sorry for the guy since he's a good cook, but on the other, cut the fat fucker loose and send him to The Biggest Loser if he's got such a fetish for reality shows.

    VoodooV on
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    Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Just a reminder he apparently did lose 55 pounds (someone mentioned it earlier in this thread as well) after having surgery. So he is working on it. I will mention, when you're that large it takes awhile for the weight loss to be noticed on camera. Though of course his heart is going to still have troubles its still being put into a chokehold by the remaining pounds of body left on his massive frame.

    Amikron Devalia on
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    GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff MOMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Kevin is doing a good job running the men's team. I can see the final two being between him and Ariel or whatever her name is. Sabrina and Andy are definitely next in line. Same with Tennille, although I can see her getting pretty far. She's like the Ben of this season. She makes mistakes but she definitely has the balls and the attitude to stand up to Ramsay and show how much she wants to be there.
    Kinda surprised but kinda not at the same time that Jim was sent home. He was almost comatose during service. That just doesn't fly.

    GreasyKidsStuff on
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    Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Tennille runs a steakhouse, she don't need no crappy gig from Gordon.

    Amikron Devalia on
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    GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff MOMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    True enough I suppose. I admire her tenacity though.

    GreasyKidsStuff on
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    Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    It was a joke really, while I know she can cook, something about her just makes me want to throw a frying pan in her general direction.

    Amikron Devalia on
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    OmeksOmeks Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    I'm starting to think Fox needs to screen their punishments a lot better in future seasons. Dave goes and fucks his wrist up while cleaning a firetruck while Robert has a heart attack on the world's most ridiculous bike. What's next? Van loses an arm while the team is cleaning the barrel of a tank gun?

    I mean whatever happened to cutting a finger off? Or a good old fashioned burn?

    Omeks on
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    GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff MOMMM! ROAST BEEF WANTS TO KISS GIRLS ON THE TITTIES!Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    Yeah I really don't know what they were thinking with the bike either.

    GreasyKidsStuff on
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    Amikron DevaliaAmikron Devalia I didn't ask for this title. Registered User regular
    edited August 2009
    They were obviously trying to kill him so that Tennille would win. It is taking Gordon too long to get rid of him and the staff just could not have the real life version of Marvel Comic's "Blob" taking away spotlight time from the best damned steakhouse owner ever!

    Amikron Devalia on
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