Hello all and welcome to OkCupid. We are doing this again because that is how we roll.
Before you join Okcupid you may want to read this short guide:
A HANDY, MILDLY CHAUVINISTIC GUIDE TO THE WORLD OF ONLINE DATING (FOR BOYS)
If you weren't around, about a year and a half ago a bunch of people on SE++ joined Okcupid. You can use other sites but OKcupid is good because it's free (unlike Lavalife or match.com and a bunch of other sites), and it has a lot of users/activites.
Signing up is easy!
Really having a funny name isn't so bad.
Okcupid will send you a fair amount of mail by default, so you might want to avoid using your work email.
Once you sign up with your account you have to fill out a bunch of forms and personal information. A general tip - turn off "Casual encounters" (even if you only want casual sex), and if you smoke weed (but don't do other drugs), simply leave drugs as N/A instead of 'does drugs sometimes'.
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Pictures are pretty important! You want people to think that you are a cool-looking guy, no matter how sad and crushed you are on the inside. To avoid looking like a creepy uggo-face, here are a few easy pointers.
Smile in your pictures! Rap faces are mad fierce, but girls usually respond better to 'friendly and approachable'.
Use pictures of you taken by someone else. Don't take self-portraits of you, alone, in an empty room. Show the world that you have friend(s), and include shots of you being outdoors, with people, doing something social and fun.
Turn your head a little. Don't go for the full-on mug shot. It makes it really easy to spot the asymmetrical aspects of your face, as well as making you look like you want to rape the viewer.
Warm colours can really help you. This is another good reason not to take pictures with a webcam, since they tend to give very cold, grainy pictures.
Once you sign up and answer a few dozen questions you can try finding matches near you. These matches will inevitably end up being hipster girls. This is okay! Many hipster girls are only hipster girls on the internet, where it is much less effort.
You may want to limit your searches based on 'last logged in' and 'joined within' date ranges. People who have been on OKcupid for a really long time tend to check and respond to their mail less frequently, and reject people more quickly. This is doubly true for women, who get viewed and messaged several times more often than men do.
While we try not to judge entirely based on appearances, it is true that some people do not like fatties. To spot a fatty, look out for trademark 'myspace angles' (no body shots, only headshots taken from a camera 45 degrees above the subject), and jowls. Jowls never lie.
While trying to look for girls who list "polyamory" or "casual sex" as their interests might seem like an easy way to get sexual attention if you're especially desperate, realize that there are many, many men out there that are more desperate and more pathetic than you on the internet, and any girl with that in her profile is probably lambasted several times an hour with smarmy come-ons. Most likely both of you can do better.
Don't send Woo!s. They're lazy and largely ignored. A real message is much more effective. OKcupid instant messenger doesn't seem to work particularly well, so after a few mails back and forth you might want to exchange AIM/MSN information, and pursue things from there. If everything is going well over instant messenger, why not ask her out to dinner? Don't be too afraid - she's on here in order to meet people. Show her you're better than those miserable faggots in H/A.
Anyway dudes make sure to put
SE++ as one of your interests so we can find your profile easily.
Let us know how your dates go!
Posts
I want to believe they are.
YOU ARE THE DUDE
GIRLS WHO DO NOT HAVE DATES ARE THOSE WHO ALSO DON'T HAVE THE GUTS TO APPROACH DUDES AND THIS MIGHT BE WHY THEY ARE LOOKING ONLINE
SO MAN UP AND APPROACH SOMEONE IT'S EASIER ON THE INTERNETS THAN IT IS IN REAL LIFE
I haven't even been stabbed yet!
It's more that I completely forget I've signed up for this site until I get an e-mail saying 'hey you have a new message'. Then I get online, respond to the person, and contact a couple of people before forgetting again.
It's not that I'm afraid to contact someone, it's because I am easily distracted.
some were crazy, but at least three were pretty cool
one of which is my current girlfriend, and we've been together pretty happily for almost a year now.
about the only thing i'm getting from that is rejection, but that's fine because that's the way this shit is
High five! I've also met my girlfriend on here, and we're going to celebrating our one year in August.
this made me laugh so hard
DON'T STOP NOW I NEED THIS
Haha, same here.
First date we went to see Tropic Thunder. We both were wearing Threadless shirts. Afterwards we went to the nearby Starbucks and got some coffee and flipped through an Indiana Jones Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book they had there.
Me and the naked dancing elf on the mailbox have had a long and loving relationship.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/38Simulated/
I've been waiting to see if anyone would ever send me a message to tell me that they got the reference.
I need love
LOVE ME, INTERNET PEOPLE
LOOOOOOOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
this is the most hispter thing I've heard
oh god thank you was I just thinking about this comic
oh, that was you? i was like, shit, only winks i'm getting are from gay men
Wait what are you doing on this site?
Satans..... hints.....
Scandal!
I thought it was a pretty appropriate response.
Aw dang
It was just an easy way to break the ice.
hang on let me check
FIVE YEARS OH GOD
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
*takes out folding chair, popcorn*
proceed
I was helping critique orik's profile
you don't trust me
You didn't recognize me? After all the time we spent together.
I'm crushed.
Mostly I've been curious to see if anyone will get desperate enough to message a happily married guy.
won't they be slapping shit instead of leather, as they are encrusted in it?
your logic is flawed, sir!
EDIT: Viv stop encouraging him
we are like seventy something percent compatible
but twenty percent enemies
I'm talkin' that mad adobo sauce