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[Game On] Hormagaunts of War II: The Spamming
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I know I am, I'm sure I am,I'm Sounders 'til I die!Registered User regular
I know I am, I'm sure I am,I'm Sounders 'til I die!Registered User regular
Dawn of War II
In the singleplayer campaign of Dawn of War II, you roleplay a strong silent young hero, a loveably roguish scout with a dark past, an adamant noble warrior, a racist grumpy old codger, a foolish idealist and a tragic hero of wars past in their death-defying romp across a solar system, helping space elves and green ork natives fend off the evil colonistic advance of the British Tyranid Empire. Watch as our protagonists learn the power of friendship, brinkmanship and rocket-propelled bullets; marvel at the devastation one invisible explosives-bearing man can wreak on structures and creatures alike, and raise an eyebrow at the curious fashion statements of the 41st millenium.
But in the Grim Darkness of Multiplayer, there is only Tyranid. Farseer Idranel foresaw this, and thus set in motion the events leading to the Second Coming of the balance beta. Players of the game can expect to participate in the ongoing struggle of the Orks, Eldar and Space Marines to not be viciously torn asunder and turned into Biomass for Hive Fleet Neon Green/Bubblegum Pink.
Multiplayer Dawn of War II uses the Games for Windows Live service to matchmake you with people who have been known to use dishonourable tactics such as using units that are better than yours. You also have the option of winning games and making your army look prettier. You can also play against the computer, who will endeavour to take your points while leaving your army relatively untouched; whoever is in the chair when the music stops playing wins the game. However, you don't get any pretty armour upgrades this way.
Races
Howling Banshees
Howling Banshees - and their Eldar manservants - have carefully tended to the flora and fauna of the galaxy for many millenia past, but encroaching Tyranid herbivores devoured their plant planets live. This caused the once placid Eldar women to have a fit of hysterics, causing them to henceforth be known as Howling Banshees. The vicious harridans will stop at nothing to kill every Tyranid in existence and anyone who gets in their way.
Pros - the only race where you're not staring at man-ass while playing.
Cons - you have strict rules on colour co-ordination and plant arrangement. Also, Eldar vehicles are driven solely by women, which has been known to lead to complications.
Shotgun Scouts
Scouts are the young and upcoming Space Marines. Fearful of becoming a fully fledged Space Marine and thus being reduced to grumpy old men, prejudiced against people wearing less power armour than them and always complaining about whoever it was who stole their Chapter Relics off their lawn, Scouts content themselves with filling Tyranids with buckshot while the Tactical Marines behind them sit back and mourn days gone by when power armour actually meant something.
Pros - the Emperor of Man watches over you from the Golden Throne, and he has foreseen this very day and trained you for it.
Cons - apparently his foresight forgot to inform him that the Power Armour he was outfitting almost his entire army in had one fatal flaw: weakness to everything. Also, the Emperor is a lifeless husk only kept alive by Techpriests because his trusted right hand man Horus tried to kill him and made off with half his army, so his prophetic capabilities may not be up to scratch.
Ravener Brood
So called because they are ravenous all the time, Raveners want to eat the universe. When they discovered this was physically impossible, they settled for eating everything in existence instead. They are often surrounded by lesser Tyranids, great and small, envious of their appetite. It is said that the symbol of eternal life, the Ouroburos, was depicted after seeing a Ravener attempting to eat its own tail.
Pros - you can and will eat everything. Also, if you cover yourself in baby oil and roll all over the keyboard, you will win games.
Cons - few people like be eaten, so you will be universally despised and ridiculed, sissy.
Slugga Boyz
Introduced at an early age by the Mad Dok to Waaaaaagh, Slugga Boyz have developed a healthy addiction to killing things. So long as they are hooked up to a steady supply of the stuff, they will punch, thump, kick, stomp, kill and maim anyone who gets in the way of them getting more. However, if they are denied their fix, they have been to known go cold turkey and take a metaphorical kick in the danglies from everyone and their dog. They are accompanied by other, more seasoned Ork junkies who have found more varied applications for their Waaaagh habit. Beware of their Nobs, who get to see things that aren't usually seen.
Pros - you're an Ork.
Cons - you're an Ork.
People Who Also Dabble In Dawn Of War II And Their GFWL Tags, As Plagiarised From MechaAkira's OPNerd Forumer Name= Stupid GFWL Tag
Mock the bad ones
Akira = MechaAkira
3clipse= R3clipse
815165 = thee telescopes
A-Puck = Za Puck
Accualt = The Accualt
admanb = admanjb
Aegeri= Aegeri
Battle Jesus = Aarnog (what the fuck why is this nothing like your name, jesus)
biscuitbutt81 = biscuitbutt81
BlueDestiny = BlueDouble
bongi = bongitrs
cakemikz = ryantschutter (can't fucking send it to me with forumer/gfwl or just gfwl like a normal person, so Ryan I hope someone castrates you.)
Captain K = I Am Captain K
Canada_jezus = Canada Jezus
CanisAquilus = Canis Aquilus
ChubbyRaccoon = Juice Tinn
Computer Generated Faggotry = CasinoGhost
Core= defconcore
Critter = TrotskysIcepick
Cronus = MasterCronus
Custom Special/F4ll0ut = customRUB
darksteel=Cokesakto
darunia106=darunia106
Defunker = JollyGreenJssus
Demiurge = Demiurge03
Dissociater= Dissociater
Dr.Oblivious = DrOblivious
Enosh20 = Enosh20
Figgy = FigmentNS
Fizban140 = Fizban140 (?)
Foefaller = FoefallerMagus
Hawk= Hawk xSx
jdarksun= jdarksun
Jebu= Chrethon
Jives = JilesFTW
Joril = Cordiss
Just_Bri_Thanks = BrianJ012
kaliyama = marblesthechimp
Kami = KamiDaHobo
Kinderparty = Kinderparty
kildy = Kildy
Kivutar = Morgant M
Klyka = Klyka
Kruite = Bluflare
Leitner= Colonel Leitner
Lord_Asmodeus= I3rigand
Lurk = Saltek
MagicPrime = FireSideWizard (an ungrateful cunt for not saying "please" add me)
Medan = CaptDearborn
mightyspacepope= mightyspacepope
Moridin889 = LazyGit889
NebulousQ = NebulousQ
ObstSkwerl = Pvtskwerl
Pyromaniac221 = Pyromaniac221
Sepah = Seppah (heh, he can't spell, what a tard).
Shade = Cannoncore
Shamus= El Shamus
Shorn Scrotum Man= SojakFA
Shujaa = ShenanigansUK
SJ= Warboss SJ
SniperGuy = SniperGuy710
Sonar = sonarogre
Quid = Asmadeus
Sidarthur = Eff O Eff (FoF? Fleet of Foot? Eldar scum.)
Spindrift = Cudboat
TekDragon= TekDragon84
TheBog = TheBog2
TheCrumblyCracker = CrumblyCracker
TheGerbil = TheGerbil86
The_Scarab = SomeBug
troublebrewing = TroubleBrewin
Traikan = Traikan
TychoCelchuuu = TychoCelchuu
urahonky = IMAPWNJ00 (wins award for name most likely used by a pedophile)
Urian = Fathom216
valtzy = valtzy
Varega = Varega (likes to be called "Vagina Man" because he's a big vagina)
Velmeran = Vechloran
Vi Monks= ViMonks2
Woggle = Woggle 0
Wulf= Wulf
Zen Vulgarity= ZenVulgarity (probably the worst poster/player on the forums)
You may also engage in vocal discourse and possible game arrangement via the Penny Arcade Games And Technology Forum Ventrilo Server, an entrance exam for which may be found in this very forum.
As seen in the previous OP.
Proceed with further discourse.
I'm verklempt, so I'll give you a topic to discuss amongst yaselves.
Goomba's Farseer. Go.
XBL: F4ll0utBP | STEAM | PSN : CustomSpecial | Bnet: F4ll0ut#1636
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Recently I went Warboss Slugga Slugga Slugga Stormboyz and hahahahahaha. I zerged the guy in my lane and pushed him back almost instantly, I just FF'd and instantly killed his banshees and he was forced to retreat right off the bat. Then, all I did was send my zerg to my alllies' lanes and since sluggas absolutely rape anything they touch the enemy also had to retreat before my sluggas even made it into melee, allowing my allies to smash gens at their leisure meanwhile I took almost no damage.
So not only do I get to push back all 3 enemy teams but I took so little damage I got to push back the eldar back a second time and then proceed to smack their gens relentlessly while supporting my allies.
I had a Looted Tank out before they were even thinking about the meaning of AV.
I'm going to go ahead and guess this wasn't a result of my brilliant strategic genius.
So I'm going to try and understand everything that's going on.
Relic, over the last months was patching here and there things wrong with retail. They spent all those months making whatever fixes they thought were necessary along with ignoring really obvious stuff like Ripper capping and Ravener Alphas.
At some point they decide that they fucked up so much that they were better off redesigning the entire metagame which they had been balancing for all those previous months, remaking the most overpowered faction in the game into a completely new one so all the changes they had been making to it are no longer important, and it turns out that making this completely new game in place of perfecting what they already had resulted in huge imbalances all over again except this time they're starting from scratch on this new There Is Only War metagame.
At least, that's what I'm understanding has happened.
If so, I can see why you are all so cheerful.
If you get his squad to veteran status they get a power axe, a power fist and some plasma pistols. Really potent plus they can tank most everything while the FC mops up.
So I guess it's worse since instead of Relic not knowing of this problem, they just don't care.
Oh hi.
I turned off the dev mode a while back and I'm actually alt tabbed out of the game right now. Too damn lazy to do it proper.
Also, I guess I'll add a bunch of good people from the gamertag list. I need to finish up my primarch campaign in co-op.
Not right now, I am le tired
I just noticed this and I love it. It looks like hes going "Ohh shit."
Also:
HEY RETZINSKY,
I've got a new replay worthy of commenting on. Nothings quite been up to par after the last replay but I think this one makes the cut. Its Akira, myself, and shepard, (subbing in for goomba since hes being a crybaby right now), against three orks of every flavour!
Its quite a good game and you should totally shoutcast it!
http://www.gamereplays.org/dawnofwar2/replays.php?game=47&tab=popular&show=details&id=91427
It's BlueDouble you smelly poop jerks.
Frosted Tips Live Forever
Oh is that you? I thought mech akira said retzinsky did our last shoutcast.
What I meant to say is, "whoever did it before should do it again!"
Edit: Just checked it was you. Stupid Akira. I knew that guy was standard british, as opposed to retzinsky's hilariously silly awesome british.
I found 3 plasma guns on that run. 3.
On the black screen
Blue you are added.
No I don't mind that much if it worked I'd be kinda sad. Last time I was told to go melee heavy since my combined arms approach wasn't working either. With shootas all that seems to happen is the slugga boys die then I have to retreat the shootas or they get raped as well.
Just trying to figure out a way to deal with them since I lose to them really badly. It mostly seems to stem from the banshees being able to suppress my melee guys so that they go down real fast
Also shootas kinda suck until you upgrade them.
Normally I play with the kommando. I was just trying the warboss due to the suggestion. I will usually use him to stealth up to a guardian squad and engage it in melee.
I think I might just be doing something wrong because even with two slugga squads on the banshee waaghing as soon as it does the suppression scream they just get wrecked to hell.
Replays are a good way to find out eh eh eh eh replays?
I'll save the next one where I'm not playing with horribly incompetent teammates.
Fuck off Akira. I didn't blame anyone for me sucking I just don't want to use one where my team is terribad and its just a complete rout since that wouldn't help me find out whats wrong.
Maybe it's not your team that's the problem.
Note I didn't say its their fault I suck. I just don't get enough time in a game where one side just dominates the entire match to figure out what I am doing wrong since the entire game is over in like 3 minutes.
I am also remembering why I stopped playing with random people since almost every match someone is either AFK or drops at the loading screen.
EDIT: A replay of my team doing fairly well in the opening part but me failing rather spectaularly against an Eldar WSE: http://www.gamereplays.org/dawnofwar2/replays.php?game=47&tab=upcoming&show=details&id=91441
Pretty sure the other ork player dropped while we were loading in this one but it went on long enough.
Edit - Also, is it possible for one squad to go into melee with two squads if they are bunched up together?
http://beta.humugus.com/index.php/auth/register/inv/1966
Man I said I thought I was doing something wrong like two posts before you posted. I just don't like you implying I am trying to blame other people when I've said I suck.
Edit: It might be dudbolt. I swear I've seen two slugga boy squads taking damage from the same banshee squad before.
Also I will probably make a new not-terrible OP tonight or tomorrow.
The poor smelldar players got butchered.