Getting a baby to sleep through the night

poshniallo

So, I have an eight-month old daughter who wakes up every night at 4.30ish, and I'd like her to not.

Some background:

She's a very happy baby:



See?

She eats and drinks very well, is big for her age, and very rarely cries. We feed her twice a day, and then plenty of milk. She falls asleep around 7ish, and then we give her a last bottle around 10.30 (this is a recent development, and doesn't seem to affect the 4.30 thing one way or the other).

She's been waking at 3-4.30 always, and we've always given her a bottle. Nowadays she wakes up, but doesn't cry or get upset. She just crawls around or sits up in her cot, seems very happy, but rattles the bars or 'talks' until we give her milk.

The cot is next to my bed, and we don't have another room to put her in. Anyway, in our culture (Japanese), babies sleep with their parents until they're quite old, so we don't want to move her into another room even if we could.

My idea is, starting tonight, to not give her that 4.30 milk, as she doesn't need it. Then I or my wife will try to give her the minimum attention necessary to get her to go back to sleep. Maybe stroke her a little, shush her nicely, keep laying her back down to sleep with her blanket and bunny. This hopefully, over time, will give her the message that things are changing, and eventually she'll stop waking up at this time.

I fully expect her to kick up stink at being denied 'coolfuntimewithmilkandparents'. I don't think she'll cry, she'll probably just get up again and again, kicking the bars of her cot-prison and generally being not too bad, but noisy and needy until she gets milk or is allowed to get up and play.

So, any ideas? Is my approach likely to work? Has anyone with kids had a similar situation? Generally how have you gotten your kids to sleep through the night?

Thanks.

Szechuanosaurus

poshniallo wrote: »

My idea is, starting tonight, to not give her that 4.30 milk, as she doesn't need it. Then I or my wife will try to give her the minimum attention necessary to get her to go back to sleep. Maybe stroke her a little, shush her nicely, keep laying her back down to sleep with her blanket and bunny. This hopefully, over time, will give her the message that things are changing, and eventually she'll stop waking up at this time.

Your parenting instincts are strong. My memory of the past year is hazy but I think we had this same problem and basically I think you're spot on - she's got used to having milk at this time and it's just a case of weaning her off it. This will probably mean a few sleepless mornings as you deny her milk but should eventually correct itself I believe. If you have access to a midwife or health carer then it would be worth double checking with them, but I'm fairly certain we went through a similar thing and that was the advice we were given.

It's also possible that it's just a phase and she'll have moved on to a different routine this time next week.

Sir Carcass

For our 10 month old, we follow a strict feeding schedule. 10am bottle, 2pm cereal, a little baby food, and bottle. 6pm baby food and bottle. 9pm bottle. He falls sleep a little after his last bottle, usually around 10, and sleeps until 9 or 10 the next morning. I'm willing to bet it's her being used to that 4:30 bottle. We stopped feeding ours late night/early morning bottles at around 6 months.

Ganluan

There are also certain phases a baby goes through where he/she gets separation anxiety and likes to see/hear the parents. If the baby was in another room (like Americans usually do), this usually results in crying or generally being upset until a parent arrives to soothe them. This may be something similar as well, but since the baby is in the room with you she just explores the room instead of getting upset.

My son is only 5 months old, but he sleeps 9-ish hours generally. We do this by playing with him a lot before his last feeding of the night so he's very tired after he's done eating.

Count Funkula

I agree that it is probably a schedule thing. It is going to be hard to change. One thing that would probably help would be to not put her to bed at 7:00. Try to do the last bottle around 8:30 and sleep by 9:00. My 1 year old son goes to bed around 8:30-9:00 and usually sleeps until 5:30 or so. Of course, sometimes he still gets up at 4:30, and once he's up, he's up. At least he isn't waking up at midnight anymore, since we discovered Huggies Overnight diapers. We had no idea there was such a thing.

Improvolone

At that age there should be feedings every three hours until bed time. 7pm sounds early for bed time.
What is her nap schedule like?

As long as she is not hungry, wet/dirty, or cold/hot, the only thing you can do is to let her cry it out. After a few nights of consistency it should no longer be an issue.
Does she fall asleep in your arms and then you put her in bed, or do you put her in her bed when she is still awake and she happily falls asleep?

underdonk

NyQuil?

(someone had to say it)

Yar

I think the answer is in the OP. Just remember that it won't necessarily work the first night or even the fifth night. Also don't listen to anyone who says that you should let the child cry it out or whatever.

Sleeping children are all about routine. It is the cause of and solution to all the usual sleep problems.

One more thing: feel lucky. My first child never slept more than 45min at a time for his first 18 months. EVen taking turns we were up like 3 or 4 times each. He's 5 and still never sleeps through the night. His younger brother was only somewhat better. A single wake at 4:30 at 8 months is nothing.

Improvolone

I've read a lot of professional works that suggest crying it out. Sure I've also read things that say otherwise, but I've also read things claiming Obama is a lizard-man.

poshniallo

She woke up enough to wake me up two or three times the first night, but last night slept through until 5.30am!

I think that she is going to sleep 'through the night' from now on, but that we need to change her idea of 'night' by putting her to bed later and later.

Thanks for all the advice so far (although I'm not a believer in the 'crying it out' method).

Any advice on the next stage? Or is it just putting her to bed as late as poss each day? Getting later and later?

Improvolone

Crying it out is about teaching the child how to self soothe. It's not about being "mean".
What is there to be against?

Sir Carcass

Improvolone wrote: »

Crying it out is about teaching the child how to self soothe. It's not about being "mean".
What is there to be against?

Yeah, especially now that ours has entered temper tantrum country.

You shouldn't let your baby cry and cry, but it's not a bad idea to wait a couple of minutes before rushing to see what's wrong.

Improvolone

I had to let my son cry it out for many hours in order to teach him when he goes into his crib it's not only okay, but that he should go to sleep at night.

tsmvengy

Ganluan wrote: »

There are also certain phases a baby goes through where he/she gets separation anxiety and likes to see/hear the parents. If the baby was in another room (like Americans usually do), this usually results in crying or generally being upset until a parent arrives to soothe them. This may be something similar as well, but since the baby is in the room with you she just explores the room instead of getting upset.

My son is only 5 months old, but he sleeps 9-ish hours generally. We do this by playing with him a lot before his last feeding of the night so he's very tired after he's done eating.

What's her nap schedule during the day like?

But yeah, your answer is in the OP, plus make sure she is tired enough at the end of the day.