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Meeting people in Toronto
Godfather
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So here's the situation. Be prepared for a wall of text:
I started school in Canada last year, around late August. New city, new set of people, new everything.
I was pretty much starry-eyed in awe over how different everything was from Texas, and since I had stayed at my home for over a year with no friends for an entire year, I was more than eager to meet up with some new people. So as a result, I spent a lot of time meeting up with people in my school and on subways/buses.
And that worked out great for a little while.
However, about a quarter through my first year at school, shitty things started happening in my classes. I don't want to go into detail here, but long story short I had a falling out with the original group I was stationed with, and they simply did not want to let it go. To make things easier to understand, this old group would not shut up ever (I was stuck these same seventeen people in every class), never got anything done, and had a very high-school clickish attitude about things. This school I currently attend is a career-building school, and not a traditional college, so every group but this one was hard at work learning and bettering themselves. According to the faculty this group that I was in was the worst out of the entire school's history.
Because of this I decided to leg it and switch to the quieter first year group, and I guess these people took it as a personal insult or something. They went out of their way to spread all sorts of stupid shit about me for god knows why, and now I am hurting because of it. This isn't something i'm making up either; I have a few friends in the other groups who would tell me all the stuff they heard being said about me while I was away, and they weren't comfortable with it.
Something i'd like to point out is that my school is tiny; there is at best only a student body of one hundred and fifty people that make up the entire school population. Rumors and hearsay spread like wildfire around here, and before I knew it I had been blacklisted by a great majority of the first year group. When this happened, most people wouldn't even give me the time of day at school; even people I used to talk to frequently sort of just fizzled out because they didn't want to be painted black or whatever.
In short, first semester sucked hard.
Second semester was easier, because I was finally able to grab myself a good friend named Dorian. We'd hang out all of the time, and later down the road I met up with my buddy Matthew, a quiet, reserved guy who is now my roommate here in Toronto. Despite all of the shit I had to put up with, I was able to manage through it because of these guys.
Unfortunately, this year's a bit different.
We had 55% of the entire first-year animation group drop out, quit or fall out by year two, something unheard of in any school. What's worse was that most of the people who left/quit were the friends that I made in the quiet group, while a good chunk of what stayed for year two are the people who made my first year here so shitty to put up with. It's just the luck of the draw I suppose, but it really sucks getting the short end of the stick again after all that I put up with. It's particularly bad because my best friend there is still taking first year courses, so I won't have him in my curriculum at all, or be able to see him for that matter.
(TL : DR - Meeting people in small, confined school is beyond salvaging at this point)
I'm a bit perplexed as to where I can meet some people now to get myself a decent crew of friends going. It's going to have to be outside of school, that's for sure.
My main problem is that, outside of subways and buses, where else can I go to meet/hang out with people in this city?
Most people up here, while friendly, usually don't like being bothered in a bus, subway or street car. A good chunk of the time they'll either brush aside what you say or simply tell you to fuck right off. I don't blame them really; I did live in this city all of last year, and after seeing the freakshow that populates the TTC it's understandable to brush a stranger off out of a safety instinct. What few friends I made on the TTC I really had to fight tooth-and-nail for, and i'm not sure i'm able to pull the same kind of stunts I did last year when I didn't know squat about anything in this city.
If I don't do something fast i'm going to be suffering in the long run; it's absolutely vital to have a decent group of buddies to pal around with, else everything from my attitude to my work quality will suffer, and the last thing i'd like to be is a shut-in like my room mate.
I don't plan on using this thread as an end-all, be-all for my situation, but rather something that will help guide me in the right direction or give me some good tips.
So H/A, what are some things that I can do that will help me become more sociable in Toronto?
I started school in Canada last year, around late August. New city, new set of people, new everything.
I was pretty much starry-eyed in awe over how different everything was from Texas, and since I had stayed at my home for over a year with no friends for an entire year, I was more than eager to meet up with some new people. So as a result, I spent a lot of time meeting up with people in my school and on subways/buses.
And that worked out great for a little while.
However, about a quarter through my first year at school, shitty things started happening in my classes. I don't want to go into detail here, but long story short I had a falling out with the original group I was stationed with, and they simply did not want to let it go. To make things easier to understand, this old group would not shut up ever (I was stuck these same seventeen people in every class), never got anything done, and had a very high-school clickish attitude about things. This school I currently attend is a career-building school, and not a traditional college, so every group but this one was hard at work learning and bettering themselves. According to the faculty this group that I was in was the worst out of the entire school's history.
Because of this I decided to leg it and switch to the quieter first year group, and I guess these people took it as a personal insult or something. They went out of their way to spread all sorts of stupid shit about me for god knows why, and now I am hurting because of it. This isn't something i'm making up either; I have a few friends in the other groups who would tell me all the stuff they heard being said about me while I was away, and they weren't comfortable with it.
Something i'd like to point out is that my school is tiny; there is at best only a student body of one hundred and fifty people that make up the entire school population. Rumors and hearsay spread like wildfire around here, and before I knew it I had been blacklisted by a great majority of the first year group. When this happened, most people wouldn't even give me the time of day at school; even people I used to talk to frequently sort of just fizzled out because they didn't want to be painted black or whatever.
In short, first semester sucked hard.
Second semester was easier, because I was finally able to grab myself a good friend named Dorian. We'd hang out all of the time, and later down the road I met up with my buddy Matthew, a quiet, reserved guy who is now my roommate here in Toronto. Despite all of the shit I had to put up with, I was able to manage through it because of these guys.
Unfortunately, this year's a bit different.
We had 55% of the entire first-year animation group drop out, quit or fall out by year two, something unheard of in any school. What's worse was that most of the people who left/quit were the friends that I made in the quiet group, while a good chunk of what stayed for year two are the people who made my first year here so shitty to put up with. It's just the luck of the draw I suppose, but it really sucks getting the short end of the stick again after all that I put up with. It's particularly bad because my best friend there is still taking first year courses, so I won't have him in my curriculum at all, or be able to see him for that matter.
(TL : DR - Meeting people in small, confined school is beyond salvaging at this point)
I'm a bit perplexed as to where I can meet some people now to get myself a decent crew of friends going. It's going to have to be outside of school, that's for sure.
My main problem is that, outside of subways and buses, where else can I go to meet/hang out with people in this city?
Most people up here, while friendly, usually don't like being bothered in a bus, subway or street car. A good chunk of the time they'll either brush aside what you say or simply tell you to fuck right off. I don't blame them really; I did live in this city all of last year, and after seeing the freakshow that populates the TTC it's understandable to brush a stranger off out of a safety instinct. What few friends I made on the TTC I really had to fight tooth-and-nail for, and i'm not sure i'm able to pull the same kind of stunts I did last year when I didn't know squat about anything in this city.
If I don't do something fast i'm going to be suffering in the long run; it's absolutely vital to have a decent group of buddies to pal around with, else everything from my attitude to my work quality will suffer, and the last thing i'd like to be is a shut-in like my room mate.
I don't plan on using this thread as an end-all, be-all for my situation, but rather something that will help guide me in the right direction or give me some good tips.
So H/A, what are some things that I can do that will help me become more sociable in Toronto?
Godfather on
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But then there are always clubs and stuff so I can't complain too much. As far as your situation... I was more commiserating than having any actual advice.
you could also like, take up a martial art? Or like not a martial art, maybe some yoga or tai-chi? You'd meet people there, maybe not your exact age but meh. Oh euh, hang out at starbucks maybe?
edit: This might not work for most people, but i've gotten a few good buddies just from reading a book in bars (during the day) and not passing up any sort of conversation. Also asking the serving crew how their day is going, if its been busy. I've found a lot of bartenders and such like to complain to people who seem interested in their woes. Which gives you an in to talk about nicer stuff etc.
I've had a lot of fun with it
www.plentyoffish.com - free online dating
lot's of picky bitches and single moms showing their cans...good times
I met up with four people on that site, and every one of them was a social nightmare. I had to do a majority of the talking, the person was always a wreck, both physically and mentally, and almost every woman I met there just wanted a pity fuck.
Fuck that.
EDIT: I think the university idea is a good start. There's another art school close by that seems to be more or less the traditional college experience everyone usually gets. I don't think it's a permanent solution, because last time I attended a university at home for a couple of classes, most of the students didn't have time to hang out outside of school because of their own curriculum.
It might be fair to ask for advice on how to meet up/approach complete strangers in general without looking like a complete creep/tool. It definitely takes a lot of moxie to go up and do that sort of thing, but it isn't something that's impossible. Since i'm not going to ever have the luxury of having a colossal group of people my age to socialize with in a school environment, i've got to work with what I got. I'm trying to turn this serious social road block into a blessing instead.
One last note that I should make is that I don't really drink; rather, I drink, but just for the taste, not to get drunk. Since I just turned 21 last July I haven't really had any club experience, and if I learned anything from bar hopping with some school buddies last year, it's that you have to drink, period. If you don't do that, you're wasting your time.
I'd tell you the name, but i'm actually embarrassed by it.
Eh, thats not really true this time of year, and students in the first two years really shouldn't be so busy, those years are pretty easy really. Sure, towards end of term or around mid term times, people in traditional universities will be really busy, but the key for you now would be to get to know people in the first couple of weeks at school.
I don't know if you're from a big city back home, but as someone from Vancouver, I'm told us native residents are fairly difficult to get to know, and we don't respond all that well to random approaches from strangers. Hell, I don't even like it when the staff at Chapters want to talk to me about the books I'm browsing. :P . As Toronto is an even bigger city, the same is probably true there.
The reason I suggest clubs at universities is that you will be meeting people with a couple of things in common, being students and being interested in whatever the club is about, which gives you a better base to connect with people than just random folks.
You can also look into athletic stuff as a way to meet people.
In the south everything's out in the open, and most people won't mind it if a stranger comes up and starts talking to one another. Most people in Toronto are just frigid, plain and simple.
I used to think the people in Houston could be bad, but there you have it. I'm just glad that I didn't live in San Antonio or Austin, because this whole set-up would be world shattering to me right now.
Bah, enough bitching. I'll look up whatever the local university activities are being offered around the city first thing in the morn.
There are several active fighting game communities in Toronto. If you enjoy SF4, SF2, SF3, MvC2, SC4, SC:BD, or BB then there are many people who would be willing to be your friend, I'm sure. Probably Smash as well, but I don't associate myself with those types.
Other than that, I don't know. Find a hang out? Join a club or take a night class?
Maybe if you like cool things I could even be your friend. Maybe.
Anyone want to beta read a paranormal mystery novella? Here's your chance.
stream
I think I pass that place all the time! (I live just south of there, other side of King st and the Go Tracks)
Now, I get what you're saying about poeple here in Toronto, but it's not that bad. I mean, yes, you can't really talk to people on the TTC. People on the TTC usually just want to get where their going and not be bothered (Think New York Subway type) but out and about during the day people are really friendly. I mean, Toronto is a pretty friendly city, but you can't always expect to walk up to someone and make a friend. Can you really do that any big city?
It's also the neighborhoods you're in. A few blocks west of your school is probably pretty hard to talk to people. Lots of nasties. Same thing with the financial district, probably not many friendly people there either.
But in neighborhoods like the Annex? UofT campus? Kensignton Market? All filled with great people. Try out some of those areas and see what you can find.
And like Page said, Maybe if you like cool things I could even be your friend. Maybe. :P
Most of the places I hang out are on Queen Street, usually stopping in the downtown area around the Eaton Center, and if i'm not mistaken that's around the start of the financial district. That could be my problem right there. I've been to other places every now and then, but mainly in that area because, hey, that's where school is located. I'll probably be back around five-ish to drop my stuff off and then head out again.
I gotta stock up on some school supplies/books today, so i'll probably be swamped most of the afternoon. The good (or bad) news is that my roommate decided to head back to Mississauga from today till Monday evening, so i'm pretty much stuck fending for myself for the weekend
EDIT: Should probably point out that I play a lot of Marvel vs. Capcom 2, but i'm only good at the PS2 version. Rarely have I played the arcade version; there's a MvC2 cabinet in one of the Chinatown malls, but the damage is jacked way up so that players usually die in 6 hits. It's a total rip-off.