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Weirdest person you have ever known?

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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Shivahn wrote: »
    Man, I am always classy.

    Seriously though I always feel like, not only do I not exist as the proper sex, my current body prevents me from ever being right. It's a really depressing thought.

    That said, I'm probably on a lot of people's lists.

    Er... me too, and me too. God damn it depresses me sometimes.

    Shivahn, you are absolutely one of the coolest m...f...people I know. Ever. :P

    Of course, I'm pretty fucking weird (I mean I spent eight hours on a post wherein I compared a video game to, among other things, Fight Club, Gran Torino, and fucking Menudo) so you know
    Also, to be on-thread
    Either this guy:
    So, I just realized that I have two stories for this thread, both not about me, but about my friends- current and former
    I'll save the really fucked up one for later, but for now, peruse the life story of Will, my Good Friend Who Has Made Some Terrible Decisions Recently

    Me and Will were always very good friends, although Will was a bit...antisocial
    Which is saying something coming from me, because I was an annoying fuck in my teenage years. But I was the harmless "knows a lot about math and dresses poorly" geek, not the "wears Russian infantrymen trenchcoats, is in love with Stalin, and talks about Linux waaay too fucking much to be considered a normal human being" geek

    Anyways, he was a really nice guy, but he literally talked exactly like Mandark and had a bit of a....funk about him. Like, it was really bad. He also had a somewhat unhealthy obsession with guns. Didn't help in the ol' high school to be naming off Russian weaponry from memory. As one can imagine, this did not help with the ladies, and Will had unfortunately remained dateless in high school

    When I was...16 (he was 15), he had to move to SoCal to move in with his dad (he was having some problems in high school). Sucked bad, we tried to stay in touch but failed, etc etc

    Well, he got a Facebook account about 6 months later, so we started to get in contact again

    About 6 months after that, I joined the Army. I was 17, he was 16. After basic, I talked to him again, and he told me about how he'd been dating a girl, Pepper (no really that was her name), and how awesome she was, she was a cosplayer (Will is a huge motherfucking otaku motherfucker), they went to AnimeCon together, she loves video games, they've been dating, blah blah blah

    Well, I was very happy for him. He deserve to be dating someone, he's a great guy, they're on the same wavelength, match made in heaven right?

    Well, apparently not. When I went on leave for Christmas leave (this would be about a month later), I hooked up with him and we hung out. I asked about Pepper

    "We broke up"

    Aww man that sucks dude. Did the whole "sympathetic bro" thing, but at least he'll be more confident with other women right?

    So I go back to the Army from leave, am working for about...uh...about 3 months, finish AIT, go home on leave again for a month

    Meet up with Will, he's apparently visiting family whilst I'm there. Awesome coincidence

    "So, how's your personal life going?"

    "Aww, great man! Me and Pepper are back together!"



    "And we're engaged!"




    Uh...what?

    Yeah. In three months after they broke up, they got back together, and got engaged, and both had not finished high school yet

    Oh, Pepper got moved to another high school in the same part of SoCal, but about 200 miles away. Will does not have a car. So it's an LDE

    He did not get her a ring, because, well, he's motherfucking 16. So in effect this whole engagement thing amounts to "WANNA GET MARRIED?!?!" "YA SHURE" "LOL!!!! AWESOMMM!!!!!!!!"

    More fun facts:
    His dad (when he learned his son was engaged at 16) was understandably pissed, and reacted somewhat poorly- restricting Will from internet access, placing some sort of alert on Will's cell that restricted both the numbers he could call and the times he could call them, and forbidding Will from ever seeing Pepper. So, there have been times in this whole engagement when they can't even hear each other's voices, much less see each other with any regularity

    This is Will's first girlfriend. Now, I'm not saying there's no such thing as love at first sight, I'm just saying don't treat a guppie as a 30 lb trout just cause it's the first thing that bit the line

    They're waiting to have sex until they are married. And honestly, I have no fucking clue why- Will's pretty antireligious, and liberal as hell. Anyways, that little factoid makes this whole "engagement" thing, to me, sound like an excuse to have guilt-free sex with a girl. Which is disturbing

    Oh, about that whole "no sex till marriage" thing? They're getting married when they're 21. Which, to everyone reading this overly long story, sounds like a fuckawesome idea. But why are they waiting until they're 21 to get married?
    So they can legally serve alcohol at the reception. Yes, this is the real actual reason they are waiting 'till they're 21. I really really wish I was joking


    Finally, Will has already declared me the best man for wedding. For his wedding that won't happen for...3 years. I...I don't know what to think of all this

    Or this other guy, which I never told his story in that thread

    But now I will!

    Okay when I was going to high school I had a best female friend named Vienna who was a total type A bitchy girl I knew

    One of the worst people I ever knew

    But this story isn't about her! It was about her first (ex-)boyfriend, Kyle!

    This man was a friend of mine in high school freshman/partial sophomore year. Comes up to me one day

    "Hey <Rent>"

    "Hey Kyle"

    "Would it be okay with you if I dated Vienna?"

    "o_O Dude...why are you asking me?"

    "Because I thought you had a thing" (Rent Note: Vienna was very...heavy and not attractive in the face at all)

    "Dude hell no"

    So I gave him my "blessing"- something I felt very uncomfortable doing in the first place- to him dating her and all was well and I was happy because Kyle was painfully socially retarded, and this is in comparison to a geeky guy who actually wore a Naruto headband to school, what the fuck was I thinking when I was 14 goddamn I was an idiot

    Anyways

    So they're "dating" for a couple of weeks- I say "dating" because Vienna was LDS and she wasn't 16 yet so she wasn't "dating" technically blah blah blah

    And then I start to get them

    The signs that he, Kyle, is a fucking psycho

    Signs:
    • Believed he was an actual werewolf. For reals. Like, went to a support group (?) for people who would turn into werewolves against their will. And described the meetings to me in disturbing detail
    • Wore a Punisher shirt like every fuckin' day. Every day. Quoted the movie endlessly
    • Described in lucid detail his attempts to videotape "Girls Gone Wild" whenever it came on at two in the morning on Spike. Don't wanna hear about your attempt to get wanking materials dudes
    • Believed he could perform telekinesis, and believed telekinesis meant he could explode people's MINDS (doesn't it just allow you to move stuff with your mind)? To this end bought (yes bought) a pdf file on how to develop his telekinesis
    • Wore those Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie goggles to school every day, then would ask me why he was picked on every day
    • Had a creepy obsession with the military and would talk endlessly about all the guns he shot and how he was gonna be a Ranger in the Army and blah blah blah (Ironic note: I end up joining the Army three years later and see his silly goose ass at the local game shop pretending to be subject matter expert on the military, still (wanted to slap him in the face right then)

    Anyways, all this combined make me go to Vienna (who I had previously urged to give him a chance) and urge him to dump his crazy ass. All of our friends join me because hollllllllllllllly shit Kyle was crazy

    Also he was weirdly possessive and stalkery and would pull Vienna away just to talk to him and what the fuck dude she can talk to another human being

    Anyways she doesn't and calls us all wrong about him, and for some unexplained reason told him what I said about him so then Kyle comes over to me, threatening me (good foot, at least, shorter than me so kind of hilarious in and of itself) to stop telling Vienna to break up with him or he'd "Turn into a werewolf and rip my throat out" and would "Explode my BRAIN with TELEKINESIS"

    Anyways, literally laughed in his face and walked away and proceeded to urge Vienna even more to dump him, because I was a dick who really didn't know what to not involve myself in back when I was 14

    She dumped him about a month later (Well according to her she never dated him because she wasn't 16 yet but somehow it made her an expert on relationships and god she was an awful person), and he basically went senile and left my group of friends alone

    But yeah those're the crazy people I know

    Rent on
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    SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Kyougu wrote: »
    Sipex wrote: »
    The weirdest person I've known is a gothy(ish) gaming girl who doesn't believe she is a guy or a girl. She prefers to be referred to as 'it' and plans on getting her parts changed enough so she's as plain as possible.

    She also stalks her potential dates. Amazingly this works well for her.

    This is tame compared to some stuff here though.

    So what are the genders of her dates?

    She used to date male, then realised she was gay then realised she didn't really identify as a woman but still prefers women.

    Also, I think her plans are
    - Remove Uterus
    - Remove Breasts
    - Keep everything else

    Sipex on
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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Is that the thing the kids play Yu-Gi-Oh cards with?

    Yes, it's a
    DUEL DISK SYSTEM! (trademark)

    Rent on
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    JurgJurg In a TeacupRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I used to be this guy for a lot of people. My friend would tell me about how people were worried that I'd shoot up our high school.

    But I've learned how to be more charismatic. I don't wear Hawaiin shirts everyday anymore, for example.

    Jurg on
    sig.gif
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    emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?

    emnmnme on
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    kdrudykdrudy Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?

    Only if you give them elaborate names and attack power

    kdrudy on
    tvsfrank.jpg
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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?
    My grandpa has a good quote about these things actually
    "Playing Duel Monsters is just like making love: You usually do it on a table, and always feel deep shame afterwards. So remember, ALWAYS wear a condom when playing Duel Monsters."
    Hmm I should probably wash my hands before touching these

    Remember, you treat a duel disk just like a woman: You attach one on your arm and insert trading cards into it at regular intervals

    Rent on
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    emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    kdrudy wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?

    Only if you give them elaborate names and attack power

    "I call - Cassidy Moons! She has a thigh-strength of 7 and can fire three ping-pong balls immediately after being summoned."

    emnmnme on
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    darkmayo wrote: »
    Arkady wrote: »
    Corehealer wrote: »

    I got nothing. That's just... wow.

    I know right? Naruto doesn't have a sword.

    That was my first thought after reading it, then the second one was .. "maybe he meant Sasuke"

    Don't try to figure it out! That's how they get ya!

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    HozHoz Cool Cat Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Rent wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?
    My grandpa has a good quote about these things actually
    "Playing Duel Monsters is just like making love: You usually do it on a table, and always feel deep shame afterwards. So remember, ALWAYS wear a condom when playing Duel Monsters."
    Hmm I should probably wash my hands before touching these

    Remember, you treat a duel disk just like a woman: You attach one on your arm and insert trading cards into it at regular intervals
    Why does your grandfather feel deep shame after having sex?

    Who is he having sex with? Or what?

    Hoz on
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    RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Hoz wrote: »
    Rent wrote: »
    emnmnme wrote: »
    Can it hold playing cards with naked ladies on them?
    My grandpa has a good quote about these things actually
    "Playing Duel Monsters is just like making love: You usually do it on a table, and always feel deep shame afterwards. So remember, ALWAYS wear a condom when playing Duel Monsters."
    Hmm I should probably wash my hands before touching these

    Remember, you treat a duel disk just like a woman: You attach one on your arm and insert trading cards into it at regular intervals
    Why does your grandfather feel deep shame after having sex?

    Who is he having sex with? Or what?

    Ohhhh Black Luster Soldier, no one must ever know of our forbidden love...

    Rent on
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    McAllenMcAllen Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    She's friends with drug dealers, drag queens and dominatrices.

    Check, check, check.
    SanderJK wrote: »
    being so drunk that he couldn't put his pants back up after going to the bathroom, blacking out and forgetting entire nights, shouting gibberish in crowded streets.

    Check, check, check.

    Those seem pretty normal if you went to college, and continue to live in, NYC like me.

    I have a couple:

    #1: One of my former roommates is kind of a crazy anarchist kid. Now, I know quite a few anarchists but this guy takes the cake. Completely lacks a sense of humor. Everything is doom and gloom to him. He made me turn off certain music because it reminded him of his ex-girlfriend. He made us turn off and remove the batteries from our cell phones when we discussed political actions because "they" might be listening. I'm pretty sure he's a 9/11 Truther. The first day we met him, he told us he's "not a good person when I'm not high". I don't know if you guys remember this, but it was in the news last spring, him and a bunch of other kids broke into one of our university buildings in the middle of the night and "occupied" it by barricading themselves inside because they hated our university president and wanted him to resign (which is actually kind of badass, and inspired similar actions in California). He has Bukowski and Godspeed You Black Emperor tattoos. Tried to smash a cop car's window in the middle of the night. Got subpoenaed by the FBI for being an anarchist and almost went to jail for a year. Accused a couple of our friends of being FBI informants. Tried to learn Muay Thai fighting, in case he went to jail. Got into an argument at Pita Joe because they called it an Israeli Salad instead of a Palestinian Salad. Tirades endlessly against capitalist society, yet calls his mother and demands money for cigarettes. Despite all this, he's actually a really nice kid and a lot of fun to hang out and get high with!

    #2: I'm not sure who the craziest person in this scenario is, but this is the most awful thing I've ever been (tangentially) involved in. My friend was out of town visiting family when her cat died. She decided that she wanted to hold a funeral for it, so her roommates put the dead cat in the freezer until she came back. When she finally came back, they decided to create a funeral pyre. Except that "funeral pyre", in this case, means "putting the dead cat on a barbecue grill on the apartment rooftop, dousing it in lighter fluid, and setting it aflame". One of the kids involved put on a robe, hood, and skull necklace while performing this ritual. The dead cat burned for about half an hour, and then another kid, who is apparently "interested" in taxidermy, SAWED OFF ITS FUCKING HEAD WITH A KNIFE AND BOILED IT SO HE COULD KEEP THE SKULL WHICH HE NOW WEARS AS A NECKLACE.

    The second story made me laugh out loud, it reminds me of a time my brother's friend tried the same thing where they wanted to cremate his friend's deceased iguana. It sort of jellified instead of turning into ash so instead of feeling spiritual or relieved they threw the gelatinous goop into the trash can.

    McAllen on
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    Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Corehealer wrote: »
    There was a girl in high school named Ashley Catchpole.

    I know that's not her fault, but damn.

    Nothing beats this girl I knew in high school named Britney Bitcher. Ironically she rarely did any bitching and had no desire to change her name.

    My hometown was FULL of people with tragic names.

    From Keith Krapp the chemist, Dwayne Pipe the Plumber and Richard "Pube" Hair in the wider community, my school in particular had heaps of odd names.

    There was a hippy family with children by the names of Rainbow, Sunshine, River and.... Natasha. Guess when the family left the commune?

    Kurt Russel, Ryan Girder(which was a twofor) and Michael Meyers. Not bad, just, you know.

    Then we had Clae Potter, Theresa Green and Rebel... something.

    We had Mike Hunt. Who was.

    But amongst the most tragic of all, was Wayne King, who never really had a shot at a normal life.

    Apothe0sis on
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    emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    What's wrong with Theressa Green?

    emnmnme on
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    Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    emnmnme wrote: »
    What's wrong with Theressa Green?

    Trees are Green.

    It's the way that Australians say it the First vowel sound is a very heavily swallowed schwa.

    So it ends up as Tu-reesa Green

    Apothe0sis on
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    NargorothRiPNargorothRiP Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    I know a red headed girl named cinnamon bacon. Thats right a fat red head whos name reminds you of a Bob Evans dessert.

    NargorothRiP on
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    cloudeaglecloudeagle Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Allow me to introduce you to Colin, a chap I knew from my university's honors college.

    Now Colin would immediately give you an odd impression. Think of the absolute worst impression of a stereotypical "nerd" voice you can think of. The kind jr. high kids would make when they wanted to be cruel. Something like a combination of Kermit the Frog and Mr. Spock. Well, he had that voice and always talked that way. Furthermore, he ALWAYS referred to people as Mr./Mrs. (last name). Always. Even if you knew him for a long time, even if you had been talking with him for half an hour.

    Now the odd impression is assuming Colin didn't recently decide to give himself a haircut, which he did frequently. In which case you got a "holy shit what is wrong with you" impression. One time he shaved the sides off, but the right side was a good two inches higher than the left side. Another time his head was covered with small bald patches interspersed with patches with hair, sort of like what happens when a cartoon character gets attacked by a pack of rabid hamsters.

    Again, this dude was in the honors college. He was nuts, but he was brilliant.

    Part of the reason I know this is that, on my watch as the honors college's computer lab monitor, he stole a computer's RAM. No, not the computer. He waited till I went off to grab something to eat and foolishly left the lab unattended, then he carefully disassembled a computer, removed the RAM, and put it back together.

    He also had notoriously poor social skills. One time a bunch of us went on a nature trail to hang around. Colin found a waist-high rock that he climbed onto, jumped off, and climbed back onto over and over and over. Finally one of the girls gets curious.

    "Colin, why are you doing that?"
    "Well, Ms. O'Brien, it's because it makes my wiener hard."

    Keep in mind he didn't say that as a come-on, he said that simply to be 100% honest.

    Another time he found a squirrel that had been run over by a car, and its head had come off. What does Colin decide to do with it? Why, nail it to a tree. Holding its own head in its hands.

    Finally there was the time he decided to completely disassemble a car engine and reassemble it in his dorm room. Now, the co-ed dorm was pretty old and had wooden floors which were visibly sagging from the weight of the engine. Somehow the RA (a rather large woman) found out, came in and informed him that he couldn't have the engine in his room since it was far too heavy and that this was a very serious matter. How did Colin respond? without a solitary trace of malice or cruelty in his voice, he said to her:

    "Well, you're very heavy and you're allowed in here."

    Wish I knew what happened to Colin, but he was a freshman while I was a senior and I quickly lost track.

    cloudeagle on
    Switch: 3947-4890-9293
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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    My wisdom teeth were removed by a man named Dr. Fear.

    In undergrad I knew a dude named Cedar Knole; his parents' last name wasn't Knole, they just named him after trees.

    They were both nice, seemingly-regular people though.

    Eat it You Nasty Pig. on
    NREqxl5.jpg
    it was the smallest on the list but
    Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
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    ravensmuseravensmuse Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    My favorite one would have to be Puppy Guy, who tours the convention scene here in Boston (as far I know; he could roam, *shrug*).

    He walks around the convention floor with a stuffed puppy dog puppet that he strokes like its real. And just watches people. Just...watches...people. It's more than just a little creepy. And he shows up all over the place! You turn a corner and boom! There he is. And he's always watching...

    My girlfriend was stuck in an elevator with him once. She worked in Cambridge at the time and decided to get our passes early on the Friday of. This was her first experience with this con (and after another two tries at it, both of us stopped going), and when she got onto an elevator, there he was. He tried to get her number while he stared and tried to make small talk with her, on an elevator with a broken motor because too many idiot nerds had tried to stuff as many of themselves in it that they could. Our luck and experience with him only got worse as we kept running into him.

    ravensmuse on
    READ MY BLOG - Web Serial Fantasy - Tabletop Gaming Snips & Reviews - Flea Market Hunting
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    ItalaxItalax Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Dyscord wrote: »
    My wisdom teeth were removed by a man named Dr. Fear.

    In undergrad I knew a dude named Cedar Knole; his parents' last name wasn't Knole, they just named him after trees.

    They were both nice, seemingly-regular people though.

    In my first year at university I lived with a guy who was training to be a doctor.

    His name was Johnny Fear. Dr Johnny Fear.

    Great guy.

    Italax on
    PSN: Italax - Steam ID : Italax
    Sometimes I Stream Games: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/italax-plays-video-games
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    LacroixLacroix Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    Probably not the weirdest. But he was considered weird by my university Roleplaying Society so... y'know. I only got two or three glimpses so I dunno if he was all bad.

    When I first met him, everyone seemed to call him '...Dave'. Like, with a pause. This is because people actually refer to him as 'Creepy Dave' and have to catch themselves to stop saying it to his face.

    The guy believed he could quantum tunnel through walls. When he was 5, he totally walked through a wall, and he could feel himself burrowing through it. He also never stops telling this story.

    My one long 'conversation' with him was about anime... where he mentions 'guru'(?) - basically anime gore porn. He proceeds to tell me how wonderful this is, and does a long impression of a girl being cut by knives whilst making orgasm-esque noises and laughing.


    There was also a girl at my sixth form who was cut all up her arms to the shoulders, and always wore vest tops to show this off. She never said it was self-harm though and claimed they were cat scratches. She also was, I can only assume, a compulsive liar. She knew all the celebrities, and 'sorry if I seem tired today, Sting took me to a premier in London last night, I got a helicopter back this morning' with no trace of lying in her voice. She could pass a lie-detector for saying the most blatantly untrue stuff.... and she did kinda speak like Luna Lovegood with that airy quality to her voice as if you almost aren't there. She actually seemed like a really decent person though, in as far as I could ever claim to have known her, she was never mean or anything. She also reallly enjoyed humming the 'Meow Mix' song.


    As I said... pretty mild by comparison, but I still thought he deserved a mention because, had I spent more time with him, i'm sure there would be more stories.

    Lacroix on
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    darkmayodarkmayo Registered User regular
    edited March 2010
    cloudeagle wrote: »
    Part of the reason I know this is that, on my watch as the honors college's computer lab monitor, he stole a computer's RAM. No, not the computer. He waited till I went off to grab something to eat and foolishly left the lab unattended, then he carefully disassembled a computer, removed the RAM, and put it back together.


    Pulling Ram from a desktop is pretty easy once the case is open its right there, tho the car engine bit.. yea thats impressive.

    darkmayo on
    Switch SW-6182-1526-0041
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