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The Liberal Agenda: ITT We Pat Backs
The Ender
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'm afraid I can no longer burden myself with the secret. It's true, Conservatives: the Liberal walks among you, scheming the unthinkable. Gay marriage? Science in science class? History in history class? Advanced medical treatment for those who aren't among the super rich? Moving people from their luxury gutters in the big city into housing without even one tug at their bootstraps?
Surely the madness can't go so deep? Oh, comrade, it goes so much deeper.
I ALWAYS KNEW ANNE COULTER WAS ON TO SOMETHING! AND YOU HAVE THE PRESIDENT ON YOUR PAYROLL TOO, RIGHT?
Oh, it's far worse than that. The Liberal Agenda has been at work since the inception of western democratic principles, it's terrible mechanisms installed into the core infrastructure that western democracies work through. You see, you don't need this guy:
Not a liberal
When you've already got this guy:
TEH LIBREL! TEH SHOCK! TEH HORRORS!
GASP!
And Paine is just the tip of the iceberg. Franklin? Jefferson? Madison? Our agents are to be found everywhere.
MONSTER! I WANT MY AMERICA BACK!
Oh dear. I'm not sure how to tell you this. Here, just take a look at this:
Planet Earth. America shown in green. It's on the left side. Look for the medium-ish sized country underneath Canada.
OH MY DEAR SWEET CHRIST WHAT IS THAT!?
That's a picture of something called 'the world'. This is going to be a lot to take in at once.
BUT THAT PICTURE SAYS AMERICA ISNT EVEN THE BIGGEST COUNTRY! THIS MUST BE MORE LIBERAL PROPAGANDA!
Well, I guess you could call it that. I mean, it is only factually accurate.
I KNEW IT!
See, the problem with wanting 'Your America' back is that you're actually talking about the world circa 1980. And that was kind of, well, 30 years ago, with an American President who had Alzheimer's Disease and consulted a psychic counselor for advice--
IT WORKED FOR PICARD!
Well...
Counsellor Troi
Joan Quigley
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Well, anyway, the Soviet Empire was crumbling around the feet of Gobachev... err, that's, like, who the 'American President' of Russia was at the time--
GORBACHEV? HE WAS ONE OF THE EVILDOERS OF COMMUNISM, RIGHT?
Right. Sure.
So, like, the evil communist empire was disintegrating, and it felt pretty good to be a wealthy or even middle class white American citizen because everything seemed to be going right. The 'bad guys' were losing the big awesome fight, people were offloading the cost of their decadent living onto poor folks & later generations, walkmen & video games were coming into the mainstream, girls were wearing leg warmers...
nomnomnom
...and a short-sighted leader who was losing his grip on reality was telling all of the well off white folks that things could always stay this awesome forever!
HELL YEAH! THAT'S MY AMERICA!
Well, unfortunately, there aren't any more Stalinist empires to bait into Afghanistan and, while you came pretty close to landing a senile president with dementia, you didn't quite get there. And yes, I'm sorry to say that The Liberal Agenda had something to do with the latter.
See, The Liberal doesn't want to go back to the 1980s. The Liberal wants to move ahead.
YOU'RE ALL CRAZY! IF WE DON'T GET BACK TO OUR ROOTS AND LET TRADITIONAL AMERICAN VALUES TAKE CHARGE, HOW ARE WE GONNA STOP THE TERRORISTS!?
Ah, yes. The terrorists. The Liberal Agenda has plans for them. Stage one of our operation involves encouraging all Americans to get in possession of one of these:
THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A GUN TO ME!
Well, here's the thing about firearms: they don't work well against figments of your imagination. If everyone chills out about the freak tragedy that happened on 9/11, though, you could maybe take some of the money you're wasting on expensive military toys and put it into, say, treating heart disease:
Note the lack of 'DEM GANNISTANIANS!' as a leading factor of death within the United States. Yes, this chart includes 9/11
DAMN YOUR LIBERAL FACT PROPAGANDA! YOU'RE SO WELL READ AND WORLDLY, WILL WE NEVER DEFEAT YOU!?
It's not terribly likely. I highly recommend seeking out this man for assistance in your struggle:
If anyone will bring Your America back, it's Alex Jones and the Infowars guys.
TL;DR: I make fun of Rethuglicans. and call Reagan a lunatic.
So, who wants to tell me how right I am? :P
Surely the madness can't go so deep? Oh, comrade, it goes so much deeper.
I ALWAYS KNEW ANNE COULTER WAS ON TO SOMETHING! AND YOU HAVE THE PRESIDENT ON YOUR PAYROLL TOO, RIGHT?
Oh, it's far worse than that. The Liberal Agenda has been at work since the inception of western democratic principles, it's terrible mechanisms installed into the core infrastructure that western democracies work through. You see, you don't need this guy:
Not a liberal
When you've already got this guy:
TEH LIBREL! TEH SHOCK! TEH HORRORS!
GASP!
And Paine is just the tip of the iceberg. Franklin? Jefferson? Madison? Our agents are to be found everywhere.
MONSTER! I WANT MY AMERICA BACK!
Oh dear. I'm not sure how to tell you this. Here, just take a look at this:
Planet Earth. America shown in green. It's on the left side. Look for the medium-ish sized country underneath Canada.
OH MY DEAR SWEET CHRIST WHAT IS THAT!?
That's a picture of something called 'the world'. This is going to be a lot to take in at once.
BUT THAT PICTURE SAYS AMERICA ISNT EVEN THE BIGGEST COUNTRY! THIS MUST BE MORE LIBERAL PROPAGANDA!
Well, I guess you could call it that. I mean, it is only factually accurate.
I KNEW IT!
See, the problem with wanting 'Your America' back is that you're actually talking about the world circa 1980. And that was kind of, well, 30 years ago, with an American President who had Alzheimer's Disease and consulted a psychic counselor for advice--
IT WORKED FOR PICARD!
Well...
Counsellor Troi
Joan Quigley
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Well, anyway, the Soviet Empire was crumbling around the feet of Gobachev... err, that's, like, who the 'American President' of Russia was at the time--
GORBACHEV? HE WAS ONE OF THE EVILDOERS OF COMMUNISM, RIGHT?
Right. Sure.
So, like, the evil communist empire was disintegrating, and it felt pretty good to be a wealthy or even middle class white American citizen because everything seemed to be going right. The 'bad guys' were losing the big awesome fight, people were offloading the cost of their decadent living onto poor folks & later generations, walkmen & video games were coming into the mainstream, girls were wearing leg warmers...
nomnomnom
...and a short-sighted leader who was losing his grip on reality was telling all of the well off white folks that things could always stay this awesome forever!
HELL YEAH! THAT'S MY AMERICA!
Well, unfortunately, there aren't any more Stalinist empires to bait into Afghanistan and, while you came pretty close to landing a senile president with dementia, you didn't quite get there. And yes, I'm sorry to say that The Liberal Agenda had something to do with the latter.
See, The Liberal doesn't want to go back to the 1980s. The Liberal wants to move ahead.
YOU'RE ALL CRAZY! IF WE DON'T GET BACK TO OUR ROOTS AND LET TRADITIONAL AMERICAN VALUES TAKE CHARGE, HOW ARE WE GONNA STOP THE TERRORISTS!?
Ah, yes. The terrorists. The Liberal Agenda has plans for them. Stage one of our operation involves encouraging all Americans to get in possession of one of these:
THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A GUN TO ME!
Well, here's the thing about firearms: they don't work well against figments of your imagination. If everyone chills out about the freak tragedy that happened on 9/11, though, you could maybe take some of the money you're wasting on expensive military toys and put it into, say, treating heart disease:
Note the lack of 'DEM GANNISTANIANS!' as a leading factor of death within the United States. Yes, this chart includes 9/11
DAMN YOUR LIBERAL FACT PROPAGANDA! YOU'RE SO WELL READ AND WORLDLY, WILL WE NEVER DEFEAT YOU!?
It's not terribly likely. I highly recommend seeking out this man for assistance in your struggle:
If anyone will bring Your America back, it's Alex Jones and the Infowars guys.
TL;DR: I make fun of Rethuglicans. and call Reagan a lunatic.
So, who wants to tell me how right I am? :P
With Love and Courage
The Ender on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
This made me lol.
It's gonna be okay. Shhh.
You hear that rustling noise? That's the sound of the Bourgeoisie's wealth being redistributed. We allow that sort of thing in here.
you're not very bright, are you
Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
If it is, it's not nearly crazy enough to hold a candle to that thread.
I dunno, since I'm liberal I'm not really offended by this thread, but maybe ModernMan or dragonsama will want to chime in and make this thread fun. Otherwise, we sorta already have threads that function as liberal sounding boards.
Sanity is not necessarily a virtue the liberals have a monopoly on.
It's just that our modern discourse has basically become Conservatives vs Functioning Humans, so it looks kind of lopsided.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
Darn.
"NO IT ISN'T!"
he must be trying to maintain the balance or something
Well, let's be honest: most conservatives really aren't sure there is a Russia. 'Russia' and 'Soviet Union' are sort of like metaphysical terms to a Reagan era conservative; they know that the words mean bad things like COMMUNISM, but the world drops off into NOTMERRKALAND at the edge of either seaboard, so notions of size will just hang there incoherently.
This is... not that thread.
They look like liberal legwarmers, too.
It's just composed of the Gay Agenda and the Women's Agenda and the Black/Brown Agenda and the....
Well, you get the point.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
No; this is the thread for posting embarrassing Fox News clips, and/or embarrassing stories involving its hard right wing evangelical base.
Yes people with different political ideologies should totally be either killed or indoctrinated rather than convinced
You dumb fucker, this kind of shit is why you hate them
Hahah. Please.
See all these fancy computers that every single one of us here uses? That means we're Bourgeoisie out of the mother fucking ass, and since we might pretty much be the Lumpenproletariat, and a few of us are independent intellectuals, we're definitely gonna be the first against the wall.
ITT We Pat Backs
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
Honestly, our economy does so much to reorganize the strata of proletariat vs bourgeoisie that it's hard to see a bunch of twenty somethings getting the axe during a workers revolution when we're by and large squarely in the lower to mid income brackets.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
he was being sarcastic Sal
You show your hand too quickly, sir.
Did you know that American median income per capita is second highest in the world, but only if you include the top 1% of income earners? And that if you take away that top 1%, you plummet to the among the lowest?
You think you're within that top 1%, sparky?
Oh, the woe of the American CEO
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
...That's not how medians work. Do you mean mean?
Though you're still wrong.
This being the internet, it is occasionally difficult to tell.
I'm still not, you know, convinced, and I think having a "hurr Republicans are so fucking dumb guys" thread is ill-advised, but whatever.
Well, this is my source for that piece of facty propaganda. By all means, squash it with the might of your truthiness!
So when we're looking at who is or isn't affluent enough to warrant lead poisoning we should probably be taking that into account.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
More propaganda, from the elitist COMMUNIST liberal branch of Berkley.
Also: more legwarmers, by request:
Not all of the 80s was so bad.
OK, so, because you may well be a silly, silly goose:
The median is the midway data point. So if you chop off the top 1%, you hit the 49.5% data point as your new median. Thus it's not going to change very much. In 2007 that number was about 50k. The mean income was 60k in 2004. It was 40k for blacks, who don't have a whole lot of billionaires. To hit halfway on the planet, you need $2161.
I'm offended by your crappy grasp of mathematics.
I don't see that factoid on the linked site.
Income inequality is a huge problem in the US but statistics don't really work the way that factoid says they do.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Oh, for this thread? You can expect nothing but the goosiest of goosiness from me. :^:
Anyway, it's a stupid way of describing a real problem.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Yeah, income inequality is a big deal. As I said, the math offended me.