Inside the golem's remains, you find a small, soggy paper-mache chest. Its lid is secured with heavy bands of derfish steel, and a chain of high-quality meteoric silver has been wrapped several times around it. Eighteen locks dangle from its metal fastenings, each appearing more complex and intricate then the last. Most of the locks appear to be key-based, but a number of them seem to require more unusual measures to unlock - two are combination locks, while a third appears to have a spiral of runic letters etched into its surface. Another lock appears to have slots for several oddly shaped tokens, and yet another seems to be a solid sphere of some strange, reddish metal. The final, largest lock, set in the very middle of the chest, is carved in the shape of a demon's head, with its toothy maw being the only apparent opening.
I think I'll take [Speed Racer]. Also, I can't remember if I said it before, but thanks, Toasters, for gifting me a card. I promise I will eventually buy a [Grezzibel] card. Probably tomorrow.
Also also, the main reason I'm looking forward to the next game is because I expect stuff like this will happen all the time:
It seems as if reality itself slows down as the team walks, nay, strides away from the cave. A single spark flashes behind them, then another, until the entire cave goes up in a single massive fireball.
The team does not even look back. Speed pulls down the visor of his helmet, while everyone else puts on their sunglasses.
Stilts on
0
Options
Raneadospolice apologistyou shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered Userregular
Matt's constant dismissal of the spontaneous disappearance of Morkath, combined with the fact that Speed really doesn't like Matt, is beginning to make Speed incredibly suspicious.
Okay, I'll keep 'em coming. In fact, this one is so good I would have posted it even if NeoToma hadn't encouraged me. It involves Grezzibel, so it's topical, too!
The interior of the alchemancery shop appears to be nothing more than a small, wooden-walled room, bisected by a tall wooden counter upon which various alchemanceric baubles and doodlies have been stacked in neat piles.
An extremely attractive, and very bored-looking, human woman sits behind the counter, staring up at the ceiling and humming quietly to herself.
"'Ey, miss, oi wus wonderin' if ye'd be interested in buyin' dis." The caktin rests the flask on the counter. Dubh's fingers tap the counter in tempo to Gary's song.
The woman looks down disinterestedly at the flask, taking a long moment to adjust her hair before picking it up, unscrewing the cap, and taking a sniff.
"'s'at Roy'l 'oney?" she asks, in what is either a terrible accent or a horrifying speech impediment.
"NOW LADY HEAR,
BELIEVE THIS CAT WHEN HE TALKS
I THINK YOU COULD OFFER A LITTLE MORE MONEY
AND MAYBE YOU AND ME CAN GO INTO THE BACK AND BUST SOME FUCKIN' LOCKS"
Grezzibel deflates slightly. "'e took m'vir'ue an' t'en 'e took m'livelih'd!" Her shoulders begin to shake slightly. "Oi t'ought 'e w's d'ffren'! I t'ought 'e w's bett'r t'en all t'ot'er bears!" she wails, falling froward into Speed's arms. "...all t'hun'reds o' ot'er bears!"
Speed considers the question for a moment. On the one hand, daaaayum. On the other hand, that voice. On the other hand, daaaayum. On the other hand, this woman has slept with over 100 bears. On the other hand, daaaayum.
"I... I don't suppose you'd mind if I called you Trixie, would you?"
Everything involving Grezzibel is completely hilarious. I HAVE to buy her card now.
Also, I really will stop for now, since I should probably get some sleep. See ya'll tomo--er...later today!
Posts
plz
Or that, if it's not too much trouble for you.
haha okay!
DE?AD can I get the Grezzi-hey waitaminute!!
what does it do?
how do the cards work again?
do you gain the amount of rad on the card when you use them, or do you have to spend that much
I...uh...hope you guys don't mind me making reaction posts. I promise I'll do them very rarely!
That is why I look forward to the next game - I get to make dumb jokes again.
Thank you in advance, Toasters!
i doubt anyone would mind!
That should be all of them
Squall, do you think we could add these to the OP?
The setting isn't so much darker as it is significantly more grim. Basically, I need to limit my silliness to characters and not the world at large.
This is my one true wish
[Skills- Telepathy 70%, Thievery 40%, Dirty Fighting 20%, Telekinetic 9%]
[Traits- Street Rat 10%, Swift Thinker 10%, Fleet of Foot 10%, Sandworm Loyalty 10%, Pitiable Youngster -5%, Hard Knock Life -20%, Black Card]
[Jimothy uses NEOTOMA card!]
[Jimothy gains 40% RAD]
Jimothy sighs once more
"Well, at least I get a chance to rest", the boy says, sitting down on one of the comfy cushions the man
had strewn about the room
"Yeah, my friend back there told me to rip some info out of your head for him, so I really hope you don't mind old ma-"
Just as his eyes begin to do their thing, they suddenly stop
Jimothy squints a bit at the man, before his face lights up, metaphorically of course
"Hey, have we met before?", Jimothy says, staring at the man quizzically
pretty sure the card doesn't allow you to make up a background
that's taking liberties
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
it's cool!
and then the grim stuff will be even more shocking
and we'll all be like
daaaaaaaaaaaamn
okay yes DE?AD I WANT THE GREZZIBEL CARD
haven't decided on the second one yet, probably gonna be squall but I want to think about it a little more
[Drive: Roll Hard]
and
[Rath Dethclaw]
ferrttt
misread the card I suppose
gimme a minute to edit it up
Nah, it's fine the way it is. It's the way it must be.
Next game, though, oh man.
So many stupid jokes.
Also also, the main reason I'm looking forward to the next game is because I expect stuff like this will happen all the time:
i was thinking about the new thing today
i have an idea
it will be fun
(for me)
that'd be totally tits!
---
EDIT: Since that's, like, the third reaction post I've made in less than 2 hours, I won't do any more tonight unless I find something REALLY good.
I always wondered how you guys got those awards
(I didn't start reading until the goblin fight and bear finding the ship)
Spoilered for long:
Bearstranaut is a true champion.
EDIT: The aftermath...
Aaaahahahaha!
Everything involving Grezzibel is completely hilarious. I HAVE to buy her card now.
Also, I really will stop for now, since I should probably get some sleep. See ya'll tomo--er...later today!
done.
the addendum is I love you
this is horseshit
please insert love into the proper receptacle
oval hole, rane, oval hole
anyways let's mack