also, most important thing i've learned.. if someone is interested in you, their schedule magically frees up. if they want to see you they will MAKE IT HAPPEN, no matter what the hell else is going on. she ain't into you. and that's ok! there are other ladies!
This is the most true thing.
The lawyer I'm dating now is sooooo busy working 12-16 hour days 6-7 days a week, but as soon as we started getting serious she wants to see me every night. Took me by surprise!
Yeah. That line has and always will be a bunch of bullshit. Nobody is that busy, and this is coming from a full-time funded graduate student.
Well...if I pull a 110 hour week(it happens), I'm not going to see anyone at all. Buuut, I'd say chances are extremely slim that the person is into that range, or at least for more than a couple of weeks.
Septus on
PSN: Kurahoshi1
0
Options
kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
also, most important thing i've learned.. if someone is interested in you, their schedule magically frees up. if they want to see you they will MAKE IT HAPPEN, no matter what the hell else is going on. she ain't into you. and that's ok! there are other ladies!
This is the most true thing.
The lawyer I'm dating now is sooooo busy working 12-16 hour days 6-7 days a week, but as soon as we started getting serious she wants to see me every night. Took me by surprise!
Yeah. That line has and always will be a bunch of bullshit. Nobody is that busy, and this is coming from a full-time funded graduate student.
That's very true; the not having time thing is usually BS. That said, those periods will happen in earnest in her life so don't resent her for it. I have worked the last ten days straight between 12-16 hours a day. It is not fun.
kaliyama on
0
Options
kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
i'm the same, sometimes i'll be into a dude and it'll change the next week or two, but if there was a mutual attraction and we went on a few dates i would at the VERY least email the guy and let him know. it's just common courtesy. i'm only not answering this guy because he's fucking irritating and i made no inkling that there was attraction there or that there was going to be a second date.
i hate when people are like "i'll be really busy so i can't text you back". returning a message takes roughly 2 seconds of your time. nobody is that busy, they should just be honest and say they aren't interested. haha.
I don't know if you did this, but can't you just tell him "No"?
i'm the same, sometimes i'll be into a dude and it'll change the next week or two, but if there was a mutual attraction and we went on a few dates i would at the VERY least email the guy and let him know. it's just common courtesy. i'm only not answering this guy because he's fucking irritating and i made no inkling that there was attraction there or that there was going to be a second date.
i hate when people are like "i'll be really busy so i can't text you back". returning a message takes roughly 2 seconds of your time. nobody is that busy, they should just be honest and say they aren't interested. haha.
I don't know if you did this, but can't you just tell him "No"?
i'm really trying to avoid responding in any way whatsoever, this guy will probably misread anything i say as some kind of "interest". i've already told him point blank to stop talking to me.
retrovm on
0
Options
kaliyamaLeft to find less-moderated foraRegistered Userregular
i'm the same, sometimes i'll be into a dude and it'll change the next week or two, but if there was a mutual attraction and we went on a few dates i would at the VERY least email the guy and let him know. it's just common courtesy. i'm only not answering this guy because he's fucking irritating and i made no inkling that there was attraction there or that there was going to be a second date.
i hate when people are like "i'll be really busy so i can't text you back". returning a message takes roughly 2 seconds of your time. nobody is that busy, they should just be honest and say they aren't interested. haha.
I don't know if you did this, but can't you just tell him "No"?
i'm really trying to avoid responding in any way whatsoever, this guy will probably misread anything i say as some kind of "interest". i've already told him point blank to stop talking to me.
Yeah, I wasn't following your thread on this in the earlier dating thread, but as you know that's all you can do, and yeah, past the initial "don't talk to me" responding just feeds it. People are weird. I guess somewhere out there some girls require badgering or give in to it, at any rate, thus setting the rest of you up for unnecessary badgerings. Also, badger.
How long do you guys normally take between talking to someone and asking to see them in person? A general guideline of 5mins, the next day, that sort of thing. Everything feels weirder over the internet.
Whenever it feels appropriate, but keep in mind that on a site where the aim is to actually meet a person that most people would not engage you in conversation past a message or two unless they would be willing to meet you.
Improvolone on
Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
Whenever it feels appropriate, but keep in mind that on a site where the aim is to actually meet a person that most people would not engage you in conversation past a message or two unless they would be willing to meet you.
It just feels weird and unnatural to invite an internet person to a real thing. I've met PAers before, but that's entirely different.
Anyway, it's done now, and we're meeting in around a week. Woo! My first internet date.
Rule of thumb: Have something or someplace to invite someone to. "Want to hang out?" is boring and stupid, "Want to go bowling?" is more awesome (details debatable).
Improvolone on
Voice actor for hire. My time is free if your project is!
Rule of thumb: Have something or someplace to invite someone to. "Want to hang out?" is boring and stupid, "Want to go bowling?" is more awesome (details debatable).
Actually, that worked out perfectly. We live not far apart (like a couple of hundred metres) and it came up in conversation that there's a wine bar right nearby that we each wanted to try but haven't yet. I suggested we try it together roughly 2 seconds before I realised that Oh shit I've just asked someone out via the internet and I've only been messaging her for like 20mins.
Rule of thumb: Have something or someplace to invite someone to. "Want to hang out?" is boring and stupid, "Want to go bowling?" is more awesome (details debatable).
Actually, that worked out perfectly. We live not far apart (like a couple of hundred metres) and it came up in conversation that there's a wine bar right nearby that we each wanted to try but haven't yet. I suggested we try it together roughly 2 seconds before I realised that Oh shit I've just asked someone out via the internet and I've only been messaging her for like 20mins.
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
So I last Tuesday I messaged the girl I went out with on Sunday.
So far, no reply. I guess she's not interested. Which sucks, because as far as dates go I thought that one went pretty well. And it's far from the first time I have a pretty good date and the girl never speaks to me again. I wish I could make sense of it.
Richy on
0
Options
SteevLWhat can I do for you?Registered Userregular
edited January 2011
I only lurk in this thread because I find the stories interesting, but yesterday someone shared this site with me and figured all of you might want to check it out in case anyone is looking to date sea captains.
I only lurk in this thread because I find the stories interesting, but yesterday someone shared this site with me and figured all of you might want to check it out in case anyone is looking to date sea captains.
Yeah, but the register page only allows you to sign up with your captain's license. If it were real you could sign up as a single person looking to date sea captains.
How long do you guys normally take between talking to someone and asking to see them in person? A general guideline of 5mins, the next day, that sort of thing. Everything feels weirder over the internet.
I try to meet up with the person about a week or so after first initiating contact.
How long do you guys normally take between talking to someone and asking to see them in person? A general guideline of 5mins, the next day, that sort of thing. Everything feels weirder over the internet.
I usually try to see if a chat over an instant messenger goes well.
Rule of thumb: Have something or someplace to invite someone to. "Want to hang out?" is boring and stupid, "Want to go bowling?" is more awesome (details debatable).
Actually, that worked out perfectly. We live not far apart (like a couple of hundred metres) and it came up in conversation that there's a wine bar right nearby that we each wanted to try but haven't yet. I suggested we try it together roughly 2 seconds before I realised that Oh shit I've just asked someone out via the internet and I've only been messaging her for like 20mins.
Beware of murderers.
That's all I got really.
At this point, I've met a bunch of people off OkC. (Four or five.)
I haven't been murdered yet.
Meet up in mutually familiar neighbourhoods and never meet someone who's giving you the crazy vibe.
Rule of thumb: Have something or someplace to invite someone to. "Want to hang out?" is boring and stupid, "Want to go bowling?" is more awesome (details debatable).
Actually, that worked out perfectly. We live not far apart (like a couple of hundred metres) and it came up in conversation that there's a wine bar right nearby that we each wanted to try but haven't yet. I suggested we try it together roughly 2 seconds before I realised that Oh shit I've just asked someone out via the internet and I've only been messaging her for like 20mins.
Beware of murderers.
That's all I got really.
At this point, I've met a bunch of people off OkC. (Four or five.)
I haven't been murdered yet.
Meet up in mutually familiar neighbourhoods and never meet someone who's giving you the crazy vibe.
Seriously, it isn't rocket science.
Are you sure you haven't been murdered? You may have been murdered and not even realized it!
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
0
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
Can't imagine there's a bunch of sea captains out there in, you know... Iowa.
Hey, buddy! We can have sea captains if we want! *grumble*
Riverboat captains at least. Grumble.
Anyway, that video on seacaptaindate.com is hilarious, but I think it's a real site. "I googled the internet" and then it shows the lady doing cartwheels while the old timey captain chases her. Cuddleebear13!
oh man, clingy guy texted me AGAIN today. for the record, i have not answered anything he's sent me since last friday night when he was being annoying as shit and i told him so.
"hey! how are you doing?? haven't heard from you in a couple of days! i really want to hang out, when can we do that again??"
................. really
This is weird because I'm feeling I'm in a similar situation. Kinda. (I don't know the whole story with clingy guy)
So i met this girl on okCupid about September. Over the course of the next three months we went out on like 4 dates and couple 30-45 minute brunch dates. Things seemed to be going very well. On the last date at my place, and things starting hot and heavy and she said, she wanted to wait, I was such a nice guy she didn't want to rush into sex like she did with all the other guys. I was like okay, cool, as long as we're progressing. She also told me she was gonna be busy for the next two weeks so it wouldn't be until like mid janurary until we could hang out again. This was before Christmas.
I've sent like one or two texts a week since New years, asking what's up, to no reply. I guess she's over me? I'm only confused because I wasn't getting any signs she wasn't interested beforehand. She was like "you're so good to me" and "you are like the sweetest guy I've ever dated"
Is it common for girls just like stop anwsering calls? I mean I'd accept just a simple "I'm not interested anymore" text. But leaving me in the dark is lame. I could already be over her by now.
Sounds like you were too sweet for her to find you sexually desirable.
I would just like to vent here how much I really hate this:
I see that I have a message.
"Oh, yay, a message!" I say to myself hoping to meet an interesting I guy.
I click on said message.
It opens.
It reads, "Hey how r u"
Balls.
The end.
As a 24 year-old virgin this was a place I've been numerous times!
Don't worry, I was a virgin until about a year ago, and I'm 24 myself. Despite what TV/movies may portray, not everyone loses their virginity in their teens.
As for the too sweet thing, remember that you can still be nice without being a doormat.
How long do you guys normally take between talking to someone and asking to see them in person? A general guideline of 5mins, the next day, that sort of thing. Everything feels weirder over the internet.
There is no rule, and everyone is different, but generally after a few messages back and forth I'll ask for a meeting if everything is going well. This week, I got beat to the punch and the girl I was chatting with asked me out. :^:
As a 24 year-old virgin this was a place I've been numerous times!
Because you didn't have sex with her she assumes you don't like her and has since moved on.
Sounds awful, but if you'd have slept with her you may (or may not) have been thought of as another jerk, but by not sleeping with her you indicated a lack of interest. I never understood it either. I just started sleeping with people sooner. See, I think it's like a challenge. To see how much of a man you really are. Sure you're this sweet nice guy, but when the opportunity comes do you have the balls to get the ****y.
I censored that because I feel like a terrible human being just now. But I'm being incredibly serious. I think the first time I had sex was 19, and it took me until 23 to realize "wait, in reality I could have had sex lots of times, I just didn't want to as badly as I thought I did".
Which... is okay.
Edit: My wife just read this and says it's true (in a lot of cases).
Yes, women want to have sex with men who are interested in having sex. There, it sounds less creepy when written that way. If you don't seem interested in sex, they're more likely to find someone who does, rather than tell you that they're interested in sex.
But if you act chaste, you'll remain chaste. Unless you're really damn charming or good looking.
I went on five dates with a guy who was really engaging, interesting, and cute. I leaned towards him at the movie, when we ate meals and were talking, and in other ways indicated I was interested. We chatted on aim and the phone all the time. Out of all five dates I got....wait for it...a hug. I determined he just wasn't interested in being more than friends. I turned out to be completely wrong, but at that point, it just wasn't going to work (extenuating circumstances). EggyToast puts it better, I think. It isn't that girls want you to jump them on the first date or something (which is a bit what your response sounds like Mblackwell), but they do want you to indicate that you find them engaging and interesting both intellectually and sexually. If you act chaste, as EggyToast so well put, and not sexually interested along with your intellectual and emotional interest, she'll assume you just want to be friends. It's not so much about having sex, as it is about showing that you'd like to.
Posts
Yeah. That line has and always will be a bunch of bullshit. Nobody is that busy, and this is coming from a full-time funded graduate student.
That's very true; the not having time thing is usually BS. That said, those periods will happen in earnest in her life so don't resent her for it. I have worked the last ten days straight between 12-16 hours a day. It is not fun.
I don't know if you did this, but can't you just tell him "No"?
i'm really trying to avoid responding in any way whatsoever, this guy will probably misread anything i say as some kind of "interest". i've already told him point blank to stop talking to me.
Yeah, I wasn't following your thread on this in the earlier dating thread, but as you know that's all you can do, and yeah, past the initial "don't talk to me" responding just feeds it. People are weird. I guess somewhere out there some girls require badgering or give in to it, at any rate, thus setting the rest of you up for unnecessary badgerings. Also, badger.
It just feels weird and unnatural to invite an internet person to a real thing. I've met PAers before, but that's entirely different.
Anyway, it's done now, and we're meeting in around a week. Woo! My first internet date.
Actually, that worked out perfectly. We live not far apart (like a couple of hundred metres) and it came up in conversation that there's a wine bar right nearby that we each wanted to try but haven't yet. I suggested we try it together roughly 2 seconds before I realised that Oh shit I've just asked someone out via the internet and I've only been messaging her for like 20mins.
Beware of murderers.
That's all I got really.
So far, no reply. I guess she's not interested. Which sucks, because as far as dates go I thought that one went pretty well. And it's far from the first time I have a pretty good date and the girl never speaks to me again. I wish I could make sense of it.
http://seacaptaindate.com/
My Backloggery
I had the hardest time believing that site was real after watching their youtube video. It screamed parody to me, but I guess it's really real.
E: I went on a date Wednesday with a girl from okcupid. We went to a dive bar I know. It was pretty awesome!
I try to meet up with the person about a week or so after first initiating contact.
I usually try to see if a chat over an instant messenger goes well.
At this point, I've met a bunch of people off OkC. (Four or five.)
I haven't been murdered yet.
Meet up in mutually familiar neighbourhoods and never meet someone who's giving you the crazy vibe.
Seriously, it isn't rocket science.
Are you sure you haven't been murdered? You may have been murdered and not even realized it!
Hey, buddy! We can have sea captains if we want! *grumble*
Riverboat captains at least. Grumble.
Anyway, that video on seacaptaindate.com is hilarious, but I think it's a real site. "I googled the internet" and then it shows the lady doing cartwheels while the old timey captain chases her. Cuddleebear13!
Sounds like you were too sweet for her to find you sexually desirable.
I see that I have a message.
"Oh, yay, a message!" I say to myself hoping to meet an interesting I guy.
I click on said message.
It opens.
It reads, "Hey how r u"
Balls.
The end.
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
Don't worry, I was a virgin until about a year ago, and I'm 24 myself. Despite what TV/movies may portray, not everyone loses their virginity in their teens.
As for the too sweet thing, remember that you can still be nice without being a doormat.
There is no rule, and everyone is different, but generally after a few messages back and forth I'll ask for a meeting if everything is going well. This week, I got beat to the punch and the girl I was chatting with asked me out. :^:
Because you didn't have sex with her she assumes you don't like her and has since moved on.
Sounds awful, but if you'd have slept with her you may (or may not) have been thought of as another jerk, but by not sleeping with her you indicated a lack of interest. I never understood it either. I just started sleeping with people sooner. See, I think it's like a challenge. To see how much of a man you really are. Sure you're this sweet nice guy, but when the opportunity comes do you have the balls to get the ****y.
I censored that because I feel like a terrible human being just now. But I'm being incredibly serious. I think the first time I had sex was 19, and it took me until 23 to realize "wait, in reality I could have had sex lots of times, I just didn't want to as badly as I thought I did".
Which... is okay.
Edit: My wife just read this and says it's true (in a lot of cases).
But if you act chaste, you'll remain chaste. Unless you're really damn charming or good looking.
wish list
Steam wishlist
Etsy wishlist
I found the original version; is anyone interested in doing a much better touch-up in my stead? Here's the regular version for those who are:
I would really appreciate it!