Despite how unflinchingly lame and unfunny I may be on the forums, I have a very good dry voice and sarcastic humor about me in person.
Hence me wanting to be a standup.
And even though it's easily able to claim I'm lying, you gotta believe I'm not, I've had several people I've met for the first time tell me I should do stand up.
But I don't take there compliments to heart, because it's easy to make people laugh when they're uncomfortable.
Mainly, it's my love of watching a fine stand up do his work infront of an audience that makes me want to be one.
On occasion people will recommend that I become a stand-up.
They don't understand that butting into a conversation and calling someone a dick does not make for an outstanding open mic experience.
Futhermore: It is a mic. Not a mike. A mike is a person. A mic is short for a microphone. It is something you speak into. Everyone needs to get that fucking clear.
Yeah, my friends don't understand what a funny comment, and a funny act requires.
I made my friend laugh really hard at my " I wonder what it's like to throw up on a dog" comment.
It goes on, but thats the gist.
It's not really an act. It's a comment that was funny, but isn't something you could really turn into an act.
Same with my robotic arm masturbation trail of vocal thought.
It's all funny in person when you know the guy whos saying it, but to someone sitting behind me at another table, it's just some asshole being loud and gross.
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Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
It's not that I couldn't have the chops to be a stand up comedian. It is just that I have absoluetly no desire for that kind of work. In order to be great at that job, you have to genuinely give a damn and I would much rather spend my energy on something else.
Like yelling at extras not to look at the fucking camera and asking people that I am not paying a dime why can't they remember three fucking lines.
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h5 let's do this together.
Hence me wanting to be a standup.
And even though it's easily able to claim I'm lying, you gotta believe I'm not, I've had several people I've met for the first time tell me I should do stand up.
But I don't take there compliments to heart, because it's easy to make people laugh when they're uncomfortable.
Mainly, it's my love of watching a fine stand up do his work infront of an audience that makes me want to be one.
It just seems like fun.
They don't understand that butting into a conversation and calling someone a dick does not make for an outstanding open mic experience.
Futhermore: It is a mic. Not a mike. A mike is a person. A mic is short for a microphone. It is something you speak into. Everyone needs to get that fucking clear.
I made my friend laugh really hard at my " I wonder what it's like to throw up on a dog" comment.
It goes on, but thats the gist.
It's not really an act. It's a comment that was funny, but isn't something you could really turn into an act.
Same with my robotic arm masturbation trail of vocal thought.
It's all funny in person when you know the guy whos saying it, but to someone sitting behind me at another table, it's just some asshole being loud and gross.
Like yelling at extras not to look at the fucking camera and asking people that I am not paying a dime why can't they remember three fucking lines.
So I care.
It's finding the right material and an ever growing fear of bombing that keep me from trying.
Which is crippling in that business as no stand up, professional or underground, has never not bombed.
that was before i learned it would be hard work (now dream of being ???)
I think you have too many negatives in that last sentence. Are you saying that no stand up has bombed, or they all have bombed at some point?
This is my one and only ambition, and I am extremely serious about it.
that doesn't mean i wouldn't compose music for porn though
All standups have bombed sometime during there career is the point I'm trying to get across.
I'm drunk. Cut me some slack essay.
Like, fuck those people if they don't find you funny?
or
Fuck those people who laugh at your jokes? Dive further into alcoholism and depression. You wortthless sack of shit.
Cause that's just rude man.
or else
Heres one of my lifes greatest ironies;
I love public speaking, and I think I'm great, but I'm deathly afraid of doing stand up comedy.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!
Okay, big deal, right? Well not if you've been smoking about a gram a day for the last seven months.
I feel really really good. I can't believe how much money I've spent and how much time I wasted smoking over the last year.
David Cross handles hecklers so awesomely.
One night, he told a sexist joke...
Girl in the crowd: I don't believe that!
David: Haha...Hm...yeah...Actually I...I really don't believe it either...Um, you see...It's called a joke...I'll be telling a lot of them tonight.
Do you mean an 8th a day?
8th I can see, but aren't grams fucking expensive unless you live in potland with magical marijauna mountains and the majestic cannibus coast?
An eighth is 3.5 grams.
WHAT ARE MEASUREMENTS
Thinevestments is a really cool username. I was thinking about this earlier.
Yeah sorry, I was confusing that with ounces.
Sorry!
Really, you smoke an eight a day?'
I've been clean 2 weeks, and an eight lasted me and two other people about 5 days.
Also, I feel like I remember you as thepants. Goddamn.
wait.
wrong gay.
sorry
I looked at your name and thought to myself, "That sounds like something Whippy would have come up with."
I'm sorry about that.
That was awkward.
So why not relive it?
I thought Trillian was a dude for like a year, since I never looked in the cam threads.
Whoops.
The name in and of itself isn't like, girly or nothin', but people shorten it to Scarlet and that is where the vagina begins.
Nah dude, a gram a day, and it was schwag most of the time.
ewww
That and you had some french, maybe italian 1940's advertisment of some girl and mixed with we'll always have paris location confused me.
And we all know I am all about the tact.