With riots raging in Ferguson, Missouri following the shooting death by police of an unarmed African-American youth, the nation has turned its eyes toward police brutality, social injustice, and the continuing crisis of race relations throughout the U.S. Here are The Onion’s tips for being an unarmed black teen in America:
Shy away from dangerous, heavily policed areas.
Avoid swaggering or any other confident behavior that suggests you are not completely subjugated.
Be sure not to pick up any object that could be perceived by a police officer as a firearm, such as a cell phone, a food item, or nothing.
Explain in clear and logical terms that you do not enjoy being shot, and would prefer that it not happen.
Don’t let society stereotype you as a petty criminal. Remember that you can be seen as so much more, from an armed robbery suspect, to a rape suspect, to a murder suspect.
Try to see it from a police officer’s point of view: You may be unarmed, but you’re also black.
Avoid wearing clothing associated with the gang lifestyle, such as shirts and pants.
Revel in the fact that by simply existing, you exert a threatening presence over the nation’s police force.
Be as polite and straightforward as possible when police officers are kicking the shit out of you.
2 rl
poo
+11
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ChanusHarbinger of the Spicy Rooster ApocalypseThe Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered Userregular
Oh man, 2 more weeks and I'm gonna be in Seattle, f yes
I should be so hype
I have so much to do first
two weeks until Seattle becomes NERDVILLE
Yeah, it is totally not Nerdville here as it is or anything... :P
EDIT: OH! You are both talking about PAX, huh? I forgot. Time to get my rubber band gun ready. I like to walk through Freeway park often. Nerds are going to be in my way when that happens, so I get to shoot rubber bands at them! :P
there should deffo be some [chat] meeting up, this prime business is way less organized than east, wtf
*coughs discreetly*
You live out west now. You have to organize Prime from now on.
Oh man, 2 more weeks and I'm gonna be in Seattle, f yes
I should be so hype
I have so much to do first
two weeks until Seattle becomes NERDVILLE
Yeah, it is totally not Nerdville here as it is or anything... :P
EDIT: OH! You are both talking about PAX, huh? I forgot. Time to get my rubber band gun ready. I like to walk through Freeway park often. Nerds are going to be in my way when that happens, so I get to shoot rubber bands at them! :P
there should deffo be some [chat] meeting up, this prime business is way less organized than east, wtf
*coughs discreetly*
You live out west now. You have to organize Prime from now on.
no one has ever 'gone all irond will' on anyone at the fancy dinner (at least not for the years i've been organizing it). we've set a tone for what sort of experience we'd like- relative dressiness. if people can't meet this for whatever reason or wish not to, they're not uninvited. anyone from chat has always been welcome. in my experience, though, those people who may not wish to dress above casual do so anyway because they don't want to disrupt the spirit of the event. they aren't seriously pressured to.
there's literally been one instance where someone got an eye-roll (kakos). it was because he very deliberately and thumbing-his-nosedly wore something to try and get a reaction out of will or myself.
Organichu on
+3
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Deebaseron my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered Userregular
Posts
Spool's daughter is going to Hippie University, guys.
oh, no, it's not that kind of survival
it's the afternoon of trying to not go to sleep at my desk
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
that probably means it's a good album
that just means you have to lift more!
get your curl on!
twitch.tv/tehsloth
i hope so
kimbra rulz
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
i wish we had a pull up bar in the office
my coworker bought one once but the doorframe was too big
i don't know who kimbra is because i'm an old but i do know pitchfork is a silly thing
2 rl
omg
I thought this blog post was very interesting. And it links to a free PDF intro to quantum mechanics which is proving to be very good so far.
What’s Hard to Understand is Classical Mechanics, Not Quantum Mechanics
she was the girl in somebody that i used to know
this is her last single i think it is good
her debut album i think was very good all the way through
good good good
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
twitch.tv/tehsloth
You live out west now. You have to organize Prime from now on.
Credit cards payed off
Again
And we have a nice surplus after the paycheck.
Everything should be fine.
*GET $75 OFF YOUR $200 DOLLAR PURCHASE AT EXPRESS*
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
hmm
i don't not like it
but i don't like it
but i like parts of it
but i don't like parts of it
i have been challenged
Fancy dinners are fun. Dancing is fun.
man but they always have those sales like every month that's not like a special deal
also i am meh on express now tho i wore it back in the day
What he gets demoted just because he moved?
QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
I'm looking at the Morningstar page for my fund and the latest dividend income was something like .72
But it does not tell me what that number means. I assume a percent of the stock but Iunno.
man if someone is going to go all Irond Will on what people are wearing at a meatup that is not my idea of Fun
I am still transitioning over to nicer clothes.
Also I really like their shirts.
at first i didn't like it, too different
then it busted into that total kimbra pre chorus and i was like dang
then it grew on me
her first album still best tho
waifu
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
but I don't see the harm in exporting my highlights if they're all less than a minute long.
Just so that people don't have to deal with the picky twitch vod system.
Most fancy dinner places in Seattle are pretty casual-friendly
You make more money from letting rich tourists eat in shorts & t-shirts than demanding black ties.
Cents per share most likely
QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
there's literally been one instance where someone got an eye-roll (kakos). it was because he very deliberately and thumbing-his-nosedly wore something to try and get a reaction out of will or myself.
NO FUCKING CASUALS
i like p much everything about this one
their shirts have all fallen apart on me mostly
lately i am just like
uniqlo
or
j crew factory (they have hella sales)
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
it was totes fun when we did it before