Come on! Teradise Island? That shit was golden, you dickbutts!
I appreciated it, because tera patrick gives me boners, but I checked out the thread when it was already at like 5 pages and didn't wanna bringup a first page post. good show sir
we went on vacation to hawaii when we were living in the philippines which doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me now. I also get mistaken for hawaiian a fair amount.
DE?AD, you wonderful hate-filled person, you. Your observations are so dead on. I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
I lived in Hawaii for a little under a year; half in Waikiki on Oahu and the other half in Hilo on the big island. My brother was in the military and had been stationed there for a few years. For some bizarre reason he loved it there and decided he never wanted to leave. Like a demented Moses, he made it his mission to convince family and friends to move out there and after bugging me about it for a while he finally persuaded me to give it a chance. He described it as a veritable land of milk and honey with high paying jobs galore in my field, beautiful women everywhere and all that other stuff. Being naive, I believed him and thought it was going to truly be this wonderful paradise everyone always depicts it as.
I arrived in Honolulu full of Aloha spirit and a determination to embrace my new home. I felt like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air surveying my new surroundings, though I ending up being a cheap bastard and taking the bus instead of a taxi. Some 2 hours later (it probably would have been about a ten minute drive if I had taken said taxi *cough*) I arrived at my brothers. Surely an ominous sign, right after I got there a sewage pipe ruptured and all of Waikiki ended up smelling like shit as he showed me around. Oh well, no matter I thought. These things happen even in paradise.
At any rate, I soon discovered that things aren't always as they initially appear. Once off the beaten trail of tourism things turn ugly fast. Yes, it's true there are many beautiful women in Honolulu and Waikiki. They're called tourists. DE?AD's description is spot on. To put it politely, the locals are definitely aesthetically compromised. It reminds me of that episode of 'Courage the Cowardly Dog' where he ends up on an 'Island of Doctor Moreau'-type island where people are combined with inanimate objects. In this case, women combined with old couches and refrigerators. To be fair the men pretty much share the same physiology and sometimes I had a hard time telling them apart, especially since there are a lot of cross dressing men in some parts of Hawaii. I saw a good number of those at the DMV and post office. My brother explained that it was a proud tradition that harked back to when men of the warrior class would dress as women for battles, but now they were mostly just male prostitutes that'll knock you out and have angry butt sex with you before stealing your wallet and getting more crystal meth.
Despite a huge difference in the cost of living, most jobs don't pay that much more there and outside of tourism, military, plantations and shipping there is very little in the way of infrastructure or career choices. As such, in most cases it's not the best place to live and work.
And don't get me started on the Pidgin. For an entertaining wtf o_O read I recommend checking out the Pidgin Hawaiian version of the Bible. It pretty much reads something like this: "Hey cuz, dat brodah Jesus, he got da good kine message, ya. And he wear da right kine slippas."
I do have to say that Oahu's weather is excellent though. The same cannot be said for Hilo's though. That was the wettest dreariest place I had ever been. Seattle has nothing on Hilo. It would literally rain all day every day for huge stretches at a time. There was literally a half inch thick growth of slime and algae on every sidwalk and surface around where I lived. Freaky spiders made giant webs all across the sidewalks and all the black volcanic rocks jetting up everywhere made it seem like Mordor. And boy, do they hate whitey around there. Get used to hearing haole this and haole that and make sure you don't go anywhere that's too rural or you might get beaten into a coma by a group of 300 lb locals.
Eventually it all got to be more than I could stand and I returned to the good ol' mainland, glad to be able to feel things like cold again. No one could understand why I would choose to leave 'paradise', but I hope this helps shed some light on why someone might not want to live there. Forgive my for this long and rambling piece of crazy talk, but I just had to get it off my chest. Thank you.
And for some baffling reason they really, really love SPAM there. It's everywhere and they put it on everything.
Posts
Aaaaand there goes my joy for the day
I appreciated it, because tera patrick gives me boners, but I checked out the thread when it was already at like 5 pages and didn't wanna bringup a first page post. good show sir
You should stop being such a pussy to it.
Bear up
Hah
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
hahahaha yes
EDIT: fucky ou bear
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Do you exercise your right to bear arms?
Holy shit I am funny.
Robin Williams did it first.
Then I am a thief.
You certainly stole my heart.
Come here and let me give you a bearhug.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N1Hz2_gdh4&feature=related
to live there? not so much
which is coming to the pc
I love playing that shit online.
I lived in Hawaii for a little under a year; half in Waikiki on Oahu and the other half in Hilo on the big island. My brother was in the military and had been stationed there for a few years. For some bizarre reason he loved it there and decided he never wanted to leave. Like a demented Moses, he made it his mission to convince family and friends to move out there and after bugging me about it for a while he finally persuaded me to give it a chance. He described it as a veritable land of milk and honey with high paying jobs galore in my field, beautiful women everywhere and all that other stuff. Being naive, I believed him and thought it was going to truly be this wonderful paradise everyone always depicts it as.
I arrived in Honolulu full of Aloha spirit and a determination to embrace my new home. I felt like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air surveying my new surroundings, though I ending up being a cheap bastard and taking the bus instead of a taxi. Some 2 hours later (it probably would have been about a ten minute drive if I had taken said taxi *cough*) I arrived at my brothers. Surely an ominous sign, right after I got there a sewage pipe ruptured and all of Waikiki ended up smelling like shit as he showed me around. Oh well, no matter I thought. These things happen even in paradise.
At any rate, I soon discovered that things aren't always as they initially appear. Once off the beaten trail of tourism things turn ugly fast. Yes, it's true there are many beautiful women in Honolulu and Waikiki. They're called tourists. DE?AD's description is spot on. To put it politely, the locals are definitely aesthetically compromised. It reminds me of that episode of 'Courage the Cowardly Dog' where he ends up on an 'Island of Doctor Moreau'-type island where people are combined with inanimate objects. In this case, women combined with old couches and refrigerators. To be fair the men pretty much share the same physiology and sometimes I had a hard time telling them apart, especially since there are a lot of cross dressing men in some parts of Hawaii. I saw a good number of those at the DMV and post office. My brother explained that it was a proud tradition that harked back to when men of the warrior class would dress as women for battles, but now they were mostly just male prostitutes that'll knock you out and have angry butt sex with you before stealing your wallet and getting more crystal meth.
Despite a huge difference in the cost of living, most jobs don't pay that much more there and outside of tourism, military, plantations and shipping there is very little in the way of infrastructure or career choices. As such, in most cases it's not the best place to live and work.
And don't get me started on the Pidgin. For an entertaining wtf o_O read I recommend checking out the Pidgin Hawaiian version of the Bible. It pretty much reads something like this: "Hey cuz, dat brodah Jesus, he got da good kine message, ya. And he wear da right kine slippas."
I do have to say that Oahu's weather is excellent though. The same cannot be said for Hilo's though. That was the wettest dreariest place I had ever been. Seattle has nothing on Hilo. It would literally rain all day every day for huge stretches at a time. There was literally a half inch thick growth of slime and algae on every sidwalk and surface around where I lived. Freaky spiders made giant webs all across the sidewalks and all the black volcanic rocks jetting up everywhere made it seem like Mordor. And boy, do they hate whitey around there. Get used to hearing haole this and haole that and make sure you don't go anywhere that's too rural or you might get beaten into a coma by a group of 300 lb locals.
Eventually it all got to be more than I could stand and I returned to the good ol' mainland, glad to be able to feel things like cold again. No one could understand why I would choose to leave 'paradise', but I hope this helps shed some light on why someone might not want to live there. Forgive my for this long and rambling piece of crazy talk, but I just had to get it off my chest. Thank you.
And for some baffling reason they really, really love SPAM there. It's everywhere and they put it on everything.
I lasted 3 weeks.
What did I do now?
you again? I though I made my point clear
that's what you did
Hi koshian
How are you today
I'm leaving for europe tomorrow
Also, if you want the experience of living in a "paradise" that isn't getting anywhere, but don't like boats, just live in Florida for a while.