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The Virginity Fetish
Preacher
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Or how I read a story and felt like the whole world is full of fucking morons.
http://www.slate.com/id/2193353/
Seriously there are people out there who its so important for a woman to have her virginity they have to go to a doctor to get a fake hymen? You have got to be shitting me. Is there some actual valid reason for this other then insanity?
http://www.slate.com/id/2193353/
Seriously there are people out there who its so important for a woman to have her virginity they have to go to a doctor to get a fake hymen? You have got to be shitting me. Is there some actual valid reason for this other then insanity?
I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.
pleasepaypreacher.net
pleasepaypreacher.net
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It's good old-fashioned misogynism.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
And yea the whole "your husband will murder you" thing is probably incentive for some people.
Is it all just the male powerplay?
pleasepaypreacher.net
Boobs or botox, perhaps. I don't think there's any social pressure telling people that they're worth less as human beings if they don't have any tattoos. There clearly is, in some cultures, for virginity.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
You think these cultures ever left?
Yes.
This is what it boils down to. A woman is only as good as her purity in most cultures. I think the expectation of virginity is somewhat more relaxed in the United States but I can't say I would be surprised if this operation was done frequently here.
Well, it's not like we're having father-daughter proms celebrating girls' virginities.
Oh wait.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I guess I thought we moved beyond that. I'm saddened to see I was so very wrong.
pleasepaypreacher.net
I would guess that the majority if the world's population lives in a place where a woman's virginity is highly valued.
Sinner
This shit goes back to well before the Bible. In the ancient near east, women were literally considered the property of men. Girls were the property of their fathers. Then, after a husband pays the father a brideprice, usually slightly higher than the price of a slave, the girl becomes the property of her husband.
Adultery was essentially a property crime. In the Code of Hammurabi, the Bible, and the Quran, a man does not commit adultery against his wife if he sleeps around—concubines and slave sex-girls are legal in all three documents. It's only adultery if that man sleeps with another man's wife—an action analogous to "stealing" his property.
You can see the logical conclusion of this way of thinking in Deuteronomy 22:28, which gives the punishment for raping an unbetrothed virgin girl—marriage:
The idea here is "you break it, you buy it."
And this is where virginity enters the picture—it is a proof of purchase. A father would have a much harder time selling a non-virgin daughter because she is "damaged goods"; in fact this is probably why the Bible allows fathers to sell their daughters into slavery.
In addition, fathers are expected to supply the proof of their daughters virginity. The ramifications for selling a non-virgin daughter to a husband are extreme—if a husband accuses his newlywed wife of not being a virgin, her father must provide proof of her virginity in the form of a bloody cloth. If he does provide proof, the husband is fined 100 shekels for slander. But if he cannot provide proof, the girl is stoned to death on the doorstep of her father's house. (also from Deuteronomy 22)
So yes, it's "misogyny," but it's also a vestige of a socio-economic system where women are treated like property. It is not surprising that cultures that place a special value on virginity also tend to have arranged marriages.
Here's where I think the misogyny runs deeper than you note-- the question is, why is a non-virgin "damaged goods"?
pleasepaypreacher.net
Anyway...
Yes in ancient times if you produced the"bedsheet tokens" or whatever they were (ie bloody sheets) to the father and they were not, in fact, bloodied you could get a refund. Then the girl would be stoned to death.
I think this procedure is just another way for a girl to say "Oh I've never been with anyone before" and then have this to prove it. Kind of an out there thing to do but I'm sure some woman will do it to get a guys millions in divorce claiming "he was my first though!!"
I never got that, as I said first time sex is awful. Neither party is getting anything out of it. There are men who get off on that?
pleasepaypreacher.net
Surgery isn't like the worst thing about cultures who put a high price on virginity.
Is there a way off this crazy planet? I mean honestly this shit is sickening.
pleasepaypreacher.net
There are people that get off on rubbing crap on each other. So yeah I would imagine extreme penis pain is a turn on to some people. I think it's more of the male testosterone "I CONQURED HER!" mentallity. I experienced virgin sex and was disappointed thinking that masturbation just "felt better". :P
Glad it got better.
No longer has that new girl smell?
:winky:
But seriously, I bet most of it comes down to sexual insecuirity among men. Which is actually kind of cute if you ignore all the horrible violence and whatnot.
But first, let me say that I agree with everything I see typed here. It's sexist, unfair and disgusting.
What I mean is that, (and I assume this is the same on the woman side) I have a problem knowing that the girl has been with another man before. I never say anything about it, because I've done the same thing, but the thought of the woman I love being with someone else makes my stomach turn to where I almost get sick. That doesn't mean what she did is wrong, AT ALL. I would only hope that the idea of me with another woman would bother her to the same degree.
But what I'm seeing above is probably just the utmost extreme version of that.
I've only dated one virgin in my time, and I'm still with her, but there was a comfort to the idea of knowing that I was her first. It just doesn't exist with other "non virgin" women. I don't know if the reverse is true for women, if not, then that is also an unfair double standard.
^ agree.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
This is true, but as long as modern cultures clash with this one, it just makes me sad.
pleasepaypreacher.net
Some people slept around a bunch before they were born again. How else do you expect a woman with that kind of history to deliver up unto her husband that greatest gift of her unbesmirched maidenhead on their wedding night? :P
This really doesn't seem any worse than say genital piercings.
Hopefully someday our kids will be having this discussion but it will look more like, "Can you believe there's a country where women are raped?"
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
wait, are they burying her alive?
jesus christ.
But there's also the idea of being someone's "first" which is a little tamer and sort of romantic. It's the idea that in some girl's (or boy's) entire life, you were the first one that she cared about enough to open up to (no pun intended). It's especially poignant if it's a mutual thing - it's the idea of two people in love exploring a fairly delicate and, to them, probably scary thing together. So I don't think that the "virginity fetish" is always a creepy thing. Just usually.
Pretty sure he has nothing to do with it.
Uh....allah ackbar?