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Good Days, Bad Days
Aaron Lee
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hello fellas. This school year I've been doing comics for the school paper, but I'm always looking for ways to improve them. I try to use social commentary for my humor (which I've been told is a bit dry). So, here's a dump of the decent ones so far. Critiques appreciated!
Aaron Lee on
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Your inking looks pretty decent.
A few, scattered crits:
---The "shiny-hair-lines" you have on the blondes could be improved, I think. They seem really slapped on, and frequently don't even seem to follow the sweep of the hair...you've got waves where the lines follow an up-and-down vertical pattern, but the hair of the characters is actually going more diagonally, or in a horizontal pattern.
---I thought the "dark side" comment was kind of lame for the computer-lab comic, and I think it would've ended better at the "Myspace" panel. Could just be personal preference, though.
---The hands look pretty odd in a lot of places... I noticed it the most in the 1st comic, and in the 2nd-to-last panel of the 2nd-to-last comic, with Ami's mitten.
Humorous comics for school newspapers can be really hard, for obvious reasons (what's "appropriate" and what's "not")...the humor is a bit dry, but I think you've done a better job than a lot of school-approved comics I've seen, in that aspect. Maybe work on the comedic timing a bit, in places, but overall not bad.
or maybe i just didn't get the joke
Grim: I guess I came from it in the personal experience where proper preparation for a test should be done days in advance. I didn't consider the cram studiers. Using "today" probably would have made more sense. Ah well, that one already hit stands months ago so I guess I can't fix that.
Pfffft!
Mine is on Feb. 14!
I remember! And you will have to remember mine! And we will wish eachother happy birthday next month and it will be joyous!
I assume that guy is drawing something.
Yeah, he's drawing, and really it's just her lame attempt to start conversation.
I'll draw something cool.
visit my webcomic at http://www.kiolia.com/shadowfolk Science fiction, updated almost never.
Nice work.
Gafoto: In a sense, I'm sort of in agreement. Obviously the characters are just serving as a shallow pedestal to voice certain social things. Seeing that it only releases about once a month, it's hard to develop depth to the characters, and in many regards I doubt people on campus care enough to desire depth from the characters. That frustrates me at times, but I have to consider this isn't the ideal point for me to tell a nice story.
You guys have given me things to consider, and I'm grateful for the feedback. I know it's easier to stay in my comfy little world and assume everything I'm doing is great, but I'd rather poke my head out and see what I'm doing wrong.