Trying to start comicking again. Off to a slow start; this is the very beginning of an introductory sequence to Fearsome Critters (Ray's actual mythos, for the two or so of you who remember me from the BT).
Yes, the colors are the really fantastic part. Something about the way you did a few of the panels though wasn't working for me, mostly the ones where the smaller panels were floating in a larger one like the lower half of page one... but that could be because I am completely exhausted and have recently been perusing mangas...
Oh and panel... 8 I guess? Im never too clear on what exactly constitues a panel, but the one where he is plucking the button off the jacket. It reads weird. I eventually realized that the black stuff at the top of the face are his eyes deep in shadow or w/e, but it looked like hair at first which made it seem like his face was disappearing weirdly behind the action.. I dunno just looked funny, maybe if you hinted at his eyes within the darkness or just lightened it up a bit? Could just be me though
Fantastic. I dig the colors and the draftsmanship. I didn't find anything wrong with the panel layout...seems pretty consistent to me, and I do dig inset panels in the right place.
JohnTWM: It's a visual trope used in anime a lot (the dark shadowed out eyes), I think it's just a matter of visual vocabulary and taste.
I usually hate it when people don't use black bars with white gutter space, but you've done well without it here. It's easy to tell the panels apart from each other.
I'm not wild about the font, but it fits well with the style.
What is that clearly deranged madman doing with a child in an elephant suit?
I like the art, especially your selective use of 4th wall breaks. The only thing I don't particularly like is the eye differentiation on the male character. It constantly communicates psychotic to me, which while appropriate on some frames, kind of makes the whole thing feel slightly awkward.
@Heartlash:
I dunno, I thought it was kind of a sweet parallel with the guy's eye and Lamuel's new one, especially in p. 2 panel 3. And I didn't even notice the guy's eye until that panel. I think if there's any part where it seems out of place at all (and that's going back and looking specifically for out-of-place), it'd be p. 2 panel 5. I quite liked it myself.
Fantastic. I dig the colors and the draftsmanship. I didn't find anything wrong with the panel layout...seems pretty consistent to me, and I do dig inset panels in the right place.
JohnTWM: It's a visual trope used in anime a lot (the dark shadowed out eyes), I think it's just a matter of visual vocabulary and taste.
No, I know that, I am familiar with the technique, which is how I figured out what it was in the end, but it really wasn't reading well last night when I wrote that. Just something about it doesn't quite work, but it isn't a huge deal.
@JohnTWM - I pretty much agree about the eyes in that panel. They ended up how they are now because they were initially defined, but as low-contrast, pupilless orbs because I was really failing at bringing forward the whole button action, there, and they just looked distractingly creepy. So I blacked them out. Now they're distractingly dark and weighty. That whole panel bugs me, still, but I eventually chose to move forward rather than noodle around with it.
@Heartlash - Ray (the dude) is sort of an off-kilter and slightly unstable character, so I've always drawn him in some state of eye mismatch. It is possibly too exaggerated here, for the action at hand, though, yeah. I was perhaps overcompensating for the fact that these pages will probably be the first time most people are seeing the character and without them he just reads as really nice to his sister. And yes, the parallel with Lamuel's eyes is intentional.
@Tam - It's actually a Manic Street Preachers lyric. I'm such a disappointment!
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I really like the colors too.
Oh and panel... 8 I guess? Im never too clear on what exactly constitues a panel, but the one where he is plucking the button off the jacket. It reads weird. I eventually realized that the black stuff at the top of the face are his eyes deep in shadow or w/e, but it looked like hair at first which made it seem like his face was disappearing weirdly behind the action.. I dunno just looked funny, maybe if you hinted at his eyes within the darkness or just lightened it up a bit? Could just be me though
JohnTWM: It's a visual trope used in anime a lot (the dark shadowed out eyes), I think it's just a matter of visual vocabulary and taste.
I usually hate it when people don't use black bars with white gutter space, but you've done well without it here. It's easy to tell the panels apart from each other.
I'm not wild about the font, but it fits well with the style.
I like the art, especially your selective use of 4th wall breaks. The only thing I don't particularly like is the eye differentiation on the male character. It constantly communicates psychotic to me, which while appropriate on some frames, kind of makes the whole thing feel slightly awkward.
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I dunno, I thought it was kind of a sweet parallel with the guy's eye and Lamuel's new one, especially in p. 2 panel 3. And I didn't even notice the guy's eye until that panel. I think if there's any part where it seems out of place at all (and that's going back and looking specifically for out-of-place), it'd be p. 2 panel 5. I quite liked it myself.
I can believe you brought some rad pages with you however.
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Squidbunny's back! Hi Squidbunny! I like your new arts. You really ought to try and publish everything you do.
Is that a Floyd lyric in the first panel?
No, I know that, I am familiar with the technique, which is how I figured out what it was in the end, but it really wasn't reading well last night when I wrote that. Just something about it doesn't quite work, but it isn't a huge deal.
The fourth (I think) panel in the first strip reminds me a BIT too much of Invader Zim, but everything else is ace.
@JohnTWM - I pretty much agree about the eyes in that panel. They ended up how they are now because they were initially defined, but as low-contrast, pupilless orbs because I was really failing at bringing forward the whole button action, there, and they just looked distractingly creepy. So I blacked them out. Now they're distractingly dark and weighty. That whole panel bugs me, still, but I eventually chose to move forward rather than noodle around with it.
@Heartlash - Ray (the dude) is sort of an off-kilter and slightly unstable character, so I've always drawn him in some state of eye mismatch. It is possibly too exaggerated here, for the action at hand, though, yeah. I was perhaps overcompensating for the fact that these pages will probably be the first time most people are seeing the character and without them he just reads as really nice to his sister. And yes, the parallel with Lamuel's eyes is intentional.
@Tam - It's actually a Manic Street Preachers lyric. I'm such a disappointment!