Most girls I've talked to are reluctant to meet that soon, and I've been thinking that's been a reason I've hitting so many snags. Perhaps they were never really all that interested and just didn't want to be the one to end it.
And Slider's post in the middle of this is kinda funny.
You make that face as if you've never read one of Slider's posts before.
t Cervetus: "Because when someone hands you a puppy, you damn well take a picture with it." hahah. :^: Generally sounds good. I like the variety of pictures, and the puppy as main is a good hook. Self-summary is a little sparse... too work-focused, I guess. One other possible area for improvement, which comes up a lot in this thread, is maybe think along SEO lines when you talk about the things you're into. It's good to say you like British comedies or 70s rock but then dropping a few more names that might get you hits from random searches could help too.
Had a big overreaction to a really great girl I've been seeing from OKC. We've only been seeing each other for 3weeks and she messaged me, saying she needs to be by herself for a while because her dad's got cancer. I immediately assumed it was BS and sent a pretty harsh message, telling her she needs to grow up and not come up with really horrible excuses for breaking it off. I also made some comment about how she would feel if her dad actually was sick.
yeah, turns out she was being serious and just didn't want to drag me down with what she calls, 'her bullshit' and thought it would be best to cut off contact and let it die. Needless to say, I felt like a jerk but I honestly really like this girl so I'm going to go with her to see her old man on Thursday.
So I need some opinions. This girl I've been messaging with for the last weekish (and wrote some Suess-esque stuff for because we got on the topic of how awesome he is) are getting together on Thursday.
The kicker is it's her birthday, and she's basically said it's just another day, ignore it blah blah blah. However I kind of want to go get a copy of Dr. Seuss' "Happy Birthday To You." I'm thinking I leave it in my car and feel things out before potentially giving it to her at the end of the date, but I'm looking for opinions as if it's a good idea or not.
Personally I think it's a great idea, it's not an expensive gift, so you don't look too keen, or like you're making a big deal out of her birthday but it's still pretty thoughtful.
Had a big overreaction to a really great girl I've been seeing from OKC. We've only been seeing each other for 3weeks and she messaged me, saying she needs to be by herself for a while because her dad's got cancer. I immediately assumed it was BS and sent a pretty harsh message, telling her she needs to grow up and not come up with really horrible excuses for breaking it off. I also made some comment about how she would feel if her dad actually was sick.
yeah, turns out she was being serious and just didn't want to drag me down with what she calls, 'her bullshit' and thought it would be best to cut off contact and let it die. Needless to say, I felt like a jerk but I honestly really like this girl so I'm going to go with her to see her old man on Thursday.
Well you're going with her. That's a good thing. Hopefully they caught it earlier/it's not terminal and you can all laugh over this a few months from now.
I guess I should cast my profile into the acid bath of anonymous critique so that its tarnished coating can be dissolved away. I was hoping my friend could finish a once-over of it beforehand, but it's getting hard to get in touch with her and I want to start messaging beautiful ladies with my amazingly flawless profile already.
Also I know it doesn't mean much considering how much random clicking on profiles I've done, but it's still a nice ego boost to see the people who have looked at my profile (and not sent a message but whatever).
Looks good to me, man. Your self summary is a little more "this is my job" than an actual self summary, but I don't think you need to change much. Feel free to toy with it as you see fit.
I guess I should cast my profile into the acid bath of anonymous critique so that its tarnished coating can be dissolved away. I was hoping my friend could finish a once-over of it beforehand, but it's getting hard to get in touch with her and I want to start messaging beautiful ladies with my amazingly flawless profile already.
Also I know it doesn't mean much considering how much random clicking on profiles I've done, but it's still a nice ego boost to see the people who have looked at my profile (and not sent a message but whatever).
Looks good to me, man. Your self summary is a little more "this is my job" than an actual self summary, but I don't think you need to change much. Feel free to toy with it as you see fit.
It's good. One quibble: I've heard from a few women that mentioning an interest in creative writing (specifically screenplays, heh) without any actual pieces is a turn off. Apparently, every vaguely artistic dude dreams of writing the next great movie or novel even if they've never written anything worth reading. I'd focus on your awesome environmental work (and puppies!) instead.
Okay, I asked her to meet. Even I cannot ignore how ridiculous it is when our messages are hitting the 2500 word mark. That is clearly a job for...talking.
Had a big overreaction to a really great girl I've been seeing from OKC. We've only been seeing each other for 3weeks and she messaged me, saying she needs to be by herself for a while because her dad's got cancer. I immediately assumed it was BS and sent a pretty harsh message, telling her she needs to grow up and not come up with really horrible excuses for breaking it off. I also made some comment about how she would feel if her dad actually was sick.
yeah, turns out she was being serious and just didn't want to drag me down with what she calls, 'her bullshit' and thought it would be best to cut off contact and let it die. Needless to say, I felt like a jerk but I honestly really like this girl so I'm going to go with her to see her old man on Thursday.
Well you're going with her. That's a good thing. Hopefully they caught it earlier/it's not terminal and you can all laugh over this a few months from now.
Yeah, turned out to be pretty bad he's got a cerebral metastasis from advanced lung cancer. It's really not lookig good for him. I think they're moving him to a hospice next week.
It's bloody terrible for the family and all I can really do is just be there and make sympathetic noises
Is it a good sign that we're sending nearly 2,000 word messages to each other?
It hasn't even been a week.
I wouldn't worry about good signs until you've been seeing each other for a while. People are extremely particular when it comes to dating and you may get dumped for some imaginary reason. Treat them like job interviews, the more dispassionate and level headed you are about them, the better you're able to perform and get over it when they don't call back
and I'm off for a 4th and 5th date with a guy I met from a friend of a friend. online thing has only been for not getting messages back. It's useless as long as I'm not in the city.
Welp. The girl I was exchanges a few messages for a bit and hadn't heard from for a few days just updated her profile to say she's not responding to any messages right now.
Least, I don't have to wonder what happened there.
My online dating spree has seemed to've halted entirely.
The girl who asked me out to coffee has stopped responding to me entirely once I asked for her number (to, you know, arrange this thing) -- but she's been online every day since then.
I used my lunch break last night to meet up with a girl I had been talking to for quite a bit, but I just wasn't attracted to her at all.
I recently got two messages, one a 'Hey, what's up?', and another that was just a wink. I sent responses to both of them, and got nothing in return.
And the one person who waited a month and a half is a young lawyer, so there's probably no chance in getting something going with her soon. Oh well.
You can treat it like a message that says "I think you're cute/interesting, but can't think of anything to say or am kind of busy."
I mean if you were in a public space, single and open to dating, and a cute girl winked at you directly, you'd think "what is that? should I talk to her?" It's still not clear but it breaks the ice.
Welp. The girl I was exchanges a few messages for a bit and hadn't heard from for a few days just updated her profile to say she's not responding to any messages right now.
Least, I don't have to wonder what happened there.
That sucks, but also considerate of her. Though a personal message might have been nice. (Unless she was exchanging messages with twenty dudes, I guess that would just be too much considerate-ness...)
Do people actually wink in real life? I mean other than for comedic effect? That would just be bizarre, I think, if someone winked at me IRL.
My first girlfriend winked at me from across the room once. I was all WTF, but she was already my girlfriend so I didn't take it as some indicator as interest as much as a "HOW YOU DOIN'" that I appreciated greatly.
I've seen 3 different girls now through Okcupid in the past few weeks. I'm trying to normalize the activity. So, ever date won't be an epic event in my life's history, which is unfortunately what it's been until now.
Heh, I often feel like I need to do that sometime, just because I never have. But then I'm like, what a waste of time I could be playing video games or sleeping.
Hey guys, thanks for the help on the profile. It's nice to know I could get mostly there on my own, and I acted on all the advice.
Now I just need to actually, like, message people. I'm looking at this one girl and it's like someone asked me to write an imaginary profile for my ideal girl. I had set a goal of sending a message today so I could actually get this online dating thing off the ground, but now I'm all nervous and don't want to blow it on the "hello."
Hey guys, thanks for the help on the profile. It's nice to know I could get mostly there on my own, and I acted on all the advice.
Now I just need to actually, like, message people. I'm looking at this one girl and it's like someone asked me to write an imaginary profile for my ideal girl. I had set a goal of sending a message today so I could actually get this online dating thing off the ground, but now I'm all nervous and don't want to blow it on the "hello."
My best luck has been by making an obscure reference in the message title to something in her profile (something most people wouldn't know about a topic she expressed interest in, but she'll know, think a line from their favorite TV show or book), then fleshing that out a bit and asking a few questions. I generally don't add much about myself that isn't relevant to her stuff, if she takes long enough to read your message she'll probably check out your profile and reply in kind.
On a positive note, my first date birthday gift of Dr. Suess' turned out to be an AWESOME idea. It was icing on an amazing first date. She's 3 years older than me and pretty short (I'm 6'2, she's 5'), but we had some amazing conversation and she can actually talk on intelligent subjects, philosophy and the like, which is spectacular.
With that said what I'm finding right now is just to get out there as much as you can. Every experience gives you more knowledge and more confidence in what works for you. This kind of compound effect has been amazing for me to see.
So, I'm on Match, and it has a 'daily 5' that's similar to OKC's Quickmatch (ie, here are some people, are you interested?).
Early in March, I get a little note saying this girl was interested. Huzzah, she seems interesting too, so I send her a message. She reads it, doesn't respond. Oh well, that's internet dating.
So uh anyone else here in south florida? I tried to ask earlier but it got skimmed over... we could be allies though!
I'm on OkC and everything, but it's not real important whether I meet these mythical females or not - I just want to make friends. Like, I've only been with a few girls for anything longer than a month, they tend to lose interest within a few weeks. So I've decided that A: I desire more breadth of experience in dating and B: do not need constant female company to feel generally all right and fulfilled. Also, my last relationship slowly imploded soon after six months spent writing letters to/from afghanistan, ending with my letters destroyed. I guess... that hurt. I invest a lot of time now thinking, not "do I like her?", or "does she like me?", but "Is this person physically/emotionally/mentally ready for an adult relationship, and can she take responsibility for her own actions while being considerate of others (such as myself)?" I'm not completely sure I even meet the first part about being ready, so...
So I'm allowing myself to be more casual in my interactions with everyone and I feel far less emotionally threatened. Not that I'm closed off at all, but there's far less gravity in each girlcapade. Has anyone else reached this point? What I'm really seeking, if anything, is to hang around with other people who may at least be able to appreciate this perspective. *explodes*
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
Posts
And Slider's post in the middle of this is kinda funny.
that's impossible.
unless the rest of her is too big.
o_O
t Cervetus: "Because when someone hands you a puppy, you damn well take a picture with it." hahah. :^: Generally sounds good. I like the variety of pictures, and the puppy as main is a good hook.
yeah, turns out she was being serious and just didn't want to drag me down with what she calls, 'her bullshit' and thought it would be best to cut off contact and let it die. Needless to say, I felt like a jerk but I honestly really like this girl so I'm going to go with her to see her old man on Thursday.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Guy in Berkeley used internet dating to find amputee women to bang.
One had a glass eye.
When she left, he grabbed the nearest glass of water and took a large gulp, forgot about the eye. Swallowed it, choked to death.
1000 Ways to Die is a trippy show, man.
Personally I think it's a great idea, it's not an expensive gift, so you don't look too keen, or like you're making a big deal out of her birthday but it's still pretty thoughtful.
PSN: SirGrinchX
Oculus Rift: Sir_Grinch
Well you're going with her. That's a good thing. Hopefully they caught it earlier/it's not terminal and you can all laugh over this a few months from now.
Looks good to me, man. Your self summary is a little more "this is my job" than an actual self summary, but I don't think you need to change much. Feel free to toy with it as you see fit.
It's good. One quibble: I've heard from a few women that mentioning an interest in creative writing (specifically screenplays, heh) without any actual pieces is a turn off. Apparently, every vaguely artistic dude dreams of writing the next great movie or novel even if they've never written anything worth reading. I'd focus on your awesome environmental work (and puppies!) instead.
*sigh* She lives 2000 miles away.
I mean sure, Geography and I have always had our differences, but I didn't think it'd get personal.
Oh, I've also been writing to a really cool girl who is a video game artist. She's extremely talented.
Yeah, turned out to be pretty bad he's got a cerebral metastasis from advanced lung cancer. It's really not lookig good for him. I think they're moving him to a hospice next week.
It's bloody terrible for the family and all I can really do is just be there and make sympathetic noises
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I wouldn't worry about good signs until you've been seeing each other for a while. People are extremely particular when it comes to dating and you may get dumped for some imaginary reason. Treat them like job interviews, the more dispassionate and level headed you are about them, the better you're able to perform and get over it when they don't call back
and I'm off for a 4th and 5th date with a guy I met from a friend of a friend. online thing has only been for not getting messages back. It's useless as long as I'm not in the city.
Least, I don't have to wonder what happened there.
The girl who asked me out to coffee has stopped responding to me entirely once I asked for her number (to, you know, arrange this thing) -- but she's been online every day since then.
I used my lunch break last night to meet up with a girl I had been talking to for quite a bit, but I just wasn't attracted to her at all.
I recently got two messages, one a 'Hey, what's up?', and another that was just a wink. I sent responses to both of them, and got nothing in return.
And the one person who waited a month and a half is a young lawyer, so there's probably no chance in getting something going with her soon. Oh well.
My dating life is pretty stagnant, it would seem.
I mean if you were in a public space, single and open to dating, and a cute girl winked at you directly, you'd think "what is that? should I talk to her?" It's still not clear but it breaks the ice.
That sucks, but also considerate of her. Though a personal message might have been nice. (Unless she was exchanging messages with twenty dudes, I guess that would just be too much considerate-ness...)
Do people actually wink in real life? I mean other than for comedic effect? That would just be bizarre, I think, if someone winked at me IRL.
the only times I've winked were to indicate self-awareness after doing something silly
They are basically a "please message me, I would like to talk to you" thing.
Now I just need to actually, like, message people. I'm looking at this one girl and it's like someone asked me to write an imaginary profile for my ideal girl. I had set a goal of sending a message today so I could actually get this online dating thing off the ground, but now I'm all nervous and don't want to blow it on the "hello."
My best luck has been by making an obscure reference in the message title to something in her profile (something most people wouldn't know about a topic she expressed interest in, but she'll know, think a line from their favorite TV show or book), then fleshing that out a bit and asking a few questions. I generally don't add much about myself that isn't relevant to her stuff, if she takes long enough to read your message she'll probably check out your profile and reply in kind.
On a positive note, my first date birthday gift of Dr. Suess' turned out to be an AWESOME idea. It was icing on an amazing first date. She's 3 years older than me and pretty short (I'm 6'2, she's 5'), but we had some amazing conversation and she can actually talk on intelligent subjects, philosophy and the like, which is spectacular.
With that said what I'm finding right now is just to get out there as much as you can. Every experience gives you more knowledge and more confidence in what works for you. This kind of compound effect has been amazing for me to see.
*shakes fist*
So, I'm on Match, and it has a 'daily 5' that's similar to OKC's Quickmatch (ie, here are some people, are you interested?).
Early in March, I get a little note saying this girl was interested. Huzzah, she seems interesting too, so I send her a message. She reads it, doesn't respond. Oh well, that's internet dating.
Then yesterday she sends me a wink.
Am I weird, or is that confusing?
But that's kinda why we're here in the first place...
I'm on OkC and everything, but it's not real important whether I meet these mythical females or not - I just want to make friends. Like, I've only been with a few girls for anything longer than a month, they tend to lose interest within a few weeks. So I've decided that A: I desire more breadth of experience in dating and B: do not need constant female company to feel generally all right and fulfilled. Also, my last relationship slowly imploded soon after six months spent writing letters to/from afghanistan, ending with my letters destroyed. I guess... that hurt. I invest a lot of time now thinking, not "do I like her?", or "does she like me?", but "Is this person physically/emotionally/mentally ready for an adult relationship, and can she take responsibility for her own actions while being considerate of others (such as myself)?" I'm not completely sure I even meet the first part about being ready, so...
So I'm allowing myself to be more casual in my interactions with everyone and I feel far less emotionally threatened. Not that I'm closed off at all, but there's far less gravity in each girlcapade. Has anyone else reached this point? What I'm really seeking, if anything, is to hang around with other people who may at least be able to appreciate this perspective. *explodes*