Or it makes it look like you don't want to be recognized for some reason. Like maybe you aren't actually single.
This is what I'm getting at. It raises the following questions and potentially more.
* Is this person ashamed of their appearance?
* Are they in worse shape than they claim to be?
* Are they trying to conceal their activities from a significant other who would not be cool with them.
* And, do they not understand that physical attraction is a huge part of dating?
In all respects, if you're going to do internet dating, I think you have to go with the "here I am, I'm awesome" mentality and present your whole self.
It's funny, because I usually hate self-promotion. But I do watch How I Met Your Mother. Many sticking points answered by simply asking WWBSD.
Or it makes it look like you don't want to be recognized for some reason. Like maybe you aren't actually single.
This is what I'm getting at. It raises the following questions and potentially more.
* Is this person ashamed of their appearance?
* Are they in worse shape than they claim to be?
* Are they trying to conceal their activities from a significant other who would not be cool with them.
* And, do they not understand that physical attraction is a huge part of dating?
In all respects, if you're going to do internet dating, I think you have to go with the "here I am, I'm awesome" mentality and present your whole self.
It's funny, because I usually hate self-promotion. But I do watch How I Met Your Mother. Many sticking points answered by simply asking WWBSD.
To fit with the "theme", just go with WWBD. :P
[Edit]
Anyone who gets confused and wonders what Barney Rubble would do is worth that clarification conversation anyway, on sheer humour-value alone!
Arg. Second time in a row where I message a girl, she responds with a great message and finishes by asking me what I have planned for the weekend, I send her back a message and then don't hear from her.
Or it makes it look like you don't want to be recognized for some reason. Like maybe you aren't actually single.
This is what I'm getting at. It raises the following questions and potentially more.
* Is this person ashamed of their appearance?
* Are they in worse shape than they claim to be?
* Are they trying to conceal their activities from a significant other who would not be cool with them.
* And, do they not understand that physical attraction is a huge part of dating?
In all respects, if you're going to do internet dating, I think you have to go with the "here I am, I'm awesome" mentality and present your whole self.
It's funny, because I usually hate self-promotion. But I do watch How I Met Your Mother. Many sticking points answered by simply asking WWBSD.
To fit with the "theme", just go with WWBD. :P
[Edit] Anyone who gets confused and wonders what Barney Rubble would do is worth that clarification conversation anyway, on sheer humour-value alone!
Or it makes it look like you don't want to be recognized for some reason. Like maybe you aren't actually single.
This is what I'm getting at. It raises the following questions and potentially more.
* Is this person ashamed of their appearance?
* Are they in worse shape than they claim to be?
* Are they trying to conceal their activities from a significant other who would not be cool with them.
* And, do they not understand that physical attraction is a huge part of dating?
In all respects, if you're going to do internet dating, I think you have to go with the "here I am, I'm awesome" mentality and present your whole self.
It's funny, because I usually hate self-promotion. But I do watch How I Met Your Mother. Many sticking points answered by simply asking WWBSD.
Self promotion is not my favourite thing either, but in this venue, I've had to get over it. Gotta communicate the message that you like yourself.
Also, one of the three ladies I was talking to sent me a message saying she's met someone she's going to pursue things with and deactivating her profile. I hadn't even met her yet, but it was cool that she closed off the conversation in a classy manner.
Yeah I think you've got it right. The worst that happens is someone who wasn't going to reply anyway thinks you're creepy. But if you weren't creepy about it then even that shouldn't be the case. And you never know when things will just disappear into the internets never to be heard from again.
I think that has to be your approach. I've written several random poems to girls never to be heard from again. I just take it as having been 'absorbed by the internet.' The one Suess ballad I wrote hit a major tone with a girll, and we're getting together next Thursday. As much as I might invest in a piece I have to concede that people will hate it wtih a passion.
Yeah, like fat girls who don't have a body shot. Deception is not attractive.
Heh, this frustrates me, because on one hand I would never want to deal with that, I don't know WHAT people are thinking when they put up only misleading photos. "I'll get him/her on the hook and then it will be too late!" But who would want to deal with an awkward first date when you show up and one or both of you is not at all what was expected?
At the same time, I don't exactly go around having full-length photos taken of me often. Ever. And there are few things less flattering (and arguably less realistic) than in-the-bathroom-mirror full self-portraits.
Yeah, but cameras are in everything nowadays, a lack of at least a picture of you from the waste up is odd, and if you have 5 pictures up, all from the neck up, or with 'the angles,' I'm probably not gonna message you.
Well at least OKCupid has the details tab on the side. Now if there's angle shots/no body shots and that particular detail is blank I wouldn't message not because of not being attracted to plus sized, but because there's clearly some image problems there.
Yeah, like fat girls who don't have a body shot. Deception is not attractive.
Heh, this frustrates me, because on one hand I would never want to deal with that, I don't know WHAT people are thinking when they put up only misleading photos. "I'll get him/her on the hook and then it will be too late!" But who would want to deal with an awkward first date when you show up and one or both of you is not at all what was expected?
At the same time, I don't exactly go around having full-length photos taken of me often. Ever. And there are few things less flattering (and arguably less realistic) than in-the-bathroom-mirror full self-portraits.
It's not too hard to just ask a friend to take a picture of you.
Corvus on
:so_raven:
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OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
So many women in my area have those deceptive shots. Zug zug.
It's not too hard to just ask a friend to take a picture of you.
TECHNICALLY for me it is because I live in a different city from any of my RL friends. That's not an excuse for everyone, of course.
With a bit of care and either a tripod or someplace to rest it (indoors, bookshelves work great), you can probably manage a decent picture from any digital camera with a timer. There's going to be a fair amount of trial and error involved in it though, but that's what digital cameras are for.
Yeah, like fat girls who don't have a body shot. Deception is not attractive.
Heh, this frustrates me, because on one hand I would never want to deal with that, I don't know WHAT people are thinking when they put up only misleading photos. "I'll get him/her on the hook and then it will be too late!" But who would want to deal with an awkward first date when you show up and one or both of you is not at all what was expected?
Had that happen to me. She was cute... had a great head shot, upper body shot... said she was "curvy". I guess that's true if the curve is a ninety-degree angle at the waist all the way around and then rounds out five inches from the waist. I could have set a seven course meal on the "bubble butt" that stuck out from her waist. Ugh. So not attractive and so pissed off that she would lie about that.
SkyCaptain on
The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
I am pretty sure that everyone ends up going on one of those dates at some point that does internet dating.
I remember back in the day going out with a girl I met online who ended up being no where near what she described. I am not a small guy, and I understand that, but when a girl is 5" shorter and 100lbs heavier than me... I'm sorry, this isn't what I signed up for.
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
Yeah, happened to me in quite a few dates. It's gotten to the point that I've developed a suspicion of girls who do not have full-body shots in their profiles.
Richy on
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TimmyRank: MajorFloating in my tin can.Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
I went on a date not too long ago where they had plenty of pictures and full-body shots on their profile but it was not the same person that I ended up meeting. The girl I met up with, and the girl that was on the profile, were both pretty but didn't look even a little bit similar. I asked her about it and she admitted that it was her sister in all of the photos! It was really weird and I just have no idea why anyone would do that.
I went on a date not too long ago where they had plenty of pictures and full-body shots on their profile but it was not the same person that I ended up meeting. The girl I met up with, and the girl that was on the profile, were both pretty but didn't look even a little bit similar. I asked her about it and she admitted that it was her sister in all of the photos! It was really weird and I just have no idea why anyone would do that.
Alright, that's just odd.
How was she as a person? I mean, any other unusual quirks you discovered on the date? Was there a second date after that?
It would be hard for me to ask for someone to take a picture since they would ask why? but then I really don't talk to many people.
Most of the messages I get are wow you are tall or something along those lines so I had to remove the picture that showed how tall I was to a certain mail box
I've been talking to this girl for over a month and yesterday we were talking about jobs. I felt she was, basically, saying that because she is getting called by employers and I am not, that she is somehow better than me. She asked if she could work on my resume, because her resume is obviously better than mine.
This made me re-evaluate our relationship and it's apparent that my feelings for her have lessened. I shared this with her last night and despite her insistence that she did not mean to sound like she was better than me, I cannot seem to shake this negative feeling.
I'm not sure if my feelings for her will return. I'm hoping they do.
Every internet date save for one girl I met in Texas was overweight and looked nothing like the photo. Toronto, even though there's been some dry spells, has come through me time and time again. They either look like the photo or better.
This is probably because Texas is one of the fattest states in North America, and women are notoriously picky down there because a lot of the guys in the lone star are juicin'.
Godfather on
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Casually HardcoreOnce an Asshole. Trying to be better.Registered Userregular
I've been talking to this girl for over a month and yesterday we were talking about jobs. I felt she was, basically, saying that because she is getting called by employers and I am not, that she is somehow better than me. She asked if she could work on my resume, because her resume is obviously better than mine.
This made me re-evaluate our relationship and it's apparent that my feelings for her have lessened. I shared this with her last night and despite her insistence that she did not mean to sound like she was better than me, I cannot seem to shake this negative feeling.
I'm not sure if my feelings for her will return. I'm hoping they do.
If you're talking about a technical position like Engineering or whatever, it's pretty simple why this is happening.
First, the employer will look at all the students with 4.0's GPA and resumes so exceptional that it's justifiable for the resume to be more then 1 page long.
Then they'll look at all the women who applied.
Then they'll start looking at average Joe's with experience.
Lastly they'll look at average Joe without any experience.
So basically, average guys who done average in class are basically looked at and called last.
It would be hard for me to ask for someone to take a picture since they would ask why? but then I really don't talk to many people.
If you're just looking to get a couple general body shots and not get all crazy with it, maybe go hit something in your area that tourists check out? Nobody will think anything of it if you ask them to take your picture there, they'll just think you're a solo tourist.
It would be hard for me to ask for someone to take a picture since they would ask why? but then I really don't talk to many people.
If you're just looking to get a couple general body shots and not get all crazy with it, maybe go hit something in your area that tourists check out? Nobody will think anything of it if you ask them to take your picture there, they'll just think you're a solo tourist.
Bam, problem solved, this is one of those "so obvious I can't believe I didn't think of it" things.
It would be hard for me to ask for someone to take a picture since they would ask why? but then I really don't talk to many people.
If you're just looking to get a couple general body shots and not get all crazy with it, maybe go hit something in your area that tourists check out? Nobody will think anything of it if you ask them to take your picture there, they'll just think you're a solo tourist.
And then it would look like you actually go out and do stuff rather than being a shut in!
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
So we get stiff once in a while. So we have a little fun. What’s wrong with that? This is a free country, isn’t it? I can take my panda any place I want to. And if I wanna buy it a drink, that’s my business.
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TimmyRank: MajorFloating in my tin can.Registered Userregular
I went on a date not too long ago where they had plenty of pictures and full-body shots on their profile but it was not the same person that I ended up meeting. The girl I met up with, and the girl that was on the profile, were both pretty but didn't look even a little bit similar. I asked her about it and she admitted that it was her sister in all of the photos! It was really weird and I just have no idea why anyone would do that.
Alright, that's just odd.
How was she as a person? I mean, any other unusual quirks you discovered on the date? Was there a second date after that?
She seemed like a really kind person but she agreed with pretty much anything that I said in a way that seemed like it wouldn't matter what I said and she'd still agree. She was also on edge throughout the date; her eyes were darting around all over the place. I did not try for a second date.
You should be able to easily take a picture of yourself given that most modern cameras have timers. As long as you can set it down at the right angle you should be fine.
Taranis on
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surrealitychecklonely, but not unloveddreaming of faulty keys and latchesRegistered Userregular
edited March 2011
I've always thought it would be funny to put up 3 photos:
best angle
normal angle
WORST PHOTO EVER
So prospective dates can triangulate your hotness
surrealitycheck on
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darklite_xI'm not an r-tard...Registered Userregular
edited March 2011
What's this quickmatch business? I just got an e-mail saying someone rated me 4 or 5 and if I can pick out who it was in a line-up they'll send a message to both of us that's pretty much "Congratulations you totally might like each other!" My question here would have to be, WHY DID THEY TURN THIS INTO A GAME? Shit I feel like I'm competing now.
darklite_x on
Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
I decided to give online dating a shot, as my current pool of women to choose from consists of girls that my close friends are in love with, making them off limits. Anyway, I made an account on OKC. Anyone want to give me some tips? Would YOU date me? Do I come across as an asshole?
"A little bit extra" should be removed entirely. You're about as fat as I am, and 60 pounds is not a little bit extra.
In unrelated news, I'm glad I sent that extra message, as things are going fantastically with this girl.
Nice! I'm convinced that fortune favors the bold (and polite). My gf told me, after we started dating, that it was my impulsive late-night IM that worked. It showed active interest, and providing a firm time/date made her life a lot easier (or in her words, "I'm sick of having to ask myself out").
Also, we're now officially bf/gf, which is pretty cool :winky:
Posts
It's funny, because I usually hate self-promotion. But I do watch How I Met Your Mother. Many sticking points answered by simply asking WWBSD.
To fit with the "theme", just go with WWBD. :P
[Edit]
Anyone who gets confused and wonders what Barney Rubble would do is worth that clarification conversation anyway, on sheer humour-value alone!
Guess it's some progress.
DUH. STEAL FRED'S PEBBLES.
Self promotion is not my favourite thing either, but in this venue, I've had to get over it. Gotta communicate the message that you like yourself.
Also, one of the three ladies I was talking to sent me a message saying she's met someone she's going to pursue things with and deactivating her profile. I hadn't even met her yet, but it was cool that she closed off the conversation in a classy manner.
Dear milehigh,
You had me at 'Suess ballad'.
Yours in awesomeness,
Sarcastro.
Heh, this frustrates me, because on one hand I would never want to deal with that, I don't know WHAT people are thinking when they put up only misleading photos. "I'll get him/her on the hook and then it will be too late!" But who would want to deal with an awkward first date when you show up and one or both of you is not at all what was expected?
At the same time, I don't exactly go around having full-length photos taken of me often. Ever. And there are few things less flattering (and arguably less realistic) than in-the-bathroom-mirror full self-portraits.
It's not too hard to just ask a friend to take a picture of you.
TECHNICALLY for me it is because I live in a different city from any of my RL friends. That's not an excuse for everyone, of course.
Coworker? Fellow student? Ask a cute guy? :winky:
Had that happen to me. She was cute... had a great head shot, upper body shot... said she was "curvy". I guess that's true if the curve is a ninety-degree angle at the waist all the way around and then rounds out five inches from the waist. I could have set a seven course meal on the "bubble butt" that stuck out from her waist. Ugh. So not attractive and so pissed off that she would lie about that.
I remember back in the day going out with a girl I met online who ended up being no where near what she described. I am not a small guy, and I understand that, but when a girl is 5" shorter and 100lbs heavier than me... I'm sorry, this isn't what I signed up for.
How was she as a person? I mean, any other unusual quirks you discovered on the date? Was there a second date after that?
Most of the messages I get are wow you are tall or something along those lines so I had to remove the picture that showed how tall I was to a certain mail box
This made me re-evaluate our relationship and it's apparent that my feelings for her have lessened. I shared this with her last night and despite her insistence that she did not mean to sound like she was better than me, I cannot seem to shake this negative feeling.
I'm not sure if my feelings for her will return. I'm hoping they do.
I say go for it.
This is probably because Texas is one of the fattest states in North America, and women are notoriously picky down there because a lot of the guys in the lone star are juicin'.
If you're talking about a technical position like Engineering or whatever, it's pretty simple why this is happening.
First, the employer will look at all the students with 4.0's GPA and resumes so exceptional that it's justifiable for the resume to be more then 1 page long.
Then they'll look at all the women who applied.
Then they'll start looking at average Joe's with experience.
Lastly they'll look at average Joe without any experience.
So basically, average guys who done average in class are basically looked at and called last.
I also got another message at around the same time -- a younger girl I had been chatting up with just asked me to get some coffee with her. Woo...
This may be the first and only time I've ever gotten two actual messages in the mailbox. Lucky day for Ages!
If you're just looking to get a couple general body shots and not get all crazy with it, maybe go hit something in your area that tourists check out? Nobody will think anything of it if you ask them to take your picture there, they'll just think you're a solo tourist.
Bam, problem solved, this is one of those "so obvious I can't believe I didn't think of it" things.
And then it would look like you actually go out and do stuff rather than being a shut in!
It's a win win really.
Such a pessimist.
She seemed like a really kind person but she agreed with pretty much anything that I said in a way that seemed like it wouldn't matter what I said and she'd still agree. She was also on edge throughout the date; her eyes were darting around all over the place. I did not try for a second date.
best angle
normal angle
WORST PHOTO EVER
So prospective dates can triangulate your hotness
In unrelated news, I'm glad I sent that extra message, as things are going fantastically with this girl.
Tell me, eh?
Nice! I'm convinced that fortune favors the bold (and polite). My gf told me, after we started dating, that it was my impulsive late-night IM that worked. It showed active interest, and providing a firm time/date made her life a lot easier (or in her words, "I'm sick of having to ask myself out").
Also, we're now officially bf/gf, which is pretty cool :winky: