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[Cards Against Humanity] Apples to Apples for awful people (Ye olde bustedness)

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    I really should know better than to go to the lava lamp museum while stoned.

    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by existing. (Auralynx)
    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by a squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles. (Iron Weasel)
    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by nothing. (Kuhlmeye)
    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by another goddamn vampire movie. (Jdarksun)
    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by chunks of dead prostitute. (TheRoadVirus) (*)
    I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by Krampus, the Austrian Christmas monster. (Mikey CTS)

    @See317, what turned your trip into a Trip?

    Man in the Mists on
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    I think I have to give this to chunks of dead prostitute. Mesmerizing not only for their surprising uniformity, but the unsettling implications of where you came into possession of so many chunks of dead prostitute.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Look, man. I know a guy. He can get things!

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    Look, I'm not asking questions. We all know it's not a party without at least one dead prostitute.
    Just saying, those are some awfully uniform chunks in the punchbowl.

    see317 on
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Only TheRoadVirus would try to put the prostitute back together. It's just as well that they're too high to function.

    Round 36: Kuhlmeye is judging

    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's _______.

    Please PM your answers while Kuhlmeye disassembles her in order to find her secret.

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    discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    Heh, "chunks of dead prostitute" would have been hilarious here.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    Post the question and go to bed, get up to all the answers. Such a nice feeling.

    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's a monkey smoking a cigar. (Mikey CTS)
    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's multiple stab wounds. (Jdarksun)
    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about. (Auralynx)
    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's penis envy. (Iron Weasel) (*)
    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's dorito breath. (See317)
    Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's hot cheese. (TheRoadVirus)

    @Kuhlmeye, what does your analysis indicate she had?

    Man in the Mists on
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    kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    Well, it has to be penis envy, right?

    Right?

    PSN: the-K-flash
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    kuhlmeye wrote: »
    Well, it has to be penis envy, right?

    Right?
    But what if that's what Kwanzaa actually is supposed to be about?

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Judging by the size of the rubber cock Iron Weasel had her wear, I'd say so.

    Round 37: Auralynx is judging

    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?

    Please PM your answers while Auralynx hopes the answers isn't rubber cockslaps.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Have the sci-fi books given you any clues, @Jdarksun?

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    Can I pay for it now and we'll say its good in a millennium?

    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Ambiguous sarcasm (Jdarksun)
    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Self-flagellation (TheRoadVirus)
    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Frolicking (Mikey CTS) (*)
    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Passing a kidney stone (See317)
    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Balls (Kuhlmeye)
    In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services? Medieval Times Dinner and Tournament (Iron Weasel)

    @Auralynx‌, why aren't you saving up paper money?

    Man in the Mists on
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    AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    Let's go with frolicking. I'd like to think that'll be a valuable commodity in the grim darkness of the far future.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Don't be like Mikey CTS, overpay and the necrons will be happy to make you pay.

    Round 38: TheRoadVirus is judging

    What never fails to liven up the party?

    Please PM your answers while TheRoadVirus is taught the difference between frolicking and flouncing.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    The one true answer to this one is hot cheese.
    Search yourselves. You know it to be true.

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Poor @Kuhlmeye is still waiting for the guests to arrive.

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    kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    WHOOPS, thought I had already sent it in.

    PSN: the-K-flash
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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    TWO WEEKS TOO EARLY FOURTH OF JULY PARTY! WOOOOOOO!

    What never fails to liven up the party? Getting abducted by Peter Pan (Iron Weasel)
    What never fails to liven up the party? Assless chaps (Auralynx)
    What never fails to liven up the party? A 55-gallon drum of lube (See317) (*)
    What never fails to liven up the party? Sharing needles (Kuhlmeye)
    What never fails to liven up the party? A sweaty, panting leather daddy (Jdarksun)
    What never fails to liven up the party? Getting so angry you pop a boner (Mikey CTS)

    @TheRoadVirus‌, what will make you a college legend?

    Man in the Mists on
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    Mikey CTSMikey CTS Registered User regular
    Holy hell, this is a tough round. I do not envy TRV's decision.

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior // MHW Name: Josei //
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    kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    Nooooo kidding

    PSN: the-K-flash
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Guys, I think we need to get together and party.

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    Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Assless chaps, popping boners, getting abducted, and a sweaty leather daddy are all nothing without LUUUUUUUUUUUBE

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    AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Guys, I think we need to get together and party.

    I had only one card for this one which made any sense, even by this environment's standards. I was bummed.

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    NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
    I bet even dealing with the needles is a tad more lively when you can't get a proper grip on them...scary...

    a4irovn5uqjp.png
    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
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    destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Auralynx wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    Guys, I think we need to get together and party.

    I had only one card for this one which made any sense, even by this environment's standards. I was bummed.

    Nonsense plays are sometimes the best plays.

    steam_sig.png
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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?

    Round 39: Mikey CTS is judging

    If you can't handle ________, you'd better stay away from ________.

    Please PM your answers while Mikey CTS enjoys being too slippery for the normals.

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    Mikey CTSMikey CTS Registered User regular
    Guys, guys! I'm all lubed up! It's go time.

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior // MHW Name: Josei //
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

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    LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    All of last rounds answers still work perfectly, especially if you use them together

    If you can't handle a 55 gallon tub of lube you better stay away from (literally every other one of the answers).

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

    Suddenly I'm visualizing a slightly small tube soaked with lube that a partygoers have to slide though in order to get into the party. I'll leave it to your imaginations that the exit looks like.

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    kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

    Suddenly I'm visualizing a slightly small tube soaked with lube that a partygoers have to slide though in order to get into the party. I'll leave it to your imaginations that the exit looks like.

    Well, I imagined what the exit looks like, and now I'm ruined forever.

    PSN: the-K-flash
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    Mikey CTSMikey CTS Registered User regular
    kuhlmeye wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

    Suddenly I'm visualizing a slightly small tube soaked with lube that a partygoers have to slide though in order to get into the party. I'll leave it to your imaginations that the exit looks like.

    Well, I imagined what the exit looks like, and now I'm ruined forever.

    Are you ruined for ever? ...or ready to party? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior // MHW Name: Josei //
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    kuhlmeyekuhlmeye Registered User regular
    Mikey CTS wrote: »
    kuhlmeye wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

    Suddenly I'm visualizing a slightly small tube soaked with lube that a partygoers have to slide though in order to get into the party. I'll leave it to your imaginations that the exit looks like.

    Well, I imagined what the exit looks like, and now I'm ruined forever.

    Are you ruined for ever? ...or ready to party? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

    ...Both?

    PSN: the-K-flash
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    CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Hey See317, how many parties do you think your lube will supply? One and a half? Maybe two?
    Depends on who all gets invited. With the crew around here, I think I'd need to crack open a second drum just to make it through introductions.
    We're talking about building a giant lubed up slide out of tarps on the side of a hill, right? Always livens a party up.

    Suddenly I'm visualizing a slightly small tube soaked with lube that a partygoers have to slide though in order to get into the party. I'll leave it to your imaginations that the exit looks like.

    Exactly what you'd expect?

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    Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    edited June 2014
    If you can't handle scads of innuendo and horrible mental images, what are you doing in this thread?

    If you can't handle the human body, you'd better stay away from the boners of the elderly. (Kuhlmeye)
    If you can't handle not having sex, you'd better stay away from mad hacky-sack skills. (Iron Weasel)
    If you can't handle a bitch slap, you'd better stay away from an honest cop with nothing left to lose. (TheRoadVirus) (*)
    If you can't handle black people, you'd better stay away from Africa. (Jdarksun)
    If you can't handle ass to mouth, you'd better stay away from Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body. (Auralynx)
    If you can't handle sexual humiliation, you'd better stay away from Bill Nye the Science Guy. (See317)

    @Mikey CTS, what should people take as a warning sign that they're not ready?

    Man in the Mists on
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    KaplarKaplar On Google MapsRegistered User regular
    Hahaha

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    Mikey CTSMikey CTS Registered User regular
    Oh man... I have to go with an honest cop with nothing to lose and bitch slapping. It just works too well.

    Well done, whoever made that play.

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior // MHW Name: Josei //
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