1st ever "Penny-Arcade Hero Academy Tournament" Toilet Bowl Champion!
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
Pump iron with the dude. What dude?
The dude with the arms. What arms?
The arms of cold steel. Rolled steel?
Come feel. Feel what?
Pump iron with the dude!
How you burn my world, you xcom game
You inspire me and then rescind.
All the destruction I've done, I've done for you.
I burn the barns for no one!
Every rocket!
Every floor!
Your dice can be so cruel
Just as the Director can be so cruel
So we offer ourselves to you
Yes we do
Playing without the funding
Fighting without enough meat
We, we won’t live within this game
Lilnoobs on
+4
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FandaHang a shining starupon the highest boughRegistered Userregular
Finally, something that won't knock us out of the sky in two hits.
Lt. Mudzgut scrambles to cover the landing site while we load up the Skyranger.
Alas, either they were at the end of their scouting run, or they saw Mudzgut coming and decided they didn't like their chances.
It looks like we'll have to wait awhile longer for a mission on polar terrain. That's the first UFO we've missed in quite some time.
Wait. What the shit?
I cancelled that project months ago, after we recovered our first UFO. All of our scientists switched over to alien alloys.
All but one, Commander.
... you?!
Indeed. It would have been irresponsible to allow the progress we had made to go to waste.
So you disobeyed a direct order.
As head of the research team, I made an executive decision.
You know, ordinarily I'd be upset, but we've been taking two or three shots just to kill Sectoids. Mutons are going to be impossible to deal with. I know the readers will be disappointed, but I think I need to reconsider my stance on laser weapons after all.
Just hypothetically, how soon could we produce a working model?
Dr. Shen estimates four years to build, followed by four more years of field testing.
Four years? That's ludicrous.
On the contrary, Commander. I find it laudably ambitious. We are talking about a 90 tonne prototype, after all.
But this is supposed to be a man-portable weapon!
Not possible within our lifetimes, I'm afraid. The energy requirements are far too high. We must live in the realm of scientific fact, not science fiction.
So when you say you've completed research on laser pistols, what you've actually achieved is ...
Concept art.
+20
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Personally, I think laser weapons are human tech, so....
you don't need any alien items to start it after all.
It's human natural scientific advancement in the xcom world.
But hey it's your funeral.
Oh wait it's everyone's funeral.
Well hey I'm not even on the roster yet so it's all of you guys funeral at this point.
*cackle*
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Edit:
My thought is that if laser weapons were in play, some of the earlier strategic decisions @Fanda made would have been different. Stay the course.
GONG-00 on
Black lives matter.
Law and Order ≠ Justice
ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
Stay the course! Only pull out laser weapons as a heroic and ultimately doomed last stand as sectopods get shoved up your rear end!
A footnote as it were to a doomed war
Look at all these alien sympathizers, wanting to use lasers.
Lasers aren't alien tech. They don't use them.
They've got better toys.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
+2
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Now if I said we should use [redacted] or [redacted redacted] you'd have a point.
Or even that we should research [redacted].
But I didn't.
Because [redacted].
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
Edit:
My thought is that if laser weapons were in play, some of the earlier strategic decisions @Fanda made would have been different. Stay the course.
Also, I still can't get over scherbchen picking up two reaction fire kills on her first mission. That's more than anyone else in the entire campaign to date.
Most soldiers have a reactions attribute of 35 to 50. I'd consider anything in the mid 50s to be excellent. And then there's scherbchen. Head on a f'n swivel.
With a score that good, I assume scherbchen's will score psi strength is so low that she has to be physically restrained whenever she hears an advertising jingle.
just like real life!
+4
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
Yeah well I've never played BL2, so any jokes about it are going to go over my head.
0
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FandaHang a shining starupon the highest boughRegistered Userregular
Small, slow, and weaving in a lazy serpentine pattern across southern Asia. This one is right in Lt. Mudzgut's wheelhouse.
The dogfight takes place over the badlands of southwestern Afghanistan, where we're unlikely to have any witnesses on the ground.
Mudzgut's third Stingray blows open the hull of the Medium Scout, and after a brief tailspin it crumples up against a dusty hillside.
At Neo-ChongQing, Timspork's Ghost flicks on the VTOL controls of his Skyranger as the hangar doors open above him. With March drawing to a close and the lease for Interceptor-4 already sitting on the Director's desk, this may be his last chance to deliver our troops into combat. He's determined to do right by them.
A different Skyranger pilot brings a very different kind of landing zone.
The operation is already living up to its name. Where are they all?
Oh. Well that's a new wrinkle.
Meet the Snakeman
Snakemen have more health and much better armor than the Sectoids and Floaters we've been fighting. They're also slow as molasses. This can actually work to their advantage on terror missions, as it gives the Chryssalids more time to find and infect civilians.
This is still a training mission, so our new recruits form a firing line under TeeMan's appraising eye.
Mvrck, you're up first.
Two hits! Way to go, Mvrck!
fedaykin666, take your shot.
Solid first effort. That cannon weighs a ton and the recoil is a beast. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
an_alt -
Hey, you're not a rookie! Cut that out, alt! I don't care how much you love shooting things.
Durinia's up next.
Really, really close. It's been a good showing from everyone so far, but we're running out of shots to finish the job. Farangu and the beefcake support have burnt up their time units on scouting, leaving SutibunRi as the last rookie available.
But Commander TeeMan isn't prepared to leave the safety of the squad up to rookie firing accuracy. Having just been promoted to the pinnacle of X-Com's military hierarchy, he's acutely aware that ultimate responsibility for any casualties rests on him, so he orders SutibunRi to pass him a primed grenade.
TeeMan has made his first decision as supreme commander of X-Com's ground forces: this Snakeman isn't going to see another turn.
And as it happens, neither are we.
Mudzgut was not screwing around up there.
Having scored the first hit on a new alien race, Mvrck alone is awarded his Squaddie badge. The other rookies will just have to look on with ill-concealed envy until the next mission presents itself.
+19
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ShimshaiFlush with Success!Isle of EmeraldRegistered Userregular
Just one enemy??
Steam/Origin: Shimshai
0
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
Posts
Bureaucratic kickbacks and favoritism.
Law and Order ≠ Justice
ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
OpenXcom gives you the option to change it from Buggins' turn into something resembling a meritocracy:
But we're partying like it's 1994.
It's happening again.
@cB557 don't you know who maintains the castle fascade? He does so while we fight the xenos.
Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
(Sarah is trying to reach the castle to rescue her baby brother.)
What dude?
The dude with the arms.
What arms?
The arms of cold steel.
Rolled steel?
Come feel.
Feel what?
Pump iron with the dude!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
How you burn my world, you xcom game
You inspire me and then rescind.
All the destruction I've done, I've done for you.
I burn the barns for no one!
Every rocket!
Every floor!
Your dice can be so cruel
Just as the Director can be so cruel
So we offer ourselves to you
Yes we do
Playing without the funding
Fighting without enough meat
We, we won’t live within this game
Finally, something that won't knock us out of the sky in two hits.
Lt. Mudzgut scrambles to cover the landing site while we load up the Skyranger.
Alas, either they were at the end of their scouting run, or they saw Mudzgut coming and decided they didn't like their chances.
It looks like we'll have to wait awhile longer for a mission on polar terrain. That's the first UFO we've missed in quite some time.
Wait. What the shit?
I cancelled that project months ago, after we recovered our first UFO. All of our scientists switched over to alien alloys.
... you?!
So you disobeyed a direct order.
You know, ordinarily I'd be upset, but we've been taking two or three shots just to kill Sectoids. Mutons are going to be impossible to deal with. I know the readers will be disappointed, but I think I need to reconsider my stance on laser weapons after all.
Just hypothetically, how soon could we produce a working model?
Four years? That's ludicrous.
But this is supposed to be a man-portable weapon!
So when you say you've completed research on laser pistols, what you've actually achieved is ...
you don't need any alien items to start it after all.
It's human natural scientific advancement in the xcom world.
But hey it's your funeral.
Oh wait it's everyone's funeral.
Well hey I'm not even on the roster yet so it's all of you guys funeral at this point.
*cackle*
just press some buttons
add some inputs... "no laser weapons"
wait ten minutes aaaaaaaaand
*bzzzzt*
...welp.
Counterpoint:
Edit:
My thought is that if laser weapons were in play, some of the earlier strategic decisions @Fanda made would have been different. Stay the course.
Law and Order ≠ Justice
ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
A footnote as it were to a doomed war
Switch Friend Code: SW-1406-1275-7906
Lasers aren't alien tech.
They don't use them.
They've got better toys.
Or even that we should research [redacted].
But I didn't.
Because [redacted].
counter counter point:
All~ the rockets!
Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
Mr. Torgue?
Steam profile.
Getting started with BATTLETECH: Part 1 / Part 2
"Lasers don't have big explosions therefore lasers suck" *KABOOOOM*
Counterpoint:
just like real life!
we've done that one
i was making a different joke
Law and Order ≠ Justice
ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
Small, slow, and weaving in a lazy serpentine pattern across southern Asia. This one is right in Lt. Mudzgut's wheelhouse.
The dogfight takes place over the badlands of southwestern Afghanistan, where we're unlikely to have any witnesses on the ground.
Mudzgut's third Stingray blows open the hull of the Medium Scout, and after a brief tailspin it crumples up against a dusty hillside.
At Neo-ChongQing, Timspork's Ghost flicks on the VTOL controls of his Skyranger as the hangar doors open above him. With March drawing to a close and the lease for Interceptor-4 already sitting on the Director's desk, this may be his last chance to deliver our troops into combat. He's determined to do right by them.
X-Com Order of Battle:
@Farangu and @Mvrck
HyphyKezzy and Elderlycrawfish
@fedaykin666 and theSquid
@Durinia and an_alt
@SutibunRi and TeeMan
A different Skyranger pilot brings a very different kind of landing zone.
The operation is already living up to its name. Where are they all?
Oh. Well that's a new wrinkle.
Meet the Snakeman
Snakemen have more health and much better armor than the Sectoids and Floaters we've been fighting. They're also slow as molasses. This can actually work to their advantage on terror missions, as it gives the Chryssalids more time to find and infect civilians.
This is still a training mission, so our new recruits form a firing line under TeeMan's appraising eye.
Mvrck, you're up first.
Two hits! Way to go, Mvrck!
fedaykin666, take your shot.
Solid first effort. That cannon weighs a ton and the recoil is a beast. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it.
an_alt -
Hey, you're not a rookie! Cut that out, alt! I don't care how much you love shooting things.
Durinia's up next.
Really, really close. It's been a good showing from everyone so far, but we're running out of shots to finish the job. Farangu and the beefcake support have burnt up their time units on scouting, leaving SutibunRi as the last rookie available.
But Commander TeeMan isn't prepared to leave the safety of the squad up to rookie firing accuracy. Having just been promoted to the pinnacle of X-Com's military hierarchy, he's acutely aware that ultimate responsibility for any casualties rests on him, so he orders SutibunRi to pass him a primed grenade.
TeeMan has made his first decision as supreme commander of X-Com's ground forces: this Snakeman isn't going to see another turn.
And as it happens, neither are we.
Mudzgut was not screwing around up there.
Having scored the first hit on a new alien race, Mvrck alone is awarded his Squaddie badge. The other rookies will just have to look on with ill-concealed envy until the next mission presents itself.
I'm going to blame a sandstorm.
Bier und wurst fur alles!
3DS: 0447-9966-6178
That surely can't take a sudden and vertiginous turn for the worse.
Snakemen, more like steakmen, amirite?