I went to a trans-feminine support group tonight. It was weird. There was a lot of weird sexism and judginess and drama going on. I was disappointed.
If its not too sucky, could you maybe elaborate a lil?? Im very interested in what sort of judgy sexism would go on and how it relates to what ive seen. And im sorry you bad a bad/weird experience, thats unfortunate, hopefully you can find a good group somewhere
I went to a trans-feminine support group tonight. It was weird. There was a lot of weird sexism and judginess and drama going on. I was disappointed.
If its not too sucky, could you maybe elaborate a lil?? Im very interested in what sort of judgy sexism would go on and how it relates to what ive seen. And im sorry you bad a bad/weird experience, thats unfortunate, hopefully you can find a good group somewhere
It was the "real trans women do this" variety of sexism
truscum refers to transmedicalists. i dont know if they were truscum (WOULDN'T DOUBT)
them folk are like IF YOU DONT PASS OR DONT GET GRS YOURE NOT A REAL LADY. cant stand that garbage narrative.
ive had better luck w/some facebook groups and the like with regard to a support group, if you're looking for a bit more ideological alignment or really, a less pressuring dialogue. the meetings ive attended were similar to fire trucks, whereupon people reiterate cissexist horseshit and try to tell you to harden up in a support group setting which uh, sorta defeats the purpose. the person leading the support group, she was one of them harry benjamin folk so there was a lot of grimacing
in uh different discussion, but maybe w/ similar threads?
im not announcing im leaving w/ some context where im making grandiose, boisterous claims here or there or accusations. the people i dont like/absolutely loathe already get that so theres no sense beating a dead horse. but yeah, im the fuck out of here, done and finito. i enjoyed some of my conversations w/ a great many of you, so if youre ever on twitter? hit me up on my twitter thats in my sig.
truscum refers to transmedicalists. i dont know if they were truscum (WOULDN'T DOUBT)
them folk are like IF YOU DONT PASS OR DONT GET GRS YOURE NOT A REAL LADY. cant stand that garbage narrative.
ive had better luck w/some facebook groups and the like with regard to a support group, if you're looking for a bit more ideological alignment or really, a less pressuring dialogue. the meetings ive attended were similar to fire trucks, whereupon people reiterate cissexist horseshit and try to tell you to harden up in a support group setting which uh, sorta defeats the purpose. the person leading the support group, she was one of them harry benjamin folk so there was a lot of grimacing
in uh different discussion, but maybe w/ similar threads?
im not announcing im leaving w/ some context where im making grandiose, boisterous claims here or there or accusations. the people i dont like/absolutely loathe already get that so theres no sense beating a dead horse. i enjoyed some of my conversations w/ a great many of you, so if youre ever on twitter? hit me up on my twitter thats in my sig.
Not sure if they were truscum per se, but there was definitely a hierarchy where if you didn't pass enough you weren't in charge or welcome to speak. The thing that made me want to leave was one lady, pulling conversation topics out of a hat (she had suggested everyone write something they wanted to talk about then put it in the hat, so they could be brought up w/o fear or judgement, then proceeded to go through each statement and skewer it judgmentally) said, "some of you all have to make your handwriting more feminine. This all looks illegible like dudes wrote it."
It was not super surprising. The event was associated with the Q Center, Portland's premier Queer community center that is inaccessible to completely everyone but the wealthiest and whitest, has placed itself smack dab in the middle of the city's most gentrified neighborhood, and for the past couple years has busied itself with absorbing and gutting other groups that were actually doing useful stuff. There was recently a scandal and a bunch of the leadership left, and the new leadership has been trying to reform and has been holding "town hall meetings" where community member have been consistently shouting what knobheads they are. So hopefully it's getting better. BRO, which is an organization I have a lot of respect for is taking over a lot of the center's functions. Still, the crappy momentum seems like a lot to shake off.
I had gone to this one because I had been hearing a lot of support on some Portland queer Facebook groups for a kind of makeup party for the newly out, nonbinary, and just generally femme-identifying folks to get together and play around with cosmetics. I was hoping to either see if someone with a less cat-filled house than me wanted to host, and to see if anyone wanted to come. I got some numbers and emails, so it wasn't a total wash. I kinda wanna go to another meeting just to see what it's like when it's not so crowded, and to yell at them a bunch.
Most of the ridiculous advice and commentary I've heard has come from the older generation of trans women. They have more of a tendency to stick with the "traditional" values of womanhood.
Like, I had trans women trying to talk me out of my surgeon and instead go to thailand
ugh
UGH
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Group talk reminds me of the stuff I've heard about the support group in my area from a friend; it was apparently just completely drama filled, which made me hesitant to even consider going [which is probably for the best; even a one on one therapy session leaves me feeling like I'm in the midst of a panic attack]
It's basically people putting some kind of specific requirement on gender identity, from "you must have dysphoria" to stuff like "you must complete conform to gender stereotypes, get surgery, etc."
Even the more "reasonable" ones do stuff like insist that non-binary people are just a trans man/woman in denial or whatever.
It's basically people putting some kind of specific requirement on gender identity, from "you must have dysphoria" to stuff like "you must complete conform to gender stereotypes, get surgery, etc."
Even the more "reasonable" ones do stuff like insist that non-binary people are just a trans man/woman in denial or whatever.
This specifically feels very much like how a lot of older people think that trans men/women are gay and confused
Like they can't conceive of the no binary so they "round" to the closest thing they understand
It's basically people putting some kind of specific requirement on gender identity, from "you must have dysphoria" to stuff like "you must complete conform to gender stereotypes, get surgery, etc."
Even the more "reasonable" ones do stuff like insist that non-binary people are just a trans man/woman in denial or whatever.
This specifically feels very much like how a lot of older people think that trans men/women are gay and confused
Like they can't conceive of the no binary so they "round" to the closest thing they understand
It's basically people putting some kind of specific requirement on gender identity, from "you must have dysphoria" to stuff like "you must complete conform to gender stereotypes, get surgery, etc."
Even the more "reasonable" ones do stuff like insist that non-binary people are just a trans man/woman in denial or whatever.
This specifically feels very much like how a lot of older people think that trans men/women are gay and confused
Like they can't conceive of the no binary so they "round" to the closest thing they understand
speaking of shitty things happening at mainstream events, an acquaintance of mine (never talked with her directly) apparently was pretty badly assaulted (broken arm) by security at a pride parade for protesting it after cops were allowed to march in-uniform
it's gross how quickly people can throw you away
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Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
edited February 2015
Wait, why was she protesting the pride parade? I'm not getting that part.
Edit: not trying to garner a qualifier I'm really just confused on that point.
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You've put into my mind now the image of a cucumber oroboros
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
now that's what I call a new romance
Nope, same old story
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
I'm completely unsurprised by this, honestly
from personal experience, and based on what other trans femme folk have said
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Not even something in the way?
If its not too sucky, could you maybe elaborate a lil?? Im very interested in what sort of judgy sexism would go on and how it relates to what ive seen. And im sorry you bad a bad/weird experience, thats unfortunate, hopefully you can find a good group somewhere
Idk it's just what I saw
It was the "real trans women do this" variety of sexism
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
them folk are like IF YOU DONT PASS OR DONT GET GRS YOURE NOT A REAL LADY. cant stand that garbage narrative.
ive had better luck w/some facebook groups and the like with regard to a support group, if you're looking for a bit more ideological alignment or really, a less pressuring dialogue. the meetings ive attended were similar to fire trucks, whereupon people reiterate cissexist horseshit and try to tell you to harden up in a support group setting which uh, sorta defeats the purpose. the person leading the support group, she was one of them harry benjamin folk so there was a lot of grimacing
in uh different discussion, but maybe w/ similar threads?
im not announcing im leaving w/ some context where im making grandiose, boisterous claims here or there or accusations. the people i dont like/absolutely loathe already get that so theres no sense beating a dead horse. but yeah, im the fuck out of here, done and finito. i enjoyed some of my conversations w/ a great many of you, so if youre ever on twitter? hit me up on my twitter thats in my sig.
Not sure if they were truscum per se, but there was definitely a hierarchy where if you didn't pass enough you weren't in charge or welcome to speak. The thing that made me want to leave was one lady, pulling conversation topics out of a hat (she had suggested everyone write something they wanted to talk about then put it in the hat, so they could be brought up w/o fear or judgement, then proceeded to go through each statement and skewer it judgmentally) said, "some of you all have to make your handwriting more feminine. This all looks illegible like dudes wrote it."
It was not super surprising. The event was associated with the Q Center, Portland's premier Queer community center that is inaccessible to completely everyone but the wealthiest and whitest, has placed itself smack dab in the middle of the city's most gentrified neighborhood, and for the past couple years has busied itself with absorbing and gutting other groups that were actually doing useful stuff. There was recently a scandal and a bunch of the leadership left, and the new leadership has been trying to reform and has been holding "town hall meetings" where community member have been consistently shouting what knobheads they are. So hopefully it's getting better. BRO, which is an organization I have a lot of respect for is taking over a lot of the center's functions. Still, the crappy momentum seems like a lot to shake off.
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
GoFund The Portland Trans Pride March, or Show It To People, or Else!
Like, I had trans women trying to talk me out of my surgeon and instead go to thailand
ugh
UGH
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
The new "My dad can beat up your dad"
just picturing a West Side Story-style knife fight, but with scalpels and full scrubs
Even the more "reasonable" ones do stuff like insist that non-binary people are just a trans man/woman in denial or whatever.
This specifically feels very much like how a lot of older people think that trans men/women are gay and confused
Like they can't conceive of the no binary so they "round" to the closest thing they understand
Kind of, yeah.
Yeah but in more of a general melancholy, rather than a "shed tears" sense.
It's internalized bigotry all the way down.
it's gross how quickly people can throw you away
Edit: not trying to garner a qualifier I'm really just confused on that point.
considering cops have a history of putting trans women in male prisons it's reasonable to protest that, i think.
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I'm sure there are a litany of problems with the way law enforcement treats trans people, but it isn't really up to them which prison people go to.
There are gender separated holding cells at police stations, and which one do you think they put the transwomen in?
Ouch, of course. Thank you for correcting me.
The ditch out back after raping and beating us to death
And the men's if we're lucky
...oh