one(nearby)country. distance isn't the problem or he wouldn't have asked to see me in the first place.
are you ashamed of me?no
am i ugly? no, you are beautiful
do you think your friends would find me ugly/dislike me? no
are you with me until you find someone better/irl? no, i love you
im getting on my own nerves asking questions like this all the time. if im so beautiful, smart and funny, why am i not worth a few days off from work? even president would be able to get those days, but he can't.
i only wish i could write something positive here like everyone else. *sighs*
one(nearby)country. distance isn't the problem or he wouldn't have asked to see me in the first place.
are you ashamed of me?no
am i ugly? no, you are beautiful
do you think your friends would find me ugly/dislike me? no
are you with me until you find someone better/irl? no, i love you
im getting on my own nerves asking questions like this all the time. if im so beautiful, smart and funny, why am i not worth a few days off from work? even president would be able to get those days, but he can't.
i only wish i could write something positive here like everyone else. *sighs*
Well you mentioned that the guy's a forumer so it's out there now. Hopefully this prods him into action because clearly it's an issue, and honestly 2 years of LDR without any in-person interaction sounds awful. I could barely stand 3-4 months of it when I was in an LDR.
i only wish i could write something positive here like everyone else. *sighs*
Not all of us have positive things to write, we simply choose not to write about the negatives for reasons entirely our own.
Take me, for example: I have no positive news or commentary to contribute, but I don't want to air my woes out in the open because of how many people I know in real life who read this thread. Also because the older I get, the less I want to open myself up to others when I know that, as an only child, I should be reinforcing my ability to cope with emotional trauma and distress on my own instead of leaning on others for support.
But if you want to share and open up, that's okay! That's part of what this thread is for, and part of why the people who frequent it do as they do. We're here for each other, in good times and bad, and you're no exception. It's okay.
i have love related issues that I need some help working through.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
believe it or not this isn't my style at all, but i was desperate and wanted to hear people's opinions. im not asking for emotional support, im used to not having any.
i wanna have something positive to share because there is something actually positive going on, ya know?
but yeah, none of this is real and im just text on the screen anyway.
i have love related issues that I need some help working through.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
Spoilered to not butt up thread
Sounds like drug use is one of your relationship non-negotiables. That's one of those things you will have to decide for yourself. Accepting this kind of problem isn't a way to move past it either. Anecdotaly alcohol and drug abuse are on my list of things I won't have in a relationship. I've tried to 'let it go' and it's ended in resentment and pain.
i have love related issues that I need some help working through.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
Spoilered to not butt up thread
What kind of drugs are we talking about here? There's a world of difference between cocaine and Marijuana, for example.
believe it or not this isn't my style at all, but i was desperate and wanted to hear people's opinions. im not asking for emotional support, im used to not having any.
i wanna have something positive to share because there is something actually positive going on, ya know?
but yeah, none of this is real and im just text on the screen anyway.
It is easy to think that it is just text on a screen and the people here aren't real, but that isn't true. And while I wouldn't recommend relying on the forum people for support, I think it is a bit dismissive to imply there isn't any to be found here.
Also, this thread is always a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs. It isn't all good and happy. It is just as much trials and tribulations. So don't feel bad for posting your own.
and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
but they're listening to every word I say
i have love related issues that I need some help working through.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
Spoilered to not butt up thread
What kind of drugs are we talking about here? There's a world of difference between cocaine and Marijuana, for example.
I am not saying that one is wrong to take any of those things, and that someone who takes those drugs can't be in a happy and healthy relationship (I think they very much can)
But the fact that it makes you so anxious does tend to suggest to me that this is a problem for your relationship specifically
i have love related issues that I need some help working through.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
Spoilered to not butt up thread
What kind of drugs are we talking about here? There's a world of difference between cocaine and Marijuana, for example.
Marijuana, 'pills and tabs' and nitrous oxide.
This is making me sick to talk about sorry.
Go with your instincts, man. Sounds like this is going to be contentious for you no matter what path you take.
i didn't say that about support?just said that's not why i posted here. thanks everybody for your comments, i thought no one would comment at all.
At the end of the day you are entitled to want what you want, and when what you want is something as incredibly reasonable as "show up and smooch my face once in two years" and the other person won't accommodate that
the only thing better than smooching is the forbidden mega-smooch
The Forbidden Chaos Smooch
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
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HacksawJ. Duggan Esq.Wrestler at LawRegistered Userregular
Let us cleanse these foul smooches
+1
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
I have a vague memory, nearly lost in the mists of 5 to 7 years, of smooches being pretty rad.
+1
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
That's what happens with the forbidden chaos smooch. If you fail your save you forget it ever happened.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
yes and
this may say something or another about me
but I prefer the ones laid on lips or foreheads or cheeks or necks or wherever to making out prefer, but making out is still pretty great
The woman that canceled on Friday that I never expected to hear from again rescheduled for Saturday. We went to an art museum. I genuinely had a great time, and I thought things went well!
Thought they went well, anyway. Apparently I appeared disinterested in her and because I hadn't gotten a chance to discuss the check with her at lunch before the waiter appeared and offered, it was apparently a bad sign to split it without discussing (according to her when we discussed all this later, while I was trying to figure out why something I enjoyed was not something she perceived me to enjoy).
So for the past two days, I've been walking on eggshells, and she keeps asking me these strange questions that I won't go into detail about, and then I answer them to the best of my ability, and she's just been getting annoyed at my answers? Dissatisfied? I don't know, but I haven't doubted myself this much in a long time. I thought we were on an even keel this evening, when she offered to cook me dinner on my birthday.
Then she asked me another question of a private nature, and my answer really set her off, and she canceled, and I'm pretty sure we're not talking anymore.
And this is why I don't date, and don't want to date, and would rather just never be around anyone ever!
Also, everyone I invited to my birthday dinner last night canceled except for my best friend and his girlfriend, so that was fucking shitty too. Whenever anyone questions why I'm so goddamn neurotic, I'm just going to point them to this weekend. Fuck.
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I Win Swordfightsall the traits of greatnessstarlight at my feetRegistered Userregular
I've never been on a conventional date with someone before, but I didn't think splitting a check on a date was a big deal. Or that it indicated disinterest on the guy's part. I could understand being upset about it if you expected her to pay for everything...
And sorry about your birthday. Shitty birthdays really suck - I've had plenty. You'll have to make sure to have an amazing one next year!
+7
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
I will do the check dance... but it's real because I'm totally okay with paying and ideally rather than splitting the check we'd switch off who pays, maybe me today and you the next time, or vice versa.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
Splits seems the best on a first date, in case they don't end up wanting a second
From there though switching off definitely seems the easiest. Nothing quite builds the romantic tension at the end of an awesome date quite like calculating money.
Posts
Aside from the Lorde angle which I don't quite get, this is a lot of great advicing for people in all sorts of relationships.
are you ashamed of me?no
am i ugly? no, you are beautiful
do you think your friends would find me ugly/dislike me? no
are you with me until you find someone better/irl? no, i love you
im getting on my own nerves asking questions like this all the time. if im so beautiful, smart and funny, why am i not worth a few days off from work? even president would be able to get those days, but he can't.
i only wish i could write something positive here like everyone else. *sighs*
Well you mentioned that the guy's a forumer so it's out there now. Hopefully this prods him into action because clearly it's an issue, and honestly 2 years of LDR without any in-person interaction sounds awful. I could barely stand 3-4 months of it when I was in an LDR.
Does he have a girlfriend/wife?
Oh geez is that familiar.
this is good to read
i feel like it would be pretty easy for me to become the guy in that situation given my feels
so it will be good to keep in mind
Not all of us have positive things to write, we simply choose not to write about the negatives for reasons entirely our own.
Take me, for example: I have no positive news or commentary to contribute, but I don't want to air my woes out in the open because of how many people I know in real life who read this thread. Also because the older I get, the less I want to open myself up to others when I know that, as an only child, I should be reinforcing my ability to cope with emotional trauma and distress on my own instead of leaning on others for support.
But if you want to share and open up, that's okay! That's part of what this thread is for, and part of why the people who frequent it do as they do. We're here for each other, in good times and bad, and you're no exception. It's okay.
Currently head over heels for this girl living in Australia and we are organising plans to get together. So that's all fine. However
I have some pretty deep anxiety over people I know taking drugs, mostly personal brainspiders but its led to me terminating friendships and such on account of them showing up fucked up to gatherings and what not and being a write off.
I don't take drugs and I try not to pass judgement but I still get crazy anxious around discussion of it and people doing it where I need to leave the conversation/party/what have you.
She takes drugs recreationally but also becomes a write off when we Skype or play games together and that gets zero play with me as well as setting my anxiety off like crazy.
I need some help trying too ameliorate my brainspiders about it and getting this knot resolved before I can in good consciousness get together with her.
Spoilered to not butt up thread
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
i wanna have something positive to share because there is something actually positive going on, ya know?
but yeah, none of this is real and im just text on the screen anyway.
Sounds like drug use is one of your relationship non-negotiables. That's one of those things you will have to decide for yourself. Accepting this kind of problem isn't a way to move past it either. Anecdotaly alcohol and drug abuse are on my list of things I won't have in a relationship. I've tried to 'let it go' and it's ended in resentment and pain.
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
guess.
I am very nervous about it.
It is easy to think that it is just text on a screen and the people here aren't real, but that isn't true. And while I wouldn't recommend relying on the forum people for support, I think it is a bit dismissive to imply there isn't any to be found here.
Also, this thread is always a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs. It isn't all good and happy. It is just as much trials and tribulations. So don't feel bad for posting your own.
but they're listening to every word I say
Marijuana, 'pills and tabs' and nitrous oxide.
This is making me sick to talk about sorry.
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
But the fact that it makes you so anxious does tend to suggest to me that this is a problem for your relationship specifically
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
Go with your instincts, man. Sounds like this is going to be contentious for you no matter what path you take.
At the end of the day you are entitled to want what you want, and when what you want is something as incredibly reasonable as "show up and smooch my face once in two years" and the other person won't accommodate that
Then they're a turd
And the thing you do with turds
Is you flush 'em
http://www.audioentropy.com/
if so, that might be setting off his brain spiders
#foreveralone
The Forbidden Chaos Smooch
Want to play co-op games? Feel free to hit me up!
This sounds like something I need to learn
SMOOCHES OF TZEENTCH
yes and
this may say something or another about me
but I prefer the ones laid on lips or foreheads or cheeks or necks or wherever to making out
prefer, but making out is still pretty great
Thought they went well, anyway. Apparently I appeared disinterested in her and because I hadn't gotten a chance to discuss the check with her at lunch before the waiter appeared and offered, it was apparently a bad sign to split it without discussing (according to her when we discussed all this later, while I was trying to figure out why something I enjoyed was not something she perceived me to enjoy).
So for the past two days, I've been walking on eggshells, and she keeps asking me these strange questions that I won't go into detail about, and then I answer them to the best of my ability, and she's just been getting annoyed at my answers? Dissatisfied? I don't know, but I haven't doubted myself this much in a long time. I thought we were on an even keel this evening, when she offered to cook me dinner on my birthday.
Then she asked me another question of a private nature, and my answer really set her off, and she canceled, and I'm pretty sure we're not talking anymore.
And this is why I don't date, and don't want to date, and would rather just never be around anyone ever!
Also, everyone I invited to my birthday dinner last night canceled except for my best friend and his girlfriend, so that was fucking shitty too. Whenever anyone questions why I'm so goddamn neurotic, I'm just going to point them to this weekend. Fuck.
And sorry about your birthday.
From there though switching off definitely seems the easiest. Nothing quite builds the romantic tension at the end of an awesome date quite like calculating money.