This, along with body type, is a real problem for my current belief structure. I very strongly believe that physical attraction is mostly out of your hands, and I don't judge people for not being attracted to pretty much any physical attribute, whether it's height, weight, complexion, or even ethnicity. You're into what you're into; you can't force yourself to be attracted to short people or overweight people in a similar way that you can't force yourself to be attracted to a particular gender.
However, what we deem attractive is heavily influenced by what our society or environment tells us is attractive. For example, overweight people, particularly women, are presented as less attractive in our media, and this is also true of body hair on women. It would be great if we could try to mitigate this to a certain extent, but the problem is that we are already conditioned.
So the paradox, to me, is how do you promote progressive ideals of attractiveness in media and society while still acknowledging that people, for the most part, can't change what they're already attracted to?
There's two opposing forces involved in how people make judgements about who/what they find attractive: attraction and revulsion. You're attracted to an individual's good qualities, and you're driven away by those qualities which you're disgusted by (well, generally it's not as strong as disgust exactly, but just that general feeling of "eh not my thing").
You don't control the things you're attracted to; those are built up by a massive number of different little factors over your life. However, you can much more easily take control over the things you're repulsed by. That process is super simple, it's just a matter of desensitization. If you make a conscious effort to keep yourself open to something, then every time you're exposed to it you'll be bothered less and less.
I think everyone could benefit from trying to be driven a little more by focusing on the good qualities in others and giving some slack to their sense of revulsion. Obviously there's cases where it's good that you're disgusted by someone (like, people need to clean themselves for health reasons, and moral disgust can be valuable), but people would do well to spend more effort to examine things like "am I really that turned off that she doesn't shave?" or "does it really bother me that much that he's a little chubby?", etc.
+1
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BethrynUnhappiness is MandatoryRegistered Userregular
re: legs after a certain point of swarthiness I just associate them with being manlegs. But like, some ladies I know have slightly hairy arms & legs, and it's not a particularly big deal.
tbh if given the option i would genetically modify all humans to have no hair except on head and maybe face and chest for those who really like that.
...and of course, as always, Kill Hitler.
+1
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spacekungfumanPoor and minority-filledRegistered User, __BANNED USERSregular
Listing agent says he thinks our offer is reasonable! *fingers and toes crossed*
Listing agent says he thinks our offer is reasonable! *fingers and toes crossed*
Funny enough the meeting I'm now waiting for the others to show up to is about selling a house. I've learned a ton about how all this stuff works since I started working as my mother's personal assistant...and it's fucking complicated!
I wish you much luck, an accepted offer, a clear inspection report, and low closing costs!
Belasco32 on
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
a pair for mowing the lawn
a pair for the gym
a general use pair
im like, ive got all that! *points at super dilapidated 8 year old nike sneakers* back off woman!
Once the nice sneakers wear out they become the yard sneakers and you buy new nice sneakers.
+3
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Nova_CI have the needThe need for speedRegistered Userregular
Huh. Starting in August I may have a workout buddy.
I may actually get serious about working out again.
Also, Soylent at one week (Still at two meals a day): Going strong. The flavour continues to grow on me. Considering going to 100% Soylent in the near future.
+2
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DynagripBreak me a million heartsHoustonRegistered User, ClubPAregular
i've got a fair number of shoes due to specialization for various activities. softball, weightlifting, basketball, boating, etc. I am not doing any of those things of late though.
Also it's sexually exciting to accept things that you're normally disgusted by.
That's like porn 101.
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnope
(or more specifically, not for everyone)
No, I am pretty much adamant about this.
Like, don't get me wrong, people won't just see a picture of something they find disgusting and suddenly get turned on.
Rather the process in which something that is taboo is delicately shifted over the line into something that is acceptable is generally super exciting to people.
Sorry to hear that, Bogart. That was a pretty kitty.
+8
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
While I'm flattered that Pandora's targetted ad is asking me to donate eggs, I can't help but feel they have gathered inshficcient data.
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
i own like 5 or so shoes
the chukkas i am wearing now
a pairs of chucks
a pair of wingtips
tome really beat up chelsea boots that i need to replace
a pair of running shoes
some doc martins i wear in the winter as my snow boots
Huh. Starting in August I may have a workout buddy.
I may actually get serious about working out again.
Also, Soylent at one week (Still at two meals a day): Going strong. The flavour continues to grow on me. Considering going to 100% Soylent in the near future.
I would go to the roof deck of the tallest building I could get to and jump off if my diet was 100% replaced with something called Soylent forever.
That's my checking out point.
SW-4158-3990-6116
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Posts
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
There's two opposing forces involved in how people make judgements about who/what they find attractive: attraction and revulsion. You're attracted to an individual's good qualities, and you're driven away by those qualities which you're disgusted by (well, generally it's not as strong as disgust exactly, but just that general feeling of "eh not my thing").
You don't control the things you're attracted to; those are built up by a massive number of different little factors over your life. However, you can much more easily take control over the things you're repulsed by. That process is super simple, it's just a matter of desensitization. If you make a conscious effort to keep yourself open to something, then every time you're exposed to it you'll be bothered less and less.
I think everyone could benefit from trying to be driven a little more by focusing on the good qualities in others and giving some slack to their sense of revulsion. Obviously there's cases where it's good that you're disgusted by someone (like, people need to clean themselves for health reasons, and moral disgust can be valuable), but people would do well to spend more effort to examine things like "am I really that turned off that she doesn't shave?" or "does it really bother me that much that he's a little chubby?", etc.
tbh if given the option i would genetically modify all humans to have no hair except on head and maybe face and chest for those who really like that.
spool25 summer dress shoes are awesome
That's like porn 101.
(or more specifically, not for everyone)
He's addressing probably the only [chat] denizen that could oblige him.
texas law and all that
wife is pressuring me to buy all these shoes
a pair for mowing the lawn
a pair for the gym
a general use pair
im like, ive got all that! *points at super dilapidated 8 year old nike sneakers* back off woman!
I wear only 3 of those pairs with any regularity though.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Dedicated gym shoes I can see but old sneakers sound ideal for lawn shenanigans.
Funny enough the meeting I'm now waiting for the others to show up to is about selling a house. I've learned a ton about how all this stuff works since I started working as my mother's personal assistant...and it's fucking complicated!
I wish you much luck, an accepted offer, a clear inspection report, and low closing costs!
sounds like you got all the advice you need son
Once the nice sneakers wear out they become the yard sneakers and you buy new nice sneakers.
I may actually get serious about working out again.
Also, Soylent at one week (Still at two meals a day): Going strong. The flavour continues to grow on me. Considering going to 100% Soylent in the near future.
No, I am pretty much adamant about this.
Like, don't get me wrong, people won't just see a picture of something they find disgusting and suddenly get turned on.
Rather the process in which something that is taboo is delicately shifted over the line into something that is acceptable is generally super exciting to people.
Breaking in new shoes isn't fun.
But new shoes are great.
What were your findings?
Heeeelp my husband to see the footwear light!
the chukkas i am wearing now
a pairs of chucks
a pair of wingtips
tome really beat up chelsea boots that i need to replace
a pair of running shoes
some doc martins i wear in the winter as my snow boots
Why would you buy shoes to mow the lawn?
Do you also buy pants for painting?
I would go to the roof deck of the tallest building I could get to and jump off if my diet was 100% replaced with something called Soylent forever.
That's my checking out point.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Or maybe they have too much data?
Where are you hiding the eggs, Shiv?
brown dress shoes
nice non-dress shoes
sneakers
shit shoes
5 pair is plenty.
I actively wish I were less empathic
i guess she thinks the 8 year old shoes need to be thrown out and i don't have any other shoes
Dockers I have on now.
Two pairs of sneakers. One blue and one grey.
I need some sandals though.
I handle a pet's death the same way I'd handle every family member.
are they requesting your eggs specifically? Do you have a roommate that sleeps really deeply?
*tackle hug @Shivahn on the way out*