[Cards Against Humanity] TRV wins and wrecks it for everyone else.

Cog

TheRoadVirus wrote: »

:winky:

Its not what you were thinking.

Erin The Red

chamberlain

It appears that @Man in the Mists is not getting notifications again. If anyone sees him in another thread, kick him in the shins for me, okay?

chamberlain

I feel better now that I have all of the cards. But how does @TheRoadVirus feel?

Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of A lemon party. (Anialos)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of My silent twin, the afterbirth. (Man in the Mists )
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale. (Cog)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of An absinthe enema. (Cythraul)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of Nickelback. (Elvenshae)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim. (Heffling)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of Crucifixion. (Egos)

Erin The Red

The afterbirth sounds like a thing that people would actually use for curative powers. So yeah. That. Gonna go barf now

chamberlain

Wasn't that a scene from the Uzumaki manga? @Man in the Mists googled that reference and was never the same.

Don't do it.

Do it.

DON'T DO IT.

OH GOD THE SPIRALS.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Egos @Elvenshae @Heffling @TheRoadVirus

Now that you won't be sleeping:

Round 28: What do you see?

Assuming we make it round 30 we will do another 'discard these shit cards' round.

chamberlain

Psst, @Cythraul I see you hoarding your cards.

chamberlain

Last call for @Cythraul !

chamberlain

@Man in the Mists sees dead people. And just a little of this, too:

What do you see? Slow motion. (Heffling)
What do you see? A nugget of poo roughly the size and shape of a crouton. (TheRoadVirus)
What do you see? Some douche with an acoustic guitar. (Elvenshae)
What do you see? Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks. (Cythraul)
What do you see? Honey Boo Boo shotgunning a 2-litre bottle of "go-go juice." (Cog )
What do you see? Ted Nugent's cold, dead hands. (Anialos)
What do you see? An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people. (Egos)

Man in the Mists

By now I'm sure Honey Boo Boo can suck down go-go juice like she's rushing for a sorority.

chamberlain

At least we know what is cluttering up @cog s DVR.

This seems oddly appropriate based on what is happening tomorrow:

Round 29: When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate _____.

@Anialos @Cythraul @Egos @Elvenshae @Heffling @Man in the Mists @TheRoadVirus

You can substitute billionaire with president if it makes you feel better/worse.

Cog

This is one of my more favorite black cards.

chamberlain

It's yuuuuuuge.

chamberlain

We really need to fix @Man in the Mists notification issues.

Or he just doesn't like us anymore.

chamberlain

@Cog must have won life's lottery - his endowment was huge. And he has a lot of money, too.

When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate Repression. (Elvenshae )
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate A racist toddler. (Anialos)
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate Infinity. (Heffling)
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair. (Man in the Mists)
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate Doing the waffle stomp. (Egos)
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate Vomiting mid-blowjob. (Cythraul)
When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate My stupid grabby hands and shitty hair and dumb fucking face. (TheRoadVirus)

Cog

There were goddamn good answers in here, but someone played to their judge. This day, of all days, there can be only one thing we commemorate, and that thing is Repression.

chamberlain

@Elvenshae wins the round! I am not sure what a 50 statue of repression would look like but I am certain it would have orange skin.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Egos @Heffling @Man in the Mists @TheRoadVirus

We have made it to round 30! Post any shit cards you want to rid yourself of and I will give you new, shittier cards, guaranteed.

Anialos

William Shatner.
Trademark infringement.
Hulk Hogan.
Dorito breath.
A shockingly flatulent bobcat.
Boxing up my feelings.
Ladles.
A bitch slap.

Puuuuuuuurge

Man in the Mists

Figgy pudding
A zesty breakfast burrito

The rest are workable.

Erin The Red

State of the art animatronics
Krampus
Fear itself

Elvenshae

Danger pheromones.
Mistakenly hitting on a League of Legends statue.
A husband bulge.
A floor that is literally made of lava.
A bloody pacifier.

Heffling

Wiping her butt.
Slicing a ham in icy silence.
Juggalos.
Tufted ears.
AXE Body Spray.
Pooping back and forth. Forever.

Cog

Natalie Portman.

I can work with everything else.

Egos

Discards

1. September 11th, 2001.
2. Mesothelioma.
3. That thing that electrocutes your abs.
4. Achieving 500 actions per minute

chamberlain

Some of those were terrible cards, though I could certainly work with Natalie Portman.

@Elvenshae Prepare to judge!

Round 30: While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on _____.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Egos @Heffling @Man in the Mists @TheRoadVirus

See! Natalie Portman.

chamberlain

Or was that Keira Knightley?

chamberlain

Knock Knock

Who's there.

@Anialos

Naw, man, Anialos' not here, man.

No, man, this is Anialos.

What?

This is Anialos!

When then slip your card under the door, man!

chamberlain

No one appreciates the Cheech and Chong reference? A bunch of square whipper snappers, that's what you are. Just like @Elvenshae

While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on Sugar and spice and everything nice. (Egos)
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes. (Cythraul)
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on What The Rock was really cooking. (Cog)
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on Pelvic sorcery. (Anialos)
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on The crotches of strangers. (The Road Virus)
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on A Waco, Texas-themed novelty barbecue pit and smoker. (Heffling )
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on Blood farts. (Man in the Mists)

Elvenshae

chamberlain wrote: »

While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into research on A Waco, Texas-themed novelty barbecue pit and smoker.

Very prescient of them.

chamberlain

@Heffling ties Cog for the lead with questionably themed charcuterie. Now he gets to be the DM.

Round 31: You have been waylaid by _____ and must defend yourself.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Egos @Elvenshae @Man in the Mists @TheRoadVirus

Geth roll 1d20

1d20 11 [1d20=11]

chamberlain

@Heffling rolls 2d10 and glances at the random encounter table. He frowns, rolls the dice again, then chuckles.

'This is what you jerks get for ordering pepperoni on the pizza. You know that gives me heartburn.

You have been waylaid by The fabled Mongolian Death Worm and must defend yourself. (Cythraul)
You have been waylaid by A cop who is also a dog and must defend yourself. (TheRoadVirus)
You have been waylaid by The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life and must defend yourself. (Anialos)
You have been waylaid by Porn stars and must defend yourself. (Egos )
You have been waylaid by My level 90 night elf, Leafshit Puddingsbane and must defend yourself. (Man in the Mists)
You have been waylaid by Republicans and must defend yourself. (Elvenshae)
You have been waylaid by A mime having a stroke and must defend yourself. (Cog)

Heffling

You have been waylaid by Porn stars and must defend yourself.

I unsheathe my two-handed swords, if you know what I mean.

chamberlain

Way laid, right @Egos ? Way laid.

Round 32: I'm constantly confusing _____ and _____.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Heffling @Man in the Mists @TheRoadVirus

Understandable in the face of facts versus alternative facts.

Elvenshae

Those were good answers, y'all.

chamberlain

@Egos is confused. On one hand you have:

I'm constantly confusing Crabs Adjust Humidity and Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage. (Elvenshae)
I'm constantly confusing Photosynthesis and Pixelated bukkake. (Cog)
I'm constantly confusing A face full of horse cum and Being awesome at sex. (TheRoadVirus )
I'm constantly confusing Overpowering your father and Passive-agression. (Man in the Mists)
I'm constantly confusing Terry Fox's prosthetic leg and Having shotguns for legs. (Heffling)
I'm constantly confusing Self-flagellation and The basic suffering that pervades all of existence. (Cythraul)
I'm constantly confusing African children and Blowjobs for everyone. (Anialos)

and on the other hand you have none of those things ever.

Egos

Face full of horse cum and being awesome at sex

chamberlain

Today we learned that @TheRoadVirus is a delusional promiscuous equine with bad aim. Interesting.

@Anialos @Cog @Cythraul @Egos @Elvenshae @Heffling @Man in the Mists

Round 33: The class field trip was completely ruined by _____.

Tell what me what you really don't want to see on a note from the teacher.

chamberlain

@TheRoadVirus

The class field trip was completely ruined by Coat hanger abortions. (Anialos)
The class field trip was completely ruined by A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour. (Man in the Mists )
The class field trip was completely ruined by Explaining how I got the nickname "Nibbleberries." (Egos)
The class field trip was completely ruined by The age of consent. (Heffling)
The class field trip was completely ruined by Loki, the trickster god. (Elvenshae)
The class field trip was completely ruined by Futuristic death sports. (Cythraul)
The class field trip was completely ruined by Fucking up "Silent Night" in front of 300 parents. (Cog)

Cog

Well shit. I thought I had a chance at this round.

Guess not. Good plays, gents!

Erin The Red

The bus! Always ruining shit!