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Eugene Hutz thread that may include lesbianism
Posts
PSN: Bogestrom
R.I.P. Wampa Milk
If they're stupid, they date stupid women
If they're of low moral fiber they date women who are likewise
Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
Oh my god she looked like some kind of drug addict who just rolled out of a dumpster. We were at mom's house and taking some pictures with my fiancee and for the family picture, she just burst out with "I DON'T WANNA GET MY PITCHER TAKEN I LOOK LIKE CRAP!" My mom always attempts to put on a proper appearance and generally succeeds, so she just said "Oh, that's lovely." That got followed up with "IT'S JESUS'S BIRTHDAY AND I LOOK LIKE CRAP!" at like 160 decibels. And she really, really did. Everyone else was dressed, I would say, about "business casual" or whatever, and she was wearing big boots, damaged jeans, and a huge, wrinkled, untucked, blue flannel shirt. Her hair was unfastened right before the photo was taken, which is weird because it looked better up. Taking it down just accented how dirty it was. Also the dark circles under her eyes showed in the pictures, they were so bad.
She showed up at my fiancee's father's house and regaled us with stories of her retarded hick town that were obviously fake or exaggerated. The best was the one where she told a ten-minute version of the time she didn't watch her dog, who she gave the same name as the girl I'm marrying, and the dog wandered into the highway near the house and was fucking obliterated by an 18-wheeler in a way that Itagaki would think is needlessly gory.
But probably the high point was when she talked about her marriage. She is legally separated and has been for like two years which means she can now get a divorce without him having to agree to it. But she's staying with him because he was so supportive of her when she miscarried someone else's baby. Oh, the other guy is married, by the way. And like 20 years older than she is. Anyway, when I pointed out that her husband will never be permitted near my family on account of him being a kid-touching rapist, she was quick to defend. You see, here's what happened:
He was 22 and his wife had a daughter from a previous marriage who was 17. One time, he got drunk and touched the daughter's butt by accident. Ten years later they got divorced and the woman brought charges against him for underage butt-touching, just to be a bitch. His public defender read the sentencing chart to him, just so he'd know in advance what the penalty could be if he were convicted. The penalty was huge, apparently, and I guess there was a lot of hard evidence against him, so he plea-bargained it. Apparently the penalty for "drunkenly touching a 17-year-old's butt ten years ago" is so severe that even after a plea bargain you get a long jail sentence (like 10+ years, he's looking at 2012) and the charge is reduced to "gross sexual imposition on a minor." Now, in case you aren't a fucking idiot and this sounds suspect to you, I asked her and she tells me that he definitely isn't lying; she called the ex-wife and this story was confirmed.
So yeah, great Christmas. It was like filling up the spank bank at a beach or something, except that instead of a mental catalog of pleasant, sexy things, it's a catalog of disturbing but hilarious events involving a >200 pound tardbeast.
yeah, smoke to hide the super-mystery
and mirrors to reflect the super-ultra-mystery
So here is lesson one about her. If you ask a follow-up question, you open a rabbit hole of further stupidity.
She was dating someone else (50 other retarded stories omitted) who ended up in jail on some kind of drug charges or something. He was on meth, he had been a dealer of something at some point, but I don't have the details. Anyway, she was visiting him in jail and somehow was introduced to this other guy who she eventually married.
Yes, she met him in jail and is married to him but has never physically touched him.
PSN: Bogestrom
R.I.P. Wampa Milk
this is what i was hoping for
well...not hoping for, but anticipating
One of them was posted here a while back.
PSN: Bogestrom
R.I.P. Wampa Milk
I swear to god my mom found her in a dumpster in the early 80s and just raised her. What's really weird is that there's a girl who works at a restaurant kind of near where I lived as a child and she's the right age to be my sister and she kind of looks like a pretty version of my actual sister (it helps that she's not 180% of her ideal weight). When I go to that restaurant and see her I always think "this is my real sister."
It's sort of amusing that this sounds somehow better than what actually happened.
Also she does partially help to explain my extreme intolerance of stupidity. That and that my father just passionately hates anything he sees as stupid.
well at least you're saner than usual in other aspects
only one way to find out
knock her up, see how many eyes the baby ends up with
It's a good defense mechanism, you know, just to pretend that they were switched at birth. I mean, if she were around at Christmas, she would probably not look like a hobo that someone photoshopped into the picture. She probably wouldn't slap a dog's vagina at guests. She probably wouldn't say anything about her other dog's penis.
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Not everyone is from Alaska, dude.
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kpop appreciation station i also like to tweet some
but instead I've been doped up on medicine sleeping through this flu (or whatever it is)
my tally so far: I've been awake for 7.5 hours of 2009
back to bed!
i think im doing this wrong