It's not that he assumed I knew Turkish. It's that he had grown up all his life hearing and speaking Turkish, so that's what his brain is hard wired to interpret. Without thinking about it, if you hear something in your native language, your brain processes it as such. When he heard me say "bus", his brains first thought was "Go!". Only later did his brain go through the much longer process of saying "Bus: that's English for giant metal thing of death. That's probably what he means."
Yeah, that's exactly how I saw it. He hears you say bus, which to him means go, he goes. You hear something in your native language you don't think twice if it's in your secondary language cause of how you've grown up. Strange and frightful story indeed.
More of a strange string of moments... Years ago, I was coming back from lunch with a coworker and we saw a minor traffic accident at the first intersection about two cars in front of us, we navigate around the fenderbender and make it to the next intersection to see a more spectacular crash happen where a corvette ran the red and tboned a SUV, obliterating the front of the vette and the side of the SUV and flinging the SUV into a streelight. We eventually make our way around the mess and given our previous 2 intersections, were somewhat concerned when it was just us an the armored truck at our last intersection before we made it back to work, hoping that we dont see a third collision. That same day after work, we are wating for the light to turn green, and so it does, and I don't move.
A couple seconds pass and my coworker (the same one from lunch carpooling with me home) says "Aren't you going to go?". I immediately reply with "No", and immediately after I said that, a big black SUV I did not see runs the red on my left perpendicular to us, and most likely would have nailed my car.
He was never impatient with me and green lights again.
I was walking home one night and saw a man lying unconscious on the street. After seeing that he wouldn't respond to me talking to him (or poking him with my foot) I decided to call an ambulance.
While I was waiting for the ambulance to show up the man woke up. I told him an ambulance was coming and he responded with an incomprehensible drunken slur. He started to trying to get away and I, having no desire to try and restrain or even challenge him in case he got violent, just sort of followed him. While I was following him he, showing remarkable agility for someone drunk, managed to climb on top of a bin and jump over the fence into the park.
He landed on top of some plants with a thump. There was a rest of about 3 beats. Then he screamed in pain.
He started running away but because of drunkenness and wet, slippy grass was falling over about once every three metres. Then the ambulance arrived and I explained to them that the unconscious guy I had phoned about was now conscious and trying to escape.
The paramedic replied "Oh no, not again" and went off to unlock the gate into the park.
This is not as epic as some of the stories but the one about the sister slamming her brother into the wall on accident made me think of two.
First, when I was 13 to 15ish, I was real tired and leaning on my brother as he lead me to our room. My dad had the lovely idea to push me in a joking manner, being a Somali who had jumped on his friend's motorbike at my age and busted most of his teeth, his pushes are a little firm. So, what was going to my a slow trip on my brothers' arm to drop me off in front of my bed turns into my flying into the door which was thankfully at an angle rather than closed. Hollow door = loud bang and father filled with regret.
tl;dr
"Here son, let me help"
push BANG!
"crap!"
Another was when my brother and I were riding our bikes outside our grandparents around ages 10 and 8? 9 and 7? I make the wonderful choice to (as I learned this term later) tailgate my brother after getting halfway down the hill. When we got in front of the house, he decided that he wanted to hug our mother or get some cookies from inside, something innocent that would not happen since he stopped with my front tire 3 inches from his back. Did I mention the obscene amount of quarter sized and smaller sizd rocks my grandfather and his next neighbor down had in front of their homes? Those do not work well at slowing little kids in the middle of a crash. I think I apologized but it was all a little blurry afterwards. My uncles laughed their asses off.
Ok a friend and I were riding our bikes around the neighbourhood. Walmart specials our parents had bought, which we modified with whatever ill-gotten money we could get our hands on. I had bar-ends, some custom grips, and since we were riding in the trails behind our neighbourhood and through construction sites all the time tires with fairly knobby tread on them. This was the mid-90s, so they were solid frame mountain bikes with no suspension. This and the type of tires are important to this story.
We we're heading back to my friend's house from stopping at my house, and were going down a side street to his house. I decided to finish off the fun I would catch up to my friend and "buzz" his rear tire with my front. Give him a little surprise. Well as I snuck up on him, at the last minute he veered left. That means that instead of meeting our tires rubber to rubber, my tire met his spokes.
The knobs on my tire were deep enough that they locked on his spokes, effectively using the momentum of my previous forward movement to launch me from my bike like boulder from a catapult. I cleared both our bikes, hit the group, and slid a foot. I was able to walk away from that with only scrapes and a bruise or two. My friend didn't notice me sneek up, but of course had noticed the aftermath. He was caught between concern and hysterical laughter, but at least helped me up. We walked ourselves over to his house, having had enough fun for the day.
When I was about... 8 or so ('81-ish), my folks got me a bike, and was still learning balance. One day, my shoelace got tangled into the pedal, and tightened around it, preventing further pedalling. I went down, as I panicked. I sat there, in the middle of the street, crying. My cousin who lived down the block, heard me, and came by and helped me untie the shoe, and get me up.
My friends from up the street later came up and asked "who was that girl who picked you up?"
"That was my cousin Joe. He's a boy."
Not only had they watched the whole thing, but they didn't even come down to help me out. Assholes.
A friend of the family's young son had been learning to ride a bike. He hadn't got the hang of using the brakes yet, instead stopping the bike by putting his feet down onto the ground. One day he was biking very quickly, downhill, barefoot....
A friend of the family's young son had been learning to ride a bike. He hadn't got the hang of using the breaks yet, instead stopping the bike by putting his feet down onto the ground. One day he was biking very quickly, downhill, barefoot.
Eh, I almost never used the brakes on my bike when I used to ride. I had one of those ooooold BMX-style bikes with no gears or anything, and I generally slowed down by pedaling in reverse to halt the tires.
My parents adopted a dachshund that had apparently been abused earlier in life. He's usually too terrified to go out in public, and my mere presence would drive the dog into paroxysms of fear and rage. He'd hide behind my parent's chairs barking furiously at me until I came within ten feet of him, then he'd bolt across the house to hide under the bed.
During college, I brought my then-girlfriend over to meet my parents. Well, one non-parent person was bad enough for the dog, but two was just absolutely horrible. So, with my girlfriend watching, he ran for the bedroom faster than I've ever seen him. The little sausage absolutely turned into a red blur. Yet--and I still have no idea how this was physically possible--while he was running at full speed, he was also pooping at full speed. And since he was running so fast, the little poop kibbles would roll a few feet before stopping.
The relationship ended shortly afterward, and I still blame that mutt.
Not sure if this completely fits the flavour of the thread:
I recently had the temerity to suggest on another website that celebrities who engage in self-destructive and criminal behaviour just might deserve little sympathy when complaining about the paparazzi that follow them around. This degenerated into me being accused of 'blaming the victim' and casuistries suggesting that a woman going to a bar and being harassed or even raped as being the same thing.
Of course, it's not the first time my train of logic reaches destinations others don't necessarily consider. When I was about sixteen, my mom (Single, working mother. Not much money.) sits me down and tells me that as a sixteen year-old male, it would be too expensive to put me onto her auto insurance policy as a driver. A bit of a bummer, sure. But not the worst thing in the world since where I lived at the time, everything and everywhere I wanted to go was a bike ride away anyway.
But I tend to think of alternative ideas and present them anyway. A kind of self-appointed Devil's Advocate. I'm not married to the suggestions, I only present them. So after a moment or two, I suggested that an alternative to my not being on the policy would be to make me the only insured driver in the house. I thought it was obviously not a genuine example of a legitimate alternative. Apparently, my family thought I was trying to be a controlling bastard...
My parents adopted a dachshund that had apparently been abused earlier in life. He's usually too terrified to go out in public, and my mere presence would drive the dog into paroxysms of fear and rage. He'd hide behind my parent's chairs barking furiously at me until I came within ten feet of him, then he'd bolt across the house to hide under the bed.
During college, I brought my then-girlfriend over to meet my parents. Well, one non-parent person was bad enough for the dog, but two was just absolutely horrible. So, with my girlfriend watching, he ran for the bedroom faster than I've ever seen him. The little sausage absolutely turned into a red blur. Yet--and I still have no idea how this was physically possible--while he was running at full speed, he was also pooping at full speed. And since he was running so fast, the little poop kibbles would roll a few feet before stopping.
The relationship ended shortly afterward, and I still blame that mutt.
"have you ever seen a man.......take a shit.........running at full speed?"
My parents adopted a dachshund that had apparently been abused earlier in life. He's usually too terrified to go out in public, and my mere presence would drive the dog into paroxysms of fear and rage. He'd hide behind my parent's chairs barking furiously at me until I came within ten feet of him, then he'd bolt across the house to hide under the bed.
During college, I brought my then-girlfriend over to meet my parents. Well, one non-parent person was bad enough for the dog, but two was just absolutely horrible. So, with my girlfriend watching, he ran for the bedroom faster than I've ever seen him. The little sausage absolutely turned into a red blur. Yet--and I still have no idea how this was physically possible--while he was running at full speed, he was also pooping at full speed. And since he was running so fast, the little poop kibbles would roll a few feet before stopping.
The relationship ended shortly afterward, and I still blame that mutt.
"have you ever seen a man.......take a shit.........running at full speed?"
ITT: We can solve all of our problems if we all decided to stop being dickheads.
I consider myself more of a buffoon than a dickhead, but your point stands.
Seriously...half of these stories are like "So I decided to be a shitcock, and it backfired. Feel bad for me." Although I do suppose that is what makes most of these embarrassing.
I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I were a more sensible human being. Then I remember all the awesome times I've had because I made decisions which, at the time, were poorly thought-out and impulsive.
So we have a lot of country clubs in my area. Next to one is a delightful establishment known as the "19th Hole Lounge." All the windows are covered, I've never seen anyone enter or leave, and it is sorta shady looking, especially for being next to a golf course and all.
So to my younger self, this place with a golf hole and pennant with a 19 on it is obviously a minigolf place. Duh. And I love me some minigolf.
So I asked my parents one day if we could go there one day, pointing to the building. I didn't say why, just that "It'd be fun."
So they looked at me real funny and said "No, I don't think we want to go in there."
"But minigolf!"
They told me that The 19th Hole Lounge wasn't minigolf, and left it at that.
Took me a good few years to figure out, oh, that's a "gentlemen's club."
So, I had the good fortune of overhearing a conversation between a couple of friends and the younger brother of one of them.
Said younger brother is 16, has a girlfriend, and they want to have sex. They don't want kids though. Rather, she doesn't want kids. He does, some day, down the line, like, if they get married or something later. The (apparently retarded) girlfriend had the perfect solution: vasectomy (I believe she told him to get clipped, actually). So he was talking to his brother about this, and me and the other friend happened to be there. Third friend decided to join in the convo, I did not.
This goes on for about ten to fifteen minutes with his brother and our friend. Finally, our friend decided the conversation was over. He threw his hands up, got up from the couch, looked at the younger brother and said:
"Look, kid, you're too young to have surgery on your junk. Just...just...yeah."
So, I had the good fortune of overhearing a conversation between a couple of friends and the younger brother of one of them.
Said younger brother is 16, has a girlfriend, and they want to have sex. They don't want kids though. Rather, she doesn't want kids. He does, some day, down the line, like, if they get married or something later. The (apparently retarded) girlfriend had the perfect solution: vasectomy (I believe she told him to get clipped, actually). So he was talking to his brother about this, and me and the other friend happened to be there. Third friend decided to join in the convo, I did not.
This goes on for about ten to fifteen minutes with his brother and our friend. Finally, our friend decided the conversation was over. He threw his hands up, got up from the couch, looked at the younger brother and said:
"Look, kid, you're too young to have surgery on your junk. Just...just...yeah."
and walked out of the room.
The most amazing part is that he has to get clipped because she doesn't want kids. Now, I can accept that the guy is expected to have the condom, but surgery is just too fucking much.
So yesterday, my brother popped by my workplace and offered to take me out to lunch since he and I rarely get to see each other (I work full-time and go to school part-time, he's a full-time nursing student and is a nurse at the medical center at the college). We were walking out to his car and this woman pulled halfway out of her parking space, blocking our path, and just stared at us. My brother started motioning for her to continue pulling out and she rolled down her window and asked, "You got a fuckin' problem?" My brother said, "Yes. We cannot continue walking until you pull out of your space. Could you please move along so we can go to lunch?"
She did, leaving her window down, and starts calling him a "fuckin' dumbass little prick" to her passenger. Since this woman had some rather horrific acne, he just looked at her and said, "Wash your face." She stopped her car, put it in park, threw off her seatbelt, jumped out and ran at him, putting her hands around his throat. My brother just stepped back out of her grip and I was around his car and told her that she'd just committed assault and I was going to call the cops. My brother told me not to and said, "Don't bother. One day, she's going to try that shit with the wrong person and wind up in some serious trouble." As I continued telling this woman that what she'd done was assault and that she was lucky my brother was a kind soul, her "husband" (a rather small woman) leans out of the passenger seat and says, "Sir, could you please leave my wife alone?"
I obliged and the woman walked back to her car and started talking about how she was going to run us over. They left when the saw me start reaching into my pocket for my cell phone.
And that was how my brother took me to lunch after an angry lesbian tried to strangle him. It was possibly the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed in my life.
So yesterday, my brother popped by my workplace and offered to take me out to lunch since he and I rarely get to see each other (I work full-time and go to school part-time, he's a full-time nursing student and is a nurse at the medical center at the college). We were walking out to his car and this woman pulled halfway out of her parking space, blocking our path, and just stared at us. My brother started motioning for her to continue pulling out and she rolled down her window and asked, "You got a fuckin' problem?" My brother said, "Yes. We cannot continue walking until you pull out of your space. Could you please move along so we can go to lunch?"
She did, leaving her window down, and starts calling him a "fuckin' dumbass little prick" to her passenger. Since this woman had some rather horrific acne, he just looked at her and said, "Wash your face." She stopped her car, put it in park, threw off her seatbelt, jumped out and ran at him, putting her hands around his throat. My brother just stepped back out of her grip and I was around his car and told her that she'd just committed assault and I was going to call the cops. My brother told me not to and said, "Don't bother. One day, she's going to try that shit with the wrong person and wind up in some serious trouble." As I continued telling this woman that what she'd done was assault and that she was lucky my brother was a kind soul, her "husband" (a rather small woman) leans out of the passenger seat and says, "Sir, could you please leave my wife alone?"
I obliged and the woman walked back to her car and started talking about how she was going to run us over. They left when the saw me start reaching into my pocket for my cell phone.
And that was how my brother took me to lunch after an angry lesbian tried to strangle him. It was possibly the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed in my life.
I wonder if it's possible that the women was on hormones for a gender swap. I don't know much about it, but maybe it's possible that testosterone could cause the acne and/or mood swings, and if you take the above transgender idea to be true, you would have really hit a sore spot with the "wash your face" comment
not that it excuses the actions, or that it's a likely cause, just a thought i had
Is this thread turning into a Strange and Embarrassing moment?
I'd say more of a "alert the neighborhood watch" moment, if you mean Obs' comment.
...I didn't want to quote it...
If you're talking about my quote, I don't understand why. It wasn't a terrible opinion. I just simply believe that people who say they never want kids, whether natural or adopted or whatever, are just kind of fucked up and selfish in a way. I've never liked people like that for some reason.
If you're talking about my quote, I don't understand why. It wasn't a terrible opinion. I just simply believe that people who say they never want kids, whether natural or adopted or whatever, are just kind of fucked up and selfish in a way. I've never liked people like that for some reason.
Yes what horrible bastards we are for contributing to society in some other way.
Edit: I'd also have to say it's a terrible opinion for calling my wife some sort of bitch.
Posts
This is worth many talents of gold, hins of oil, and scores of slaves. Listen to the Weavers and keep their secrets unto death.
Rats are limited to gaps the size of a quarter, I think. Now, spiders... get a piece of gum, and lay it on the floor. That's more than big enough.
Yeah, that's exactly how I saw it. He hears you say bus, which to him means go, he goes. You hear something in your native language you don't think twice if it's in your secondary language cause of how you've grown up. Strange and frightful story indeed.
Wait, why did you stop? Premonition?
Did you get called a chicken in the future?
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While I was waiting for the ambulance to show up the man woke up. I told him an ambulance was coming and he responded with an incomprehensible drunken slur. He started to trying to get away and I, having no desire to try and restrain or even challenge him in case he got violent, just sort of followed him. While I was following him he, showing remarkable agility for someone drunk, managed to climb on top of a bin and jump over the fence into the park.
He landed on top of some plants with a thump. There was a rest of about 3 beats. Then he screamed in pain.
He started running away but because of drunkenness and wet, slippy grass was falling over about once every three metres. Then the ambulance arrived and I explained to them that the unconscious guy I had phoned about was now conscious and trying to escape.
The paramedic replied "Oh no, not again" and went off to unlock the gate into the park.
Twitter
First, when I was 13 to 15ish, I was real tired and leaning on my brother as he lead me to our room. My dad had the lovely idea to push me in a joking manner, being a Somali who had jumped on his friend's motorbike at my age and busted most of his teeth, his pushes are a little firm. So, what was going to my a slow trip on my brothers' arm to drop me off in front of my bed turns into my flying into the door which was thankfully at an angle rather than closed. Hollow door = loud bang and father filled with regret.
tl;dr
"Here son, let me help"
push
BANG!
"crap!"
Another was when my brother and I were riding our bikes outside our grandparents around ages 10 and 8? 9 and 7? I make the wonderful choice to (as I learned this term later) tailgate my brother after getting halfway down the hill. When we got in front of the house, he decided that he wanted to hug our mother or get some cookies from inside, something innocent that would not happen since he stopped with my front tire 3 inches from his back. Did I mention the obscene amount of quarter sized and smaller sizd rocks my grandfather and his next neighbor down had in front of their homes? Those do not work well at slowing little kids in the middle of a crash. I think I apologized but it was all a little blurry afterwards. My uncles laughed their asses off.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
It's almost Spring Break, and my friend Melissa was going on some kind of trip with her family and boyfriend and his family and whatnot.
Well, about 2-3 days before Spring Break, she tells me that her boyfriend's brother had just passed away.
My response: "So I take it he's not going on the trip with you?"
Thank God she assumed I was talking about her boyfriend, because, you know, awkward.
Ok a friend and I were riding our bikes around the neighbourhood. Walmart specials our parents had bought, which we modified with whatever ill-gotten money we could get our hands on. I had bar-ends, some custom grips, and since we were riding in the trails behind our neighbourhood and through construction sites all the time tires with fairly knobby tread on them. This was the mid-90s, so they were solid frame mountain bikes with no suspension. This and the type of tires are important to this story.
We we're heading back to my friend's house from stopping at my house, and were going down a side street to his house. I decided to finish off the fun I would catch up to my friend and "buzz" his rear tire with my front. Give him a little surprise. Well as I snuck up on him, at the last minute he veered left. That means that instead of meeting our tires rubber to rubber, my tire met his spokes.
The knobs on my tire were deep enough that they locked on his spokes, effectively using the momentum of my previous forward movement to launch me from my bike like boulder from a catapult. I cleared both our bikes, hit the group, and slid a foot. I was able to walk away from that with only scrapes and a bruise or two. My friend didn't notice me sneek up, but of course had noticed the aftermath. He was caught between concern and hysterical laughter, but at least helped me up. We walked ourselves over to his house, having had enough fun for the day.
I never finish anyth
My friends from up the street later came up and asked "who was that girl who picked you up?"
"That was my cousin Joe. He's a boy."
Not only had they watched the whole thing, but they didn't even come down to help me out. Assholes.
Eh, I almost never used the brakes on my bike when I used to ride. I had one of those ooooold BMX-style bikes with no gears or anything, and I generally slowed down by pedaling in reverse to halt the tires.
My parents adopted a dachshund that had apparently been abused earlier in life. He's usually too terrified to go out in public, and my mere presence would drive the dog into paroxysms of fear and rage. He'd hide behind my parent's chairs barking furiously at me until I came within ten feet of him, then he'd bolt across the house to hide under the bed.
During college, I brought my then-girlfriend over to meet my parents. Well, one non-parent person was bad enough for the dog, but two was just absolutely horrible. So, with my girlfriend watching, he ran for the bedroom faster than I've ever seen him. The little sausage absolutely turned into a red blur. Yet--and I still have no idea how this was physically possible--while he was running at full speed, he was also pooping at full speed. And since he was running so fast, the little poop kibbles would roll a few feet before stopping.
The relationship ended shortly afterward, and I still blame that mutt.
I recently had the temerity to suggest on another website that celebrities who engage in self-destructive and criminal behaviour just might deserve little sympathy when complaining about the paparazzi that follow them around. This degenerated into me being accused of 'blaming the victim' and casuistries suggesting that a woman going to a bar and being harassed or even raped as being the same thing.
Of course, it's not the first time my train of logic reaches destinations others don't necessarily consider. When I was about sixteen, my mom (Single, working mother. Not much money.) sits me down and tells me that as a sixteen year-old male, it would be too expensive to put me onto her auto insurance policy as a driver. A bit of a bummer, sure. But not the worst thing in the world since where I lived at the time, everything and everywhere I wanted to go was a bike ride away anyway.
But I tend to think of alternative ideas and present them anyway. A kind of self-appointed Devil's Advocate. I'm not married to the suggestions, I only present them. So after a moment or two, I suggested that an alternative to my not being on the policy would be to make me the only insured driver in the house. I thought it was obviously not a genuine example of a legitimate alternative. Apparently, my family thought I was trying to be a controlling bastard...
"have you ever seen a man.......take a shit.........running at full speed?"
(too obscure?)
Man, that's just something you never see.
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I consider myself more of a buffoon than a dickhead, but your point stands.
Seriously...half of these stories are like "So I decided to be a shitcock, and it backfired. Feel bad for me." Although I do suppose that is what makes most of these embarrassing.
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I never finish anyth
So to my younger self, this place with a golf hole and pennant with a 19 on it is obviously a minigolf place. Duh. And I love me some minigolf.
So I asked my parents one day if we could go there one day, pointing to the building. I didn't say why, just that "It'd be fun."
So they looked at me real funny and said "No, I don't think we want to go in there."
"But minigolf!"
They told me that The 19th Hole Lounge wasn't minigolf, and left it at that.
Took me a good few years to figure out, oh, that's a "gentlemen's club."
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Said younger brother is 16, has a girlfriend, and they want to have sex. They don't want kids though. Rather, she doesn't want kids. He does, some day, down the line, like, if they get married or something later. The (apparently retarded) girlfriend had the perfect solution: vasectomy (I believe she told him to get clipped, actually). So he was talking to his brother about this, and me and the other friend happened to be there. Third friend decided to join in the convo, I did not.
This goes on for about ten to fifteen minutes with his brother and our friend. Finally, our friend decided the conversation was over. He threw his hands up, got up from the couch, looked at the younger brother and said:
"Look, kid, you're too young to have surgery on your junk. Just...just...yeah."
and walked out of the room.
The most amazing part is that he has to get clipped because she doesn't want kids. Now, I can accept that the guy is expected to have the condom, but surgery is just too fucking much.
I'd say more of a "alert the neighborhood watch" moment, if you mean Obs' comment.
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...I didn't want to quote it...
She did, leaving her window down, and starts calling him a "fuckin' dumbass little prick" to her passenger. Since this woman had some rather horrific acne, he just looked at her and said, "Wash your face." She stopped her car, put it in park, threw off her seatbelt, jumped out and ran at him, putting her hands around his throat. My brother just stepped back out of her grip and I was around his car and told her that she'd just committed assault and I was going to call the cops. My brother told me not to and said, "Don't bother. One day, she's going to try that shit with the wrong person and wind up in some serious trouble." As I continued telling this woman that what she'd done was assault and that she was lucky my brother was a kind soul, her "husband" (a rather small woman) leans out of the passenger seat and says, "Sir, could you please leave my wife alone?"
I obliged and the woman walked back to her car and started talking about how she was going to run us over. They left when the saw me start reaching into my pocket for my cell phone.
And that was how my brother took me to lunch after an angry lesbian tried to strangle him. It was possibly the most surreal thing I've ever witnessed in my life.
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I wonder if it's possible that the women was on hormones for a gender swap. I don't know much about it, but maybe it's possible that testosterone could cause the acne and/or mood swings, and if you take the above transgender idea to be true, you would have really hit a sore spot with the "wash your face" comment
not that it excuses the actions, or that it's a likely cause, just a thought i had
If you're talking about my quote, I don't understand why. It wasn't a terrible opinion. I just simply believe that people who say they never want kids, whether natural or adopted or whatever, are just kind of fucked up and selfish in a way. I've never liked people like that for some reason.
I agree, but I let him make the decision on that.
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Edit: I'd also have to say it's a terrible opinion for calling my wife some sort of bitch.