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School me on the butsex

That GuyThat Guy Registered User
edited July 2009 in Help / Advice Forum
So a girl has recently offered to have anal sex with me.

It's both her, and my, first time.

It's something I have wanted to try for a while, but I know she is definitely nervous about it.

Any advice/tips?

That Guy on
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Posts

  • DarwinsFavoriteTortoiseDarwinsFavoriteTortoise Registered User
    edited May 2009
    NEVER go ass to mouth.

    Other than that, lube up like crazy, wear a condom (obviously), and go slooooow.

    I don't have any experience in anal sex, so hopefully someone that has experienced it can give you some tips.

  • Penguin_OtakuPenguin_Otaku Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    In the heat of the moment, it's ok to go ass to mouth.

    Lots and lots of lube.

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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    In my experience, the best anal sex is prepared for before hand. Both of you get awfully clean. This is a little hard to organize. I mean it's difficult to turn to your partner and say "Hey, wash your ass real well." So, try to turn this into foreplay by perhaps taking a shower together?

    Go very, slow. You said she's nervous and that she's the one who offered, so honestly, your best bet is to make it all about her. Take your time, go gentle, and exercise some restraint. The best way to ensure that you NEVER get to do this again would be to just barrel in akin to a bull in a china store. Lots of lube, lots of condom use, gentle, slow - let her tell you how fast or slow to go.

    As far as ass to mouth is concerned, well, it's not my bag. I don't know how she'd feel about it (I imagine that she wouldn't be super interested in it at first). If you do want to do that, you wanna clear it before hand and make sure that your both extremely clean prior to any anal sex acts. Seriously, do you want to be the guy to fuck her in the ass, try to go mouth, with some of her feces on your dick?

    No, I didn't think you want to be that guy.

    So, in summation. Get very clean. Get a ton of lube. Get a condom. Get used to the idea of going very slow and make sure you both enjoy yourself.

    I am in the business of saving lives.

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  • DogDog Registered User, Administrator, Vanilla Staff admin
    edited May 2009
    In the heat of the moment, it's ok to go ass to mouth.

    No, it really isn't.

  • xeviqxeviq Registered User
    edited May 2009
    An enema beforehand couldn't hurt.

  • HoovesHooves Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Tell her to take a shit beforehand.

    I cannot stress this enough.

  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'd definitely agree with the lead up to it with a shower beforehand. That would ensure you're both squeaky clean and then you're both hot and bothered and wanna get down to it! Use lots of lube, and be gentle.

    http://twitter.com/#!/dirtylonghair - My Twitter / GT: GreasyKidsStuff / NNID: GreasyKidsStuff / 3DS Friend Code: 4828 5290 8757 / Digital Comics Codes
  • webguy20webguy20 Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    also for easy cleanup after the act, roll a clean condom over the dirty one, then remove from your junk. That way your only touching clean condom, makes disposal ALOT easier. Remember, this is just for cleanup!

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  • TL DRTL DR Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    xeviq wrote: »
    An enema beforehand couldn't hurt.

    Actually it can cause irritation and make tears easier.

    As others have said: LUBE. More than you would use if you were trying to squeeze an elephant into a Toyota hatchback. Also, clitoral stimulation during insertion. Cunnilingus beforehand is a great idea. Not starting with your penis is another good idea. Fingers, toys, etc.

    TLDR2014_zps40439c2c.jpg
  • streeverstreever Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Start with vaginal, then go anal. Depending on the girl, you may not need any lube. (in my experience at least)

    good luck!

  • GreasyKidsStuffGreasyKidsStuff Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    . Also, clitoral stimulation during insertion. Cunnilingus beforehand is a great idea. Not starting with your penis is another good idea. Fingers, toys, etc.

    Yeah, I do this. Hell, you can get her going just fine without putting your dick in at all, just use one hand for each opening :P

    http://twitter.com/#!/dirtylonghair - My Twitter / GT: GreasyKidsStuff / NNID: GreasyKidsStuff / 3DS Friend Code: 4828 5290 8757 / Digital Comics Codes
  • xeviqxeviq Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Condoms don't apply to just penises either. WHATEVER goes in her rectum should have a condom.

  • Kate of LokysKate of Lokys Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Buttsex requires a fine line between tact and bluntness. On the one hand, you are going to be sticking your dick in the place she poops from, and you sure don't want to be packing that particular fudge; on the other, handing her a bottle of Ex-Lax and some wetwipes and saying "Madam, do not come out of the bathroom until the inside of your colon has been purged of all trace of filth" is a little tacky.

    My advice, aside from the obvious lube/condom/foreplay/shower: let her pick the time. She will know when her bowels are empty, and when they are full, and she can announce her readiness accordingly. There's no point in you getting both of yourselves all worked up and ready to chart the undiscovered country, then having her flush crimson red, run to the bathroom, and spend twenty minutes straining and grunting and stressing out because you're all ready to deliver your package but there's a three inch thick Sunday paper clogging up the mail slot.

    I'm here to tell you about voting. Imagine you're locked in a huge underground nightclub filled with sinners, whores, freaks and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun. And you ain't allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight [. . .] So you vote for television, and everyone else, as far as your eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades. That's voting. You're welcome.
  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    kate...that analogy at the end is very disturbing

    Also anal is pretty good, I always start off with fingers first as you don't wanna just stick something that large in right away, gotta loosen it up a little first.

    You don't always need lube either, most of the time a ladies natural lubricant is more then enough. Also let the girl decide, if the girl is nervous, there not going to enjoy in, and then after that there will be a stigma present for her where she isn't going to want to do it again.

    This is just my experience though

  • Omnicron9999Omnicron9999 Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Buttsex requires a fine line between tact and bluntness. On the one hand, you are going to be sticking your dick in the place she poops from, and you sure don't want to be packing that particular fudge; on the other, handing her a bottle of Ex-Lax and some wetwipes and saying "Madam, do not come out of the bathroom until the inside of your colon has been purged of all trace of filth" is a little tacky.

    My advice, aside from the obvious lube/condom/foreplay/shower: let her pick the time. She will know when her bowels are empty, and when they are full, and she can announce her readiness accordingly. There's no point in you getting both of yourselves all worked up and ready to chart the undiscovered country, then having her flush crimson red, run to the bathroom, and spend twenty minutes straining and grunting and stressing out because you're all ready to deliver your package but there's a three inch thick Sunday paper clogging up the mail slot.

    Hahaha, that was the single funniest H/A post I've ever read. Good show.

    In addition to the other good advice, make sure shes relaxed. When people have any sort of stress or whatever it tends to make them tense, the rectum in particular. I actually read once, "We carry our tension in our anus." Sticking something in there doesn't really help this.

    Light some candles, play some music, whip each other, whatever lets her relax. Then just go slow, with plenty of lube. Most of all, just make sure its still fun for everyone involved, don't just think of anal as the endgame of this particular encounter. If it hurts, or its not working, just fall back on the usual sex acts, this will also help relieve some of the pressure of the act.

  • DodgeBlanDodgeBlan Gaderen PSN: GaderenRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Dixon wrote: »
    kate...that analogy at the end is very disturbing

    Also anal is pretty good, I always start off with fingers first as you don't wanna just stick something that large in right away, gotta loosen it up a little first.

    You don't always need lube either, most of the time a ladies natural lubricant is more then enough. Also let the girl decide, if the girl is nervous, there not going to enjoy in, and then after that there will be a stigma present for her where she isn't going to want to do it again.

    This is just my experience though

    People have natural lubricant in their butt? really?

    OooOOOoOoOOOooOOOoOOOoOoOOoOOoOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo
  • Mmmm... Cocks...Mmmm... Cocks... Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    Dixon wrote: »
    kate...that analogy at the end is very disturbing

    Also anal is pretty good, I always start off with fingers first as you don't wanna just stick something that large in right away, gotta loosen it up a little first.

    You don't always need lube either, most of the time a ladies natural lubricant is more then enough. Also let the girl decide, if the girl is nervous, there not going to enjoy in, and then after that there will be a stigma present for her where she isn't going to want to do it again.

    This is just my experience though

    People have natural lubricant in their butt? really?
    What he said, cause they don't.

    Also, reinforcing the idea of showering before hand.
    Also, while there, try a finger or two. If that doesn't work no sense in lunging in and ending up disappointed cause you can't even get the head in.

    And to reinforce another fact, lube lube lube.
    Lube her AND yourself up, twice what you would expect to be twice the amount.

    Spoiler:

    Edit: also, I remember reading make sure she bottoms.
    I know, you'd think she'd be better on the top in control.
    But on her back her anus is more relaxed, or so I've read.

  • Aurora BorealisAurora Borealis Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Start sloooowww, yes. But don't be up in there forever. Especially if your lube starts running dry.

    I can't imagine making it work with girl on top- you need to be doing all the work, sir. Her job is to RELAX.
    I could be proven wrong of course, but that's my own experience.
    But maybe try it standing up, I've had excellent success with that. Or doggy, it's a classic for a reason. Alternatively, some people like it with girl on her back, legs all the way up. That way you get face-to face communication which may be important if it's everybody's first time. If one position doesn't work, another might be better.

    Agreed with the start out cunnilingus/vag. The more relaxed she is the better for everybody. Hell, the more relaxed you are, the better.
    This is supposed to be fun. It can be REALLY REALLY fun. I find it's also some of the best stress relief ever.

    YMMV, of course. It's not for everyone.

    ...
    but it's really really fun.

  • Evil GummyEvil Gummy Registered User
    edited May 2009
    I've had anal a lot, it's one of my favorite forms of sex, at the right time it makes for very erotic fun.

    Besides what has been said about warming her up, using luuuuuube, and going slow, I want to add on positions;

    Despite the comments against her on top, I've found riding cowgirl to be the best for myself. The position lets me go at my own speed, and I've got access to the frontal area for maximum pleasure. This might not be the same for her, so experiment, but for me being able to rub-rub upon yon clitoris always makes the initial discomfort easier.


    I always had too much pain in doggy position for this, too.


    Oh. This might not hold true for her, but I'll say, my endurance in this area is still low. After a few minutes, maybe 10-15 at MOST, even if the pain was gone it always comes back. I just can't keep sexin it all up in there, it gets sore and uncomfortable even at the slowest speeds.

    So don't think of it like classic "I must hold out and go on for hours!" silly mentality, have your fun in a burst and leave it be.

    hatsig.jpg
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Porn stars do this by fasting beforehand and wearing a buttplug for at least a couple hours before. Since it's being filmed they want no pain, blood, or feces, which is why they prepare so much.

    For a normal couple, the advice above is solid. I've no interest in anal sex, but reading enough Savage Love will tell you that if you really want it to be a fun, clean experience, you basically need to start preparing at least a day in advance.

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • MimMim Now known as "Bim" It means "Bisexual Mim"Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    So how exactly do you get the butt clean? Okay, that sounded wrong, but I mean if the poo is coming from inside the butt what good will cleaning the outside do. Or are you guys talking about shooting water up in the hole?

  • TalithTalith 変態という名の紳士 Miami, FLRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    If you are going to have vaginal sex you need to change the condom as well. Don't just change holes on the fly.

    RGqiDzM.png
  • SammyFSammyF Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Lots and lots of lube.

    Some people say "there's no such thing as too much lube."

    Yes there is.

    While there aren't dirty pictures and the writing is not any more "mature" than what you're likely to read in some threads on this forum, you should still probably not read Tucker Max's description of his first experience with anal sex while you're at work.

    TL;DR - Lube enema. D:

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    Dixon wrote: »
    kate...that analogy at the end is very disturbing

    Also anal is pretty good, I always start off with fingers first as you don't wanna just stick something that large in right away, gotta loosen it up a little first.

    You don't always need lube either, most of the time a ladies natural lubricant is more then enough. Also let the girl decide, if the girl is nervous, there not going to enjoy in, and then after that there will be a stigma present for her where she isn't going to want to do it again.

    This is just my experience though

    People have natural lubricant in their butt? really?

    No it doesn't have lubricant, I guess I wrote that wrong, but the lubricant from the vagina will drip down there. Unless the woman needs to use lubricant for vaginal sex, in which case you'll need to use lube, but I've never had that happen

  • bowenbowen Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I would advise relying on her goo juice, being mucus-like in makeup, when it dries it becomes sticky. Really sticky. Painfully sticky.

    Unless she's a fountain and you're doing it missionary style there were probably not be an ample supply providing the necessary reapplication of lube.

  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Talith wrote: »
    If you are going to have vaginal sex you need to change the condom as well. Don't just change holes on the fly.

    This is good advice on the Ass to Mouth front as well - if you're going to do it at least change/whip off the condom before it goes in her mouth. (I say change because condoms during oral are recommended by some people, even if nobody actually uses them.)

    Basically, use common sense. You're dealing with a huge amount of bacteria, you want to keep the bacteria off of you, her, and any other 'toys' you might use.

  • streeverstreever Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    I'm with Dixon... never been an issue. But it COULD be one, so use common sense. If things don't seem ready, then use some. If things do seem ready, still go with caution.

  • Peter PrinciplePeter Principle Registered User
    edited May 2009
    One more warning: If she doesn't happen to get completely clean inside and you do happen to get some of her shit on your dick, do not freak out and make a big deal out of it. You might, in fact, want to shield her from the knowledge that has happened if at all possible. If she thinks you think "Gross! Dooke!" when you ass fuck her, then she probably isn't going to be all that eager to do it again. If she thinks "Oh damn, I get shit on his dick every time he ass fucks me." it might have the same effect.

    Oh, and you can go pussy to ass without lube, but that's an advanced manuever. You'd probably want to be ass fucking regulary for oh, I'd say at least 3 months before you try it.

    "A man is likely to mind his own business when it is worth minding. When it is not, he takes his mind off his own meaningless affairs by minding other people's business." - Eric Hoffer, _The True Believer_
  • TL DRTL DR Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Talith wrote: »
    If you are going to have vaginal sex you need to change the condom as well. Don't just change holes on the fly.

    Word. Infectious bacteria are not hot.

    TLDR2014_zps40439c2c.jpg
  • xeviqxeviq Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Also, after the deed is done, talk about it.
    Did you like it? If not, why? Same for her.
    If you ended up getting soo turned off by the poop, don't tell her though. Just say something along the lines of it not being what you were thinking.
    And if you loved it but she absolutely hated it, don't take it personally.

  • Platypus BeirutPlatypus Beirut Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    No one has mentioned it yet, so... If you exercise with fingers, make sure your fingernails are well trimmed. Use a nail file to remove any jagged parts.

  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Don't expect to go whole hog on the first try. It can take many warm-up sessions until she's ready.

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Don't expect to go whole hog on the first try. It can take many warm-up sessions until she's ready.

    Yeah I forgot to mention this...the first few times I usually just use a finger and get them used to the feeling.

  • Eat_FireEat_Fire Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    If your in a relationship with this girl it works better to gradually get to full anal sex. Start by using a finger back there on her while your having regular sex and then eventually another. The girl has to learn how to relax the muscles she has there that keep that place tight. I recommend having her on top and letting her figure out how to relax herself for this to work.

    Also keep a towel handy.

    -Updating life to SP1-
  • VisionOfClarityVisionOfClarity Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Trusting your partner is a huge part of anal as well when you're a girl. You need to be very comfortable with that person.

  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Should you use a glove?

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  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Should you use a glove?

    I have never used a glove, that may be a little weird

  • UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    Dixon wrote: »
    Should you use a glove?

    I have never used a glove, that may be a little weird

    *laughs* That snapping sound medical gloves make might ruin the atmosphere a bit. Unless it's a Doctor/Nurse themed session. This thread is really informational.

  • That GuyThat Guy Registered User
    edited May 2009
    Thanks for the great advice so far guys, it's been very helpful.

    One question - Where the hell am I supposed to get poppers from? Also, are they even legal in the UK right now? I know that they have been made illegal in the past, but I think that they are legal now...

  • TL DRTL DR Registered User regular
    edited May 2009
    That Guy wrote: »
    Thanks for the great advice so far guys, it's been very helpful.

    One question - Where the hell am I supposed to get poppers from? Also, are they even legal in the UK right now? I know that they have been made illegal in the past, but I think that they are legal now...

    :lol: Why don't you try without drugs until you get the hang of it. Driving on the highway on a light dose of LSD with the top down is really nice, but I wouldn't want to try it my first time behind the wheel.

    TLDR2014_zps40439c2c.jpg
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