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School me on the butsex
That Guy
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
So a girl has recently offered to have anal sex with me.
It's both her, and my, first time.
It's something I have wanted to try for a while, but I know she is definitely nervous about it.
Any advice/tips?
It's both her, and my, first time.
It's something I have wanted to try for a while, but I know she is definitely nervous about it.
Any advice/tips?
That Guy on
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Other than that, lube up like crazy, wear a condom (obviously), and go slooooow.
I don't have any experience in anal sex, so hopefully someone that has experienced it can give you some tips.
Lots and lots of lube.
Go very, slow. You said she's nervous and that she's the one who offered, so honestly, your best bet is to make it all about her. Take your time, go gentle, and exercise some restraint. The best way to ensure that you NEVER get to do this again would be to just barrel in akin to a bull in a china store. Lots of lube, lots of condom use, gentle, slow - let her tell you how fast or slow to go.
As far as ass to mouth is concerned, well, it's not my bag. I don't know how she'd feel about it (I imagine that she wouldn't be super interested in it at first). If you do want to do that, you wanna clear it before hand and make sure that your both extremely clean prior to any anal sex acts. Seriously, do you want to be the guy to fuck her in the ass, try to go mouth, with some of her feces on your dick?
No, I didn't think you want to be that guy.
So, in summation. Get very clean. Get a ton of lube. Get a condom. Get used to the idea of going very slow and make sure you both enjoy yourself.
No, it really isn't.
I cannot stress this enough.
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Actually it can cause irritation and make tears easier.
As others have said: LUBE. More than you would use if you were trying to squeeze an elephant into a Toyota hatchback. Also, clitoral stimulation during insertion. Cunnilingus beforehand is a great idea. Not starting with your penis is another good idea. Fingers, toys, etc.
good luck!
Yeah, I do this. Hell, you can get her going just fine without putting your dick in at all, just use one hand for each opening :P
My advice, aside from the obvious lube/condom/foreplay/shower: let her pick the time. She will know when her bowels are empty, and when they are full, and she can announce her readiness accordingly. There's no point in you getting both of yourselves all worked up and ready to chart the undiscovered country, then having her flush crimson red, run to the bathroom, and spend twenty minutes straining and grunting and stressing out because you're all ready to deliver your package but there's a three inch thick Sunday paper clogging up the mail slot.
Also anal is pretty good, I always start off with fingers first as you don't wanna just stick something that large in right away, gotta loosen it up a little first.
You don't always need lube either, most of the time a ladies natural lubricant is more then enough. Also let the girl decide, if the girl is nervous, there not going to enjoy in, and then after that there will be a stigma present for her where she isn't going to want to do it again.
This is just my experience though
Hahaha, that was the single funniest H/A post I've ever read. Good show.
In addition to the other good advice, make sure shes relaxed. When people have any sort of stress or whatever it tends to make them tense, the rectum in particular. I actually read once, "We carry our tension in our anus." Sticking something in there doesn't really help this.
Light some candles, play some music, whip each other, whatever lets her relax. Then just go slow, with plenty of lube. Most of all, just make sure its still fun for everyone involved, don't just think of anal as the endgame of this particular encounter. If it hurts, or its not working, just fall back on the usual sex acts, this will also help relieve some of the pressure of the act.
People have natural lubricant in their butt? really?
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Also, reinforcing the idea of showering before hand.
Also, while there, try a finger or two. If that doesn't work no sense in lunging in and ending up disappointed cause you can't even get the head in.
And to reinforce another fact, lube lube lube.
Lube her AND yourself up, twice what you would expect to be twice the amount.
Edit: also, I remember reading make sure she bottoms.
I know, you'd think she'd be better on the top in control.
But on her back her anus is more relaxed, or so I've read.
I can't imagine making it work with girl on top- you need to be doing all the work, sir. Her job is to RELAX.
I could be proven wrong of course, but that's my own experience.
But maybe try it standing up, I've had excellent success with that. Or doggy, it's a classic for a reason. Alternatively, some people like it with girl on her back, legs all the way up. That way you get face-to face communication which may be important if it's everybody's first time. If one position doesn't work, another might be better.
Agreed with the start out cunnilingus/vag. The more relaxed she is the better for everybody. Hell, the more relaxed you are, the better.
This is supposed to be fun. It can be REALLY REALLY fun. I find it's also some of the best stress relief ever.
YMMV, of course. It's not for everyone.
...
but it's really really fun.
Besides what has been said about warming her up, using luuuuuube, and going slow, I want to add on positions;
Despite the comments against her on top, I've found riding cowgirl to be the best for myself. The position lets me go at my own speed, and I've got access to the frontal area for maximum pleasure. This might not be the same for her, so experiment, but for me being able to rub-rub upon yon clitoris always makes the initial discomfort easier.
I always had too much pain in doggy position for this, too.
Oh. This might not hold true for her, but I'll say, my endurance in this area is still low. After a few minutes, maybe 10-15 at MOST, even if the pain was gone it always comes back. I just can't keep sexin it all up in there, it gets sore and uncomfortable even at the slowest speeds.
So don't think of it like classic "I must hold out and go on for hours!" silly mentality, have your fun in a burst and leave it be.
For a normal couple, the advice above is solid. I've no interest in anal sex, but reading enough Savage Love will tell you that if you really want it to be a fun, clean experience, you basically need to start preparing at least a day in advance.
Some people say "there's no such thing as too much lube."
Yes there is.
While there aren't dirty pictures and the writing is not any more "mature" than what you're likely to read in some threads on this forum, you should still probably not read Tucker Max's description of his first experience with anal sex while you're at work.
TL;DR - Lube enema.
No it doesn't have lubricant, I guess I wrote that wrong, but the lubricant from the vagina will drip down there. Unless the woman needs to use lubricant for vaginal sex, in which case you'll need to use lube, but I've never had that happen
Unless she's a fountain and you're doing it missionary style there were probably not be an ample supply providing the necessary reapplication of lube.
This is good advice on the Ass to Mouth front as well - if you're going to do it at least change/whip off the condom before it goes in her mouth. (I say change because condoms during oral are recommended by some people, even if nobody actually uses them.)
Basically, use common sense. You're dealing with a huge amount of bacteria, you want to keep the bacteria off of you, her, and any other 'toys' you might use.
Oh, and you can go pussy to ass without lube, but that's an advanced manuever. You'd probably want to be ass fucking regulary for oh, I'd say at least 3 months before you try it.
Word. Infectious bacteria are not hot.
Did you like it? If not, why? Same for her.
If you ended up getting soo turned off by the poop, don't tell her though. Just say something along the lines of it not being what you were thinking.
And if you loved it but she absolutely hated it, don't take it personally.
Yeah I forgot to mention this...the first few times I usually just use a finger and get them used to the feeling.
Also keep a towel handy.
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I have never used a glove, that may be a little weird
*laughs* That snapping sound medical gloves make might ruin the atmosphere a bit. Unless it's a Doctor/Nurse themed session. This thread is really informational.
One question - Where the hell am I supposed to get poppers from? Also, are they even legal in the UK right now? I know that they have been made illegal in the past, but I think that they are legal now...